It was a long ride home, so Elizabeth and Nathan passed the time with a game of questions.
"Anything is fair game," Nathan said. You start."
Elizabeth's head was spinning with all the questions she could ask him, but she started with an easy one.
"What's Allie's full name?"
"Alice Rebecca Butler," Nathan said. "I changed it legally to Grant when she started school so people wouldn't ask so many questions. I thought Caleb never earned the right to give her a name anyway, so I gave her mine and Sarah's."
"I love both the names Alice and Rebecca," Elizabeth said.
"Rebecca is my mom, and Alice is Caleb's. She was always Allie, but I suppose she'll have the choice of Alice when she gets older."
"Okay," Nathan said, "My turn. Have you always been Elizabeth? I was Nate for about five minutes in school, but I just couldn't warm to it."
Elizabeth said, "I told my friends to call me Lizzie when I first started school. My father said that name didn't fit a Thatcher and made a point of talking to all my teachers. I was Elizabeth and that was that."
"A rebel even then," Nathan said. "But I think I can see you as a Lizzie. Maybe a Beth, but never Betsy."
"No, not Betsy, please! Actually, several years ago a single father of two children in my class had to leave them alone on their homestead outside of town, and I volunteered to care for them." Elizabeth laughed at the memory. "I didn't know how to do anything; pump water, milk a cow, get the stove started."
She shook her head. "Jack helped me with some of it, but I managed a lot on my own. And I have never been so tired in all my life." Elizabeth said proudly, "When their father came back home, the children named the cow Lizzie after me."
Nathan laughed out loud. "Well, that was quite an honor. The family cow is very important to a homestead."
"I thought so," Elizabeth said, smiling and sitting a little taller in the saddle.
"And were you upset with your father about not letting you change your name?"
Elizabeth thought for a moment. "I was a little younger than Allie, so I gave in on the name, but it only strengthened my resolve to be my own person someday. It's strange how we grow up in a set of standards that aren't our choice, and then are expected to follow them to the letter." She looked over at Nathan. "I was a Hamilton girl, with all the frills and money, and then I wasn't anymore."
"How did your parents feel about that?"
"My mother wanted me to marry Charles Kensington..."
Nathan raised his eyebrows. "Even his name sounds like it's dripping with money."
Elizabeth laughed, "Oh, he is definitely rich. And he did ask me, but I said no."
"Lizzie the Heartbreaker," Nathan said softly.
Elizabeth looked at Nathan, her face serious. "I never led him to believe I would say yes. He thought he might be irresistible, I suppose. But I wanted a very different life."
"And how did your parents feel about you marrying a Mountie?"
Elizabeth frowned, "I thought we were going back and forth on the questions – one for you, one for me. You just got five in a row!"
"I'll give you five after you answer this one," Nathan said. Elizabeth realized he was being more serious about this particular question.
"My father offered Jack a job at Hamilton Industries at a very generous rate of pay."
Nathan looked up and laughed. "I would imagine Jack Thornton handed him back his offer and left."
Elizabeth smiled, remembering. "Yes."
"Did they not think of Mountie as a noble profession?" Nathan asked quietly.
Elizabeth paused, thinking through her answer. "A very large part of being a Thatcher is doing the right thing, fitting in with the right people, not rocking the boat, you know?"
Nathan smiled at her. "I hate to break this to you, Elizabeth, but you're a born boat-rocker."
"And proud of it!" Elizabeth said, laughing. She frowned slightly, "So many of those men who died in the mine right before I got here were infinitely better men than the ones my father does business with." She shook her head, "And the women! So strong and capable and blessed with good sense."
"There must be some people in Hamilton with those qualities," Nathan said.
"Yes, absolutely. And my parents are good people. But the honest answer is that they don't understand the noble profession of Mountie. And you need to know that they won't understand your loyalty to it."
Nathan looked sideways at her and said, "You think your father would offer me a job?"
Elizabeth laughed. "Probably."
Nathan was thoughtful for moment, looking out at the trees and the sky. "Truth is, I wouldn't miss the nobility of being a Mountie as much as I'd miss the outdoors. I don't think sitting behind a desk would be the right life for me."
Smiling, Elizabeth said, "I'm glad. And I agree." She raised her eyebrows at him, "So is it finally my turn again?"
Nathan smiled, looking down. "Yes."
Elizabeth thought for a moment. "Okay, my question has two parts, and you will still owe me three."
"You drive a hard bargain, but all right, fine," Nathan said.
"Why did you first take the Inspector job in Union City, and then why did you turn it down?"
Nathan's face went blank for a moment and she could see him trying to compose his answer. He'd suddenly found a spot on the pommel of his saddle that badly needed cleaning.
"Do we need to put you on a stopwatch?" Elizabeth asked sweetly. She had known this would be difficult for him, but she'd wanted to ask him this for a long time.
"I think those two questions should be equal to five due to a higher degree of difficulty," Nathan said, suppressing a smile.
"Agreed," she said quickly.
Nathan took a deep breath. "I took the job because I didn't think I could stand to watch you and Lucas courting in a town as small as Hope Valley," Nathan said. His eyes were very blue, and he was completely focused on her. His answer and his gaze made Elizabeth a little light-headed.
Her voice was just above a whisper. "But we weren't courting. We never were."
"I didn't know that. When you chose him to dance with, I thought you were letting us all know that you were." Even now, with Elizabeth's care for him clear in her eyes, Nathan felt the ache he remembered from that night.
Elizabeth spoke very softly, "No one else was going to ask him, Nathan. I looked for you first but didn't see you, and he was alone. I didn't know what else to do."
He smiled softly at her. "You were being kind. It's what you always do."
Elizabeth said, "I left the dance after that, to come and tell you I'd looked for you. That I'd wanted to ask you to dance." Elizabeth looked down at the reins in her hand. "But I lost my nerve and didn't come in." She looked over at him, smiling sadly. "I watched you through the window while you were writing, for a long time."
Nathan said quietly. "I'm sorry you didn't come in. And I'm sorry I left the dance." He looked at her and reached out his hand. "We almost missed our chance, didn't we?"
Elizabeth took his hand and smiled. "Yes. But you turned down the job and stayed. Why? If you still thought Lucas and I would be courting? Why did you stay?"
"It was Allie at first. When I saw her in your choir at the Christmas service, I saw a young girl who was less hurt, more open, than she'd ever been. Hearing her sing..." Nathan shook his head, remembering, "She was so... grown up and confident."
Nathan looked out at the road ahead of them. "But she did something that pulled me up short. As she was singing, she was looking around at the others in the choir, and she was... memorizing their faces. I could see it as clear as day. And I thought, I can't do this to her again."
Nathan looked back at Elizabeth. "So, I went right after the service and wired Union City and told them I couldn't take the job due to family commitments."
Elizabeth looked down at their hands, still clasped together. "Was that the only reason?" she asked quietly.
Nathan smiled at her. "No. And you may not like this one, but I told you I'd always be honest with you." Elizabeth let go of his hand a little nervously.
"Go ahead."
"If you and Lucas were courting, I wanted to be there for you, even as a friend, because I couldn't in a million years see it working out."
Elizabeth raised her eyebrows and simply said, "Oh. And why is that?"
Nathan looked her right in the eye. "Because Lucas likes the chase more than the prize. I've seen hundreds of men like him, Elizabeth. Once he had you, the game wouldn't be as much fun. I hoped I could catch you if you fell."
"You wanted to rescue me?" Elizabeth sounded a little indignant.
"No, you were going to have to rescue yourself. I wanted you to have a friend to go to afterwards."
Elizabeth relaxed the set of her jaw. "That's fair." She smiled at him. "And also kind."
Nathan grimaced a little. "I think you know now that I hoped for more. Don't nominate me for sainthood or anything."
Elizabeth looked at him from under her lashes. "Saint Nathan. It does have a ring to it."
Nathan said quickly, "My turn. If you weren't a teacher, what would you be? And you can't say coal miner," Nathan said, smiling.
"Oh! That was my second choice," Elizabeth said, shaking her head and laughing. "Hmmmm, that's a hard one, because I've always wanted to be a teacher."
"You're an extraordinary teacher, Elizabeth, and that's not flattery. The other day when I stood in the doorway to the school, I was trying to make you blush again, truth be told," Nathan said, smiling sideways at her, "but before you turned around, I was just listening. You get your students excited about learning."
Elizabeth smiled, "And did you learn anything, Constable Grant?"
"I did. Up until then I thought we only had five senses," he said, looking serious. "Imagine my surprise..."
Elizabeth glared at him. "You unsettled me. Your jacket was very red in the doorway. It was distracting."
"So were your cheeks, Elizabeth." He raised his chin, "Unsettled? Is that a good thing?"
Ignoring him with a smile, Elizabeth said, "So, in answer to your question, I suppose I would be a writer. Let me amend that. A published writer. Wait. A successful published writer."
"Would you ever let me read anything you've written?"
"Yes. I have a book of stories of Hope Valley. I've fallen behind in writing them since I've been working and raising Jack. I still manage to write in my journal every day, but the stories have suffered a little."
"Maybe Allie and I can help you with Jack so you can write more. He seems to like her a lot, and he puts up with me," Nathan said.
Elizabeth smiled gratefully. "Thank you, but it's such a tug of war. I want to be with him, and I want to write, and I want to teach. I want it all. I know Jack enjoys being with you and Allie so much, but then he's still away from me."
Nathan said, softly. "What if we're all together? Allie and I could come down to your house, or you could come to ours. We have dinner, you write, and we watch Jack for you. Then we go to our separate homes."
There was that vulnerable look again, the one that was the window into his thoughts, just as her blushing was for him. Elizabeth loved that he was willing to open himself up that way. She looked down at her hands and spoke as softly as he did. "It sounds almost like... a family."
"Almost," Nathan said. "Elizabeth?" he said, asking her to look up. When she did, he said, "I have another question. Is that what we're moving toward? You, me, Allie and Jack? Can we just say it out loud?"
Elizabeth said, "Yes. We can. That's what I want, too. And what you suggested is a way to take it slowly, and that feels right to me. So, yes, Nathan, that's what we're moving toward."
Nathan and Elizabeth rode back into Hope Valley just as late afternoon was turning to early twilight. They got Bear and Sergeant settled in their stalls with some food and walked Allie's horse over to the row house.
Nathan had already acquired tack for her, and it was waiting at the livery; all that was left was to make some adjustments and they could ride tomorrow.
Nathan was trying to figure out if Allie would let him sleep tonight if he didn't tell her now what the surprise was – and he opted for the sleep. Allie wouldn't be able to ride her tonight, but she would see her.
Elizabeth stood around the side of the row house while Nathan went up to the door. Allie was inside playing with Jack and was in good spirits. Laura was in the kitchen just finishing up the dinner dishes.
"Uncle Nathan!" He had to admit that he loved it when she reacted to his coming home that way. Tonight, Allie jumped up and said, "Do I finally get to know what you did all day?"
Nathan hugged her and said, "Yes."
"Where's Mrs. Thornton?" Allie asked, looking around Nathan in the doorway.
Nathan walked out to the porch and Allie followed him. "Hmmm, I don't know. Maybe we should see if she's around the side."
They walked down the stairs and Elizabeth was standing there next to a beautiful caramel-colored horse with a nearly white mane. She had a long white stripe down her nose and four white socks above her hooves.
Allie just stood there for a moment, and then said, "Mrs. Thornton, did you get a new horse? Where's Sergeant?"
Elizabeth looked at Nathan and he nodded. "Sergeant is in the livery, Allie, in his stall." She was walking toward Allie with a joyful smile on her face.
Allie looked over at her uncle and could see he was smiling too, and she dared to hope.
Nathan simply said, "It's time you had your own horse, Allie. She's yours. Happy Birthday."
Allie's mouth opened and closed silently as her eyes widened. Almost reverently, she took a couple of steps forward and slowly put her hand on the palomino's long nose. The horse, so used to being around a young girl, nuzzled up against Allie's fingers.
Elizabeth said, "She likes you, Allie. Come closer."
Allie looked at Elizabeth and said in almost a whisper, "I'll be right back."
She turned and ran to her Uncle Nathan and hugged him, squeezing him around the waist so tightly that he had to get down to her level and give her a real hug so he could breathe.
Then Allie did something that Elizabeth had never seen, and that Nathan hadn't seen for many years. She cried. All her defenses were down, and large tears were sliding down her cheeks.
"We really are staying here, aren't we?"
"Yes," Nathan said, gently wiping a tear from her cheek.
"Thank you, Uncle Nathan. This is amazing! It's the best birthday present ever!" The wisecracks were gone along with the tough exterior, and Nathan thought Allie looked more like a little girl again.
Allie turned, wiped her eyes on her sleeves, and walked back to where Elizabeth stood.
"My very own horse," she said, as if she still might not believe it.
She looked up at Elizabeth and said, "What's her name?"
Elizabeth looked over at Nathan.
Nathan stepped forward and stood right behind Allie. "Actually, the man who sold her to me told me her name. You can change it, but do you want to know what it is?"
"What?" Allie said.
"Sarah."
Allie turned and gasped. "That's my mother's name!"
Nathan nodded. "Yes, it is."
"I like it," Allie said. And she stepped forward and put her hand on Sarah's nose. "Sarah..." Allie said softly, and the horse nuzzled her hand again.
Seeing how gentle and quiet the horse was, Elizabeth handed the halter rope to Allie and walked over to the porch where Laura was holding Jack. Elizabeth reached her arms up and took Jack from her. "Do you see the horsey?" she said brightly, and Jack pointed, letting her know he wanted to get closer.
Elizabeth walked over with Jack and let him put his hand on Sarah's head gently. The three of them stood there for a time, talking softly, while Nathan watched them from a short distance, transfixed.
Elizabeth left Allie alone with Sarah and walked over to Nathan with Jack, who immediately put his arms out for Nathan to hold him. Jack was sleepy and he laid his head on his shoulder, toying with the collar on Nathan's shirt.
Nathan put his arm around Elizabeth, and she put her head on his other shoulder. They just watched as Allie spoke softly to her new horse.
Nathan's hand tightened on Elizabeth's arm, and he turned and kissed her tenderly on the forehead.
"Elizabeth, I don't think I can remember ever being this happy."
