Hi everyone,
So, like the rest of the world, my family and I are confined to our house for the next month in the hope of escaping and eradicating Covid-19! I'm not set up to work from home, so there's not really much else for me to do - except write. Great for escapism! And for a short time, it helps me to forget all this is going on. I hope you are all keeping sane and safe during this insane time.
Reply to guest: Oh yes, definitely jealousy. Beth would be crushed if Electa bedded William! And Electa would definitely have given William a go or two, hehe! But she'll respect Beth's request :-) The rest of your questions are answered in this chapter :-)
It's short and in no way perfect, but it furthers the plot a little - so without further ado, here's the next chapter! :-)
Chapter 148 - No Right to Act the Martyr:
Astride Thunder, William trotted along a beaten path, winding his way through the Legion's soldiers. The men gave way as soon as they saw him coming - like an ocean parting just for him, then closing in behind him - he barely had to break stride despite the density of soldiers.
Ahead, he spied Harmony, speaking with an older rank and file soldier. The fellow stood before her with his mouth wide open and she appeared to be peering inside that gaping maul. She drew back and spoke to the fellow, though William was still too far to hear her words. She handed him something - likely some herbs of some sort, and the soldier tipped his hat and walked away. When he was closer, William dismounted.
"I hope they're paying you for your advice," he said as he came along side of her. She cocked her head and grinned.
"So you acknowledge that I'm providing a much needed service? You're their leader, perhaps you should be paying me," she said. William laughed softly. "As a camp follower, I do get a wage. But perhaps you'd care to increase it?"
"Whatever you need, you have but to ask, I am at your disposal," he said, proffering a bow. She grunted as they fell in beside each other, William leading Thunder by the reins. He saw Harmony grimace and place her hand over her distended stomach. "Is something amiss?"
"No. I've been having aches is all. Everything is fine."
"Are you sure?"
"And here you were, offering to pay me for my doctoring services. Of course I'm sure," she grimaced again and rubbed her stomach as if she wasn't even aware of doing it. "It won't be long now, before it starts."
"I could send for Mrs. Andrews?" He said and when she gave him an exasperated look, he continued, "or does your doctoring knowledge mean you'll be your own midwife?"
"Of course not. But haven't you heard?" She asked him.
"Heard what?"
"Linda has gone into labour, William. Mrs. Andrews is tending her," she pointed over the sea of soldiers toward the covered wagons. "They've made space for her on one of the wagons."
William glared at the wagons as if suddenly offended by them. He could guess which wagon it was, now he had this information. Linda and Cox were guarded with at least six soldiers at all times and he could see a wagon with three soldiers on each side keeping slow pace with it. "My child, born on the back of wagon." He tightened his lips.
"Don't be too high and mighty about it - Jesus was born in a stable, after all. If a stable is good enough for the Almighty's Son, then a wagon should be good enough for yours."
William snorted.
"So. I heard Putman got away?" Harmony asked, tension in her voice. "Did Calvin get captured at least? Or better yet, was he killed? Or wounded… At least he might die of those. No?" William had been shaking his head from the moment she began asking.
"I regret to inform you that no, Farshaw and Putman both got away, as did about ten others. Forty were captured or killed, but Farshaw and Putman were not among them - I took especial care to enquire."
"Damn and blast it," Harmony said. "When you told me that Putman was finally trying to put his plan in action, I'd hoped that this would be the end of it all."
"Me too," William said. "I was certain Simcoe would do a thorough job of it but it was not to be. I had a message from O'Hara yesterday to inform me of the outcome, I sent back immediately to discover if Putman and Farshaw were among the dead or captured. It took a while to be certain but this morning I found out that no, we were not so lucky. The only person who is happy about the outcome, is Cilla."
"I can't fault her that," Harmony said. "She was beside herself when she found out that Simcoe was going after her father. So soon after losing her mother, she can't bear to lose him also."
"Her father is stark raving mad, Harmony. Putting him down would be a kindness."
"Yes, I'm certain Cilla will look at it that way," Harmony scoffed. "Is that what you came to tell me? That my husband, who I was praying would be dead by now, has slipped the net yet again? That the Almighty Above wasn't listening to me, after all? Three days of praying, William. All for nothing."
"We'll get him in the end," William said grimly. "That was one reason I came. The other - Harm, Beth said something strange the other day. I made mention to her about Thomas returning Thunder to me -"
"And she called you a Gods cursed fool, for thinking it. Yes, she told me."
"If she told you that, then she would have told you the rest. If Thunder did not come here through Beth's brothers, how is he here?"
"How many days has Beth been here for, William? Four, five? And in that time, you've never questioned her about why she left Banastre, have you?"
William's face turned to stone.
"Don't give me that muley expression. You asked how Thunder is here, and the answer is tied to Beth leaving Banastre. Do you want to hear it, or not?"
William drew a shuddering breath, then gave Harmony a curt nod.
"Very well. There was tension between them for some time, because Beth had revealed to Banastre that he wasn't the father of the child," she made a deliberate point of beginning with this, while ignoring his thunderous expression. He had asked, and she would answer - she would tell him all of it. "So yes, they were already on the rocks, the tension had been building but on the day of the battle - that big one with Burwell, at the Cowpens - it reached a head. You see, one of the men who helped Beth to get away was one of Martin's spies. He was in the Quarter Master's tent and when a package filled with correspondence arrived from Fresh Water for Beth, he made certain she knew of its existence…"
It was hours later and pitch black outside, William lay on his cot, Harmony's words still thundering through his head. Banastre, burning Beth's letters and keeping back the money William had sent her. A gilded cage of lies, Beth had called it. Her attempt to leave him with her father's spies, only to be told that Shadow Dancer was gone. Banastre, riding in on Thunder and announcing that Shadow Dancer was dead. Lies and betrayal. It was what Beth deserved for leaving William, but she would have left Banastre months ago, she would not have continued to wallow in that sordid affair, if not for that. Which was why Banastre held back the letters - he couldn't risk losing his hold over his mistress. It was over between them the moment she discovered the letters, which - like a curtain lifting - had revealed to her the truth. And then there was the lengths she'd gone to, to ensure Thunder never left her sight.
Beth was alone next door, her women had retired and so had Beth. William squeezed his eyes shut, his arm over his face. Still he couldn't stop the onslaught - everything Harmony had told him. Beth not allowing anyone near Thunder, even having a screaming match with some pompous Ensign that tried to take him. It was because of her that Thunder was again with William, for when she snuck out of Banastre's camp that night, she'd bought Thunder out with her. Thomas hadn't handed Thunder over to her when he met her at Burwell's camp as William and initially assumed. Banastre had had Thunder from the moment he'd captured Benjamin, and when she fled, Beth had been damned determined that the horse would not be left behind.
Gods curse fool indeed.
That's precisely what he was, he knew it even as he pushed off the covers and lurched to his feet. He jerked back the partition - Beth wasn't in bed yet as he'd thought, she was sitting at the small table, a quill in her hand, drawing by candlelight. She jerked her head up, startled by his sudden appearance - he hadn't tried to be in her company since she arrived all those days ago. Now, he couldn't keep himself away. He was a man drowning and she was his salvation. His air. His life. In two strides he was across the tent and he pulled her to her feet, and before she could speak, he kissed her. For several devastating heartbeats his lips moved over hers, he groaned, it felt like salvation, holding her again.
But before long, sense returned and disgusted by his own weakness, he released her. Shrugging off her attempt to seize his arm, he stormed back to his side of the tent and to the sound of Beth's weeping, he quickly began to get dressed.
William sat across from Richard in the Major's tent, candlelight flickering across both their faces. Cilla was absent, off helping Harmony with the birthing of Richard's bastard. Richard's skin was stretched like tight leather across his features, he was taut with worry for his former mistress and their child. He could not be there for her, as she did not want him there. And now here was William, adding to Richard's burdens.
"Why?" Richard breathed. "If you do this, this will be the end. Martin's Reverend has likely already drawn up the annulment for you to sign and you won't be allowed to leave Beth at the Ferguson's without signing it, Martin has made that very clear."
"I am aware of that," William said. His hands were clasped tightly on the table to stop the shaking, he stared down at them, unable to meet Richard's eyes.
"I married you to her."
"Richard -"
"For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish. To death do you part. You both agreed to it, William."
"I hadn't realised you'd take this so personally," William frowned. "This is difficult enough, Richard."
"William, I was there. I presided over your wedding. And I bore witness to it when you repeated those very same vows, before Reverend Fuller. William -"
"She broke her vows," William argued and Richard snapped his mouth shut. "For months, she was in his bed. And she only left him because she was finally able to read Cilla and Harmony's letters, explaining the truth. I told her the truth, Richard, and still she left me."
"Shh, keep your voice down," Richard said and it was only then that William realised he'd raised it. He swallowed hard and tightened his lips.
"It isn't enough," he said softly. "Her leaving Banastre and bringing Thunder with her isn't enough. She wasn't coming here to me, she was trying to reach her Aunt, which means she would have taken Thunder there, to wherever Mrs. Selton is. Even learning the truth, she wasn't coming back to me. Her father forced her to that. I was on the precipice of forgiving her tonight -" he cut short, falling silent. Richard waited him out, as silent as the grave as he poured whiskey into two small cups. William accepted his gratefully. How could he confess to Richard how weak he was? To give in to his feelings so easily, just because Beth had brought Thunder back? She was with William because her father had forced her to be with him, and Thunder had been given back to him because the horse had just happened to be with her at the time. She hadn't made any especial sacrifice in coming to him or in bringing Thunder to him. She hadn't chosen William over Banastre. When she'd set out from Banastre's camp, she'd chosen a life without either of them.
"Martin said that if you do this, you forfeit all rights to her; to her fortune. You'll have to pay back every penny you've spent -"
"I haven't spent much," William shrugged.
"And that you forfeit your legal right to the child," Richard finished, ignoring the interruption.
"No one can enforce that," William said ruefully. "The rest, yes. But not that. If the child is mine, it'll still be mine regardless. If I choose to have the raising of it, then neither Martin or the reverend can prevent me taking it."
"You'll punish Beth the same way you're going to punish Linda?"
"The whipping will be Linda's punishment," William said harshly. "My removing my child from Linda is for its salvation, its protection."
"And your child needs protecting from Beth?"
"Beth's child isn't mine, Richard."
"Everyone else says it is," Richard said. Then he spread his hands as if in surrender, when William's face darkened. "If your mind is set…" he said, trailing off. Then there was no point in trying to convince William otherwise. William nodded once, it was set.
"I am taking her to the Ferguson's tomorrow," he said. "The house is a mile or two from here; I'll never be this close again. If it's to be done, it needs to be done now."
"If?"
"Figure of speech only. I am taking two score of Dragoons, the trip there and back will only take an hour, at most."
"You're right, if it's to be done, it must be now," Richard agreed and William arched his eyebrows. "Is Mrs. Ferguson there? Mary, Colin's wife?"
"I believe so."
"I think… I wonder - they've obviously agreed to take Beth in, do you think they will take Cilla in, also? Mrs. Ferguson wouldn't let them turn her away, surely? And Harmony and the baby."
"What?" William gasped, stunned.
"It's not safe here, William. It'll be weeks before we see the end of winter and even longer before the weather gets warmer. My son - or my daughter - will be outside, exposed to the elements, in the meantime. How am I supposed to keep him warm? Mrs. Andrews and Mrs. Garland have both been encouraging me to make Harmony stay someplace warm and dry, they told me that my child could die if I don't."
William nodded slowly, understanding.
"And we'll be moving much faster now that Cornwallis has commanded us to burn the carriages with the baggage. We've got rebels nipping at our heels - constant skirmishes to harass us. Mr. Jutland has approached me, he is as worried for Harmony and the baby as I am. It's far more dangerous for her than any of us imagined."
"Harmony agreed to nurse my child, Richard," William said.
"So we take your baby too, as soon as they are born. Do you think your child is any safer than mine is going to be? Mrs. Andrews' warning would apply to you, as well."
"Yes," William agreed. "And it will look less like I'm setting Beth aside, if Cilla and Harmony are to go with her. But what of Putman? He's still out there."
"He was no less a risk to you five minutes ago, when you were taking Beth on her own," Richard pointed out. "Besides, his force has been decimated - Simcoe said that he got away with barely ten men. And when the women are at the Fergusons' - well, Colin was one of our own men. Even retired from the Dragoons, he's not likely to advertise to Putman that the women are there."
"Very well. Will Cilla protest leaving you?"
"Almost certainly. But she'll also want to be where Beth and Harmony are, and I want her where she is safest, so protest or not, she is leaving. It's the Ferguson's I'm worried about - will they have enough room for all the women, and two newborn babies?"
"They'll have to make room," William said. He drank back his whiskey, hissed through his teeth as it burned down his throat and stomach. He set the cup down and rose. "I'm going to tell Beth."
"Jesus, William," Richard ran a hand over his head. Resigned, he rose and said, "I'm going to send for George and Hamish."
They stepped outside and parted ways, Richard to inform Harmony's father and brother of the decision, and William to inform Beth. He stepped into his tent and stood there, staring at the partition, unable to move toward it. A trembling seized him, his heart pounded and a cold sweat broke out across his forehead and down his spine.
Weak, he thought, chiding himself again. He was saved from approaching by Beth herself, who lifted the partition and stood there in her robe, gazing up at him. Her cheeks were wet with tears, her eyes big and pleading, her misery tearing at his heart and his soul.
Weak, he growled to himself, firming his resolve.
"Tomorrow, you will go to the Ferguson's," he said. Her eyes bulged and she made a desolate sound that no husband wanted to hear.
Then again, he had just declared he was no longer her husband. Still, he had no desire to hear it and without a backward glance, he strode from the tent and into the darkness.
Harmony's tent was awash with light, candles and lanterns on every surface. This was not the tent she normally slept in - it was the one Richard had provided as soon as he realised she was in labour. The command tent, as large as William's, with enough room for her to walk around in. Which is what she was doing now, as William came in. Pacing, like a caged lion, not seeming to know what to do with herself. Cilla, William saw, was no where to be seen. Mrs. Garland was there, however, sitting patiently and knitting of all things.
"Have you checked in on Linda?" Harmony snapped by way of greeting. William frowned.
"This is why men are not allowed in the birthing chamber," Mrs. Garland said calmly. "The pain makes us so surly, men can not bear to be around us."
"Harmony is often surly," William said. "Is there anything I can do?" He asked Harmony.
"Don't be bloody daft," she said. "I wanted Mrs. Andrews. No offence," she said to Mrs. Garland, who shrugged. "But for months now, I thought she would be here, she is my damned midwife. Mrs. Garland, I do trust you, I do. But -"
"But Mrs. Andrews was supposed to be by your side - a woman you know. Now you're stuck with a woman you've barely met. I understand quite well, Mrs. Farshaw. I can but reassure you that I will do all I can for you and for your child."
"I'm not Mrs. Farshaw anymore," Harmony said, baring her teeth as she strode about, her hands clutching her stomach. "I am no longer married, my father said so. Miss Jutland. Dear God, what were the odds that Linda and I would labour at precisely the same time? He's against right now, He must be."
"Who?" William asked.
"Him!" Harmony's forefinger pointed at the tent roof. To the sky, he realised. "Our Almighty Father. First, he lets Calvin live. He lets Calvin get away! And now, He has Linda and I giving birth at the exact same time. But oh no, Linda had to start slightly before me, didn't she? So she gets my midwife." She drew a shuddering breath, then said, "and I am being surly."
Mrs. Garland made a sound of agreement but was otherwise indifferent. William did not rise to Harmony's bait - he would not ask her about Linda or the baby - Mrs. Andrews would come to him as soon as there was something to be told.
Rounding on William again, Harmony said, "this is your fault."
"Mine?" He lifted an eyebrow. "With you, at least, I can say with absolute certainty that what you are going through is definitely not my fault."
"With me 'at least'? You can say with absolute certainty that Beth's child is your fault, William," she snapped. "And that's not what I meant in any case. All that talking earlier, you drilled me for nearly two hours and the moment you left, this started."
"Ridiculous," Mrs. Garland said. "It was happening well before then. Take no notice of her, Sir. It was her time, is all. You did nothing to bring on her labour."
"I know," William said. "She is beside herself with pain and needs someone to lash out at. I know that feeling."
"Oh, don't you dare claim that you've felt anything like this before," Harmony said incredulously. "And yes, I am lashing out at you - a man, in a woman's birthing chamber!" Harmony gave a bitter laugh and gestured at the tent she was pacing in. "Such wonderful accomodations for an expectant mother."
"Don't be too high and mighty about it," he grinned. "Mary gave birth to Jesus in a stable, after all. If a stable is good enough for the Almighty's Son, then a tent should be -"
"Oh shut it," she said, making a shooing gesture with her hands to ward off his attempt at humour. "I could have been at home with my mother," she accused, jabbing her finger at him. "But oh no, not with you on your knees begging that I come with you. You and Richard both."
"That's not quite how I remember it," he said ruefully.
"Oh, what do you want?" She said, impatient and frustrated. Just then, she stopped dead and with a gasp, she gripped the table until her knuckles were white, a low keen ripping from her throat. William was at her side, taking hold of her arm.
"What is it, what is wrong?"
"It hurts, that's what's wrong!" She gasped out, wiping tears from her cheeks. He gazed at her with concern as she grimaced and panted. He threw a helpless look toward Mrs. Garland, who had set her knitting to one side and was watching warily from her seat. He could feel Harmony begin to relax as the contraction started to subside. Harmony then straightened her spine, took a deep, shuddering breath, and wiped her face with the back of her hand. In a calmer, weaker voice, she turned to him and asked, "why are you here?"
"Richard, your father and your brother will be here soon," he began, releasing her arm. He saw her eyes grow cold at the mention of Richard. "I wanted to speak to you first." He glanced at Mrs. Garland, who hesitated.
"I'll be alright. I doubt this will take long," Harmony said and Mrs. Garland put her knitting down, rose, and left the tent.
"You agreed that you would nurse my child. Will you still?"
"If I'm able. There's no certainty that I'll be able to nurse my own. If my milk doesn't come in, or if there's not enough… I'll do what I can," she said, taking up her pacing again, her arms behind her, her knuckles pressing into the small of her back. She was wearing only her night robe, but William barely noticed - he'd seen her thus undressed before.
"I need you to be its nurse, Harm. And I need you to be its..." He trailed off, unable to bring himself to say it.
"Its mother, William," she said, rounding on him. "The word you are looking for, is mother. And that, I can do, for now. However, I must remind you that it already has a mother -"
"Linda is not my child's mother." Iron entered his voice and she raised her arms in surrender. This discussion had been had repeatedly, and at times it became rather heated; she simply did not have the energy to have it again now. It was his right, the child was his, and that was an end to it. "I'm sending Beth to the Ferguson's."
This stopped Harmony in her tracks.
"What?" She gasped. Just then, another contraction took her and she was again clutching at the table, her entire body tight as she bent over, that keen issuing from her lips again. He rubbed her back for her, not knowing what else to do.
"What can I do? Should I recall Mrs. Garland?" He asked, still rubbing her back.
"Not that," she drew away from his hand, she didn't want to be touched. "And no, just…" No more words - she just needed a minute, for the pain to pass. He gave that to her while watching with helpless concern. When it passed, she stayed bent over the table as she met his eyes, hers filled with tears, her cheeks wet from the pain. "That means you're ending your marriage," she said harshly. He wasn't sure if her voice was ragged from the pain or fury with him for making this decision. "Did nothing I said earlier sink in?" She hissed. There, he had his answer. "She left Banastre, the moment she realised the truth -"
"She did," he agreed. "She did not leave him to return to me, however. That, she was forced to do by her father. So what do you have, Harm? I should forgive her because she returned Thunder to me? She wasn't even doing that - that was mere happenstance."
"What do I have? You are not innocent! That's what I have!" She hissed, face flushed red with fury, her lips peeled back from her teeth. "You should forgive her because you are far from bloody innocent!"
He lifted his chin. It was an old argument between them - he'd pursued an innocent girl, seduced her, knowing she was falling in love with him, while he was having ill intentions toward her. His actions had nearly destroyed her reputation, a reputation that no one had had cause to doubt, until he came along. He shrugged. "I married her, didn't I? I made an honest woman out of the woman Banastre ruined."
"Ooohhh you -" Harmony was about to go into full rage but William spoke over her, before she could.
"Any moment now, Richard and your father will arrive, to inform you that you are to go with Beth. It is too dangerous for you to continue on. Rebels are nipping at our heels. The baggage has been abandoned, we are going to move as swiftly as possible and will be skirmishing with the rebels the entire way. And when the armies meet - that is when, not if - that is not a place you and and a newborn child should be. And there's the weather - your child needs to be inside a house with a roaring fire, or it might catch ill and die."
Harmony blanched and she held a hand protectively over her stomach.
"You shall go with Beth and Cilla, to the Ferguson's."
"Where I'm sure Mary Ferguson will welcome me with open arms," Harmony said bitterly.
"That is neither here nor there. You will have Beth and Cilla, you are close to them both, that is all that matters."
"Have you told her?" She asked and he nodded.
"She knows."
"You're a bastard," she said. "I want it on the record, William, that I think you're a bloody bastard."
Another wave of pain hit her and he waited it out, back ram rod straight, face cold and hard, determined not to let her know how her words had effected him. Finally, she began to pace again.
"Wait," she whirled, suddenly realising what else he was saying. "I'm to look after your baby, while you go off traipsing with the army?"
"I would be very grateful to you if you would," he replied.
"And if you die?" She asked, hands on her hips. "What happens if you never return for your child?"
"I…" He stopped, for he hadn't thought this far ahead.
"Haven't thought of that," she accused. "I can't afford to provide for it, no matter how much I might want to. You'd better write your child into your Will, leave it something before you go off and die and leave it with nothing."
"That is sage advice," he said, not rising to the bait. "I will do so before we leave, I will ensure that when we part, you will have a copy with my intentions for the child."
"That's grand, but what are your intentions? For me to raise it, if you die?"
"I… Harmony, I have no one else," he spread his hands wide. "I can not send a bastard home to my mother. There is only you. Of all the people in the world, you are the only one I'd trust with my child. And don't harp on about Linda, I wouldn't trust her with someone else's child, let alone my own."
"You will give it your name though?" She asked and he nods. "That's a start… How much will you leave it? You are ending your marriage with Beth and her father made it very clear to you that if you did so, her dowry and inheritance were forfeit. You won't have a penny of hers, so how will you leave this child anything?"
"I do have money of my own," he said. "My child will not be penniless, nor will he or she become a duty incumbent upon you, in the event of my death." He cocked his head. "The talking of which, I note, doesn't seem to inspire much concern in you."
"You want me to grieve you?" She said, lifting her chin. "William, I don't believe I ever want to set eyes on you again."
His jaw dropped, he breathed out slowly, then closed his gaping mouth.
"You wanted to fuck her," she spat. "For fifty pounds. You cared nothing for what it would do to her. The pursuit. The seduction. Her heartbreak when she learned the full truth. The confusion. The desolation when it was over between you. And when everyone turned their backs on her. The lack of hope that she would ever be with you again. You tossed her off a cliff and no one was there to catch her, least of all you. Until he came along and got her soused and gave her all the affection she'd been denied and was craving like a starving child. You set her feet on the road to her ruin and after walking it with her only a short while, you'll leave her to continue that road for the rest of her life, alone. And for that, this leaving her, I'll never forgive you. For abandoning your child, I shall never forgive you."
His lips were tight, his face bloodless. He nodded curtly and turned to leave. Another contraction began to take her and as she bent over the table, she said through gritted teeth, "And don't you dare forget what you did to Cilla! Richard raped her, and you protected him! You have no right…! No right to act the martyr! None! I should have turned my back on you months ago - back in the city when all this started! You are no damned innocent, William!"
"I'll send Mrs. Garland back to you," he said, trying to recover his equilibrium. He bowed, then walked out of the tent.
