When they got to the meadow, they spread their blanket in the soft tall grass under the shade of the rocky outcrop. After lunch he leaned against the basket and she put her head in his lap. He was lazily stroking her hair, about to doze off for a nap, but Rose wanted to talk. She started off tentatively. "Husband?" He murmured in response. "The pictures of the people on your bedroom wall in the Tardis. I realize I'm not the first companion you've ever had. Will you tell me about them?" He chuckled, realizing he had lost his chance at a nap. "What do you want to know? Wait, let me guess, Everything."
Chapter 12 Companions
Rose was a bit uncomfortable about asking, but they were such a big part of his lives, she wanted to know them.
He began, "Just to tell you about them wouldn't do them justice. I wouldn't be where I am without them, and for some, I wouldn't be here at all. They are all so important to my lives, I can't separate it, from them. And we don't have the time for me to tell you such a long story." He stopped to think for a moment. "There is a way for you to really know them as I have. I would like to try, but it may be difficult for you. I want you to see it all." Rose smiled remembering just how far she had come since their wedding day.
"Yes, I think I can handle it by now." "Good." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He put his palms on her temples. Rose had already closed her eyes and opened the door to her mind. Excited that he was about to show her something extraordinary again.
Then, suddenly, she could see it. The moments in all his lives. Flying by her like a flickering movie screen. Hearing only key parts of the dialog as it slowed for a phrase, and then sped up again. She did not understand all she saw, and it went by so quickly she didn't have time to question it. Everything. From a small lonely child in a barn to the solitary man unable to stop losing those he cared about.
The loss of his father. The 8-year-old boy and the untempered schism. His struggles at the academy, his friendship with The Master, the terror of the cloister wraiths, His wife and son. The pain of her loss. His son's achievements at such a terrible price. Choosing his Tardis and running away with his granddaughter.
Scores of monsters, a hundred alien species, a thousand worlds. Danger and rescue, death and triumph. His companions, one by one, as if they were there with her. Susan, Polly, Ben, Liz, the Brigadier, Sarah Jane, Leela, Romana, Tegan, Peri, Mel, and many others. Why and where and when he took them on, and how they all left him.
The bonds of friendship and love he couldn't express to them. The devastation and loneliness of losing them. The countless times he risked his life and the lives of others to do the right thing. In trouble with Gallifreyan authorities. Exile on earth. Recruitment by the CIA. On trial for his life, sentenced to death and then redeemed.
Then the war came. It was hard to watch, but she was fascinated. He held back the worst carnage of the war but showed her the rest. Near death on Karn, The Medusa Cascade, the Tantalus Eye, Skull Moon, the gates of Elysium, Arcadia. Countless worlds lost, with massive numbers of refugees migrating to wherever they could to survive.
Deadly weapons and hopeless battles being fought and lost and resurrected through time to fight and die again and again. Resurrection by the Sisterhood of Karn, Rassilon's plan to make the Time Lords creatures of consciousness alone. And then the end. An old man in a barn with the ultimate weapon, who cried "No More" one last time, before paying the ultimate price.
Blinding light and pain, reborn again, then running. Running from his past. Running from his guilt. Trying to make amends by saving those he could. Hoping for absolution from the dead, that will never come.
She experienced his regeneration cycle again and again. Every atom of your body being torn apart, set on fire and melting, being molded into someone else. Waking up from it, and briefly not knowing who you are until your brain and memories catch up.
He had lived and learned and loved and lost and been reborn 11 times. They were all there to meet her. All different, with their own personalities and perspectives, and yet the same. Splinters of a whole, manifested in multiple forms. She recognized only one. The one she had started her journey with, so long ago, and thought she had lost forever. The joy of meeting him again and then truly understanding he had never left.
She had seen and felt everything. The burdensome weight of being alive for 900 years.
Then, the spell was broken, and she opened her eyes. It had only taken just over twenty minutes to download 900 years. Dizzy, trying to remember it all. He knew she couldn't. It was too much for her human brain to hold. He was glad. He didn't want her to remember it all. Only time would tell how much would stay with her.
Humans have the gift of forgetting. She will remember only the best of it. And even that will fade in time. He was concerned she might have some side effects. It was a lot for a human to go through. She laid on the ground staring at the sky. "Rose? Rose, are you all right?" He asked gently. She didn't answer. "Rose please look at me."
He was relieved and smiled, when she turned her head and looked up at him. "You know it all now," he said. "Everything I am or have ever been. No one will ever know me as you do now. Tell me you still love me."
Rose sat up to look in his soft brown eyes, puzzled. She smiled and replied, "You just don't believe it do you? For better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish for as long as we both shall live. You may be the one who is nearly immortal, but I will love you until the end of time."
He was overjoyed. "Oh Rose, my Rose. I love you so." He cradled her in his arms and gently kissed her cheek. Beyond grateful to whatever fate had brought them together.
Back at home Rose had a lot to think about. She had so many questions about what she had seen. Some of it, so splintered and confused, just didn't make sense. She spent many days trying to put some order to her thoughts and feelings about what she had seen. Especially about the war. She thought to write it all down so it could be organized into something understandable. But it would be dangerous for him if someone else read it. Such a book would be like a road map to his life. Giving the reader a special insight into his mind and motives. In the end she decided it didn't matter. She knew the man she loved and that was enough.
Day to day there wasn't a lot to do besides household chores. After being here for more than a year it was a bit of a challenge staying amused. He had a whole library of books to read, but they were in his native language and she couldn't read them.
The Tardis would translate those written in other languages, but they were all about the issues with some far-off world she would never see. There were a few in english, but she had gone through the ones she liked. He had said he would teach her how to read Gallifreyan, but never got around to it. Her only other avenue of amusement was asking him questions about his life. Rose remembered he had said these colonists were lost in the time war. She wondered if he would be willing to tell her more.
The days chores were done, and they needed a break. They went out for a walk to see where the river behind the house came from. A small pond with a waterfall was not far from the house. It was quite beautiful, and they sat down in the grass under a tree to admire it. The sun was hot that day and a natural for a swim. The water was cold and clear down to the bottom. They swam and splashed in the water like children. Getting out only when they got chilled. Dressing and laying in the sun relaxing.
Rose thought it might be a good time to ask those questions. She tried to ease into it. "This planet is incredible. You say the colonists were lost in the time war." He nodded silently. An aura of melancholy flowed out of him. "Will you tell me more husband?"
