A/N: I know. I know. My deepest apologies for the long (unusual) wait, but I had to make these guys some justice. Few things that happened while you were waiting: this story has 100 reviews and nearing 16,000 view. Wow guys. Your public and silent support in this universe is very appreciated, so thank you. You are welcome to visit the the review feed or my PM if you feel like it.
While I usually try to combine their story arcs, this particular chapter is very Logan centeric, it just is. But it's just as important. It's still a Rogan fic, but people come into your life for a reason. Totally nervous about this one. FlowerGirl - you and your inbox are god sent and everyone should know.
March 2012
~California~
Feet up in the air, head pointing down towards the ground. Logan hangs upside down on the monkey bars. His abs brunt from the effort but he ignored the pain.
"Get down, I can't talk to you when you're like this." Colin's shoes spoke.
"Ben can."
"Ben's special," Came Colin's response. "Are you going to come in?"
Ben was a blessing. He owed him one. Hell, Logan Huntzberger owed his business partner a lot of ones.
There was a time, up until approximately three days ago when Logan didn't think he could step a foot in L.A. anymore. The place where his life turned 180 degrees, twice. Where he fathered his best-concealed dreams. The place where his budding hopes laid to rest.
California was a tainted land wrapped in cellophane.
Upon landing, while Ben pushed him towards Alamo's service desk to rent a car, Logan did his best to convince his friend they should just take the car back to Seattle.
Or watch a 'Lakers' ballgame.
His tall friend had none of it. Logan wondered if it was some quality enabled by fatherhood. Because, more often than not, Logan was damn good at bending people to his wants.
Now, Ben was on his way back to Seattle. With the new deal in the pipe, they couldn't afford both of them gone from the office anymore. Logan and Ben joked there must be a mani-pedi party going on at the office. Joke aside, he didn't think it was farther from the actual truth.
Mitchum Huntzberger always said the mice were partying while the cat was gone.
"Well?" Colin's voice cut through Logan's thoughts.
"You haven't seen me on the spin-around yet. I can go for three and a half minutes before I get sick."
Two days passed and Logan still couldn't bring himself to enter the medical facility. The playground was Logan's fort, for now. He was stalling.
Sunnyside Retreat. It sounded like an all-day breakfast joint. It came highly recommended by his mother. Mali Rosen made sure that he'd know. Logan detested Chelsea's mom.
Colin didn't look amused. Quite frankly Colin looked completely fed up.
"I'll recruit enough gumption, eventually," Logan couldn't sound more reluctant if he tried. "Do you have a smoke?"
Getting sucked into Chelsea's atmosphere was daunting. Mostly because he wasn't sure how he'll come out the other end. He can't remember a time where he and Chelsea didn't orbit around each other. Whenever she crossed his path, he got caught up in her meteor shower.
It was magic while she cursed his sky, in her wake, it left a trail of distraction and a carter in his heart.
"Logan, substance abuse is a little inappropriate at the moment," Colin's foot tapped impatiently.
No, Colin McCrae didn't envy Ben who'd have to deal with the fallout whenever Logan got back to Seattle.
"You know what's inappropriate?" Logan push himself up and jumped off the bars, kicking the sandy ground, "The second I actually had a decent strike at being happy, she goes and sucks me back in. How about that?"
Colin shrugged tucking his hands in his pockets. "Yet you're here."
Logan felt his lung contract, "I don't even know what I'm doing here."
"She's one of us. It's a given." Colin stated simply, braving the glare Logan shoot him. "Look, I was against calling you. I personally think this will do more damage than good. But I was out-voted."
Logan's foot molded patches on the sandy ground. Divided loyalties must suck. Logan wasn't blind to how the collateral damage of him and Chelsea affected his friends. Even if most of the time he did choose to ignore it.
In the division of assets, he seemed to win Colin for his corner, Chelsea got Finn. Finn was just a better dancer he couldn't blame her. Or the Australian for that matter.
"It's an unpopular opinion, but you weren't the only one getting divorced, Logan."
"Whose fault is that?" Logan bite.
"Does it really matter anymore?" Colin wondered aloud, "You moved on."
Of course it mattered.
Logan ran his hand in his hair, "Moving on and getting over is not the same thing."
"I honestly wouldn't know," Colin looked somewhat sympathetic, "But as it happens, you're already here, so will you please go in there - do whatever is you do - and Huntzberger her into getting treatment. She'll only listen to you anyway."
"And then what?"
"Then we can all, finally, go home. Or whatever."
Logan sighed defeated. "I have no idea what to say to her."
"The circumstances are less than brilliant, but maybe it's time you two clear the air."
~w~
Logan was back on the lower set of monkey bars, eyes closed, counting and breathing. He already broke his push-up record earlier today. 20 more he could break his upside-down crunches record too.
After Colin, Finn has had his go at accelerating his pace. Logan won't be pushed around. The Australian returned empty-handed leaving him with a package of smokes. They fell out of his pocket, now laying on the ground.
"Finn must have run out of real-estate for me to re-decorate if he brought in the big guns." Her tone was almost sarcastic. Logan was so startled that if it weren't for his knees hooked over the bars, he'd fall off.
His eyes snapped open, first taking in the metal blue fabric of her tights, over-sized white knitted sweater, then her heart-shaped face framed by her silky blonde hair. Her blue eyes.
His heart thumps hard in his chest.
"Hi, husband."
Logan needed a minute to brace himself. His hands easily secured the ground.
Chelsea Rose, gracefully sat down, crossing her legs in a well-practiced yoga pose. Their faces now leveled mirroring one another. He can't move, he just hangs.
She doesn't look as fragile as he feared she'd look. An unexpected wave of relief washes over him.
"I didn't expect you to come." Her hand reached to crass his face slowly tracing his three days stubble.
"I didn't want to come."
"Did my mother managed to convince you the apocalypse is upon us?" her hand moved onto the hair at the back of his neck.
"I can't seem to shake off the urge to rescue you, I had to make sure you're okay." He admitted, his eyes closed again as her fingers gently scrapped the edge of his skull. He sighs half contently at her touch. The gentle caress of the Californian wind tickles his eyelashes.
The next thing he knows, her lips are on his and he gives in to the familiarity of her.
God, he missed her unexpectedness.
"I think I get you Spiderman fantasy now." Her words killed the magic still buzzing in the soft tissues of his brain when they broke for air. "It's hot."
The wheels in his head still screech from the turbulence turn of events. All he can is focus on her swollen lips. He can still taste her on his lips. Wine gum.
He blinks at her stupid, torn between frowning and chuckling. "Com' on crackpot, help me down."
His abs strain as he pushes himself up. He'll be sore for days. When he sets his feet back on the ground, a safe distance out of her reach, Logan is half surprised they don't hit the ground running.
"What no hug?" disappointment washed over Chelsea's face.
He looked at her pointedly. "Don't push it."
"Fine. If that's how it's gonna be. I see punishment is still in fashion. Where's your watchdog?" Chelsea's eyes scanned the landscape beyond the playground, taking a seat on the nearest swing, "The tall frumpy one."
"Ben." He corrected.
"Yes, Ben. Never liked Ben." She lit one of the cigarettes that fell out of his pocket. "Did I ever tell you that? No? He was so normal."
"The world needs more normal." That's what he liked most about Ben.
"Normal is boring. Normal is overrated. Normal is not why you love me."
Logan set to correct her. They were not going to get into that argument again.
"If you wanna know if he loves you so it's in his kiss." Chelsea beat him into it knowingly, "Cher is never wrong."
Sitting there on the swing in her well-practiced social elite poise, with the white cigarette secured in her thin fingers, Logan could vividly imagine her in a party dress holding a cocktail glass in the other.
Her blue eyes searched his face for the faintest response. Logan kept his expression mild; determined not to give her the satisfaction of irking him.
He leaned against the slide, saying nothing.
Chelsea blew the smoke out of her lungs, "What took you so long? Colin and Finn have been here for days."
"I was busy, cocktailing my sleeping pills with cocaine." If she wanted to get nasty about it - so could he, "You weren't supposed to take the death do us apart thing quite that literally, Chelsea."
"It was an accident." Chelsea Rose clarified. "Not that either of you believes me. Save the lecture."
"It's always an accident with you. Until one day it won't be."
"Are you here talk me into it?"
No. It's been four years, he's gonna kick the habit. She was someone else's problem now. He was faintly aware of a girlfriend lurking somewhere.
"I don't know why everyone is under the false impression I can talk you into anything. It was always the other way around."
"You never needed much convincing." She countered back.
"No, I guess not."
"I love that about you. Your adventurous streak." She averts her eyes, "Don't look at me like that, Logan."
"Like what?"
"You got that silent disappointment face. The one that I can't bear." He doesn't offer her any reassurance that she's wrong. "I could never live up the to the expectations you had of me."
"All I ever expected from you was to be in my corner."
"So did I." Her tone is surprisingly resentful, "You were my best friend and you turned your back on me, I can't begin to explain how that hurt, Logan."
He graced her with a furious glare. "If you want to talk about unrealistic expectations. What goes around comes around."
His words tasted sour in his mouth.
"Fine. I deserved that." She flicked the cigarette ash. "Now, Let's stop pretending you were the one who one got the short end of the stick."
"You cheated on me." Being back here, looking the dulling ache in his heart seemed to intensify. "Just stating the facts here."
"Oh please! We were always cheating on each other! MR. LINE." Her body left the swing, a trail of smoke followed her pacing. "Trust me, Honey, you got the better end of the deal. Your daddy dearest made sure of it."
"That was college," His eyes turned stony, easily deflecting her insult, "You got exactly what you wanted and a lot more than what you deserved."
"Did I?" Her blue eyes narrowed as she drew on the cigarette, "Funny, I don't recall relishing in my nude pictures splashed on each and every single paper in the country. Not to mention the internet." Chelsea's blue eyes blazed with fire, "I'm sorry it's was such an inconvenience for you."
Logan clenched his fists tightly but kept his voice leveled. "You should have at least been more discreet about it. It has nothing to do with me."
"You hypocrite. You didn't even wait for the ink to dry on before you went back to fucking your leggy British sex toy."
Bobbi always rubbed Chelsea the wrong way.
"I never slept with Bobbi, or anyone, while we were married." Logan's clenched jaw indicated he was channeling all the composure he possessed. "Unlike someone else."
"Because that would make you Mitchum Huntzberger. What an unbearable thought." Her words slapped. She looked at him knowingly.
Chelsea Rose always knew to punch him where it hurt the most.
"Fuck you, Chelsea."
"No, fuck you, Logan." Her blonde locks whipped sharply, "I didn't throw you under the Mitchum bus, you went running for him willingly."
Logan bite the inner of his cheek. Chelsea's eyes minimized into resentful narrow slots.
"I don't recall my daddy cuddling me or buying me out of business just to manipulate the prenup. My father disowned me."
He contains his surprise with some difficulty. She seems stunned by her own words too.
Is this is what it's all about?
"Mitchum might be a horrible dad but at least he loves you." Her voice broke, her left hand quickly wiped her right eye. For the first time, he notices she's wearing her wedding ring.
"Shit, Chelsea."
His voice softens considerably, the compelling instinct to hug her wins over.
"He's sick and he doesn't want to see me." Once her hands grab on his shirt, the dam of her tears broke.
"I'm so sorry." He whispers, pulling her closer, kissing the top of her head.
"I never appreciated enough, how no matter wherever you were on the globe, whatever time it was, you'd pick up the phone and talk to me." She sniffs in between teardrops, "You never answer when I call anymore."
Logan sighs, cradling his first everything, his ex-wife closer.
When he looks up over her shoulder, Finn offers him a heavy-hearted shrug.
Accident his ass.
~w~
Their legs are swaying in sync, sitting side by side on the swings. Logan suckled on a fresh cigarette, promising to himself that once back in Seattle he's gonna quite this stress smoking habit.
Chelsea, all cried out, seemed caught up in her own thoughts. Her tights gleamed under the later afternoon sun.
Her rings too.
"You're wearing your rings."
"I used to think they were mocking me." She nervously twists both her engagement and wedding ring around her finger, "Now, it kind of comforting, you know? I have a piece of you with me everywhere I go."
"Mine's in my wallet." He admits, "Doesn't she mind?"
"Tammi's really Zen," Chelsea suckled on her own cigarette, "Under different circumstances, you'd like her."
"Fat chance of that." He responded dryly. "You and Colin have terrible taste in women."
"Yeah, you're not really the one to talk, Huntzberger."
He never answers because he's not in particular rush to indulge her with the details of his love life.
"When do you leave?" She doesn't look at when she asks.
"In a little while." He says softly, "You'll be good?"
"Cross my heart and hope to die," She flicks the butt of the smoke into the sand, meeting his disapproving, gloomy stare, "I pinky swear."
"Was it that horrible? Being married to me?" He finally asks.
"No, being married to you was perfect. I miss us. Everything about it." Chelsea peered at him carefully, if he didn't know better, he'd say longingly. "Ice cream in bed for dinner. Dancing down the stairs in the refrigerator light. Driving half the night for a pitch-black spot to watch a stupid meteor shower… Remember that night?"
"I do." He can't help but feel the corners of his lips tag a little. He and his blue-eye Tinkerbell.
"It's the little things," She continued to muse, "Like your funny socks. How you dive your head under the pillows before you fall asleep, the way your hair sticks out in all directions when you wake."
Logan absentmindedly runs his hand in his hair. His brown eyes held hers.
"I even miss how annoyingly argumentative you are," a momentary brightness flicked in her blue orbs, "And the tingling feeling I get when other women flirt with you."
That makes him chuckle on his last inhale.
The feeling was mutual, which is possibly why the magnitude of her betrayal still resonates through him.
"If it was all so great, what happened to us?"
"One of us, or maybe both of us were changing," Chelsea's fingers brushed lightly against his, "By the time we caught up with it, it was just too late. Though we really did try to make it."
Logan looked at her sadly. They were a perfect storm.
"Divorcing you was awful though," Her metallic legging hangs in the air, "I certainly don't recommend."
"I second that."
Their swings touched closer, their shackles chanting.
"I need you to know that I would have never touched Current. I would have never betrayed you like that. Or get in the way of that." She almost pleaded with him to believe her, "I would have never pushed you back under his shadow."
"Water under the bridge," He feels obligated to reassure her. Partly, because he got it back and because his Huntzberger obligations were never going to dissolve into thin air.
He was slowly coming to peace with it.
"You have your silent disappointed face on again," her palm caressed his stubble, "Your heart was set on things I couldn't give you. I'm so sorry, Logan. I really wish I could."
"Chelsea," He unconsciously leaned into her touch, "Can you do me a favor and try to stay alive until I'm like 70 or something?"
~W~
~Seattle~
A bottle of wine tightly clenched in his hand, Logan Huntzberger stood unsure in front of the familiar door.
Unsure how appropriate his unsolicited visit was. Scratch that, there was no question about how inappropriate it was. Especially this time of night.
"In Omnia Paratus" he muttered under his breath, hesitantly raised his hand and knocked timidly on the wooden board. Forever must have passed from that moment until he heard the locks turning.
He smiled meekly at the woman revealed at the door, "I had a really shitty week."
