"You mean to tell me you run five miles every morning?" Evergreen asked lounging atop a low flying cloud.
"That's right, or at least I try to." Rooker responded stretching out his arms. "I've missed quite a few days since falling ass-end into Equestria, but with all the laborious work I've done in the name of liberty I think it evens out."
"And you're going to wear that?" The pegasus pointed at hoof at his outfit, a simple gray tracksuit.
"Hey, shut your damn mouth!" He snapped angrily, pointing a finger up at her. "Anastasia Lillybottom tried her heart out when she made this, show some respect! Sure, it's not as high of quality as Rarity's work, but it's still good!"
She held her front hooves up in surrender. "Sheesh, alright, I'm sorry. You look very handsome, sir."
"No one likes a bootlicker, Evergreen." Rooker said returning to his stretches. Finishing with his upper torso he began working on his legs. "Are you sure you don't want to join me? Exercise leads to better live…s!"
"Catchy." Evergreen mocked rolling over to a comfortable position on her cloud. "I'm good, though. Have fun running, or whatever."
"What if I'm attacked by a horde of assassins sent by Princess Celestia?" The blue pegasus rolled her eyes. "Or maybe political rivals intent on usurping me and taking power for themselves?"
"First of all, Princess Celestia might be a tyrannical dictator or whatever propaganda you keep spouting, but she isn't a murderer. She certainly wouldn't send somepony else to do her dirty work. Secondly, every. Single. Pony. In this town. Supports you. There isn't a political rival for you to have. Finally, you have that gun with you, right?"
"Of course, I've had a gun on my person every day for the past decade of my life!" He boasted.
"Then what's the issue? You can easily take out anything trying to hurt you much faster, and easier, than I can."
"Do I really have to spell this out for you, sis?" The American asked with a sigh as he stood up straight.
"Apparently, because I have no idea what you're trying to say."
"I want you to come on a run with me because I want to talk to you." She lifted her head and looked down at him skeptically. "I want to get to know you better, because all I really know about you is that you're an underaged alcoholic with a burning passion for democracy."
She laughed and rolled over on the cloud. "Yeah, that's me alright. Not much more to say, really."
"Blanket statements aren't accurate judgements of character." Rooker said looking over towards Fillytown. "Join me for a single lap around town, after that you can go back to sleeping on that cloud… or, you could keep me company for the next dozen laps."
"If I do one lap with you will you leave me alone after?" Evergreen asked as she preemptively hopped off the cloud and landed with a puff of dirt on the ground below.
"No promises." He said with a smirk as he cracked his neck and turned towards the small town. "Try and keep up."
"So, anyway," Rooker huffed between his words as he jogged through the center of Fillytown, his blue pegasus companion trotting along besides him. "I won that bet handily, Maryanne didn't stand a snowball's chance in Tartarus."
"She had to have known you'd win, right? I mean it was so obvious."
"Well, apparently not otherwise she wouldn't have made it." The American shrugged his shoulders. "It was a hollow victory for me in the end, I only took the bet because I knew I'd win, and I'd be able to take her down a peg."
"Let me guess, it didn't bother her in the slightest?"
"Not one little bit! I mean, seriously, she came up with the most humiliating forfeit for herself and yet she still showed no shame!" Rooker scoffed and shook his head. "You'd think after the fifth time she'd learn her lesson, but no! Thinking back on it, I think she got off on that sort of stuff…"
"Oh?"
"Yeah, I mean, the amount of times she'd make some sort of humiliating forfeit for a bet any sane person could see she'd obviously lose…" He slowed to a stop as a look of disgust slowly spread across his face. "Dear God, how'd I not see it before…"
Evergreen came to a stop a few paces ahead of him, turning to the side with a confused look. It wasn't so much his sudden silence that confused her, she simply didn't understand what was supposed to be humiliating about being naked. Must be a cultural thing.
"Maryanne you sick bastard you did get off on that disgusting shit, didn't you?" He muttered to himself as he ran a hand through his hair nervously. "Even in high school you pulled this shit… how the fuck didn't I see it before now?"
"Rooker?" Evergreen asked stepping towards the mumbling human. "You good, bro?"
"That night at the state fair… Jesus Christ those poor children…"
"Rooker!"
"The last night we were together before my deployment… Why didn't I put the pieces together sooner? Who the fuck makes a bet over whether or not it'll start raining in the next ten seconds?!" Rooker looked on the verge of a nervous breakdown, stalking back and force across the road wide-eyed and rambling. "You… You made me watch… How the fuck did you even fit that whole bottle in your-?"
"Sally, snap out of it!" Rooker immediately turned to stare down at his pegasus pal, a look of pure horror etched onto his features. "That got your attention right away, I'll have to remember that for the future."
"Don't call me that." He chastised poking a finger against her nose.
"You good, dude?" She asked with genuine concern. "I thought I lost you for a minute there."
"Yeah, yeah, I'm… I'm good." He ran his free hand through his hair again with a sigh. "I just realized my only friend was a sick pervert taking advantage of me."
"That's, uh, yeah, that's pretty fucked." She gently pushed his finger off her nose with her hoof.
"I'm really glad I met you, Evergreen." He smiled genuinely. "You, Spike, and all the other friends I've made."
The raven-haired mare clicked her tongue and winked. "Back atcha, bro. Now, let's get back to running."
Putting aside his devastating revelation, he'd have a heated debate with himself about it later, he chuckled. "I thought you didn't like exercise?"
"I've gotten used to it the past few days." She said with a smirk. "Besides, I can put up with it if it means I can hear more of your stories."
"Well, I don't give them out for free." He said with a smirk of his own. "It's your turn now."
"Fair enough." She responded with a shrug. "Let's see…"
"Spike, take a note." Rooker commanded as he sat down at their usual table in the corner of Graymane's Bakery.
Wiping the cookie crumbs from his lips, his trusty dragon scribe pulled a quill and parchment out of his special pocket with a smile. "Ready when you are, Mr. President!"
"I thought we had a talk about the boot licking, Spike?" Rooker chastised picking up a specially made velvet cupcake with blueberry icing and vanilla sprinkles. "Multiple times, if my memory serves."
Spike sighed before responding. "We did, I just don't want to appear unprofessional to anypony."
The American looked around the bakery, devoid of any patrons aside from himself, Spike, and a barely conscious Evergreen with her hind hooves kicked up on a nearby table. He looked back at the purple and green drake with a raised eyebrow.
"We're alone, bro. Graymane's in the kitchen and little miss Lazygreen over there couldn't care less about my reputation."
"I guess." He shook his head. "Sorry, what did you want me to write down?"
"Rooker's log: Day 42 since arriving in Equestria, Day 10 since arriving in Fillytown." Rooker spoke clearly, pausing at the end of his sentence to make sure his words were being transcribed. "Good?"
"Good." Spike nodded. "Keep going I can keep up."
"I've become quite accustomed to the small colorful equines that surround me, perhaps a little too accustomed. I worry what the potential return to Earth will due to my psyche. Will I be able to safely reacclimate myself into society? Or will I accidentally out myself as an interdimensional traveler and be thrown into the loony bin?"
"Wait, hold up, how do you spell… reacclimate?"
"R-E-A-C-C-L-I-M-A-T-E. Got it?"
"Got it, keep going."
"Regardless, I must strive to better myself in my new home. Perhaps I have no need to return to my home world. Perhaps I can just live out the rest of my days in Equestria, much like I discussed with Twilight Twinkle those weeks ago. I'm certain no one, or should I say, nopony, would mind if I decided to stick around. But the implications of permanent residency in an alien world are vast and innumerable."
"Damage has already been done; wouldn't you say?" Spike said cutting into his monologue. "I mean, you've pretty much begun an unstoppable political revolution. Not to mention you killed a dragon, something that will no doubt hold major ramifications for Equestria from the Dragon Lands, if it hasn't already."
"My understanding of the situation between ponies and dragons was that Equestria and their kingdom or whatever were basically in a quasi-war. I mean, dragons freely roam Equestria's countryside and terrorize, pillage, and burn villages indiscriminately." Rooker stroked his chin for a moment. "Anyway, where'd all those big words come from, hotshot?"
"Just because I can't spell certain words doesn't mean I don't understand what they mean." Spike boasted, a proud smile on his face. "I've lived with Twilight for my entire life, she's basically a walking thesaurus."
"Huh, I hadn't actually thought about that before." The human shrugged. "Well, no matter, I'm glad to know that my words aren't lost on you."
"Anything else?" Spike held up the scribbled paper. "Or can I close this log and put it in the archives?"
"Evergreen, got anything to add?" Rooker turned towards the half-awake pegasus.
"Huh, wha?" She looked over to the annoying voice with half-lidded eyes and a yawn. "Oh, uh, we're out of milk... and bread… and cider."
"This isn't a grocery list this is my daily log."
She yawned again and closed her eyes. "Then no, other than calling you a huge dork."
Rooker faced his dragon scribe with a shrug. "Go ahead and throw that in."
"I'm telling you, Rooker, I saw it clear as day!"
Rooker rolled his eyes as the unicorn stallion before him pointed a hoof towards the sky.
"It was like a-a-a… like an explosion! There was a loud BOOM and everything! And there was this rainbow too!"
"A… rainbow explosion?" Rooker asked with a skeptically raised eyebrow.
"Yeah, yeah! There was this amazing rainbow shockwave soaring across the sky!"
"Like a sonic boom?"
"A sonic rainboom!"
Rooker laughed heartily. "A sonic rainboom? Please, Junker, that's just a myth."
"H-How would you even know!" The unicorn stamped his hoof into the dirt angrily.
"I did a lot of reading shortly after I arrived."
"A-Anyway, it's not a myth! I saw it with my own two eyes!"
The American scoffed and made his exit from the marketplace. "Please, Junker, at least try and make these bullshit stories a little bit realistic."
Evergreen cackled wildly, her high-pitched laughter causing several nearby ponies to cringe and cover their ears. Making a scene in such a fancy restaurant, or at least what passed as fancy in Fillytown, was rather rude but she didn't care. In her giggling folly she smacked her hoof against the table hard enough to tip the edge towards herself sending three plates filled to the brim with food barreling downwards.
"Lincoln's sake, Evergreen!" Rooker exclaimed as he quickly pushed his own hand on the table to stabilize it and prevent the catastrophic collision from occurring. "Control yourself, it's not that funny."
"I-I-I know, I-I'm s-sorry!" She responded through chortles, wiping a few tears away from her eyes. "I-It's just… P-Princess Sunbu-wahaha!"
Spike and Rooker exchanged glances for a moment before chuckling themselves. It was perhaps a bit childish, but Princess Sunbutt was still an appropriate and humorous name for the monarch of Equestria. It wasn't worth having a conniption like their pegasus compatriot was though.
"Heh, you should come up with one for Princess Luna." Spike said reaching forwards and pulling his plate of extra-crispy hayfries back in front of himself.
"Princess… Luna?" Rooker asked looking at Spike quizzically.
"Yeah, Princess Luna." Spike stared back at his human friend, both having equally dumbfounded looks on their faces. "Princess Celestia's sister?"
"Oh damn, she has a sister?" He asked with genuine shock.
"Dude, I'm like 90% certain Princess Celestia told you herself when you met her back in Ponyville."
"Did she now? Well, I was a little drunk at the time and don't really-." Rooker suddenly stopped and narrowed his eyebrows at the dragon. "Hold on just one Barack Obama damned second, how did you know what we talked about in our confidential meeting?"
"It wasn't exactly as confidential as you might think. Twilight and I were listening in on it from her bedroom."
He opened his mouth to complain, but only managed to sigh as he sat back in his chair. "Yeah, fair enough. It is her house after all."
"And a public library." Spike added on.
"Yes, and the library also belongs to her." Rooker nodded as the conversation took a sudden nosedive into awkward silence. Evergreen stifled the last of her giggles as the human pulled his plate of mashed potatoes back in front of himself. "So, those hayfries any good?"
Rooker dropped a stack of recently signed papers loudly onto the top of his desk as he sat down in his presidential chair. Spike and Evergreen jolted up from the floor, the dragon being flung forwards as he had fallen asleep on her neck.
With a groan Spike stumbled to his feet. "Ugh, what time of day is it?"
"Forget the time," Evergreen said rubbing her eyes. "what day is it?"
"1430 hours on Sunday November 5th, 2017." Rooker answered slipping a few of the papers into one of his drawers.
"Wait, Sunday!?" Evergreen asked hopping to her hooves in a flash. "As in, the day after Saturday but before Monday!?"
"Mmhmm."
"Oh crap! Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!" She cried out while forcefully flapping her wings in a frenzy. "Oh, dear sweat merciful Celestia what have I done?"
"Uh, are you okay?" Spike asked as he and Rooker stared up at the hovering pegasus.
"You seem like you have something on your mind." The American added on as she rose higher into the air.
"My parents! I completely forgot about my parents!"
"I certainly hope you mean you forgot about a visit, because if you genuinely forgot your parents existed I…" Rooker trailed off, unable to find a proper ending for his witty zinger. "Uh, anyway, when are your folks coming?"
"Right now!" She exclaimed halting her ascent just inches from the ceiling. "I was supposed to meet them for lunch at noon!"
"Oof, that's not good." Spike said looking over at Rooker. "1430 means it's past noon, right?"
"Yeah, 2:30."
"Why couldn't you just say 2:30 then?"
"Well, I prefer military time myself. My folks used it and then I hopped into the military industrial complex, so I was using it then as well."
"That's fair enough I guess, but it would have been easier if you just said 2:30."
"Sure, but if I just stop using military time then how will you learn to get used to it?"
"If you stopped using it, I wouldn't need to get used to it, now would I?"
"GUYS!" Evergreen shouted putting an end to their endless pontificating. "My parents are somewhere in town and I've completely skipped out on our lunch date!"
"Oh, yeah that sucks." Rooker said returning his attention to the papers on his desk.
"Yep, good luck and all that. Let us know how it goes." Spike said flopping back down onto the floor for another nap.
"Please, guys, I need your help!" She said pitifully as she zipped down in front of the desk. "Sal, please, you gotta lend a sister a hoof!"
"Using my first name, eh?" Rooker asked looking up at the distressed pegasus. "This must be serious. What's the big deal about meeting your parents?"
"They just don't leave me alone! They're constantly badgering me about my social life! Asking me every time we talk if I have a boyfriend, or if there's some colt I'm fond of, stupid junk like that! Not only that, but they never leave things be! If I even so much as hint that I have a friend, they insist on coming down and meeting them!"
"Ah, and now they're coming down to learn all about your two new best friends." The human said nodding in understanding. Standing up from his desk he cracked his knuckles with a determined grin. "Alright, let's just get this over with."
"No, no, no, no, no!" She shrieked lunging forwards and grabbing his face. "You can't do that; they'll get all the wrong ideas and my life will literally be hell for weeks!"
"What? I'm not even a pony. What's more, I'm not even a species native to Equestria. There's no way they'd think we have some sort of freaky cross-breeding interspecies relationship." He quickly turned to the dragon lying on the floor. "Not that there's anything wrong with that."
Evergreen looked between them for a moment before shaking her head. "It doesn't matter if you're not a pony, you're a dude and that's all they'll care about!"
"Then we'll just have to clear the air right from the start. Make it clear we're just friends and put any inklings of doubt to bed immediately."
"Can't you just shoot them, or something?"
"What!?"
"Yeah, yeah, just take care of them and we'll bury them just over the hill leading out of town!"
"Lazygreen I'm not going to assassinate your parents to avoid an awkward conversation." Rooker said flatly.
"Oh, come on! Please! It'll make both of our lives so much easier!"
"Uh, dudes, am I going to become an accomplice to murder?" Spike asked nervously.
"No, of course not." Rooker said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "There's no way we'd get caught if I was in charge."
"So, you'll do it!?" Evergreen asked excitedly.
"No! For Celestia's sake girl, just suck it up and face them like a… woman." He sighed and put a hand on her shoulder. "Me and Spike will be right here with you for emotional support."
She sighed and dropped to the floor. "You're right, I just need to rip the band-aid off and be done with it."
"That's the spirit!"
"Yeah, you know, with you guys behind me I think it won't be so-."
There was a sudden violent knocking at the door to the office accompanied by a pair of booming voices. "EVERGREEN RIVERA SILVERSTREAM OPEN THE DOOR THIS INSTANT!"
"Oh, sweet Celestia they're here!" Evergreen said spinning around to face the door. "Rooker, quick, grab your gun we can still pull it off if we move quick!"
"I have a better idea." Rooker said stepping around his desk and heading for the door.
"You're right, a knife will be much safer. No loud noise to alert the whole town, but it'll get pretty messy."
"Fucking Christ, Lazygreen cut that shit out, would you?" He shouted pausing in front of the door to turn and face the homicidal mare.
"Ugh, I'm sorry, but I really, really, really don't want to deal with my parents!"
"Well, too bad." Rooker said before turning the knob and throwing the door open. "Welcome, please come in!"
"You must be the so-called President our daughter has become so enamored with." The father said with a suspicious gaze cast in his direction.
"Certainly don't look like much to me, but if Evergreen has a soft spot for you then so do I." The mother said scrutinizing the human.
"Mom, Dad, pleeease…" Evergreen groaned hanging her head as a blush filled her cheeks. "For once in my life can you not embarrass me in front of my friends?"
"Hey there, Sal Rooker, best friend and employer of Evergreen." Rooker said kicking the door closed and stepping in front of her parents.
"Employer? You're her boss, are you?" The father asked with a stern glare. "You best not be taking advantage of my daughter boy."
"Certainly not, in fact, I'd say she's the one taking advantage of me." Rooker said with a smirk.
"Rooker!" Evergreen cried out rushing over to her parents. "Don't listen to him, he's just talking out of his ass!"
"Evergreen, don't be rude to your boyfriend like that." The mother chastised.
"Oh no, I'm not her boyfriend." Rooker said with a chuckle. "I mean, seriously, are interspecies relationships a common thing in Equestria?" He suddenly turned to face Spike who was still lazing on the floor with a freshly popped bag of popcorn in his claws. "Not that there's anything wrong with that."
"If you're not her boyfriend then why did everypony in town point us to your office when we asked where our daughter stays?" The father asked skeptically.
"Because she sleeps here." Rooker stated simply.
"Rooker!" Evergreen shouted shooting him a dirty glare.
"Oh, she sleeps in your office, does she?" The father asked narrowing his eyes.
"Oh my." The mother said putting a hoof over her mouth. "The President of the Equestrian Republic having premarital relations with his head of security, how scandalous!"
"Honeypot, this is our daughter you're talking about!" The father shouted turning to his wife incredulously.
"Oh, have a bit of humor dear. If she's happy what's the harm?"
"The harm is letting some alien creep abuse the naiveté of our precious little cinnamon bun!"
"She's almost an adult, Silverton, she can make her own decisions!"
"Yes, but her decision this time was wrong!"
"Silverton! Your daughter and the love of her life are standing right there!"
"I don't give a hydra's left cheek who's standing where, there's no way this cretin is going to lay his grimy little appendages on my daughter any longer!"
Spike shoveled two clawfuls of popcorn into his mouth as he watched the soap opera-esque scene in front of him unfold. Rooker and Evergreen had backed off to the desk, the pegasus lying on the floor in defeat and burying her head in her forelegs, her face hot enough to boil water. The American was knelt beside her, a hand comfortingly petting her head as he watched in amusement while her parents bickered back and forth.
"Oh man, wait until Rarity hears about this." Spike mumbled to himself as he chewed loudly on his popped corn.
Rooker stared out of his office window and allowed his gaze to lazily drift across the snow-dusted marketplace of Fillytown. Winter had recently officially begun and as such the temperature had lowered slowly as the days passed. With this gradual drop in temperature came the occasional snowfall and of course the donning of winter apparel. He supposed it wasn't strange that these ponies had scarves and mittens and the like, but it was still kind of hard to imagine a pony needing extra warmth when they're covered in fur.
One of the townsponies caught him staring out of the window and waved excitedly at him, a gesture he half-heartedly returned. The thrill of being so revered and idolized as he was in the town had quickly wore off and now it was almost becoming a nuisance. For the most part the ponies had simmered down, but his attendance to even the simplest of public events was still met with cheering and fanfare, and there were still several ponies completely enamored with him. It was just a part of his job he'd have to get used to, though it did bring a bit of sympathy out of the human towards Celestia. He couldn't imagine dealing with this sort of treatment for a thousand years.
"Dude, you've been staring out that window for like ten minutes." Spike's voice broke through his thoughts and he turned to face the purple and green dragon sitting atop his desk. "Everything alright?"
"Yeah, just thinking of how I'm going to break the news to Pinkie Pie." Rooker responded looking around his oval office. It was quite impressive if he was to be honest, it was a near perfect replica of the oval office from the White House and it was put together in less than a day from when he first arrived. "For the longest time my office was unofficially her bedroom above Sugarcube Corner. But now, I have an actual office."
"Will she even care?" He asked looking down at the unfurled scroll in his hands. "It's not like you actually used it for anything, did you?"
"No, I suppose not."
"Besides, I'm pretty sure she's more upset about you just running off like you did." Spike continued peeking up from the paper. "I'm sure the entire pony gang was upset, especially Twilight."
"Bah, who are you to lecture me on this sort of thing when you still haven't told Twilight you have a new boss?" Rooker said as he stood up from his desk and stepped over the snoring blue pegasus sprawled across the floor next to him.
Spike raised a claw to rebut his accusation but dropped it with a sigh after a few seconds. "Yeah, fair enough."
The American stepped up to the window and gazed out of it once more as he mused, mostly to himself. "I think we're ready to move on from Fillytown."
"Finally?" Spike asked rather eagerly. "You keep talking about this tour or whatever of Equestria, but we've been sitting in Fillytown for weeks!"
"Yeah, yeah, I know." Rooker responded with a sigh. "I've just wanted to make sure everything was in order before I left."
"And you finally think it is?"
"Well, I've adequately prepared the preexisting local government to handle the duties of the new nation, which are the same duties they already had so it wasn't hard." Rooker looked over his shoulder at his Dovah friend. "So, yeah, I think we're finally ready."
"Well, good." Spike said with a nod as he looked back down at the paper in his claws. "As your loyal scribe and advisor, I agree with you and trust your decision completely."
The human smiled. "Well, as your good friend I appreciate your trust."
"And as your good friend, I appreciate your appreciation of my trust and trust you completely in return."
"I appreciate your appreciation towards my appreciation of your trust."
"And I appreciate your appreciation of my appreciation of your appreciation and-."
"Shut up, the both of you!" Evergreen shouted suddenly, slowly clambering to her hooves with half-lidded eyes. "Can't a girl get some sleep without two dudes jerking each other off over how much bro-love they have for each other?!"
"Aw, what's the matter Lazygreen? Feeling left out?" Rooker asked resting against the windowsill. "Well don't get too upset, we both bro-love and trust the snot out of you too!"
"Heh, yeah, totally!" Spike said with a snicker. "We've got so much bro-love for you that- Wait, did you say snot?"
"Yeah, why?"
"What do you mean why? Why did you say snot of all things?"
"Because saying 'bro-love and trust the shit out of you' is disgusting."
"Then don't say that and say something else instead?"
"'Bro-love and trust the fuck out of you' is worse!"
"You don't have to use profanity, you can use literally any word, any word but snot! That's just gross, dude."
"'Bro-love and trust the geriatric out of you' doesn't make any sense, Spike!"
"I didn't mean literally any word!"
"If you didn't mean it literally, then why in George W. Bush's name did you say literally!?"
"Yeah, he's got a point, Spike!" Evergreen agreed, jumping into the argument now that she was wide awake.
"Oh, you're on his side, are you?" Spike asked indignantly as he stood up on the desk.
"I'm on the side of logic!"
"If you're on the side of logic then explain why you fell asleep in someone else's office and had the gall to complain when they made too much noise?!" Rooker shouted.
"Because this carpet is softer than my bed!"
"Oh, please, there's no way that's-!" Rooker fell silent as he knelt and ran his hand along the warm, fuzzy nap of the floor. "Oh, sweet lord in heaven…"
"See, now do you understand why I spent half my days sleeping?" She asked with a yawn as she lowered herself onto the floor. "This carpet is so soft… and warm…"
Spike hopped off the desk and laid down next to the drowsy pegasus. "Yeah, this carpet is nice, reminds me of my bed back in…" He yawned loudly. "…the library."
"Hot damn, I think I can stop paying for that hotel room." Rooker said as he lowered himself to the floor with a tired yawn.
"Why do you think I'm always here?" Evergreen asked leading to them all laughing quietly.
"Night guys, we'll head out in the morning, yeah?" Spike said closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.
"Sounds good…" Rooker mumbled passing out immediately after.
"Wait, we're finally ready to lea…" Evergreen snored halfway through her sentence, falling unconscious before she could finish her thought.
Certainly not my best work, although there are some parts I personally love, but with writer's block and natural laziness what can you do? Couldn't let this slide for too long or the story would die like every other one I've started, and I pray to whatever Gods may be creepily watching us all that I'll see this one to completion.
Here's hoping for monthly updates at the very latest.
