Are you ready for it..?
May 2012
Rory walked around with a lump in her throat for days. A lump in her throat she just couldn't swallow. It started accumulating the morning after her mother's 'double 22' party.
Lorelai sat like a Sphinx in the kitchen the comic manuscript laid out in front of her:
"I don't understand, knowing all this was supposed to make me happy?"
The disappointment couldn't be more prominent.
The lump roared and the insult burnt when her dad dropped her off at the airport.
"Give it time, Kid. She'll come around." Christopher Hayden offered his daughter a hug, "For what's it worth, I loved it."
Rory carried the lump with her like the camera that hardly left her side. It accompanied her home through her connection flight in Atlanta. Sat beside her on the ride from the airport in the Link Light Rail. It grew when she - against the Gilmore rule book and despite her luggage - took the stairs up to the 5th floor. Avoiding the elevator.
It hadn't left when her apartment door closed behind her and she dropped the rejected manuscript on the kitchen counter. She didn't care if Joel saw it.
It was shit anyways.
When Joel arrived, bubbling over with excitement at the success of his band, the lump nearly suffocated her.
He beamed, scrolling down his band's newly formed Facebook and Instagram feed to show her all the comments. Rory was happy for him. She truly was.
"I'm so happy! That Logan is a genius." He hugged her tight, kissing the top of her head, "How was your trip? Do you want to go out to watch a movie? There's a Tim Burton night at the Cineplex; Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is playing."
Rory felt the dagger sink deeper in her heart.
"It was good." Her smile didn't reach her eyes.
Sitting in the dark with the psychedelic movie playing on the widescreen and a bucket of salted-caramel popcorn was a tad comforting.
The lump in her throat subsided a little.
It was completely pushed to the back of her mind as she warped herself in Joel's love bubble and he whispered in her ear how amazing she was.
Then it returned, double the size when Monday rolled around and she had to go to work.
~w~
"Ben my computer crashed. Ron from IT is looking at it. Kate and I are going out for coffee." Rory announced, rushing through Ben's open-door armed with her camera. The sunlight was perfect, and coffee was a good excuse to snap some urban spring pictures.
She did a double-take when her eyes fell on the man sleeping on the couch with Ben's baby carefully secured on his chest. Logan.
She snaps the picture almost instinctively without thinking.
His pale-blue dress shirt rolled up to his elbows. One hand supporting the baby's bottom, the other resting lightly on her back. The baby girl was sleeping too, fist cradled under her chin. His socks had Shushi print on them.
Ben looked at her over his glasses, "I want a copy of that. You can go get coffee."
"What's with him?"
"He's sleeping. She's not crying. I'm not complaining." Ben looked on the scene contently, "You should see him play Barbie. That's picture-worthy too."
It wasn't too odd to spot Logan playing with the kids that occasionally visited the office. Mostly Ben's girls. Considering he was MIA for the majority of the month it was odd he was in the office at all.
Rory sent him a sly smile. Snapping another picture, just in case, and a close-up.
~w~
"How did you hear about this?" Rory giddily cruised through the Theo Chocolate Factory's gift shop. She and Joel have just finished the factory tour, tasting throughout amazing organic delights.
The smell of fresh chocolate filled her nose.
Joel balanced the various chocolate packages she loaded on him, "I googled 'Chocolate' and 'Seattle' – it came up. Don't you think you have enough?"
Rory held a spoonful of chocolate-covered raisins mid-air. She wasn't sure whether raisins were considered a fruit. "There's never enough chocolate in the Gilmore rulebook."
"Logan said you liked chocolate, but I didn't think this much."
"What?" She turned to look at her boyfriend. The sweet, creamy chocolate taste that lingered in her mouth suddenly turning stale.
"I mean, I know you like that chocolate factory movie with the creepy little men. So I thought you'd like the tour. What's the rule book?"
"The Oompa Loompas aren't weird. They make the movie." Rory defended, "Why would you talk to Logan?"
"He's cool," Joel admitted uncomfortably, he was getting the impression she wasn't happy about it.
~w~
Rory reached for the top drawer in her desk to grab a fresh pad of sticky notes. She had to juggle it a little when it didn't open with the regular ease. Maybe something got crocked.
When it opened, Rory stared at its contents in shock. It was full, corner to corner, of Mars bars.
"One day you are gonna develop a type 2 diabetes." Nicole peered at the open drawer, "and make your dentist filthy rich."
There was a note too: "RETURNED WITH INTEREST."
Rory shut the drawer a little too forcefully.
~w~
July 2012
"God is my witness I'll break into song and dance once he takes off to New York." Shiri collapsed into the spare chair in the girl's office around lunchtime. Her makeup bag closely clenched to her chest. "I've already booked his ticket and I'm counting back the minutes."
Kate shook her head and tried to sound encouraging, "It can't be that bad."
"It is. I dare you to go in there and tell him we're going out for lunch, because Ben is out." Shiri challenged the graphic designer. "That man needs to get laid. ASAP. He was so much nicer when he was banging that doctor left and right."
"Maybe Rory should go." Nicole piped up.
Rory sprayed her coffee, "Excuse me?"
"You're pretty, your skirt is on the short side and your shirt is oddly see-through today," Nicole gave her the once over smirking, "Give him the puppy eyes. He always agrees when you ask."
"It is not see-through."
"You're like buddies, no?" Shiri countered, "Double dates, inner Yale jokes, you know some of his best friends."
How did she know all that? Finn only called her once.
"Doing your laundry together." Kate chipped in.
God. Kate just made doing your laundry sound dirty. Rory thought that was something only her mother could do.
"You know, come to think of it, Logan does look like a guy who takes his laundry very seriously." Shiri mused, "His shirts are 100% cotton and always pressed. He must strictly follow his degenerate instructions."
"He must separate the whites from his funny socks." Kate contributed her two cents.
"He always smells of lavender too. My money is on the Ultra Downy fabric softener. It has the best smell." Nicole said knowingly.
"He uses Tide pods." Rory internally cringed when Kate's eyes light up with glee. She shouldn't have allowed herself to get dragged into this conversation.
"Argh," Nicole swooned, "My kind of man. So sensible."
"Fine, I'll go." Rory left her chair heading towards his office. "You are all disturbed."
"I'd just wish they'd fuck and get that out of their system."
"Nicole, honey, that ship is by Fiji by now." Shiri checked her nails casually, "Logan sampled the juice for sure. It's why she protests so much."
~w~
New York
"Hello." Phebe's small fingers poked his eyes, "Wake up, wake up."
Logan kept pretending to sleep. He was awake long before she stripped the pillow off his head. He heard her come in and secretly peered at her clumsy attempt to climb on the bed quietly.
"You have to wake up to see the baby."
Logan grinned at the 4 years old's excitement for her little brother. Honor had her latest child in May. He got the new while he was doing his Vancouver Island's 75km long trail.
"Mommy said that if the door isn't locked, I can come in, because you don't have a guest." Phebe bounced on top of the covers, "Mommy is silly".
Clever Honor. He brought Dawn along to his last New York visit post his Pacific Trail hike. It was an interesting experiment, to say the least. Logan had a lot of his soul-searching questions answered watching her interact with his New York life.
"Mommy is silly?" he repeated in question.
"You can't have guests when you're sleeping." She said as a matter of fact, "You have to entertain them."
Logan smiled at her logic, "It's something adults do sometimes."
Phebe seemed satisfied with the answer and he was kind of relieved. "You sleep funny."
"I sleep funny?"
Phebe nodded, "You don't wear Pajamas."
"Pajamas are for sissies." Her eyes widened at his word slip. Oops. He'll be in trouble later when that gets repeated.
"How come you don't have a baby? Mommy has three." Phebe had the habit of asking him the hardest questions.
"Mommy is older than I."
"Not by a lot." Good point. Clever girl. "Can you take me on a date too?"
He looked at his niece her baffled, "How do you know what a date is?"
"Mommy says It's like a playdate, can we go to the Zoo?"
"If we can convince Grandpa to spare me for the day. Where's Amelia?" Logan inquired after her older sister.
Phebe yelped with joy, "Can Amelia not come?"
Logan decided not to argue with her wish. Sometimes big sisters were a pain in the ass.
~w~
"Phebe asked me how come I don't have kids today."
Honor chuckled. Her hands busy preparing bottles of formula, "She's at that age where they ask tough questions. I was worried she'd feel neglected with all the baby stuff. But she's so excited you're here. I think she forgot."
"I need to tell you something." Logan looked at his sister seriously.
Honor took in his suspicious nervousness, "What did you do? I'm not talking to dad for you."
"Nothing. It's nothing like that. But you can't tell anyone."
"I knew it!" Honor clapped excitedly her facing breaking into a grin, "Let me tell you I was starting to lose hope. But I knew it the moment you brought her for a visit…. She's great, Logan. When are you planning to pop the question?"
"I am looking into surrogacy options." Logan bites his lips uncomfortably while his sister stares at him in shock. Processing.
"Funny Logan, HA-HA. Stop pulling my leg." She left out a stunned laugh which slowly subsided when his expression didn't change. Realization slowly sunk in. "You're not kidding."
"No." he confirmed.
"What about Dawn?"
"Dawn and I broke up."
He was contemplating the future of that relationship ever since he came back from the Pacific Trail. Once the plane touched ground in Seattle after their New York in late May, he knew it was over.
"Why? When?"
"A while ago. It wasn't a fit," He elaborated under his sister's hot eyes, "She doesn't want kids. That's kind of a deal-breaker."
"Mom and Dad were just climbing that tree so they wouldn't come across as racist. Give it time." Honor advised, "Let this relationship go its course, don't rush it."
Logan shook his head, "I'm not going to wait for someone, who might never be ready, to want what I want. I've learned my lesson."
"Logan, she isn't Chelsea. She's at the start of her career, a very demanding career. I understand why that's not her top priority right now." Honor reasoned, "I didn't know a baby was yours either."
"Not a word. You have to promise. Not even to Josh."
"You can't be serious… He's my husband!"
"You're my sister."
"I… Logan, what the hell? What has gotten into you?" Honor looked flustered, "I don't understand. Why are you even considering it? How long?"
How long? Since May, since California, since Ben's baby, since he packed up his life in London and went back to America. Since 2008.
"A while." He answered vaguely, "What difference does it make? If I was a woman – or gay - you would be egging me on saying 'go on sister'. Why the double standard?"
"Because that's not how I want that for you."
"I don't need to be in a relationship to be a parent. It's redundant."
"Trust someone who knows. It's not redundant." Honor's hand covered his, "You're my little brother, I love you, I want you to find someone who can carry the burden and joy with you. Not like this."
Logan clenched his jaw.
"I don't have time for that. Honor, do you think I'll have time to take my kid to the Zoo once he retires and I take over?" he pointed out, "You, out of everyone, knows how it is gonna be."
"It will be what you make of it." Honor said firmly, "Dad made his own choices. You're not dad, Logan."
"And I don't want to be." Logan breathed out frustrated, "I really need you in my corner on this, Honor."
"Name one man you know who raises a child on his own."
"Ronaldo."
"I don't know who that is. Name someone I know."
"He's a famous soccer player." Logan searched his brain, "Tom Hanks."
"Tom Hanks is married with four kids." Honor argued.
"In Sleepless in Seattle."
"Seriously Logan, that's your argument? A movie about a man who is obsessively mourning his idyllic lost-love on the radio and a woman who fantasizes falling in love feels like magic? That's your go-to reference for a life plan? Get a puppy."
Honor wished she could take her words back at her brother's expression. Foot in her mouth.
"I like Meg Ryan, she's foxy."
"Are you?" Honor sighed.
"Am I what?"
"Sleepless in Seattle?"
He didn't answer her question, "People with less means than I have managed it."
"You're still so young. Are you serious about this?" Honor sighed again, "Who else have you told?"
Logan simply nodded, "Ben. You two can form a club."
~W~
Rory noticed the band stirred away from experimental jazz, sticking with the classics.
The mid-summer event of the Lorelai Gilmore Planetarium at Yale was her grandmother's pride and joy. Rory was happy to stand back watch the various guests in their best attire mingling with their Champagne flutes. Her grandparents were dancing. Emily Gilmore LOVED dancing.
When her grandfather asked if Rory would like to attend this year, Emily's face lit up like tonight's full moon. Her relations with one Gilmore matriarch was already in shambles, she couldn't bear inflicting any more disappointment and grudge-holding. Rory agreed.
She didn't imagine, but she should have guessed, it would involve her awarding some Ph.D. candidate with a scholarship. But at least it didn't involve wearing a tiara.
"A planetarium in your name, who would have thought."
Rory tore her eyes off the jazz band playing 'Take 5'. Her golden pleated skirt rippled around her legs with the motion, facing the unexpected guest. There he stood, black fitted suit, crisp white dress-shirt, thin black tie, and that teasing smile.
"What are you doing here?"
"I'm here every year. Your grandparents are friends of the family. A Huntzberger representative is mandatory."
"Every year?" His admission caught her off guard. Maybe not that unexpected, but unexpected to her all the same.
"My father feels inferior to scholarly physicists. He delegates." He supplied an additional explanation, "But I do like space and Yale. This is one of the few events I don't mind."
"I see."
"You're very formal tonight." Logan stuck his hands in his dress pant pockets.
"What?" She smoothed her hands over her golden midi-skirt. She had tried not to look heavily formal but still dignified.
"Just your tone, it's formal."
"Well, it just the way it is." Rory crossed her hands over the middle of her black lace bodysuit.
"Okay… I get the sense that you're mad at me. Why are you mad at me?"
"Well, you're just everywhere. Did it ever occur to you that maybe when my boyfriend takes me out - you and your girlfriend are not invited? That gas-lighting my boyfriend is not appreciated? Or maybe when I said stay out of my chocolate drawer, I meant exactly that; stay out."
"Okay, I can defend myself on one or two of these points as well..."
"No, you can't."
"I owed you based on previous loans. I didn't gaslight him. J didn't seem to mind; it was a fun night."
"Yes J," Rory sneered at the nickname, "Thinks you're the best thing since sliced bread."
"I was just helping the kid out. I did him a favor, It worked; I hear he's on tour."
He was. Touring the West Coast for the summer with various gigs over small music festivals. When he broke the news about the band's summer plans, Rory concluded they should take some time apart. That hasn't gone down the best way.
She didn't want to hold him back from the full tour experience.
Maybe she jumped the gun.
"You and me, very different people. I have to go talk to people." She turned from him straight into the grinning face of Mali Rosen. Her grandmother's DAR friend.
"Rory," The older woman put her hands on her shoulders, air-kissing both her cheeks. "What a wonderful speech. Your grandparents said you're based out west, but I hope we'll see more of you with the board of trustees from now on. Richard and Emily are so lucky to have such an accomplished granddaughter."
"I.. Thank you?" Rory felt Logan's hand on her elbow. "Mrs. Rosen, surely you know Lo.."
"Oh, Logan is practically family. I didn't know you knew Rory?"
"We work together." She threw an annoyed glare his way when he applied pressure on her elbow.
"Mali. Always a pleasure." He offered no farther pleasantries and turned on his society smile. Rory read between the lines; it wasn't a pleasure.
"It's nice to see the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Mali Rosen wore the same look her grandmother wore when stumbled upon a worth piece of gossip, "Logan has always been incredibly immersed in his work. You must make Mitchum proud."
"Is Aaron in attending? I wanted to pick his brain on the same-sex-marriage bill."
Why would he refer to Congressman Rosen by his given name? Rory was entirely confused at the whole exchange. It sounded incredibly hostile for practically family.
Mali Rosen's botox-ed face flattened a little, "Unfortunately, no."
"Perhaps next time." Logan smiled coolly, "Would you excuse us, Mali?"
x`x
"What was that about?" Rory whispered loudly. She was a little light-headed by the skillful manner he led her away by just elbow. "Congressman Rosen voted against the same-sex bill. Four years ago."
"Yes, I know." He said, "I'm sorry you got caught up in it. Despicable woman."
Caught up in what? The whole encounter was just odd, "Why did she say you're practically family?"
"When you marry someone, you marry their family too." He grabbed a bottle of champagne on his way, "I think it's time we get out of here, what do you say?"
~w~
They didn't go far. Ending up in the planetarium dome room, drinking straight from the bottle, the projected cosmos night sky above them. It was a magical moment: The combination of music blasting from the surround system and the reflections of light and awe playing on his face.
Or maybe it was just being in his proximity. Alone.
"Have you done this before? Breaking and entering?" Rory was pretty sure they weren't allowed here.
"No. First time."
"I don't believe you." She said, he managed to work the video-audio system afterall.
He chuckled, "First time with you."
God, he was so charming when he wanted to be.
"Although I don't think it qualifies if you own the building, Ms. Gilmore." He passed her the bottle.
"You really are enjoying this, aren't you?" Rory drained the last drops of the bubbly.
"You have no idea." He tilted the seat as back as possible, resting his hands behind his head, "Did you know there may be a star made of diamonds? There's a professor here researching it."
"Fun fact to run by my grandmother." Rory put the empty bottle aside, leveling her seat down, "You are such a geek, Huntzberger."
"Maybe we're not that different you and I." He grinned at her, his dimples flashing, "Have you ever christened it?"
"Is this my boss asking?" Rory hoped the darkness was thick enough to cover her profound embarrassment.
"I'm not your boss tonight Rory. We're not in Seattle."
Rory studied his face while his words registered. A wrinkle in time. Was he offering?
"You're crazy. Anyone could come in." She sat up leaning on her elbows.
"That's half the fun." His hand touched her bicep lightly turning her towards him. His grin stretched, "Something stupid, something bad for you."
"Logan.."
"Rory, am I stepping on anyone's toes?"
She knew that any indication for 'yes' he'd completely back off. She shook her head.
When he kissed her, Logan wasn't at all sure that he could have ever walked away from unraveling Rory Gilmore under the cosmic projection.
