Chapter Thirteen

March 2001

"Hey guys, hey guys, hey guys!" Alice said cheerfully as she let herself in the kitchen door.

They groaned. Any time Alice popped back up in there lives, it meant one thing and one thing only…torture. In the form of new choreography. "Yes, dear wee one?" Emmett asked with another groan.

She looked at him. "Please don't tell me you got shit faced last night."

Jasper grinned as he poured himself a cup of coffee. "Sugar, we just got back from a freakin' world tour. We're tired. And we wanted to celebrate."

She rolled her eyes. "Well, where's the rest of your cohorts?" She asked.

"I dunno." Jake said around a large cinnamon roll. He swallowed and said, "I think Carlisle's on the phone with someone. And Edward…god only knows where he is."

Alice gave him a grim smile. "Is she here?"

Jasper shook his head. Alice was Bella's friend. They had grown even closer as time went on, and now that Tanya had started making her appearance known even more, Alice had decided that she supported Bella.

Besides, no one could be as virginal as Tanya. She still wouldn't let Edward touch her. Not that he wanted to…poor Edward had been living a life of celibacy thanks to her continued presence.

"Good," Alice stated.

"But she's flying in today." Jake said sadly. "She's got a limo bringing her to the set."

Alice let out a curse, much to Emmett's amusement. She flipped him off and flopped down next to him, laying her head on his shoulder.

"So, pixie-pie, what's on the agenda?" He asked.

She smiled up at him. "Awww…Emmy! I didn't know you knew words like 'agenda'."

Jasper let out a snort of laughter and clutched his head. "Damn it, Alice, don't be so funny first thing in the morning."

She laughed. "Serves you right for going out and getting drunk. Jake isn't."

"That's because he had babysitting duty!" Emmett said with a laugh of his own.

"It's not like that…" He said, blushing slightly. "I'm always eager to help…"

"Who…?" Alice started.

"Edward's oldest sister, Esme, you remember her? She decided the memories of home were too hard to bear. She sold her house and is moving in down here in Nashville. Their younger sister came to help her move and she stayed here yesterday afternoon all day with the little baby and Jake had to stay and help!"

"It really wasn't any trouble. For some reason, I'm good with kids. It's weird…" Jacob didn't dare admit what he and Nessie actually did while Foster was down for his nap.

There were only four years between them, but that made a difference in the real world. Only two more years, well, almost three, and she'd be legal. Then, they could let their relationship be known.

And though she claimed to know what she wanted, he'd put his foot down about certain…physicality's. Kissing, or rather, 'making out' was semi-acceptable, but when they got too far into it, he had to be the grown up and stop them. It was hard, and more than once, he'd had to go rub one out to find some relief, but it was worth it. She was worth it.

"So," Alice said, tossing her legs over Jake's lap, bringing him back to the present, "Let me tell you what I envision for this video…"

They groaned again.

Carlisle, meanwhile, was busy on the phone…with Esme. "I want to see you. Helping you yesterday was not enough. I need to be with you…"

"Carlisle…I understand. But with my new job starting and your life as hectic as it is…" She thought she heard Foster stirring and took the cordless phone down the hall to investigate.

"Don't, Esme. You don't need to work. Come on tour with us, you and Foster both. Please, I just need you with me."

She sighed as she looked at her child sleeping in his bed. They had managed to get both their bedrooms set up yesterday. The movers were coming today to finish the work. "I'm sure you can find a nice young thing to screw, Carlisle."

He stiffened at her crude language. He'd told her about his conquests. They were fewer than Edward's, but he felt she should know. She hadn't been quite as forgiving as he had anticipated. "Essie, love, you know how I feel about you. I want you, just you."

"You have a rather poor way of showing it." She pointed out.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, a habit he believed he picked up from Edward. "Look, you're right, I'm sorry. I said I would wait…but I didn't realize that meant physically as well. I am a man. But if that's what you want, I'll do that. I'll…what? Save myself for you? I'll go a year if you want me to…"

He paused, waiting with bated breath for her to say something…so he was surprised when she laughed. "Carlisle, you are a silly thing."

Wait, what, he thought. "Excuse me?"

He could all but hear the smile in her voice. "I need reassurance, Carlisle. You don't get beaten down as much, for as long as I have without needing some kind of guarantee in life. You want me? You would be willing to wait for me?"

"Yes, a hundred times, yes, Esme. I'm…I think I might be falling in love with you."

She let out a gasp. They had been talking on the phone at least once a week since Charles had died, and in the past two months, they had been talking once a day. He was paying out the arse for phone calls, but it was worth it.

"I love you, Esme. I love Foster. I want you both. I want you both for eternity. And…" He lowered his voice some. "And when the time is right, I'd love nothing more than to make you both Cullen's."

She sniffed back a tear. "Carlisle…" She bit her lip. "Well, you'll have to prove your worth, Carlisle. I'm not going to jump on the marriage train again without some sort of backup plan."

He felt his insides burn even as his fists clenched. "I would never hurt you, Esme. Nor Foster."

"Time will prove that, Carlisle. I've been hurt. But I'm my father's daughter. I'm a shrewd business woman. I'll guard my heart and protect my son from the world now that I'm free of that bastard. And nothing will stand in that way. I may l-love you, somewhat, perhaps, but I'm going to need to be…"

"I swear to you, Esme. I'll never let you down. I'll never break your heart…"

She gave him a watery sounding laugh. "Don't you dare start quoting your song lyrics to me, Carlisle Cullen."

He blushed somewhat, for he actually was working on a song for his lovely Esme…one he hoped would be on the next album. "Well…I…I've written something…it's still in its planning stages…but…can I sing it for you?"

"You've written a song? For me?"

"You are the basis for it, yes."

"Oh, Carlisle…"

He cleared his throat and sang softly,

You need me like I need you
We can share our dreams coming true
I can show you what true love means
Just take my hand, baby please

I'll be the one
I'll be the light
Where you can run
To make it alright
I'll be the one
I'll be the light
Where you can run
I'll be the one

He stopped and waited. A few moments passed and she said, "It's beautiful."

"They are mere words without the feelings you evoke behind them. I do love you, Esme. I want to be there for you. I want to be the one."

Her reply was so soft, if he hadn't been listening for it, he would have missed it. But she said, "Okay."

If he were more like Emmett, he would have whooped for joy, but being the slightly calmer, more reflective type, said only, "Esme, I swear to you, you'll never regret it."

"I'd better not." She said, sniffling again.

He smiled. "I need to go. Alice is here to go over our choreography. We're filming outside of town in a converted warehouse. I'll talk to you tonight, okay?"

"Come over." She said, softly once more. "After you shake them off. Come over. I…I'm…I…"

"Esme," He said, stopping her. "I'll come over, and I'll be there, in whatever way you want me tonight."

"That's the problem." She told him. "I want you."

He chuckled. "That doesn't sound like a problem to me…"

"I'm scared." She admitted.

"I am too, this is so unreal…so hard for me to believe…but I do feel this way…I do want you, Esme, for forever."

"I'm not used to anyone loving me, Carlisle. It may take months yet…"

"I don't care. You're really ready for this, and I'm ready for it too, in whatever capacity I can get it."

"Let's…I don't want to tell Edward, not yet."

"I understand." He told her. "I'm not quite ready for Edward to know yet either. Besides, he has enough on his mind."

She groaned. "That's right. Tanya's coming in, isn't she?"

"Unfortunately, yes, she is."

"No one likes her." It wasn't a question.

He paused. "It's not that, it's just…we're on Edward's side of things, even if he is a bit of an arse.

She laughed. "Be that as it may, I do care for Tanya, Carlisle. I've seen her grow up. She's…it's complicated." She sighed then. "When will she see that she isn't meant to be with him? Either that, or when will Edward grow up and tell her he doesn't love her? That he…" She clamped her mouth shut.

"That he what?" Carlisle prodded.

"Nothing, Carlisle. You go, do your thing with Alice. Come see me after the video is finished tomorrow night."

"Would you…" He was almost shy as he asked. "Could you keep Foster up so I could help you tuck him in? I'll sing him to sleep. He likes that."

She felt tears rolling down her cheeks. Foster was quite taken with Carlisle, with all the boys really. He was closing in on a year old and his personality was becoming quite interesting, mostly hers, the Masen bloodline ran thick through him, thankfully. "Of course. I know he'd…like that, Carlisle."

"Thank you, Esme. Until tonight." He sat the phone down and heard a "Well, well. What do you know?"

He looked up to find Jasper standing at the door, a smirk upon his face. "Alice is waiting."

"Jazz…" He started.

Jasper held up a hand. "I didn't hear nothin', or rather, I don't want to have heard nothin'. What you're doing…keeping this from Mount Saint Edward is a smooth move. He's on edge. He's gonna blow his top soon if he doesn't get some sort of a release. Hell, at this point I'd be willing to buy him a damned whore for the night."

Carlisle chuckled flatly. "Jasper…he's not that bad."

"Did you forget about Germany? That shit won't cool."

Carlisle rubbed his face where the bruise was still fading. He'd said something, and it wasn't even that stupid, surely Emmett had said worse, and Edward had snapped, clocking him on the cheek. Luckily, one of the backup dancers was good with makeup and hid it from the press. Edward had felt bad about it…but it still happened. Carlisle sighed. "Yeah, well, it's done now."

Poor Edward was, in fact, about to lose his cool. He was sick and tired and he knew he needed to just tell Tanya to fuck off. But how? He sighed as he headed down the stairs. Phil was already there, talking animatedly with Alice and Laurent, who had easily became their go-to guy for directing.

He smiled at them and sat next to Jake, who, for some reason, had started being quite nervous. Guess I'm not the only one with shit going on in their lives, Edward thought. He vowed then and there to attempt to be more active in his friend's lives.

"So, what's the plan, Alice? Because I'm sure you have a plan." Edward asked her.

She smiled. "Okay, here's what I see. The five of you. No one else. Nice clothing, about, five different costume changes, but I think in some of the shots we need you guys in white suits, jewel toned shirts. What do you think, Laurent?"

He beamed at her. "I often wonder why I do not have you as my assistant, Alice, love."

She grinned. "Because you can't afford me."

He snorted. "This is true, but I can not help but want you. You would have been a blessing on the last HotP video instead of that perfect cow Victoria Langston and her choreography."

Alice winced. It was well known that Victoria Langston was one of the best choreographers in the biz, though, Alice was much nicer. Victoria was, in essence, a total bitch. "Yeah, well, you get what you pay for. And what you pay for from Vicky is bitching."

That caused a round of laughter and Emmett grabbed Alice in a hug. "We wouldn't want anyone else but you, pixie pie. There ain't nobody else but you."

She rolled her eyes. "Thanks, Em." She clapped her hands together. "Okay, boys, let's go get started. We'll work on your moves while Laurent has his girls gather up the stuff for your costumes."

The five groaned once more, but jumped up to do her bidding. It was worse on you if you didn't go along with her.

After the video had been shot the following day, the guys were all ready to let off some steam. Jake, Emmett and Jasper were going to play some pool at the house, (Ness had flown out that morning), Edward…was stuck with Tanya, and Carlisle was sneaking off to visit with Esme.

He grinned as he slipped into the Mercedes, his car of choice. He loved his car. It was everything he'd ever wanted. And he'd paid cash for it. He let the windows down and opened the sunroof and let the wind blow through his blond waves.

He smiled as he finally pulled into Esme's driveway. It was late. He hoped she had kept Foster up like he'd asked her to. He wasn't sure how, but he'd fallen in love with the little guy. He had a great personality. He was already standing and scooting along furniture and babbling about nothing anyone could understand and he was so damned...Whoa, Carlisle…you're getting yourself saddled with a woman and a kid? How did that happen? He wasn't sure. But he thought he was going to like it.

He practically leapt from the car and dashed up the steps to the front porch. His smile grew as he knocked on the door and felt his heart leap as she came to the door, Foster on her hip. "Hi," She said shyly.

"Hi," Carlisle said breathlessly. He held out his hands for Foster, who eagerly reached for him. "Hey, little man. How are you today?"

Foster giggled and blew a raspberry at him, causing Carlisle to chuckle. "Are you ready to go to bed?"

Foster yawned at him, clearly giving him his answer. "Alrighty then, let's get you to bed. You want me to sing a song?"

Foster reached out his hand and put it on Carlisle's face and reached in to kiss him, earning another laugh from Carlisle. "Very well then, let's go." The two were so interested in each other, Carlisle didn't notice the tears in Esme's eyes as he carried her son up the steps for bed.

On the other side of town, Edward stopped before a rather nice looking building, but Tanya's nose had curled into a sneer. "Edward…why are we stopping here?"

He just looked at her. "You wanted to go out to dinner…?"

"But…but not here, Edward!"

He looked at the building. He'd heard around town that this place had some of the best food, even if it was rather high priced. "But…it's one of the best in town…"

"Edward," She said, as if she were talking to a child. "This place is named after an animal."

He looked at the sign and smiled. "The Wild Boar" was high-end, some of the highest in town, but the name, he supposed, detracted from the place. Emmett would have loved to have eaten at some placed called "The Wild Boar."

He sighed. "I'm sorry, Tanya. It's the crème de la crème around here. It's some of the best Nashville has to offer."

She let out a 'humph' of indignation and crossed her arms, clearly unhappy with this turn of events. "Very well. If you insist."

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed once more. Tonight, he thought to himself. Tonight I have to be finished with this. I'm tired, I'm miserable, and she's slowly bleeding what life I have left completely out of me. I didn't live through heart surgery to be completely fucked for the rest of my life.

He cleared his throat and stepped out of his Aston Martin. The car was a bit pretentious, but he loved it. He walked around and helped Tanya out, glaring at the valet as he went, as if saying, "Fuck up this car, I fuck you up."

He led her in and took her wrap from her, giving it to the woman at coat check, earning a wink from her. He felt his cock twitch and he groaned as he took Tanya's elbow and led her to the maitre d, who, having recognized Edward, immediately sat them.

Edward looked over the menu with a bored expression. This was the kind of food Tanya and his parents loved. He, Lynessa, and Esme were more normal in their tastes. Lyn loved pizza, Esme was addicted to cheeseburgers, and Edward…he was a fan of Mexican food. He sighed once more, but ordered the Tasmanian abalone, the Georgia quail and the prosciutto in black truffle vinaigrette. Tanya ordered the same and Edward ordered one of the finest bottles of wine the restaurant offered.

Once the waiter brought back the wine, Tanya said, "Let's toast."

He was wary, but raised his glass. "To?" He asked.

She smiled. "To your success, of course, and to our pending marriage."

He cleared his throat. "Yes, about that…" He sat his glass down, taking her hand. "Tanya…you know that I do care for you, yes?"

She nodded. "Of course, Edward," she said with a smile.

His hand ran through his hair again. "And we've known each other a long time…"

Again she nodded, but suddenly, her eyes were sharpening, as if she had an inkling as to what he was going to say.

"But, Tanya, do you think that perhaps we don't love each other…that way?"

Her nostrils flared and her eyes narrowed. "This is about that Swan bitch, isn't it?"

His brow furrowed. "Bella?"

She threw her arms up into the air dramatically. "Come on, Edward! She. Wants. You. I could see it a mile away. She's a user. She's using that poor Newton guy and next she'll dig her claws into you!"

"Wh-wait, what?" He asked.

She let out something that sounded like a growl. "You can not be that stupid, Edward. She only wants you for your status. You are the next great thing…and she's…she's like a fucking leech!"

Edward's eyes popped. He'd never heard Tanya mutter as much as an 'oh darn' and certainly nothing quite as hard core as 'fuck'. "Tanya…there is no need to bring her into it…she's just an innocent bystander in all this and…"

She snorted. "Innocent? She's innocent? Then why was there a sex tape of her and Newton leaked out onto the internet?!"

He felt his heart plummet. Of course, he had known that Bella and Mike had…most couples did have sex…but the thought of that jackass having his hands on Bella, his dick in her…he shook his head. No, focus, Edward. He looked back at the woman seething across from him. "Tanya, what she does in the privacy of her own bedroom is hardly our business. The fact remains that you and I…I'm just not sure…I mean, we're great friends, and I had hoped…well, our fathers had hoped…" He blew out a breath.

"Edward, you are not leaving me." She stated flatly. "My father will kill your music career if you do!"

The sneer was on his face before he could stop himself. "Blackmail? Isn't that beneath you, Tanya?"

"Fuck you, Edward."

He couldn't quite help smiling at that. So finally, he had broken through her rich girl, hoity-toity shell and exposed the monster within. And now…well, now he felt like being a little bit mean. He snorted. "Fuck me? What the hell do you think I've wanted you to do to me, Tanya? You're saving yourself for marriage? What a load of bullshit is that? I know about you and Freddie Princeton in high school."

Her mouth fell open and he smirked his trademark smirk. "Oh, yeah…I knew about that shit. But I didn't say anything about it because you took that fucking oath the next fucking month and you sounded like you meant it. So…I went along with it. But the questions begs asking…are you that bad of a lay that poor old Freddie had to go gay?"

Her eyes narrowed again. "You bastard!" She stood, tossed her wine into his face, and marched away from the table.

The smirk slid off his visage as he rubbed the two thousand dollar wine from his face and off his clothes. Hell, that wasn't exactly how I wanted to…He stood and hurried out to the coat check. She couldn't have gone far. He really did like Tanya. They had grown up together. He just…didn't feel anything else for her.

He looked in the window of the coat check and motioned for the girl to come closer. "Excuse me; did you see the woman with me? Did she pick up her wrap?"

"Strawberry hair? Pissed off?" The girl asked.

Edward groaned. "Yeah, that's her."

"I saw her asking the maitre d for a cab. I was on break. I don't know if she got her coat or not."

Edward sighed. Great. She's probably on the way to the airport now, or on the way back to the house. Not wanting to be a part of her hysterics, and certainly not back at the house where everyone could watch, he leaned back against the wall.

"Sir? Are you okay?"

He looked at her name tag. Leslie, it read. He blew out a breath through his nose. "No, not really."

"Did she dump you?" She asked sympathetically.

"No, I, uh, I guess I kinda…I mean…yeah…huh. I guess I kinda dumped her."

"Tough breaks. Another couple was in here earlier and broke up as well. Rough night, I guess…" She trailed off as he looked at the lovely trail of her ivory neck sliding down into the collar of her starched shirt. His mouth pooled with saliva. Her eyes met his and he thought to himself, fuck it.

He was thrusting violently into Leslie, her legs wrapped around his waist, in the back of the coat closet when he heard, "I never really thought Kate was telling me the truth."

He froze and all but tossed the woman in his arms to the floor as he flipped around to look at Tanya. "Tan…"

"Don't, Edward. I may have made a mistake in high school, but I have been faithful to you. When Kate said she saw you and some woman down in Dallas when she was visiting Garrett, I never really thought…but then, I'm just silly, stupid Tanya, right? I followed you and hoped and prayed you'd stop the shit and come home and be the man your father wants you to be…the man I want you to be. But you aren't. You'll never be. And…I'm too good for you."

"You are," He whispered. "Tan, I'm sorry…I just…I don't…"

She held up a hand. "Please don't tell me you don't love me. I don't need to hear how I've wasted all of mine and your time chasing after a dream, a stupid, silly, utterly ridiculous notion that you would be the one waiting for me at the end of the isle while I stood in my white Valentino gown…so, no, just save your breath. I may not be innocent, but I damn sure am a better person than you." And with that, she turned and stalked away.

He blew out a breath. To his surprise, Bella came out of the shadows. "Oh, Edward," She said softly. "What have you done?"