This is officially the longest fic I've ever written.
For the most part, Zed did his best to stick to the request to reduce PDA at the party. However, he couldn't resist wrapping an arm around Addison's waist whenever they migrated to a new spot. He also did not hold back on stealing a kiss under the mistletoe.
That particular decision seemed to tip the balance in the room. Although it was a quick and chaste kiss, the mistletoe was clearly visible from all corners of the room.
Immediately after their kiss, Zed heard a gruff voice comment. "Aren't you worried about her swapping spit with a zombie? What if she turns into one of them?"
All the happiness of the previous moment seeped out of him, as he felt his shoulders fall forward in defeat. Naturally, the couple couldn't even share in a holiday tradition without upsetting someone.
Dale was quick to chime in, sounding exasperated. "Arthur, the Seabrook zombie virus isn't contagious, it's genetic. Zed could literally bite a hunk of her arm off and she wouldn't turn."
Zed flinched at the Chief's choice of words, not thrilled with the visual it no doubt brought to the rest of the guests. He knew it was for dramatic effect, but he'd have preferred not to have it implied that he'd bite anyone, much less the love of his life.
"Unless you were somehow able to recreate the chemical explosion for the original outbreak," Dale continued. "And I'm talking about exact conditions–down to the humidity level of the air that day and the elevation of the explosion–the only way to become a zombie is to be born from an existing bloodline."
The man who'd originally spoken–Arthur–did not seem too impressed with Dale's answer. He sneered, eyeing Zed with pointed distaste. "I'm not buying any of it. Everyone knows zombies can turn you into monsters with a single scratch!"
The idea was so preposterous that Zed couldn't contain a small burst of laughter. That, unfortunately, drew the attention of the entire room. "Oh, I'm sorry." He held up his hands in apology. "With all due respect, sir, that's ridiculous."
Missy agreed, walking over to stand by his side. "It sounds like your knowledge of zombies comes right from science fiction novels. It's a pity really, considering you're living in the only town on earth with actual zombies. It wouldn't hurt to do a little research on your own neighbors."
Dale was quick to support his wife, grinning back at her in approval. "True zombism isn't anything like what you've seen on a screen. Just look at Zed! He's not stumbling around a glacial pace, moaning about brains with his arms outstretched."
Addison laughed, tugging her boyfriend closer to her side. "That wouldn't be great for your football career, huh Zed?"
He shook his head, relieved with the turn the conversation was taking. "Yeah, I don't think the coach would be very impressed."
"Even without the z-band," Dale explained. "Zombies are quicker than humans. Not to mention, their bodies behave much like normal humans. They age, have children and aren't actively decomposing like the movies portray."
Zed couldn't hold back the noise of disgust that bubbled up in his throat at the last comment. "I hate that stereotype...we're undead, not dead."
At this point in the conversation, Arthur looked livid. His cheeks were bright red with embarrassment and his knuckles were white where he clenched them on the sides of his chair.
He opened his mouth to speak and was immediately cut off by Missy. "So, to address your earlier concern, Arthur...Addison has as much of a chance of 'catching zombism' from Zed as your wife does catching your poor eyesight and terrible manners."
"Burn!"
"Bucky!" A woman's voice scolded.
–––––––––––
"So, still sure you want to hang around this family?" Bucky asked hours later, sprawling out along the couch. "Have they scared you off yet?"
He, Addison and Zed had retreated from the main group, slipping down into the basement.
Addison and Zed were sharing a too-small recliner, with Addison laying half in his lap. Zed was absentmindedly playing with the ends of her braid, twirling the white strands around his fingers.
"I don't scare easily."
Addison snorted, the sound muffled against his chest.
"My cousin doesn't seem to agree."
Addison shifted, sitting upright and arching an eyebrow at Zed. "Every time someone comes up behind you, you jump."
"Hey!" He protested "I never hear you coming – it's not nice to sneak up on people!"
She shook her head, resisting the urge to roll her eyes as she muttered a response. "An elephant could sneak up on you, Zed."
Bucky laughed as Zed let out an indignant noise. "Well, I gotta say, I'm impressed, zombie. You've survived three hours and no one's gone for the torches and pitchforks or even called Z-Patrol."
Zed shrugged. He was grateful nothing too confrontational had happened, but it had taken considerable effort to accomplish that. He'd spend the majority of the evening avoiding the high risk members of Addison's family, and refusing to be left alone with any of the relatives – sticking to Addison, Missy, Dale and Bucky like glue.
"He's a charmer," Addison grinned, snuggling up to him.
Bucky snorted. "Debatable. I must say, though, watching Arthur get completely roasted by Aunt Missy and Uncle Dale was the highlight of my night."
Zed couldn't deny that he'd loved that moment as well. There was something especially satisfying about watching someone so ignorant and unkind face backlash from experts. He was grateful that Addison's father's job required him to be well-informed on the scientific facts regarding the zombie condition.
He was also relieved he hadn't needed to be the one to explain things to them. Especially because he doubted they'd listen to anything he had to say, despite his first-hand knowledge of the subject.
"Serves that idiot right," Addison murmured slowly, eyes drooping as she rested against his side.
Zed nodded his silent agreement. After a few moments of quiet, Zed heard Addison's breathing change, becoming heavier and slower. A quick glance confirmed that she'd fallen asleep beside him.
Despite the pins and needles building in his arm as it fell asleep, Zed resolved not to move until she woke.
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