Their morning at the beach was wonderful. They had gone to a more secluded, calmer beach where Elena sat in the shade and watched Max have fun. Happy played the typical dad with a portable barbecue and an endless supply of beers. He had shed his usual jeans, t-shirt and kutte for a pair of old basketball shorts and a wife-beater. Alex was chasing Max and Grumpy around, splashing about in the salty water, wearing a tiny black string bikini which Happy enjoyed, like a lot.

Alex and Max had tried their hardest to build a sandcastle together, which was promptly ruined by a grumpy grey pitbull running through it. They spent plenty of time playing in the water as Elena sat in a lawn chair and soaked her feet in the ocean. Happy had enjoyed watching his mother at the beach and enjoying herself like she did when he was younger.

Now the little family was pulling into the lot of the T-M compound, met with the smiling face of Kozik. Alex was out of the car as soon as Happy had put it in park, running across the lot and jumping into Kozik's open arms.

"Herm! I missed you so much! How was Tacoma? How's your brother?" Alex rushed out, arms strangling her best friend's neck. Kozik was chuckling and swinging them around in circles as they rejoiced in seeing each other for the first time in almost a month.

"I missed you too, Ally. Tacoma was great, Mels doing great too" Kozik smiled, face lighting up as he saw Max running towards them. He placed Alex down on the ground and squatted so he was at his godson's level. Max screamed in delight and jumped into Kozik's arms, placing a wet kiss on his cheek.

"Hey, dude! I missed ya" Koz smiled at the kid, brushing his messy hair out of his face.

"Max miss Uncle Herm" The toddler mumbled in response as Koz set him back down on his feet. Happy walked up then, flashing his friend a grin.

"We got church in 10. Wanted to see my favourite lady first" Kozik smirked, pulling Alex back into his side. Alex snuggled into her best friend's side, wrapping an arm around his waist as she listened to him tell Happy about the shit he got up to with SAMTAC.


Alex spent the day at the compound with Max and Grumpy. They did some work in the garage to kill time, took a nap in one of the dorms, played on the play structure, then sat on the couch for a snack.

She had heard the bikes roll in but couldn't go greet them due to being stuck underneath a snoozing pitbull and a sleepy toddler. The Sons all headed in and towards the bar, faces downtrodden. Alex's stomach filled with dread as she took a mental count of all the guys walking past her. When Happy walked in last, clutching a loose kutte, Alex felt her heart crack open. Missing was the goofy smile and messy blonde hair of her best friend. Judging by the look on Happy's face, Alex knew it was bad news.

"Where is he?" Alex whispered, pushing a sleeping Max off her body and rushing over to Happy. Happy frowned and gave her a sad look, handing her the kutte. Alex took it gratefully, holding it against her chest as her eyes filled with tears.

"It's not what you think, Al." Happy mumbled, pulling her into his chest as her body wracked with sobs. Her mind was rushing with an overload of emotions, unable to grasp that the smiling goofy man she had seen only hours ago was missing.

"What? Is he gonna be okay?" Her bottom lip trembled.

"He's in the hospital. Doctors have him in emergency surgery. Six bullets to the stomach" Alex felt a wave of nausea fill her as she imagined it. "I won't lie, little girl. It was rough. Can't promise he'll make it through"

How could a military vet have the ironic situation of being shot up in a field in Northern Cali? Happy had grabbed the kutte from her in order to wrap her arms around his waist, handing it off to Tig who was closest to them.

"I need a fuckin' drink" Alex mumbled, voice watery and filled with sniffles as she tried to regain her breathing. Alex settled for an entire bottle of tequila, wanting nothing more than to forget how she was feeling at that moment.

"Shit," Tig mumbled, pouring himself a shot. "Fuckin' Lobos."

"Yeah." Jax agreed and Alex felt another wave of tears coming on, which she drowned with a large sip from the bottle in her fist. Clay shot her a look, hesitant to start talking club business with Alex present.

"She ain't listening" Happy grumbled, voice bitter. "Still trying to grasp her best friend being in life-threatening surgery."

Clay began talking and, just as Happy said, Alex wasn't paying attention and listened only to her racing thoughts. Tig easily folded up Kozik's kutte, placing it on the bar in front of him.

"May I?" Alex mumbled, pointing to the kutte. Tig nodded, sliding it across the bar to her. Alex offered him a weak smile, placing her hand on the kutte. She fumbled around in the inner pocket, finding what she was searching for easily.

Inside was the zippo lighter that Alex had bought Kozik a few years prior for his birthday. His initials were engraved into the front and on the back was 'Love, Ally". She ran her thumb over the engraving, smiling sadly. A hand appeared in front of her face, offering her a cigarette. She accepted it and smiled gratefully at Chibs. Using Herman's lighter, Alex lit the cigarette and inhaled deeply. The rush of nicotine into her lungs acted as a nice distraction from the weight of grief settling onto her chest, drowning her.


Alex's sorrows and depressed state only lasted until the next day. When Happy woke up, he found her sitting at the kitchen table sharpening his collection of knives.

"You okay, little girl?" He mumbled, placing a mug of coffee in front of her.

"I'm so fuckin' pissed I might lose it, Hap. If I didn't already know that you got rid of those fucks, I would be out there doin' it myself" She muttered, draining the mug of coffee. Happy sighed, pulling her up from her seat.

"Can't be pissed, Al. He's out of surgery and stable" Happy mumbled into her hair, Alex tucked safely into his chest.

"If that was true, he would be home. Instead, he's stuck on a fucking ventilator to keep him breathin' cause he's so weak" she muttered bitterly

"At least he's awake" Happy's gruff voice interrupted her.

"Yeah, well, what good is that if the doctors are sayin' he can't come home for at least a month" Alex buried her face farther into Happy's chest and he felt a wet patch forming on his shirt. He held her like that until she had fully exhausted herself from the tears. With little effort, he picked her up and took her to their room. Tucking her in, he pressed a kiss to her forehead before walking to the kitchen to clean up the knives.

He pulled his cellphone from his pocket, dialling the number Alex had insisted on programming into his phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Lindy? Could you take Max today?" Happy's gruff voice asked, surprising Lindy immensely.

"Of course! Is everything okay?" her voice was worried and Happy grunted.

"It's fine. Alex is sick and needs a day" He explained briefly. Lindy agreed willingly, insisting that Happy drop Max off at her place on his way to the clubhouse.

Once Max was settled with Lindy, stuffed dog in tow, Happy made his way to the clubhouse. Pulling in, he wasn't surprised to find there were only a few bikes in the lot. The club was a bit of a mess if he was being honest. He was so not looking forward to the rest of his day.


Alex didn't emerge from her room again until the following evening. She had absolutely lost it after she got the news about Kozik and felt as if she had finally cried out all of her tears. There was no way she could afford to mentally check out for any longer. Max was acting up for Happy and Grumpy was becoming whiny.

When she came out of her room, she found a note on the fridge in Happy's uniform scrawl.

Al,

If you get out of bed and see this, eat something.

Max and I are at the clubhouse if you wanna come.

Hap.

With a sigh, Alex made herself a PB&J quickly before scarfing it down as she drove toward the clubhouse. She had paid no mind to how she looked before she left the house, dressed in a baggy pair of sweats and a hoodie that belonged to Kozik. Her hair was a mess, sticking up in every direction. Glancing in the passenger seat, she was relieved to find one of Happy's beanies sitting there. She tugged it over her hair as she pulled into the lot of the compound, parking her charger next to the family car Koz had bought for them. She couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt that Happy was stuck driving the cage around for Max because she was too busy wallowing in grief.

"Ally!" She heard Max squeal as he ran towards her, arms open wide. She plastered a fake smile on her face as she bent down to hug him.

"Hey, dude!" She tried her best to sound excited. Once she stood up again, Max slipped his little hand into hers and pulled her towards the clubhouse. She shot a grin to V-Lin who had been watching Max as he played on the swing set.

Walking into the clubhouse, Alex noticed that the church doors weren't closed yet and not everyone was inside.

"Where is everyone?" Alex asked Rat as Max climbed onto the couch with a book.

"Clay's in hospital, Ope and Piney are MIA. Everyone else is in church" Ratboy shrugged, sipping on a beer. Alex nodded, noting that Clay was in the hospital and she should probably drop in to visit him when she went to see Koz. She also noted to get the rest of the story from Happy about what was going on.

"Doors open. Think they'll mind if I head in there?" Alex whispered, suddenly very conscious of how she wasn't familiar with those unspoken rules of the club. She had never needed any of the guys while they were in church.

"Tara just went in. Gem looks like she's on her way over right now" Rat shrugged, gently pushing her towards the double doors. Alex approached Gemma before she could open the door, resting a hand on her shoulder. The older woman glanced back at Alex, who let out a sharp gasp as she saw her face.

"Oh, Gem" she whispered, pulling her into a hug. Gemma hugged back, pressing a gentle peck to Alex's cheek.

"Don't worry about me, baby" Gemma mumbled, always the mother bird. The two women stepped into the doorway, all heads immediately turning to them. Tara was standing at the head of the table, arm possessively wrapped around Jax's shoulder. As Gemma and Tara shared an intense look, Alex stepped up to Happy.

"I'm sorry for clocking out, Hap. Thank you for these past few days" Alex mumbled into his ear, forehead pressed against his temple. One of Happy's rough hands cupped her cheek and Alex knew it was his way of accepting her promise. Alex pressed a soft kiss to the snake on his scalp, one hand resting on his shoulder while the other moved to squeeze one of Tig's shoulders reassuringly. She caught Juice's look from across the table and gave him a small smile which he easily returned. For the first time in a while, Alex felt at ease with her personal and club life despite almost losing Kozik.


I won't lie, I had this written originally where Koz died and it made me big sad. Hope you liked it ;-;