This was quite a long chapter so I have split into two chapters. Chapter 10 and Chapter 11.
HEARTSTRINGS::Jitu/Ayushmann
That day after finishing shooting when Ayushmann goes home, he is unable to shake of Jitu from his thoughts, his sobs, his pain; Ayushmann has been carrying all this weight with him all day. All he can think about seeing Jitu, how he should have been there for him, he should see him. Jitu had a meltdown and understandably so and how he called Ayushmann; he can imagine Jitu holding on until he couldn't when he made the call.
"Kya howa itne pareshaan kyun lag rahe ho?" Tahira notices the unusual quietness surrounding Ayushmann. (What happened? Why looking so worried?)
"Kuch nahi." That is bit odd. (Nothing.)
"Kuch toh howa hai warna itne gum nahi hote." (Something did happen or else you wouldn't be so glum.)
"Jitu se baat hoyi thi aaj." He replies after taking a long breathe. (I spoke with Jitu today.)
"Woh theek hai?" Ayushmann just shakes his head. Tahira waits patiently for him to explain. (Is he okay?)
"Woh theek nahi hai. Aur pata nahi dil bhi ajeeb sa ghabra raha hai us call ke baad." Tahira watches Ayushmann continue to feel restless but he does not expand on what happened. Sighing she finally says out loud what he is thinking but not saying. (He is not okay. I don't know my heart is being restless since the phone call.)
"Toh mil kyun nahi lete usay?" Tahira asks him knowing that Ayushmann is restless. When he tries to answer her question, all excuses die in his throat. Excuses. It takes him few days to plan but when he decides he needs to see Jitu, he makes sure to make it happen. Jitu doesn't connect him after that, their messages are being exchanged with minimal replies from Jitu. Ayushmann knows when Jitu is back in Mumbai briefly before going away for shooting again. Ayushmann does early shift of shooting, cancels all plans for rest of day with determined to see Jitu. (Then why don't you see him?)
He didn't even think about telling the other guy he will be in the city because of course, he is also busy with his project, so he comes and hoping to leave the city unnoticed. So he is indeed shocked when he finds Ayushmann at his door at late afternoon. Jitu stands there with door wide open looking at Ayushmann with wide eyes, clearly not expecting the other man's company.
"Andar anay ki ijazaat hai yaan aise hi darwaaze pe goorte rehne ka irada hai?" His tone is light and teasing. Jitu just moves from door and Ayushmann comes in and before Jitu can say anything, the older man pulls Jitu in a hug, wrapping his arms completely around Jitu. (Do I have the permission to enter or you want to stare some more at the door step?)
Unable to hold back his emotions any longer, Jitu wraps his arms other the other man, hugging him back tightly. The tight hold of Jitu makes Ayushmann tighten his hold onto other man as well and he stands there holding onto other man. Jitu's breath quickens when Ayushmann's arms tightens around him. He feels all his tension releasing his body, this is exactly what he needed, what we wanted badly and for now he relishes in it.
Once Ayushmann feels Jitu is okay he slowly looses his hold on him, giving him space and time to break away from hug. Jitu sensing that, slowly breaks away from hug, gaze on floor but a shy smile on his lips.
"Kaisa hai?" (How are you?)
"Tum yahan?" Both begin at the same time and Jitu stops hearing Ayushmann's question. (You here?)
"Haan, theek hon." He replies but his voice isn't convincing. (Yes, I am alright.)
"Aao.. baitho." Ayushmann makes himself comfortable at Jitu's apartment. (Come have a seat.)
"Tum kaise ho? Kuch peeyoge?" Jitu asks once they sit down. (How are you? Want something to drink?)
"Main theek hon aur peene se pehle kuch khaaonga." Ayushmann replies in one breathe. (I'm good and will have a drink later first I will have something to eat.)
"Tumne kuch khaya nahi?" (You didn't eat anything?)
"Nahi. Shooting khatam karke seedha yahan aya hon." Jitu is stunned. (No. I wrapped up shooting and came straight here.)
"Seedha yahan?" (Straight here?)
"Haan... socha ke mil lon esay pehle tu phirse MIA hojaye. Khud toh batayega nahi par mere paas bhi tarikay hain info nikalwane ke." Scratching his head lightly Jitu looks away at this. (Yes... I thought to come and see you before you go MIA again. You wouldn't tell me anything so what else I would do to to get info.)
"Woh yaar, bas producer ke saath aik meeting thi, bas esi liye aise anan fanan..." (It's just I had this meeting with producer that's why I came back at such a short notice...)
"Haan haan.. pata hai, "Jeetu bhaiya" kitne busy hain. Ab hume kahan bhao deinge." (Yes, yes... I know, "Jeetu Bhahiya" is very busy and why will you give me any importance?)
"Shut up yaar, Ayush...mann." The gap between Ayush and Mann doesn't skip by Ayushmann, he really wants to mention this but he stays quiet on this once again. It seems like this is adding into their 'unspoken' pile.
"Dinner ka kya karna hai?" Ayushmann asks Jitu, diverting attention from heavy conversation for now. He'll surely get back to it later on but right now he is really tired and hungry. (What to do about dinner?)
"Maine..." Jitu wasn't expecting company, he feels embarrassed for lack of preparations. He was about to suggest eating out but tiredness is clearly visible on other man's face and he hasn't prepared anything so order in is good option. (I...)
"Theek hai. Jo dil chahe order karde." (That's alright. Just order whatever you like.)
"Tune kya khana hai?" Jitu asks once again. Ayushmann thinks for a moment and then suggests pure desi cuisine. (What do you want to eat?)
"Tumhari movie shoot ho rahi hai na? Abhi allow hai yeh khanna?" (You are in midst of movie shoot, aren't you? Are you allowed to eat all this food?)
"Arre bhaad mein jaye abhi ke liye, aaj bas maine apni marzi karni hai. Cheat day." Ayushmann adds that in the end with a wink throwing at Jitu who stops on his tracks. Smile spreads across Ayushmann's face enjoying the look on Jitu's face, who in return throws cushion at him before picking up the phone and ordering the food. By the time food arrives even Jitu is quite hungry. (I don't care about it for now, today I just want to eat what I feel like. Cheat day.)
"Itne dino baad yeh khana naseeb howa hai." Ayushmann lets out a loud moan as he takes the first bite and that moan does things to Jitu's body and he goes still. Ayushmann looks at him sheepishly. (Finally eating this food after ages.)
"Jitna jee chahe khah." Ayushmann absolutely enjoys every bite of that dinner and Jitu is unable to concentrate, too busy watching Ayushmann enjoying his food. (Eat all you want.)
The dinner goes smoothly as Ayushmann talks about movie he is currently busy with.
"Seriously yaar, I miss our gang."
"Not enjoying?"
"Nahi... I mean enjoy toh kar raha hon par woh baat nahi hai." He pouts and Jitu's heart warms at this confession. (Nope... I meant I am enjoying but it's not the same.)
"Haan, miss toh main bhi kar raha hon." He is looking at his food, pretending to eat as he confesses. Looking at his face Ayushmann can take a clear guess about what is Jitu clearly missing. (Yes, even I miss it.)
"Kota Factory is your baby." Ayushmann doesn't mean to say it but it slips out.
"Haan but..." Jitu doesn't finish his sentence, not wanting to continue it.
"Enjoy kar raha hai na?" (Not enjoying it?)
"Haan, itne waqt se kaam kar raha tha espe, finally ab shooting shuru hoyi hai. Shubh Mangal ke baad furan Kota Factory pe kaam shuru hogaya toh shayad thora transition karne mein waqt laga hai." (Yes, I have been working on it for quite some time and now the shooting has started. Soon after finishing Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan I started on Kota Factory so maybe just taking bit of time to transition from one to another.)
"Haan, samajh sakta hon, pehle bhi itni movies ki par pehli bar aisa howa ke transition karne mein itna waqt laga." (Yes, I can understand, I have done many movies in past but it is first time that took time to transition from one to another.)
"Shubh Mangal Zyada is something else. We created something else, entirely." Ayushmann continues with clear awe in his voice.
"Haan... aise hi lagta hai. Kuch toh hum kar guzre hain." Jitu is still in awe as some of beautiful memories cross his mind. (Yes... it feels like that. We have done something else entirely.)
"Socha nahi tha yeh meri zindagi aise badal dega." Jitu mutters to himself but Ayushmann overhears him. (I never thought how it will change my life.)
"Kaise?" He asks and then Jitu realises his mistake. When he doesn't reply, Ayushmann continues. (How?)
"Family ki baat kar raha hai? Us din ke baad baat hoyi ghar walon se?" Finally, he manages to ask what he wanted to ask since he walked through that door. (You are talking about the family? Did you speak to them after that day?)
"Dinner ke waqt itni heavy discussion?" Is the question he gets from younger man. (Such heavy discussion during dinner?)
"Toh theek hai, dinner ke baad baat karte hain." So... he will not walk away from this. Jitu thinks to himself. (That's fine then, we will take it up after dinner.)
"Es liye aye ho?" (That's why you came here?)
"Fikar hai tumhari mujhe." (I worry about you.)
"Kyun?" Jitu doesn't know why but he needs answer to this. (Why?)
"Tumne mujhe hi call kyun ki?" Ayushmann asks Jitu while looking straight into his eyes. (Why do you call me?)
"Us waqt sirf tumhara hi khayal aya. Pata nahi aisa laga ke sirf tumhi ho jo..." Looking into those eyes, Jitu is unable to form a lie so he decides to go with truth. (At that time I only thought of you. Don't know why that only you were the one who...)
"Main kya?" He waits. Jitu breaks the eye contact and resumes to play with his food. Ayushmann doesn't know what comes over him, he puts his hand on Jitu's to stop it from moving empty fork around the plate. His fingers curl around Jitu's hand and with other hand he takes the fork away from him, placing it next to the plate. (I what?)
"Dekh idhar." When Jitu finally looks at him, Ayushmann's breathe hitches. His eyes are holding such strong emotion in them but he cannot identify that but he can see storm brewing in them waiting to set free from his eyes. (Look here.)
"Jitu." His name exhales from his lips as he is unable to understand what is going on but he knows something is happening and with that knowledge comes fear, a fear of losing Jitu and his heart starts to beat loudly.
'Kiss him. Hold him. He is here for you, isn't he? He came all the way because he cares.' His treacherous mind keeps running this commentary, making him want to act in impulse and he so badly wants to give in, especially when Ayushmann is looking at him with so much affection and worry in his eyes, holding his hand.
"Jitu." The way his name exhales from his lips brings Jitu back and he takes his hand away from his hold before using it to pick up his plate and walking away to kitchen in hasty steps leaving Ayushmann stunned. Ayushmann is stunned when Jitu goes into the kitchen, he really thought they were having a moment. Not giving up he follows him in kitchen.
"Kya howa? Ab baat bhi nahi karni kya?" (What happened? Now you don't want to talk?)
"Aap yahan kyun aye?" Aap. Not 'tum' or 'tu'. When Jitu addresses him as Aap, Ayushmann knows it's not a good sign. He only does that when he is too angry or too hurt and Ayushman is unable to understand what did he do? Shouldn't he had come tonight? - abandoning all thoughts he thinks to reply in all honesty to the man who is standing with his back to him. (Why did you come here?)
"Tumhare liye." Jitu stills. Ayushmann goes behind him putting his arm around his shoulder to tug him in for a side hug. (For you.)
"Aise kaise ho sakta hai ke tum taqleef mein ho aur main na aayon?" Jitu smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes yet. But Ayushmann knows he will achieve that for sure before he leaves tonight. The thought of leaving and the fact their time is limited does not settle well with him, he had forgotten that now their time is always limited. (How is it possible that you are in pain and I am not here?)
"Kya peeyoge?" Jitu asks. Ayushmann looks at his face, studying it causing Jitu's face to go red. (What will you drink?)
"Tera chehra dekh ke lag raha hai strong se kam kuch nahi chalega aaj." (Judging from your face it seems like nothing will do less than something strong.)
"Manoge nahi na?" (You don't give you, do you?)
"Jitu, you had a meltdown aur uske baad phirse avoid..."
"Main busy tha." (I was busy.)
"Avoid."
"Busy."
"Avoid." Before Jitu could say, Ayushmann speaks up again.
"I can keep going and you know that." Jitu looks at him, really looks at him and knows he is screwed. This man cares too much and Jitu doesn't know how to handle that. He never had this before. He smiles and Ayushmann knows he has won and grins in return.
I hope you all enjoyed it. I also have a question. This dinner scene, I had written an alternate version as well where dinner scene goes slightly different, where Jitu does not walk off and answers Ayushmann. It's not really part of story but just a different version if I had taken story in that way. Are you interested in reading that version please let me know, so I can post it.
