Hi guys! How was everybody's weekend? I hope it was great! Thank you all for being so sweet to me. You make writing so much better with all your kind and honest words.
A low beeping sound next to me brought me back from unconsciousness. I opened my eyes slowly, having to blink a few times to let my eyes adjust to the bright light. A small room came into focus. The walls were white, decorated only with posters about safe sex and healthy diet options. I was laying in a small bed with a blood pressure cuff around my arm and an oximeter on my finger. That was where the beeping was coming from. I was in the clinic at school, I realized. I sat up slowly. My head had a faint pounding, but it was easy to ignore. The events of which landed me here came rolling back. I was no longer under compulsion, and I could remember everything. My life had a completely new meaning. I looked at everything differently than I had before.
"You're awake." A soft voice said. I turned my head to see Dimitri sitting next to me in a small folding chair. He looked like if he shifted anymore it might break under his weight. He stuck a bookmark in a western he was reading. "How are you feeling?" he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees.
"Like someone reached inside my head and made the world around me explode. Oh, wait. That's exactly what happened." I said sarcastically. Dimitri's level gaze told me he wasn't in the mood for joking. I sighed. "I'm okay. I'm just confused. So much has happened this week. It's like I can't even catch my breath." I dropped my eyes and played with a loose thread on the scratchy blanket that covered me.
"You said in the cabin that you remembered everything. What does that mean?" His eyes regarded my face carefully.
I took a deep breath, then told him everything. "My mother raised me with humans, as a way to protect me from the guardians and Strigoi. I understood wanting to protect me from Strigoi, but I couldn't understand why she would want to keep me away from our own people. Our own race." I frowned, recalling a conversation we once had. "She said after what happened with my father, she would never let me around Moroi or dhampirs. Only, she had to have. That's the only way I would have been compelled." I leaned back in the bed and thought about the man who did it. Realization hit me, and I shot back up. "The man in the photo you showed me, and the man who made my mom cry when I was young. He's the one who did it."
Dimitri's eyebrows shot up. He too sat up straight. "You're sure?"
I nodded. "He told me before it happened that I would remember when it was time, but they had to do this to make me forget. They never told me why." I closed my eyes. "My mom was killed two days later. Whatever-or whoever-they were trying to protect me from got my mother."
A knock at the door interrupted our conversation. An older Moroi woman entered the room. "I heard you two talking. I'm Dr. Olendzski. I would say that it's nice to meet you, but I would like to have saved those words for better circumstances."
"It's nice to meet you, too." I said.
She smiled. "I want to check your vitals and your head again. If everything checks out, you'll be good to go."
After a series of questions and an annoying light in my eyes, she finally released me.
"What happened after I passed out?" I asked Dimitri as we walked to the dhampir dorms.
"Lissa fainted at the same time you did. She's okay." He added quickly when he saw my panicked expression. "She woke up much sooner than you did. She's in her room resting. Adrian, too. They both used a lot of energy to do what they did. Adrian certainly didn't last as long as Lissa, however." Dimitri frowned, lost in thought.
"How long was I out?"
"Two days."
"Two days?" I shrieked.
Dimitri nodded at me solemnly. We reached my room, and I leaned against the door. "Sonya's funeral is tomorrow." He said quietly.
I took a deep breath. "I've barely had time to think about her with everything else going on." I laughed, though there was no humor in it. "I haven't had any time to grieve anyone."
Sympathy flashed across his face. "I know. I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault." I managed a small smile. "You've been the only good thing in my life lately." I think my words surprised us both, because it was a while before he responded.
"I don't think that's true. You've made new friends, and you got your memory back. Now we can figure out what happened and why." He brushed a strand of hair that escaped my hideous ponytail out of my face.
"I guess." I looked away from him. Sometimes it hurt to look at him. My feelings for him kept growing and growing. It was easier to focus on that than my disaster of a life sometimes. I'd only known this man a week or two and already I was falling way too hard, and way too fast.
"Get some sleep. We have an early day." I said nothing and watched him retreat. Grief built in my chest, nearly suffocating me. Tomorrow I would have to say goodbye to the last woman in my family.
Dimitri and I rode in silence to the funeral. Rain blasted the windshield, which was fitting for such a horrible day. The heat coming from the vents in the car were barely enough to warm me. I wore a fitted long sleeved black dress that came mid-thigh with tights and heels, and it did little to help the chill. Unfortunately, it was all I owned. I had my arms crossed, and rubbed my arms. Dimitri cranked the heat as high as it would go. I gave him a small smile for a thank you, but looked away before he could see the tears threatening to spill out. He reached over and grabbed my hand, lacing his fingers in mine. I squeezed his hand tightly, and held it like that until we reached the grave site.
Dimitri handed me an umbrella, and grabbed one for himself. We walked over to where Victor stood, speaking to some people I didn't recognize. Friends of theirs, I presumed. Guilt raked me. They wanted nothing to do with this life. I stole their freedom from this, and stole Sonya's life. My heart broke all over again seeing Victor's tear streaked face. You can do this. I chastised myself.
Victor broke away from his friends when he saw us and hugged me. "Thank you for bringing her." He said to Dimitri, who nodded. "How are you?" he asked me.
I shrugged. "It's not me that you need to be worried about."
Victor's face filled with sympathy. "Honey, you lost two people in two weeks. That's a lot for a seventeen year old girl to take on."
"I'm fine, Uncle Victor." I tried my best to flash one of my dashing Rose Hathaway smiles. "Really, I am."
He didn't look convinced, but dropped it. The service was quick, due to the rain. Dimitri stayed by my side the whole time, which I was thankful for. Many people I didn't know came up to me and expressed their condolences. I thanked each one politely, but after an hour I desperately wanted to leave. Sensing this, Dimitri told Victor we had to get back. I hugged my uncle again. I looked back at him once we reached the car, and my soul died a little when I saw him with one hand on Sonya's casket, the other covering his eyes as he wept.
As soon as we parked at the academy, I opened the door and ran.
"Rose!" Dimitri called after me. I only stopped to kick off my heels so I could run faster. I let the rain pelt me in the face.
I ran until I reached the gym, where I shed my dress. I had on a black camisole and spandex under my dress. I grabbed the gloves Dimitri gave me and began a dummy that resembled a Strigoi as hard as I could. Only, I didn't stop. I hit him again and again and again. I hit him until two hands physically made me stop.
"No!" I screamed. I fought against the strong hold. "Let me go!"
"Rose, you need to stop." Dimitri said calmly. It made me angry.
"No." I said. "I don't want to be calm right now!"
"Well, you need to be. You can grieve, but I won't let you hurt yourself while you do it." His eyes were filled with so much compassion. My heart ached staring at him. I wanted him, so badly. Our eyes locked, and I leaned toward him. I leaned my head on his chest. His hands still held my shoulders.
"You care about me." I stated matter of factly.
"Of course I do." He sounded shocked, like it was silly of me to think any different. He took a few steps back. "You're my student."
I took a step closer. "No, it's more than that. I've seen it since the day you found me at the academy." I took another step, nearly closing the distance between us. "You care about me in a different way. A way you would never care for any of them." I made a waving motion to where the school was.
"Don't be ridiculous." Said Dimitri, his voice gruff. His control was cracking, and he and I both knew it.
"I'm not." I insisted. "You're always fighting for control around me, even now. But it's breaking. I can see it." One more step and we would be chest to chest. Or rather chest to head, considering our ridiculous height difference. I closed the distance and Dimitri stiffened. I snaked a hand up his chest and to the back of his neck, winding my fingers in his hair. "Let yourself feel this." I whispered. His eyes closed briefly, and when he opened them, the fire in his irises shocked me. He was breathing heavily, the breaths coming out ragged. His dark eyes bore into mine, the fire in them spreading through my entire body. A deep longing exploded inside me, and it took everything I had to hold back.
"We can't." Dimitri spoke. He didn't believe his own words.
I tightened my grip on his hair and pulled him down to me. "Yes, we can." I brought his face down to mine, stopping only a breath away from his lips. "You can't tell me you don't want this." My heart was pounding, and I knew by his heavy breathing he was too.
"I don't want this." He murmured.
My lips turned up in a soft smile. "Liar." I whispered.
Something broke in him, and his lips crushed against mine. His left arm grabbed me around my waist, his hand holding the small of my back. The right hand held my head as he lifted me, bringing our bodies closer. His lips moved feverishly against mine. I held his cheek with my free hand, my thumb brushing over his stubble. His tongue traced my bottom lip, and I opened my mouth. Our tongues danced together in a heady fashion. He wanted me just as badly as I wanted him. He carried me to a supply closet, never breaking the kiss. He kicked the door shut behind him and slammed me against a wall. The hand that was holding my back grabbed my thigh and wrapped it around his body. My arms wrapped tightly around his neck, bringing him even closer, if possible. His mouth moved from my own, trailing light kisses from my cheek and to my ear.
"Roza." He breathed. I shivered. A small moan escaped my lips. Everything was perfect. Almost. Abruptly he set me down and moved away from me. He put his hand over his mouth and just stared at me for a few moments. I reached for him, but he held up a hand. "We can never do that again." The ice in his voice startled me.
"What? But-"
"I mean it." He cut me off. "You're a child." I flinched. "I cannot let myself lose control to a child." He shook his head and strode past me and out of the room.
Tears welled in my eyes. This easily had to be the worst day ever.
Poor Rose really can't catch a break, but we finally had our first kiss! Let me know what you think! Have a great week :)
