Bellatrix wanted to blast something. Anything. Goddammit, she was stifled in this goddamn manor with all the goddamn gloominess and the goddamn Lestranges breathing her goddamn air. She wished she was back at Hogwarts. At least there she could use magic and practice dueling. She had missed the dueling tournament because of her and Narcissa's early departure and Lucius had informed her that Rodolphus's team had beat them in her absence. If she had been there, that wouldn't have happened. She was the best dueler in the school and she knew it. Goddammit. If she could just bloody well use magic, she'd show Lestrange right now. Beat off his concern. She didn't need his concern. She didn't need his sympathy. She needed to fight.

Bellatrix went through the motions of all of her stances on the field with Narcissa sitting on the steps watching her. Usually, there'd be a look of awe in Narcissa's eyes when she watched Bellatrix train, but today there seemed to be other things weighing on the little girl's mind. She held a wand-like stick firmly in her hand and stretched and gave as if she was facing a real opponent. It was nowhere near the same thing as actually dueling, but it felt to keep her body in motion. She felt herself relaxing with every stretch.

She needed to get out. She needed to do something. Most importantly of all, she needed Rodolphus to not be here. Everywhere she turned, there he was, in her living room, in her dining room, walking across her lawn. And each time, he would look at her with such pity in his eyes, such concerns. He wanted to fix her. That's what she hated most of all. He looked at her like he could fix her, like he could say the right things and all of a sudden, it wouldn't matter any more. The pain from Andi would be gone. The anger she was feeling would be gone. She'd be happy and she'd be his again. She felt bile rising in her throat thinking about this. She had worked hard for this anger. It was hers. As much as her arm or her throat or her body, this anger belonged to hers. She wasn't willing to part with it.

And she wasn't something that needed fixing.

And she didn't want Rodolphus to be the one to put her back together.

She regretted now turning to Rodolphus that day in Hogsmeade. She regretted the tears she had let him see. Those were her tears, her moment of weakness. He didn't deserve to be a part of it. Rodolphus Lestrange was a distraction. That's what he had always been. At times, a fun distraction. She had enjoyed him a few times and it was fun. But those times were back then. She couldn't focus on him right now. She had more important things to think about. She'd ignore him altogether if she didn't feel the cold eyes of her father watching their interactions carefully.

Bellatrix trains until she's close to exhaustion, pained to even lift her arm anymore. "Come here, little monkey," she says, holding a hand out for Narcissa. "Let's go get some breakfast."

The little girl stands and goes to take Bellatrix's hand, her grip less tight than it had been before. Maybe she was coming out of it. Maybe in a little bit Narcissa would actually be alright again. Bellatrix hoped so. Nothing pained her more than seeing Narcissa so withdrawn and quiet.

She leads Narcissa into the house and joins the Lestranges brothers at the table. Rabastan looked sulky at the end of the table, stabbing various fruits with his fork. He was a little shit, Bellatrix decided. A spoiled boy who had grown up being given everything and now, when he's finally had the first thing in his life being denied him, he was acting like an entitled little prick. He didn't care that the Blacks were going through a family tragedy. He was just unhappy that he had been denied his little toy.

Bellatrix let out a long breath. She was projecting her anger and she knew it. It's just that she felt so trapped. So claustrophobic. She couldn't get a good perspective like this, not when she was trapped like a bird in a cage. Maybe neither of the Lestranges deserved her anger. Maybe Rodolphus was just trying to help her. Maybe this, maybe that, she didn't give a shit. She just wanted to get out, get gone, leave it all behind her.

"Hey, Bella," Rodolphus says after breakfast. "Want to play a game of chess?" He looked at her so hopeful that Bellatrix resisted shutting him down. Her father was in earshot as well, watching their exchange out of his peripheral.

"Sure, Rods," she says, trying to make her voice sound less gruff than she felt. She turns to Narcissa. "How about you show Rabs the grounds, Cissy? Show him the lake, even."

Narcissa nods reluctantly and stands up. "It's down this way," she says softly to Rabastan and the two make their way out of the room.

Bellatrix quietly follows Rodolphus into the living room and helps as he sets out a chess board.

"Rabs has stopped playing with me," Rodolphus prattles. "Given up hope completely that he'll beat me. But since you're my girlfriend, I promise to show some mercy to you. Maybe even let you come close to winning one or twice, just to help with your self esteem."

Bellatrix rolls her eyes and sits down. "Just set up the board, Lestrange," she says. "Really, the ego on you Lestrange boys. Bragging about winning at chess… That's not much of an accomplishment."

"You say that now," he says. "But just wait until I beat you a dozen times in a row. Your doubt has harden my heart. I will no longer show mercy to you. Prepare for a bloodbath."

Just relax, Bellatrix found herself thinking. Just relax. Maybe this will take your mind off of it all for a while. Maybe you'll even forget about Andi for a minute or two. You can forgive Rodolphus enough to play a few rounds of chess with him. And then maybe he'll stop looking at you with those puppy-dog eyes.