Lily's mood got worse the closer the Express got to London. She tried to enjoy the last hours on the train as much as she could but it got harder and harder to deny the unwelcoming prospect she was facing - another summer, alone. Summers had been the worst part of being Muggle-born. She knew everybody else got to do magic over the summer all the time, she knew they all got to meet at Diagon Alley using Floo Powder or side-along apparition, and they weren't cut off from the world for two months just because their parents weren't magic. Her Muggle friends? Her parents had told everyone Lily got accepted into some posh boarding school, and when she had returned that first summer with absolutely no knowledge of the latest records or films and having learned nothing about any Muggle subject, she had to stop being friends with them. They all thought she was stuck-up now, anyway. It was dreadful. But at least she had had Severus. At least they could wander the Moors and talk for hours and gossip about the Slytherins and the Gryffindors without feeling pressured to be loyal to their housemates. At least she had not been alone with Petunia. It used to be that she was never alone when she was with him - not just because they were both magic - they were both what Slughorn called "cheeky" and they were both rather cleverer than average, and they both loved reading and spending time in the woods... Her friends had never understood how she could hang around a Slytherin, and this Slytherin of all of them, and she defended him, she said they didn't know him like she does, that he was alright, really, not like the others, and that he doesn't have anything against Muggle-borns, he's friends with her, isn't he, and so on and so on. But in their fifth year, he had really made it hard - acting like something was about to attack him all the time, lecturing her about Potter like she had needed him to tell her he was up to no good. He kept going on about how they were all disappearing all the time, probably doing illegal magic... and then he called what Mulciber's done to Mary a laugh. It was so unlike him and so hypocritical it made her head spin. It wasn't the same. He was weird, and he was hanging around vile people all of a sudden, and he was definitely lying to her about something. People had started to complain that he called them mudbloods, but she did not believe it. Sev? Her Sev? She'd tried. She really did. She had even tried to help him out, and how did he pay her? By proving to her that her friends had been right all along. It was exactly what she had always feared, that others will judge her for being Muggle-born, and he knew it, he knew it , and he said it anyway.

Last summer had been a nightmare. She was not hopeful as she got off the train, saw her parents waving and Petunia sulking. "Why do we have to come all the way here just to go back up?" She complained. Not even a hello. Lily's heart sunk. Two months of this. Two months of Petunia's mockery and avoiding the places she used to love because she couldn't face him. Let him go on and become a Death Eater if he wants, all the other Slytherins are queueing up, aren't they? Dumbledore had already spoken to her in private about the Order. She knew how she would put her talent to use. All she had to do was endure two months.

It was a glorious day when an owl had surprised her (she woke up to Petunia screaming in terror from it). The note had read:

"Now that we can all Apparate we can all meet over the summer. I'm throwing a party. Gryffindors only, so don't worry about anybody calling you names. Just Apparate to the coolest house in Godric's Hollow and we'll all be there. Your favourite Seeker."

She could feel the arrogance radiating all the way from Godric's Hollow to Cokeworth. But he had a point - she had passed her Apparition test, she could go anywhere! Part of her told her that if she'd been a real witch she'd have thought of that herself, and another part of her told her she was a real witch, it was not her fault she'd only got to do or see magic at Hogwarts where Apparition was impossible. She was dying of boredom and frustration. She'd read her books for the next year twice, she'd caught up on all the newspaper clippings her parents had kept for her, there was just nothing to do! She decided to go.

James couldn't believe his luck when Lily actually showed up. He had always known she would warm up to him one day. He was surprised that it took so long even after she'd stopped hanging around Snivellus, but the day had finally come. He could tell she was impressed with his house even if she still didn't admit she liked him. But she did, and he knew it. And he knew she knew it.

One more year... one more year and I'll be out of here, Severus told himself as he boarded the Express with a heavy heart for the last time. He'd told himself the same thing last year too, and twice he nearly died. He hoped against hope that it would be different somehow, this time - but two things stood out. First, it was the last year, no matter what. Second, he had Regulus - he would finally see him again. Summer had been as long as it was depressing, a dull, lonely affair, but at least he'd heard that Reg'd earned five Os, and he was proud of him. He remembered how he threatened Regulus that he had to get at least four - "anything less than twice as good as Sirius and you might as well get all Ts", he told him. Well - he got five Os, two Es, and two A's - that was definitely much better than Sirius had done. As he looked for a compartment to sit in he walked past Lily, and they exchanged glances for less than a second. She hadn't tried to meet with him all summer, even though they were the only witch and wizard in a 100-kilometer radius, it felt like... how could this still hurt? He wished he could just sit with Regulus, but he knew they had to keep their love a secret - nothing good could come of telling anyone about it. They did not even need to discuss it to know that it was a secret.

One more year. Just focus on your NEWTs.

Sirius had himself disowned when he had left 12 Grimmauld Place for the last time, to go live with the Potters. It occurred to him now for the first time that this might present a problem for him - that he might need some money to his name in Gringotts to live once he got out of Hogwarts. Then, his uncle Alphard died, and left him a very nice bit of gold. Look at that, he told himself. Sometimes good things happen to good people. He would be able to join the Order with James, and he would not need to worry about anything. The icing on the cake was that he was sure his parents were shaking with fury about this - but there was not a damn thing they could do about it.

"I have no idea what I'll do with myself when I graduate," Severus complained. "Or where I'll live. It feels like I'll be working for the Malfoys forever, sometimes."

"I wouldn't worry about that," Regulus said. "My inheritance recently doubled in size. I'm sure I'll get mum and dad to buy me a flat."

Doubled? There was clearly a lot Severus didn't understand about the magic of money.

"How did you manage that?!" He asked. "Did you invest in anything, or...?"

Regulus always enjoyed the rare moments when he got to be the clever one.

"Well, I used to have a brother, you see, but I don't anymore, so my inheritance has doubled. And since my erstwhile brother got a flat, I don't think mum and dad will be able to live with themselves if he has something I don't have."

All of this was very nice for Regulus, but Severus wondered: What does it have to do with me?

"And you'll live with me. Wasn't that obvious?"

Severus was stunned...

"I'll still be here most of the time anyway," Regulus said and his voice sounded distant, even though he was right there. There are people who just get flats? And you are one of them. No more Spinner's End? Has he really seen the last of that Muggle slum? Regulus seemed not to notice any of this, as he returned to his copy of the Daily Prophet.

"I wouldn't try for a job at the Ministry, though. They are running out of time over there, those clowns. The Dark Lord will take over... two ministers now, and no one has stopped him, can you believe that?" He monologued. "They're all expecting Dumbledore to save them," he said, emphasizing Dumbledore's name. Both of them rolled their eyes. They knew exactly how Dumbledore protected people.

James and Lily finally started seeing each other, officially. He showered her with gifts, and he made her feel like she was the most special girl in the world. She needed this after the summer she had - ever since she'd lost her friend, she'd been lonely. You don't make new childhood friends , she told herself ruefully. But he'd made his choices, and there was no denying her life had gotten much easier without having to explain why they were still friends all the time. Even so, her heart tugged a little as she was sitting on James's bed, his head on her lap, and they all shared the jokes they'd accumulated over the years, their own secrets, their own lives. Sirius kept staring at a piece of parchment, so angry his brows nearly became conjoined. They still refused to explain to her what that piece of parchment meant.

"What is it?" She asked Sirius.

"Just my former brother," he muttered. "Disgusting... let's see how dear mum and dad like that, what a total idiot, I wish I could punch some brains into his head."

"What did he do?"

"Never mind that, Evans. It doesn't matter, he's only a Dark Arts-loving imbecile like the rest of his house. And my family, of course."

"Oh, stop it. Not all Slytherins are like that," she said, almost as a reflex. The other four exchanged questioning looks. She changed the subject immediately. "And I'm sure your family is not all bad!" She said, trying to encourage him.

"No, they are," he corrected her wearily. "Let's say they wouldn't step up in your defence. So there is no reason why you should try to defend them."

"If you say so..."

"What do you mean about the Slytherins?" James asked her. "As far as I'm concerned, they can all -"

"Nothing! It's just -" Lily did some very quick thinking. "Slughorn's always been nice enough, hasn't he?"

"Oh, big deal," Peter chimed in. "You're his Potions star, of course you'd say that. He barely learned my name in five years. Or Lupin's."

A sad smile flitted across Lily's face.

"Don't be sad because people here don't appreciate you," James told her. He did know how to make her feel good...

When she had gone to her dorm, Sirius and James did not need to discuss it to know that Snivellus was overdue for a night in the hospital wing.

"This is for you, Lily Evans!" James Potter shouted as he soared for the Snitch, his broomstick nearly vertical, his arm stretched out so high up he nearly dislocated his shoulder.

Regulus flew faster and higher, and when he was shoulder to shoulder with James, he took both hands off the broomstick, held it only with his legs, and reached with both hands for the Snitch as the crowd went silent, and even Sirius stopped talking.

It was not a very sunny day, but looking so high up made it impossible for everyone to see what was happening without squinting. Surely, the two seekers had to be straining their eyes to see the tiny golden Snitch, as well.

Regulus's broomstick slipped from between his legs and both broomstick and former rider started falling - surely, he was going to die as soon as he hit the ground, falling from that height.

Everybody stared, frozen, even James, as Regulus plummeted. James, who had become such an accomplished caster of Levicorpus, did not use it now, nor did anybody else. The crowd watched helplessly, as Regulus twisted mid-air, as the referee conjured a mattress at the last possible minute, and as Regulus landed on his feet and collapsed on the ground with his knees, his right hand making a fist. He hit the mattress forcefully, and he did not get up, but merely raised his hand in the air to signal that he was alive, conscious, and victorious - the Golden Snitch sparkled and fluttered in his hand, trapped under his thumb. James Potter landed next to him and shook his head in disbelief.

Severus watched James walk toward Lily with his head down, watched her wrap her arm around his slumped shoulder and him shake it off and sulk, and he watched the referee holding his hand out for Regulus to take and stand up. Regulus stood up gingerly and he was fine, he was fine, he had done it - just as Severus knew he would. He alone was not worried. Finally, the Slytherins, as a collective, let out a deafening roar of applause. Hope you like your present, Reg, Severus thought, smirking to himself and struggling to contain his unsuppressable delight.

Weeks had turned into months, and the months came and went. Severus's resentment remained constant, however. Potter, on top of being named Quidditch captain, was named Head Boy, and Severus was positive that this was intended to lend credibility to the farcical idea that James had saved him out of heroism. Otherwise, it made absolutely no sense - Potter had always behaved as though obeying the rules was a character flaw. Potter played the part convincingly enough when it came to everyone else, but he still found the time, between school work, Quidditch, and performing his head boy duties, to attack Severus. Worst of all, Potter's charm offensive had finally wore Lily down. It felt like he was twisting the knife, like both of them were. That feeling, that he was nothing, that he never mattered, was like a boot stomping on his heart. Even that did not stop Potter from the occasional hex, even if he did make an effort to conceal it.

He already has Lily, what the fuck does he want from me? Severus asked himself, to no avail.

He did not know that these attacks were not random. He did not know that they always followed something Lily had said that made James suspicious. She did not even have to speak - he knew what she was thinking of, when somebody would bring him up, and she would suddenly change the subject or even find an excuse to leave the room. The idea that Lily missed her former best friend was unbearable to James - he had stopped hexing people, had he not? He could have had any girl he wanted, but he had chosen her, and he did not call her a mudblood, so what more could she want from him? Why did she not just forget about him? I have loved her since our first year, why does she not love me like I love her? He did not share his anger and confusion with her, of course. It was between him and the overgrown bat. That overgrown bat will pay, James told himself, every time. He could always rely on his friends, at least - especially Sirius. Sirius knew exactly what Snivellus was - a greasy, slimy, oily, Dark Arts loving snake, Lucius Malfoy's little pet, who had the nerve to go after Sirius's brother. If it felt sometimes like the cloak didn't work on with him as well as it did on everybody else, that only proved what they already knew - he was up to his eyeballs in the Dark Arts and he deserved every bit of punishment he got.

Graduation loomed large. Severus closed the door behind him as he left Slughorn's office after yet another disappointing meeting with his head of house. He had always felt as though Slughorn was a bit embarrassed that the half-blood from Spinner's End was sorted into his house, that he took some perverse pride in only having members of the old magic families in his house, and that people with the last name Snape had ruined it.

"You're a fine wizard, Snape," Slughorn had pronounced him, "I assume you are here to ask me for a reference for a future job."

I'm here because I have to be here , Severus thought.

"I would have been happy to give you a reference, but I cannot do it in good faith. You must learn to work with people, you have to learn how to network, how to present yourself, or you will never be as successful as you can be. Do you understand?"

It was rich, coming from Slughorn. He had the decency to invite the top brewer of the year to his little club once, or twice, maybe three times, but he stuck out like a sore thumb at these little gatherings, with nothing to add to the conversation about whose father-in-law had worked with whose uncle, twice removed, and his refusal to be impressed with the fact that rich purebloods knew other rich purebloods. When Slughorn had taken the Gryffindors' side, just to make life easier for himself, after what Sirius had done to him, it was all the proof Severus had needed: people with the last name Snape were a nuisance to Slughorn. It was the final nail in the coffin when Severus had lost Lily - he was not going to make an effort to enter into any room that had her in it, just so he would get to watch Slughorn fawn over the brilliant Muggle-born of Gryffindor (who, as a Gryffindor, was given clemency for the crime of not coming from noble stock), and avoid meeting her eye.

Obtuse as Slughorn was, it was sound advice. He knew he was guaranteed a job at the Malfoy apothecary, he knew the value of Slughorn's Ministry connections was about to drop significantly, and he knew the House of Black had produced one person who appreciated his talent. As he walked down the hallway, away from Slughorn's office, he resolved to prove him wrong.

The NEWTs had come and gone. Severus's time at Hogwarts was finally coming to an end. He did not have a concrete plan, but he had a place to live, and he would share it with Regulus for two glorious months before Regulus would have to return to school. As they sat on the floor in their dungeon for the last time, it struck Severus that by some miracle he had managed to find something about this place he would miss. In this room, Regulus had noticed him for the first time. In this room, he had read Severus's mind and broken the silencing charm. Here, he and Regulus Black were equals. In this room, he belonged, he was loved, he could be brave, and he could love with impunity, no matter what James, Sirius, or even Dumbledore himself had to say about it.

Suddenly, Regulus said: "I wish I didn't have to return next year."

Both of them knew very clearly that Regulus would have to return.

"I'm really going to miss you when you're not here. I might die of boredom."

"I'm sure you'll get used to not spending so many nights in the hospital wing with me. Just don't forget me next year, will you?"

Regulus smiled.

"Maybe I will forget you. Maybe I'll meet another wizard who survived a werewolf and can make his own spells."

For the hundredth time, Severus tallied up how much trouble he had caused Regulus, and how many times Regulus had insisted on staying by his side, on fighting for the truth. Tears filled his eyes again, but it was so different, so different from that first time.

"Thank you, Reg. For everything."

Regulus suddenly thought back to who he was less than two years ago. The Regulus who had walked into that very room to find Severus crying had been insufferably naive, ignorant, unremarkable, and well on his way to becoming another self-satisfied Black and accomplishing nothing. Now he knew he would never be the same, and he had Severus to thank for it - everyone else had always let him get by on his family name alone, but only Severus knew who Regulus really was, and only he had ever challenged him.

"I wouldn't have had it any other way", Regulus announced, and he was certain and confident as only he could be.