Disclaimer: I own nothing but the lyrics!
This isn't what I meant it to be (format...sheesh...ah whatever)
Thanks to Falconress for the idea. This is also going into the Oneshots and the Parodies so check those out :)
Nico was teaching Swordfighting 101. Yes. Teaching. Nico. Chiron had put him down for it since he wasn't doing anything else besides occasionally helping Will. And since he was a head counselor, it was about time he did some teaching.
This would end well, all right. Half the class was older then he was. In fact, Percy, Jason, and Leo were watching from the cameras.
Not helpful at all, Nico sighed to himself as he walked to the front of the group. He just had to hope that they wouldn't do something embarrassing to him.
"Alright, listen up, everyone. I'm Nico di Angelo, son of Hades, and the guy who basically killed himself to bring back a giant hunk of gold to stop a war, after taking a trip into the Pit by free will-"
"I never sent you to the Pit, Death Boy!" Will yelled as he passed by, carrying a long roll of bandages.
Nico glared at him."I wasn't talking about or to you, Solace. Now," he turned back to the clas, half of who were ogling or staring in horror, "this is basic swordfighting, so do ignorethe idiots laughing on the sidelines and let's get down the buisness-"
Once again he was interrupted, though this time by Leo starting to sing.
Let's get down to business
To learn fighting stance
Jason picked it up, while Nico growled curses under his breath and started stalking towards them.
Did the gods send mortals, when he asked for sons?
Jason and Leo started harmonizing. By now, Butch Walker from Iris had joined them.
You're the saddest bunch we've ever met
But you can bet before we're through
Oh, he'll make a hero out of you!
"I'm gonna kill you!" Nico growled, pointing his sowrd at Leo's chest. Leo gulped, and he and Butch ran for the Big House. Nico gave Jason and Percy looks of annoyance before goign back to his class.
"Alright, now that certain annoyances are dealt with, let's start. First off: hold your sword with the hand you're most comfortable with. If you're not comfortable iwth your weapen, then whoever led you on your tour either did a terrible job of doing so or you picked out your weapen on your own." Nico said. "Your sword must feel balanced if you want to win a fight-"
Tranquil as a forest, but on fire within
Once you find your center, you are sure to win
Jason and Percy started singing.
Nico groaned as the campers hid their chuckles unsuccessfully.
A Hecate camper raised her hand. "My sword's way too heavy."
Nico went over. Taking a look, he found out it was one of the lightest they had at camp, and he said so. Which cued Percy and Jason to sing again (Percy was doing terribly, but sang harmony so it wasn't quite so obvious)
You're a spineless, weak pathetic lot
And you haven't got a clue
Somehow he'll make heroes out of you
"Not helping!" NIcote yelled at them. Peryc and Jason just laughed. Nico would've threatened to kill them to, but unlike Butch and Leo, these were steadfast warriors and leaders of the two camps. They weren't afraid of the short demigod.
Luckily, Percy and Jason were called to take their shift at the climbing wall, and Nico was left to teach his class in peace. Mostly, anyways.
(linebreak)
When asked by Jason (and a camera) about how well Nico taught his classes, the campers responded with the following:
I'm never gonna catch my breath~Valentina Diaz
My dad is probably gona kill me ~Ellis Whitefield
(yawn) Boy, was I a *yawn* school for cutting gym ~Clovis
Nico's sure got 'em scared to death ~Conner Stoll
Hope he doesn't try to kill me ~Julia Feingold
Now I wish I already knew how to win~Damien White
(linebreak)
Nico was teaching another class. He was starting to get annoyed. Half the class was doing fine, the other half...well, there was a good reason Clovis was still in this class after a year.
Nico really didn't like teaching Hypnos kids anything. They were nice people but when it came to physical stuff...not so much.
And Jason and Percy (and sometimes Butch, Connor, and Leo) had taken to watching him and singing at random times.
On this particular day, Butch, Jason, and Leo were watching, again with the camera. Nico dind't know hwy they kept brinigng it, and he didn't want to know.
"Alright, man up, you gotta move faster then that-" he started to call out as the campers practiced an attack on dummies in the training arena.
(Butch, Leo) Be a man
(Jason)You must be swift as Hermes' hands are
(Butch, Leo) Be a man
(Jason)With all the force of Jaspers' hurricanes
(Butch, Leo) Be a man
(Jason)With all the strength of an Ares camper
(together)Mysterious as the mind of Nicolò!
Nico was seriously starting to debate whether triple (or quintuple) murder was worth the loss of all that desert. Ah well, he barely ate anyways.
"Wait, it's Nicolò? I thought it was Nicholas." Leo blinked.
Jason smirked. "Nope, it's Nicolò."
"I'm not eve going to ask how you knew that." Butch gulped as Nico stormed towards them. "Also, we should run."
The trio ran off. Nico went back to teaching, now in a slightly worse mood then he already was.
(Linebreak)
"The gods are coming for a visit. There'll be a demonstration from each class." CHiron announced.
Nico groaned and slammed his head on the table.
"Careful, Neeks, you can't lose any more brain cells at this point." Percy grinned. His canoeing class was going quite well.
"I'm going to kill you after this, Jackson." Nico growled, heading off to teach his class.
When he got to the arena, he made the announcement grudginly. "The gods are coming, so we've got no time to 've been signed up to do a demo, so anyone who doesn't do well enough is getting cut from the lineup."
Connor and Jason were haniging on the fence nearby, so of course they started singing.
Time is racing toward us, till the gods arrive
Heed his every order, and you might survive
"Urghhh...Alright, pair up, and start going through the different attacks." Nico called out.
Some time into the class, he found himself dealing wiht an Aphrodite camper who was being a bit of a crybaby about how she'd ripped her clothes.
"You're a demigod. You're gonna have your clothes tear up all the time. If you can't handlge that, forget surviving-"
If you're scared to get down in the dirt
Just pack up, don't think you'll survive
How can he make a hero out of you?
"Stoll, Grace, I swear to the gods-"
Connor and Jason fistbumped and went off laughing.
"How are have they not pulled kitchen duty?" Nico muttered, annoyed at their tactlessness. He was probably more surprised that Jason had agreed to singing that, seeing as he was supposedly more mature then the rest of the Greeks, but still...
"Alright, back to work! You can stop gawking!" Nico yelled at the other demigods, who went back to sparring.
(linebreak)
They day where the gods came to visit soon came. Nico was ready to take a trip down to his room in the Underworld already, via his father's embarrassment.
Conner, Jason, Percy, Butch, and Leo weren't helping either. As Nico got his class ready, they were hanging on the fence, singing.
(everyone but Butch) Be a man
((Butch)You must be swift as Hermes' hands are
(everyone but Butch) Be a man
(Butch)With all the force of Jaspers' hurricanes
(everyone but Butch) Be a man
(Butch)With all the strength of an Ares camper
(together)Mysterious as the mind of Nicolò!
Nico facepalmed while nearby, Hermes and Poseidon had a good laugh.
Finally it was time for Nico's class of begineers to start.. And as they demod...
(everyone but Connor) Be a man
(Conor)You must be swift as Hermes' hands are
(everyone but Connor)Be a man
(Conor)With all the force of Jaspers' hurricanes
(everyone but Connor) Be a man
(Conor)With all the strength of an Ares camper
(together)Mysterious as the mind of Nicolò!
The moment it ended, Nico went to go hide his face in his cabin, where he could blast some much more calming music and plot revenge on the quintet of crazy head counselors.
