A/N: The world has gone mad and I hope you are all holding up okay.

Thank you for all your wonderful support. I hope you enjoy and I look forward to reading every one of your reviews. Usual disclaimer applies.

Chapter 15

Grandma Mazur was standing at the door when I pulled up in front of the semi-detached home I grew up in. I used to think she had some kind of radar that alerted her to the approach of family, but now I think she just likes to stand at the door to see what's happening on the street. After all, this is the Burg, and anything that happens in view of the neighbors is fair game for the gossip mongers.

She held the door open for me as I carried my overflowing laundry basket into the house. "You're just in time, Steph. Your mom and I were just getting ready to have some lunch. We've got cold cuts from Giovichinni's."

"Thanks, Grandma. I need to see if I can do some laundry while I'm here, too." I said, moving past her and further into the house.

"Leave it and I'll do it for you. I've got nothing going on this afternoon, unless you need some help with a take down or something." she said hopefully.

I smiled at the thought and replied, "Sorry, Grandma, I'm not going after anyone else today. But, I bet you could help me with some information. Do you know Bernice Myzak?"

"Sure, I know Bernice. Could never understand why she took to beating on that poor man. At our age, it's hard to find a man who can still function, let alone one with an intimacy enhancement kit. You can play bingo most any time."

That mental image produced a full body shiver before I continued toward the kitchen at the back of the shotgun style house. I said hello to my mother and sat down at the small kitchen table as she pulled the making for the sandwiches from the refrigerator. I knew better than to try to help without being asked. The kitchen was my mother's domain. While she and my grandmother had a routine that almost appeared choreographed and were able to both work in the same small space with ease, I would only get in the way.

Before long we were all seated. We each had our sandwiches of olive loaf and provolone between slices of worthless white bread that had been slathered with mustard and mayonnaise. Macaroni salad was spooned out onto each plate, followed by a crunchy dill pickle. Haute cuisine has no place in the Burg.

We ate in companionable silence for a few moments then Grandma said, "I've been thinking about Bernice. I'll bet you she'll be at Stiva's tonight. Louise Stancovich is being laid out and she and Bernice hated each other. I was planning on going to pay my respects."

"Why would Bernice be there if she hated Louise?" I asked before taking another bite off my kosher dill.

"They were big time bingo rivals. Always seeing who could play the most cards at the same time and trying to out yell each other when they both hit bingo on the same call. It could get downright ugly some nights. As a matter of fact, it was Louise who beat out Bernice with her bingo the night Bernice beat poor Horace with her cane."

My mother shook her head. "That poor man. Bernice beat him half to death before they were able to pull her off him. What's the world coming to when two people can't have a civil conversation over a friendly game of bingo?"

Now I have been to these bingo games and I can tell you, they are anything but friendly. The hardened players can play 20 cards at a time and they are ruthless. Horace is lucky the other players stopped long enough to pull Bernice off of him.

"Sure, Grandma. I'll give you a ride. What time should I pick you up?"

Mom replied, "Why don't you come for dinner. We're having a nice roast chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy with apple pie for dessert."

"Okay, sounds good." I finished up my lunch and put my dishes in the dishwasher.

"Make sure you invite Joseph. It's been ages since he's been able to join us." my mother added.

"Joe and I broke up, Mom. He will not be coming to anymore dinners." I said, trying hard not to snarl when I said his name.

"I'm sure it's only temporary. He is probably just waiting for you to make the first move. A dinner invitation is the perfect apology without actually having to say 'I'm sorry'." As crazy as it sounds, I'm sure that made perfect sense to my mother as she said it.

Trying to rein in my temper, I said through gritted teeth, "I have done nothing to apologize for and I have no interest in ever seeing Joe Morelli again, unless it is through the front windshield of a fast moving Buick."

"Stephanie Plum, that is not funny. You could have killed the poor boy when your foot slipped off the brake and you broke his leg all those years ago." she replied in horror.

The memory of bouncing Joe off the fender of my dad's Buick brought a small smile to my face. "If you want to know the truth, Mom, my foot didn't slip. I don't want to get into it, just know we are done for good this time."

Grandma Mazur gave me a knowing look. "You found out about the car Frankie Salazar stole, didn't you? I heard down at the Clip 'n Curl that it was Morelli's cop car and he had left the keys in it when he went to play tonsil hockey with that Gilman girl. I didn't want to believe he'd do such a thing to you, so I kept my mouth shut."

The sigh escaped before I could stop it. "It doesn't matter. I can't trust Joe and I can't be with a man who can't be trusted. Been there, done that, not doing it again. I can't be in love with someone I don't trust and respect. I'd rather be alone."

My mother practically choked when I said that. "Now Stephanie, there is no need to get dramatic. I'm sure there are plenty of nice young men out there who can be trusted. Why, just last week I heard Jimmy Novak had moved back from Philadelphia. Seems his wife had a good lawyer and she ended up with the kids, the house and the car. I'm sure the rumors of Jimmy's gambling and long weekends in Atlantic City are exaggerations. Besides, if his ex-wife took all his money, he has nothing left to lose at the craps tables."

I wasn't sure if I should be frightened of or in awe of my mother's capacity for denial. Knowing the inevitable dinner fix-up would be next, I tried to cut her off immediately. "I'm not interested, Mom. I am very happy with my life the way it is and I have no desire to waste my efforts on a man right now."

Grandma grinned, "What about the Ranger fella. I'd be willing to waste all kinds of effort on that man. I'll bet he'd never need an intimacy enhancement package. I remember the peek I got of him stepping out of the shower at that hotel in Atlantic City. That package is enhanced already."

Mixed emotions flooded through me. A hot flash of desire rolled through me at the thought of a wet, naked Ranger, followed immediately by a shiver of something bordering on horror at the thought of my grandmother focusing her efforts on him. Best not to go down that path any further.

I grabbed my purse, thanking Grandma for taking care of my laundry and promised I'd be back in time for dinner and to take Grandma to the viewing. I realized I wouldn't have time to get a workout in before my shift at Rangeman, so I decided to I headed straight for my cubicle where I kept an extra Rangeman uniform. I was hoping I'd be able to get my searches done early enough to run home and change into something more appropriate for the viewing before I headed to my parent's house for dinner. If I didn't have time to run home and change, at least I would already be dressed in black.

I settled into my chair and booted up my system. Bobby stepped into my cubicle carrying an industrial sized first aid kit just as I hit send to start the first of several searches already in my inbox. I sat there patiently while he checked the cut on the back of my neck, applied more antibiotic ointment and a new waterproof bandage. He said he was happy with the way it looked but cautioned me again to go to the doctor if I developed a fever or started experiencing increased pain at the sight of the wound. Once Bobby had left, I began printing off the information from the search that had been running and started the next one. Before I could get through all of the reports from the first search, Cal stopped by to check on me. I could see Hal was hovering just outside of the door to my cubicle waiting for his turn to make sure I was okay. This is why I loved these guys, but it was making it hard to get any work done. Finally, everyone had stopped by to reassure themselves that I was still in one piece and I was able to finish my searches for the day. I shut down my computer and grabbed my bag before making my way to Tank's office. I wanted to let him know I was leaving a little early.

His door was open so I rapped on the door frame before stepping into his office. "Hey, Tank. I have to take Grandma to a viewing tonight where I'm hoping to grab my FTA. I'm going to head out a little early so I can get changed into something that is more Burg acceptable. Have a good night" I said as I handed him the files from the searches I had completed.

"Hold up for a sec, Steph. I heard you dreamed Ranger came to your apartment last night. That it was a very realistic dream. I just wanted to make sure you knew how important it is to understand that it was just a dream. You get what I'm saying?"

The entire time he was saying this, Tank was making intense eye contact. I would have had to be a complete moron not to get what he was saying. "Yeah, sure, Tank. It was just one of those weirdly real dreams. I get that."

Tank grinned. "Good. I'm glad you had that dream to keep you company last night. We were all a little worried about you. See you tomorrow, Steph." I shook my head as I walked out of Tank's office and headed to the elevators. This secret squirrel stuff was beyond strange.

I hit every light green and made good time across town and even found a parking spot near the door of my apartment building. Smiling at my good fortune, I exchanged pleasantries with Mrs. Bestler on the elevator ride up to the second floor. I was still digging through my purse looking for the keys I had just dropped in there when the elevator doors opened. Wishing Mrs. Bestler a good day as I finally retrieved my keys from the bottom of my bag I stepped out into the landing and turned toward my apartment.

All was quiet as I entered my home. No crazed psychopaths, dead men or angry police detectives awaited me in my living room. I walked into the kitchen and dropped my bag on the counter. I tapped on Rex's tank and said hello. After dropping a piece of baby carrot in his dish I gave him fresh water and told him about my great parking karma. He rushed out and stuffed the piece of carrot into his cheek pouch then scurried back into his soup can. I made kissy noises at his retreating back side then went into my bedroom to figure out what to wear. My mother would have a fit if I showed up in my standard jeans and t-shirt to go to a viewing at the funeral home.

I quickly changed into a wine colored skirt that just brushed the top of my knees. The skirt was fitted, but not so tight that I couldn't run in it. I didn't think Bernice would bolt, but you never knew with old people. I paired the skirt with a white wrap style blouse and black faux leather jacket before slipping my feet into a pair of pumps with a 3" heel and ankle straps. They looked stylish but I would still be able to run down a 78 year old woman in them if I needed to.

By 5:30 I was in my car and headed toward the Burg. I pulled up behind my sister Val's minivan. I loved my sister and my nieces, but my parent's dining room was small and Val's family tended to fill up a small room quickly. As I walked to the door, my grandmother appeared to greet me. "Come on in, Steph. Val and the girls just got here. You can help us get dinner out onto the table."

I walked in the house, shouted a quick hello to my dad as I passed the living room, and went into the kitchen to help. Since my lack of ability in the kitchen is legendary, my version of helping in the kitchen is opening the cans of jellied cranberry sauce, sliding it out into the serving dishes and slicing the gelatinous mass along the ribs left by the can.

At precisely 6:00, my father was seated at the head of the table with his napkin tucked in under his chin and an expectant look on his face. Angie was sitting patiently in her seat with her hands folded in her lap while Mary Alice practically bounced in her chair. Baby Lisa was already strapped into a high chair, and was gnawing on some kind of baby cookie that was turning slowly to mush from all the baby slobber. My mother proudly carried the roast chicken out of the kitchen and set it on the table. She was followed by my grandmother carrying the mashed potatoes and biscuits then Valerie with the greens beans and gravy. Bringing up the rear of the dinner parade was yours truly with my cranberry contribution to the effort.

Food was passed and plates were filled with little need for conversation. If there is one thing my family excels at, it's eating. With the initial task of filling our plates completed, conversation resumed as we all began to eat.

"So, Steph, what's the plan for the take down tonight?" Grandma asked me with a gleam in her eye. I didn't want to break it to her, but there was no way in hell I was going to let her help with the take down.

"I'm going to wait by the cookie table. When Bernice comes out of the viewing I'm going to quietly introduce myself and ask her to come with me to get rescheduled." I made it sound as mundane as possible, hoping Grandma Mazur would lose interest in participating. I should have known better.

"That doesn't sound very exciting." Grandma said. "How about I create a distraction instead. Then you can grab her and nobody would be the wiser."

"No, Grandma! I don't want you to go to any trouble. If she won't come quietly, I follow her out to her car and take her into custody outside. I don't want to draw any unnecessary attention to what is going on."

Val asked who was being laid out at Stiva's. Turns out she had gone to school with Louise Stancovich's granddaughter. My mother offered to watch the girls so Val could go to the viewing with me and grandma. Dinner was eaten quickly and the plates were cleared away by 6:30. Grandma wanted to be sure to get a good seat, so we all took a rain check on dessert and piled into my car. Grandma was riding shotgun and Val climbed in the back as we drove the short distance to Stiva's.

I dropped Grandma and Val in front of the funeral home and then left to park the car. Stiva's had multiple viewings on this particular night and I had to drive two blocks before I found a space. It was another ten minutes before I made it back to the home and through the throngs of visitors that were conversing quietly in small groups in the foyer and at the back of the room. I finally found Grandma and Valerie sitting in the second row in slumber room 2. I waved to let them know I had seen them but shook my head when Grandma gestured for me to join them. She then gave a not so subtle jerk of her head in the direction of Bernice, who was staring at the casket with a malicious grin on her face. I nodded that I had seen her, then made my way back towards the cookie table.

Attending viewings is an integral part of the social life of the geriatric set in the Burg. Whether one knew the deceased or not, a viewing was the place to see and be seen. No viewing was complete without a few gossiping words exchanged over the cookie table. The current owner of Stiva's bought his cookies at Costco, and personally I didn't think the cookies themselves were worth the effort.

I thought back to when the home was owned by a gay couple named Scooter and Dave. Scooter baked fresh cookies for each viewing. That was during the time we were hunting for Scrog and Julie and Ranger was almost killed. It was also when I first admitted to myself that I love him.

I shook off those thoughts. I needed to focus on Bernice. As if I had conjured her up with my thoughts, Bernice walked out through the door of slumber room 2 and started making her way toward the cookie table. As she was making her selection from second rate offering on the tray I moved toward her. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Grandma and Valerie step out into the lobby.

"Bernice Myzak?" I asked.

"Yes, can I help you?" Bernice was looking at me as if she thought she knew me, but couldn't place the face.

"My name is Stephanie Plum and I represent Vincent Plum Bail Bonds. You missed your court date and I need to take you in and get you rescheduled." I said, reaching for her arm.

She pulled her arm out of my grasp and then whacked me in the leg with her cane.

"Ow! What'd you do that for?" I asked.

"I'm not going anywhere but home to watch my shows." Bernice said and she moved to walk past me.

As I reached for her arm once again, I heard raised voices from across the room. Glancing over, I saw Grandma Mazur and Bella Morelli toe to toe and glaring daggers at each other. Leaving Bernice with the cookies, I hurried over to try to break up the confrontation. Val was doing her best, but she was no match for the two older women.

"Your granddaughter does nothing but break my precious grandson's heart. She is no good for him." Bella was shouting.

"Now don't go getting your knickers in a knot old woman. Your precious grandson brought this on himself when he couldn't keep his lips to himself. My granddaughter deserves better than that." Grandma shouted back.

"Stop you two. It's nobody's business but mine and Joe's, and I don't want to talk about it. Come on, Grandma. Let's go." I grabbed Grandma Mazur by the arm that had her large black patent leather purse hanging off it. I didn't want to give her the chance to pull her long barrel .45 on Bella. I glanced back at the cookie table, but Bernice was gone. I was going to have to pick her up another time.

I left Grandma standing on the porch with Val while I went to get the car. I drove them back to my parents' house where my mother was standing in the door waiting for us. She had my laundry basket full of clean, neatly folded clothes and a bag with my dessert already wrapped up, along with some leftovers. I wished everyone a good night before making my way home.

I ate the piece of apple pie standing in my kitchen. I broke off a piece of crust and dropped that along with a bit of apple into Rex's dish. My day had been busy enough to keep my mind from wandering back to the night before. But now, in the quiet of my kitchen, I couldn't help but think about what had happened. Why had Ranger come to my apartment? Especially knowing he shouldn't be here. Not that Ranger really cared about the rules. He lived by his own set of rules. But what did it mean that he was willing to take that risk? I knew Ranger didn't do relationships and that he loves me in his own way, but sometimes that way was confusing as hell.

I decided trying to understand why Ranger did anything was way more that I wanted to tackle tonight. I changed into an oversized Rangeman t-shirt and brushed my teeth. Settling into bed, I grabbed my tablet from the nightstand. I opened the browser and a news headline caught my eye. Society Party Girl Chantelle Chagal Dead from Apparent Drug Overdose.