A/N: We hit 200,000 words with this chapter! WHAT IS GOING ON?! Thanks to all of you for hanging in on this crazy ride; I hope you enjoy it even a fragment as much as I enjoy writing it. I can't wait to show you some Shoga watercolor art that sunberries (tumblr: freshsunberries) is working on for me in celebration!
The Beast's Den
"Are you sure this is where you want to go for our trip?" Kuon asked her for the thousandth time, his voice still just as laced with concern as the first. She nodded brightly, her eyes watching the scenery flash by outside their train compartment. "We can always stay at Kurama Ryokan instead - their onsen has the best marks online."
She turned and clasped his hand in hers. "I want to go back," she said softly. "And I want to do it with you."
Kuon's head fell forward, his hair shading his eyes in a way she found almost irresistible. Every time he did it her hand physically ached to reach up and brush it tenderly off his face. Linger for a few heartbeats longer than necessary, long enough for his eyes to rise, to meet hers, for an electric shock of mutual need to pass between them, for him to lean forward, his mouth parting as he tenderly-
"Alright," he said, interrupting her train of thought. "I promise to stop asking."
She turned her face away quickly to hide her blush. This was their first trip together to an onsen, and she was extremely nervous. It didn't seem to help that they'd already been intimate; something about purposefully choosing to go out of town to a place where the entire plan was to remove their clothing made her heart race. Planning to go to the Fuwa ryokan had seeded in her mind as a necessity for closure before she left for the audition, but it quickly merged with a desperate bid to remove some of the lasciviousness from the outing. It had definitely toned down Chiori's lustful vocal composition of her latest fanfic when she informed her best friends of her plan.
"FUWA'S?" Kanae had shouted. She rarely raised her voice anymore, but Kyoko's announcement had shocked it out of her.
"Well, Shotaro isn't home- he's been going Live quite often and is clearly in America somewhere. I haven't watched any of them long enough to tell where; his voice grates on my eardrums." Kyoko stuck out her tongue.
"Kyoko, if his voice alone is enough to torment you still, why are you planning your romantic getaway before being separated from your True Love for several weeks for the terd's family home of all places?" Chiori sounded almost desperate. Her fic outline sheet had been full of what she called "exciting plans" for the two of them, but now it was being slowly crumpled in her fist.
"It's not like being physically intimate is the only thing that can make time apart successful!" Kyoko admonished them with a blush. "This trip is about closure- for both of us. If we are going to be apart, we have to have absolute trust. And for Ren, the biggest obstacle to that is still, however insane it sounds, Fuwa. I can't take him to Fuwa himself, but I can take him to his home!"
"I get it," Chiori said slowly. "Exorcise the beast by making love in his den. I can work with this," she said, meandering away as she scribbled in her notebook.
"Well I for one don't," Kanae said. "Why do you even have to be long-distance? Isn't he auditioning for the same movie? Wouldn't it make sense for him to go with you?"
Chiori called from across the room where she'd established herself at her laptop, already typing away. "And perhaps bring that smokin' hot manager so Kanae doesn't have to go hungry either!"
Kanae swatted at her, but kept her eyes fixed on Kyoko.
"He's got commitments here still. Important ones, involving other people's schedules." She hated being so vague with her friends, but the plans Kuon had were extremely sensitive and even mentioning the parties involved could blow it all. "He's doing a video audition; Seiji-san was able to orchestrate it for him. He does have the filmography behind him to serve as an adequate reference, you know."
"Of course," Kanae nodded. "But still- Fuwa?"
She heard the same argument echoed in Kuon's voice now. She hadn't fully convinced Kanae, but her heart still sang out that this was a good plan. "Kuon," she said, squeezing his hand to draw his eyes to hers. "I'm sorry I'm missing the funeral."
His answering laugh was short and bittersweet. "Promise me you'll watch with Kanae," he said. She nodded emphatically. She wouldn't miss it for the world, even though the timing meant getting up at 3 a.m. in the morning. "That's all I need," he said, pressing her hand to his lips. He looked out the window at the thinning city, Tokyo rushing its last farewells. "It's been years since I've been back to Kyoto," he said.
She bit her lip. Asking for this trip was also asking him to dive back into his own past. But they were on the brink of throwing the door wide open and lancing through his buried scars with the trip back to Los Angeles. Surely this was a gentler beginning. "Kuon," she said, "let's go to our spot."
He eyes flashed deep green in the sunlight, his stare out the window unfocused, lost in memories. Slowly, he turned toward her, a smile breaking over his features like the sun on a winter morning.
"Sometimes I can't wrap my mind around this path that's led me to you," he said.
She didn't answer, choosing instead to wrap her pinky finger around his, her smile an echo of the little girl beaming above hamburger-shaped rocks.
The taxi ride from the station was short; Fuwa-san would have sent a driver but Kyoko preferred to not inconvenience them on a business day. Ren pulled their luggage out, thumping it on the ground beside them. He'd almost poked himself in the eye four times trying to put his contacts in on the bumpy country roads, and still blinked a little too long as he stood next to her. She was blinking oddly as well, but it was from the force of memories overwhelming her and not from forcibly applied eyewear.
The ryokan's graceful whitewash and wood beam walls arched up in imitation of the trees surrounding its garden, anemone flowers sprouting gracefully along the path, their tiny petals decorating the walkway worn smooth by generations of transient feet. Sun-warm flat stones drew racing feet out and away from the patio into the shaded, whispering woods. The smells of delicate white fish, steamed rice and jasmine floated out of the kitchen window where Fuwa-san's knife tapped out a rhythmic beat, singing alongside the okami-san's wooden chimes hanging by the door. Her heart ached to call this beautiful place home, but an emptiness inside her remained, keeping it resigned to the label "where I was raised."
She felt a sudden urge to tie her hair back, her gaze flickering over to meek staff entrance by the kitchen window. Ren's hand gripped hers, a gentle squeeze refocusing her.
'You're here to rest," he said. "Or we go somewhere else."
She looked up at him, her heart skipping a beat from the force of memories merging. She was back, but life had flipped upside down since she left. Or was it right-side up? Kyoko smiled in wonder. More than a year ago her footsteps had raced out that staff entrance at night, chasing after a boy and his dreams. Now she would return, through the front door, with another boy from her past- a boy who wanted to chase after their dreams side by side.
The door slid open. A woman in a silk kimono, made even more graceful by the streaks of gray in her charcoal hair, stood serenely in the frame, her polite smile beckoning them forward. Kyoko took a deep breath and walked forward hand-in-hand with Ren, stopping before the wooden steps to bow deeply.
"Okami-san," Kyoko said, raising from her bow. "Do you have a spare room for us?"
The woman's sharp intake of breath was audible. She gathered her kimono in one hand and rushed down the stairs, enveloping Kyoko in her arms.
"Kyoko-chan, you've come home! We weren't expecting you to come see us so soon after we visited Tokyo- Fuwa, Fuwa! Kyoko-chan is home!" She held Kyoko at arm's length, her hand patting Kyoko's hair tenderly. "Come, come inside, of course we have a room. Or two?" She glanced from Kyoko to Ren meaningfully, drawing a blush from both of their faces.
"Two-" Ren said.
"One-" Kyoko said.
The pair looked at one another, flustered.
"One-" Ren corrected himself.
"Two, two-" Kyoko stammered.
The Okami tittered, covering her mouth with her hand. "One it is," she said. A soft sigh raised her shoulders, her eyes distant for a moment. "Kyoko-chan," she said as she pulled out the register book, turning the thick white pages slowly, drawing out a long pause before continuing. "No, nevermind." Her smile was brief and tinged with sadness. She turned the book to them, gesturing for them to fill in their personal information.
Kyoko 's mouth twisted in silent thanks for her reserve. She knew the Okami had long wished for her to marry her son; their conversation during the Fuwas' trip to Tokyo had centered around Shotaro's indecent behavior and a seemingly unending chorus of interchanged apologies between the three. Kyoko for fleeing without word; Fuwa-san for raising such a son; Okami-san for pressuring Kyoko too much and leaving her without a "mother" to turn to. Kyoko still flushed at the thought of Okami-san wanting to fill such a role for her. She had done enough, being willing to take in the burden of an unwanted child. It was Kyoko who would be unable to repay their kindness.
Her hands suddenly itched to help around the ryokan. She could see a single setting of dishes in the dining room waiting to be cleared and taken to the kitchen. She would just-
The Okami-san's hand chopped the air between her and the dining room. "You will not." Her tone was disapproving, her face stern. "I have a good-for-nothing paid employee who will. You- Kyoko-chan, you will enjoy this ryokan for the place of rest it is meant to be."
A male voice from behind the pair completed her thought. "And as it should have been, long ago for you." Kyoko whirled to see Fuwa-san emerging from the kitchen, wiping his hands on his pristine chef's apron, a genuine smile emblazoned on his stern face.
"Fuwa-san," she said, bowing.
"Please, no need for formalities. We are family," he said, his hand pressing on Kyoko's shoulder to raise her. "And this is…?"
"Fuwa-san, Okami-san, this is Tsuruga Ren," she stopped, waiting for the intense reaction typical when people heard his stage name. None came. She continued, somewhat confused. "My boyfriend." The pair reacted then, their eyes widening and faces splitting in two with excited smiles.
"Boyfriend-" Fuwa-san began.
"One room!" Okami-san shouted. She covered her mouth with her hands after the uncharacteristic outburst.
"One room?" Fuwa-san echoed, his eyebrow arching.
Ren had the grace to look abashed. "Two rooms is acceptable," he said in his perfect gentleman's voice.
"Nonsense," Okami-san said, giving her husband a meaningful look. She turned, her chin set firmly, and led the pair up the stairs. Kyoko bit her lip to keep from smiling at the heartwarming interplay between the Fuwas. Their concern for her made her feel more truly at home than any words of welcome.
The stairs creaked underfoot in the exact same places; third step, right side, seventh step, middle front, last til the top, right side again. She could avoid each and ascend noiselessly, but chose instead to step firmly on each spot. She wanted the old inn to know in its bones she had returned. Ren followed behind her on the narrow steps, his weight making louder creaks that tickled her ears pleasantly.
The Okami-san gently pulled back the sliding door to their room, bending in a short bow as they stepped inside.
"I hope you'll truly relax, Kyoko-chan. If you need anything, I'll be downstairs helping Fuwa-san. The pantry is open for you— and I believe the onsen is completely empty if you would like to soak after your journey." She caught Kyoko's blushing glance at Ren and smiled, sighing again. Kyoko couldn't quite catch the words she mumbled as she slid their door shut, but she could have sworn it was along the lines of, "How did I raise an idiot?"
Ren's brilliant smile proved he'd heard her too, and the pair burst into laughter.
