10:
The hour came and went.
"He's supposed to be here by now," I swore under my breath.
I kicked the ground with my toes. I shifted my weight to my left leg because the right had almost gone numb. I had been waiting and pacing and looking downright stupid waiting for Roman to come and pick me up.
Every time I heard a noise, I thought it was Seth or one of his harem coming back to harass me. I half-expected them to kidnap me and drag me back to the house or shoot me from the porch and they could claim later that they thought I was the chupacabra or something. As the minutes passed by, my imagination was getting the best of me and I started to think I was actually seeing people between the trees around the ranch house.
My cell phone rang and I jumped. It slipped out of my pocket and landed in a mound of dirt I had been modeling with the toes of my boots. I practically attacked the lit up screen trying to get it back to my face and answered it without looking to see who it was.
"OHMYGODWHEREAREYOU?!" I shrieked into the receiver.
There was a pause.
I realized I was kind of panting into the phone like some sort of perv. I held the phone away from my mouth a bit and asked again, "Where are you? I've been waiting!"
Could I be any more erratic?
"Where are you?" Dean demanded to know.
The shock from hearing his voice almost made me drop the phone again. I clenched it to my face and covered the receiver as if someone might overhear us. I whispered while I glanced around, "I'm waiting for a ride home. I'll be back, soon."
"A ride? From where? With whom?" Dean asked, his tone unusually serious.
"It doesn't matter! I'll be home soon!" I argued, ending the call.
He immediately called back. I answered it and said, "I'm sorry, I hit the wrong button."
"Liar! Are you drunk?!" Dean shot back.
"Why does everyone think I'm drunk? Of course I'm not drunk!" I countered defensively.
Dean put two and two together and argued back, "Everyone? Who is everyone?"
I sighed with frustration and told him, "Don't get your panties in a bunch! I'll be home, soon! I love you!"
I actually didn't realize what I said until I ended the call for the second time.
I kicked myself in the shins for being so stupid. I was going to tell Dean I loved him in some awesome, totally life-altering moment so he knew I meant it and I could gush about it to Sasha, later. Now, I had ruined the perfect moment by blurting it out over the phone in the dark while waiting to be picked up by another guy with a cult group spying on me from their murder ranch house.
My phone went off, again. Dean was calling for the third time. I let it go to voicemail. I was too mortified to talk to him.
I saw two beams of light in the distance. I tensed up as a big black truck came up over the hill and rounded the bend. I didn't dare move until I was sure that it was Roman. The truck parked in front of me and the passenger door popped open. I peeked inside and saw that Roman had opened it for me. He stood up straight and rested his palms on the steering wheel. His hair was wet and his clothes were a little damp like he had taken a quick shower but didn't have time to dry off. I noticed after I got in that he was driving in his bare feet.
"You didn't have to shower," I said.
"Seat-belt," he replied, pointing by the door.
I reached around for it. Roman leaned forward and took a look at the ranch house. I became alarmed, wondering if Seth or someone had come outside. I stared out the window along with Roman, but I could only see one of the black labs passing by.
I didn't realize I had been staring for a while until Roman reached around my front to take the latch of my seat-belt. He pulled it down and I heard it securely click into place. An odd thought popped into my mind as I suddenly realized that Roman's hands were wide enough to cover the entire circumference of my breasts.
An image came into my mind of me naked in front of my science class and Roman using his hands to conceal my chest from further gawking.
It was totally ridiculous, but I could still feel my cheeks getting hot. Roman must've noticed, because he cleared his throat and said politely, "I thought you were having trouble with the belt. It doesn't always give enough clearance."
"No, no, it's fine, it's cool," I just kept shaking my head like I was short-circuiting.
Roman leaned forward again and glanced out my window once more. I glanced out along with him, but I still couldn't see much. I had no idea what had caught his interest.
He cleared his throat again and asked, "You cold?"
Roman reached for the buttons and dials for the air conditioning. I hadn't even noticed until that moment that he had the cool air on full blast and it was pretty icy inside.
"No, I'm fine," I said, but I clutched my elbows anyway.
I really didn't think I was that cold until Roman turned the air down. I could see the digital letters and bars on his stereo indicating he had been listening to the radio on his way to see me. He had turned the dial down all the way and he turned it back up a bit before he shifted the truck into gear.
He was listening to a rock band I didn't recognize. The lyrics were a blend of some screaming and some nice vocals. I didn't mind it and I was glad that Roman hadn't turned it up too loud.
We went back down the hill. It was silent for a while. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I knew it was Dean. He was trying to text me.
"Someone know you're out here?" Roman asked, pointing at my phone lighting up through the fabric of my dress.
"It's just Dean. He wanted to know when I'll be home," I answered.
"I should've waited to shower," Roman mumbled as if to himself, adding as he glanced at me, "I came home from practice and fell asleep. I didn't want you to have to put up with that kind of stink."
I snorted laughter. Roman beamed like he considered it an achievement that I was smiling instead of yelling. It made me realize that I was usually quite rude to him. I felt a little guilty.
"Well, you smell very good, now," I said, and I meant it.
Roman grinned once more. The truck rumbled and bounced until we made it to the main road. We were on our way home and I would be able to talk to Dean within the hour.
There was a space of silence, again. Roman was watching the road but his brow would furrow from time to time like he was trying to come up with something to talk about. The rock songs changed to different band members as the radio host said their names and sometimes spouted off his personal opinions about their contributions and validity to the genre of rock music. Once in a while, the host would use the f-word. I didn't have to look at Roman to know that he was worried it was making me uncomfortable.
The host dropped another f-bomb and Roman turned the dial all the way down. He asked me in a rushed, airy voice, "So, no Seth, huh?"
"What?" I asked, surprised by the change from the host's voice to his.
"I thought Seth would be there, you know? It used to be his home and all," Roman clarified.
"Oh, right," I nodded and added quietly, "I thought so, too. I bought a bus ticket and everything just to get out here-"
"I could've given you a ride," Roman interrupted.
I looked at him. He glanced at me and went on with a shrug, "If you had called me earlier, I would've gone out here with you."
"Thank you, I appreciate that," I said, unsure of how else to respond.
Roman shrugged again and said, "I mean, it's not a safe place to be, you know, at night and all."
"Yeah, I guess I didn't think it through," I replied, feeling sheepish.
"And I don't know much about Seth's family or nothin'," Roman rambled on, "But I hope they treated you alright, seeing as you were looking for their loved one and all."
"Loved one," I repeated.
Roman turned to face me for a second. He seemed determined not to take his eyes from the road for any long space of time, which I appreciated. He put his eyes back where they needed to be as he explained, "You know, because his dad lives there and the people there are like, his family and all."
I hadn't considered that.
"You're right, I guess they are his family," I said.
"That's where I'd be. With family, I mean," Roman replied.
I suddenly started sobbing uncontrollably. Roman swerved over to the side of the road and parked the truck. He turned to face me and said, "I apologize, I didn't mean it to upset you!"
"No, you didn't! I was just thinking about...his family...he has a family...and it's not...it's not...meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" I wailed.
"Oh, geez..." Roman mumbled to himself over and over, again.
I popped my seat-belt open and I leaned to one side so I could put my head on Roman's shoulder. He set there, tense and confused, for the time it took me to expel enough sadness to recompose myself and put my seat-belt back on.
"I'm sorry, I just...it's been a really long night..." I sat up, wiping the tears from my eyes.
"No, I really," Roman was shaking his head, "I really shouldn't have said anything."
"No! You were right in what you said. It does make sense that those people are Seth's family! You know they call him Master Colby?! That's his real name, and I didn't even know it!"
"His first name is Master?" Roman was confused.
"No, his name is Colby. They just call him Master Colby out of respect or something," I replied.
"Oh," Roman was thinking again.
He put the truck back into gear and got onto the road, again. After a few minutes of silence, Roman asked, "So, you asked those people about Seth and they said that Master Colby wasn't there?"
I looked at him. Roman's ponderous ways often made people think he was a bit slow, but he was actually the kind of guy that chose his words carefully and he was smart enough to see the cracks in my story.
"Oh, yeah, I mean, I asked if Seth was there, and the lady I talked to said he wasn't. She told me that they called him Colby when he was a kid. I said that was cool. Anyway, when I called you for a ride, she said that I should let them know when 'Master Colby' showed up, again," I explained, using air quotes and a deep Southern draw on Seth's cult name to lighten the mood.
Roman nodded, but I could tell he didn't think it was very funny. I felt bad lying to him, but I knew that things would go from bad to worse if Roman figured out Seth was there and he told anyone about it.
"Maybe I should call Uncle Dwayne. He's a private investigator. He could find Seth...or Colby," Roman mentioned.
"Um...I don't think that's necessary. I mean, it's very nice of you to offer, but I'm starting to think that Seth doesn't want to be found..." I was scrambling to think of what else to say.
"I'll give him a call, anyway. He might be busy but I'm sure he'd check it out if I explained that Seth is just a teen and all," Roman replied.
"You know, he's probably dead," I blurted out.
Roman slowed the truck down. He was about to pull over again after I had given him yet another shock. I hoped he didn't have heart problems.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. What I mean is, he's known for taking off for periods of time and he always comes back. Everyone has been telling me that, and I just wouldn't listen..." I rolled my eyes.
"That's why I want to talk to my uncle. I know it means a lot to you to find him," Roman said.
"It does, but I just...I thought I'd give it a little time, you know? Maybe Seth just wants some time," I knew I sounded more and more suspicious with each word.
"What made him leave in the first place?" Roman asked, catching me off-guard.
I didn't know what to say. Roman glanced at me again and added, "I mean, if you don't mind me asking.
"He was, um...he and Dean got in a fight...about me..." I started.
Roman's jaw set. He looked like he was trying to hold back something he really wanted to say. I explained further, "What I mean is that Seth was kind of...overstepping some boundaries. He wasn't like, hurting me or anything, he was just...he was...anyway, Dean told him he needed to grow up and stay in his own room and Seth didn't like that."
I realized too late that I had said too much.
Roman had already made it known to me that he knew Seth slept in my bed, and I had yelled at him because he had the wrong idea about what that meant. He still had the wrong idea, but I couldn't yell at him this time because I was the one who gave it to him.
"It's not what you're thinking! I'm not having sex with Seth!" I shouted.
"It's your business, you know," Roman shrugged, but he sounded a little disappointed.
I could feel my anger starting to rise again. I told him outright, "You don't know what's really going on, okay?! The stuff that Seth told everybody at school about me, it isn't even true! I'm still a virgin, for Chris'sake!"
Today must be foot-in-mouth day.
Roman shifted uncomfortably in his seat. The silence was horribly awkward. I swallowed hard and tried to start again, "Seth is a drunk. You know that. Everybody knows that. He has his own room in the house, but he had a habit of going into my room and passing out on my floor. Sometimes, he would pass out in my bed, but mostly, he was on the floor. If he was on the floor, I would sleep in my bed. If he was in my bed, I would sleep on the couch in the living room. It hadn't really bothered me for a long time, but it was starting to become a problem now that we're getting older, and Dean made the comment that it was kind of creepy. Anyway, Dean told Seth that he needed to sleep in his own room, and Seth left. That's it. That's all of the story."
"I see," Roman nodded.
He was quiet again. I could sense that his impression of me had changed a bit. He wasn't so much disappointed as more laid back about things, like some air of mystery he had seen around me had been lifted and he was seeing me in a different light. I could sense that he was glad to know the truth, but he wasn't exactly content with the mystery going away so completely.
Maybe the intrigue was a turn-on.
:-:
"I'm sorry," Roman said when we were getting closer to my house.
"For what?" I asked.
"The rumors about you at school, I shouldn't have...I know better than to listen to the gossip," Roman left it at that.
He said nothing more until we reached the house. I could see Dean standing on the lawn with his cell phone in one hand and his other hand clenched in a fist. He didn't move but watched as I got out of Roman's truck and thanked him again for giving me a lift home. Roman said good-bye to me and gave Dean a quick nod.
I closed the passenger door in case Dean tried to lunge or curse at Roman. Dean remained where he was, looking dramatically defiant in his black tank top, tattered jeans and snake skin boots. Dean was sweating from the humidity and his hair was kind of clumped around his forehead. He looked oddly sexy that way. Roman put his truck into gear and waved once more before he drove away. He was trying to wave at both of us. I was the only one who waved back.
I turned to face Dean. He didn't look back at me. He fixated on a tree in the distance as he said coldly, "You left."
"I didn't leave! Uncle Johnny knew-"
"You left! You fucking left and you didn't have the decency to fucking text me you'd be gone!" Dean spat.
He was so angry.
