Over the next few weeks, despite his lack of mental healing, Clay continued to physically heal. There were still plenty of moments throughout the days where the pain would grow intense, but the doctors had him on a strict recovery schedule which was helping him manage the pain. The casts on his foot and hand had been removed and replaced with a walking boot and brace, which allowed him to walk short distances on his own.
One week shy of the two-month mark, Clays doctors started bringing up the topic of him being discharged from the hospital. Of course, there were strict rules that needed to be followed once he was released. Clay was given a brief overview of the rules but Naima and one of the other nurses sat down with Bravo to give them a more thorough outline of the rules.
The first, and most important, was that he could not go home alone. Fortunately, Clay no longer had his own home, which he still hasn't been told about, so he was going home with one of them anyway.
The second was that he had to talk to someone, anyone. They didn't care if that someone happened to have four legs and a tail. The longer he held it in, the longer it would take for him to start healing mentally. His nightmares had become a nightly event and the best way to try to help with that was to talk.
The third, and the one everyone knew was going to be the hardest, was making sure he ate. A large part of his diet while he was being held captive was rice, soups and broths, and the occasional fruit and vegetable. His stomach couldn't tolerate much else at the moment. The first few things the doctors had tried to reintroduce were thrown right back up, making Clay weary of trying anything else. He hated that he needed the NG tube and wanted more than anything for it to be removed. Once he realized the only way for that to happen was to actually eat, he started forcing himself to try different foods.
A nutritionist was brought in and they managed to find a few things Clay's stomach was able to tolerate and then they were able to build on and make a plan going forward. He couldn't eat much when he did eat, but at least it was a start and the doctors seemed satisfied with the fact that he was at least trying.
After another two weeks had gone by, the doctors were satisfied enough with Clay's eating to remove the NG tube. Once that was gone, he really started pushing the topic of going home. He's been in the hospital just over two months and 'away' for over a year. All he wanted was to return to his normal life and he felt the best way to try to do that was going home.
When the doctors finally gave him a discharge date, he was over the moon excited.
Sonny, Ray and Jason walked into his room to see Clay in a mood they haven't seen in a while; happy. "Look who's finally coming out of his funk!" Sonny joked.
Trent, Brock and Clay all gave Sonny a slight chuckle. "He's got a good reason to be happy." Brock said.
They all then looked to Clay waiting for him to spill the news.
"Doctors said as long as everything stays on track that I get to go home on Tuesday." Clay's smile went ear to ear, but kinda faded when he didn't get the reaction he expected from Jason, Ray and Sonny.
They were clearly excited for him, but the way they all looked at each other without really saying anything made him wonder what they weren't telling him. Fortunately he didn't have to wait long to find out.
Jason pulled up a chair and sat next to Trent on the right side of Clay's bed while the other two did the same on the other side. "Clay, we need to talk about." He wished they had brought it up sooner, but they thought they had a little more time.
"What? You don't think I'm ready?" Clay asked, slightly annoyed that he thought they didn't think he was ready to leave the hospital.
"No, it's not that." Jason paused. "Look Clay, you don't have a home to go back to." He decided ripping the band-aid off was a lot better than dancing around the truth.
Clay's good mood was instantly gone. He's been so focused on everything else that he didn't even acknowledge the fact that he was considered dead for the last year which most likely meant he had nothing outside of the hospital.
"But we've been talking and we think it would be a good idea for you to stay at Jason's until we can find you a place. You can stay in Mikey's room." Ray jumped in.
Clay just shrugged his shoulders and mumbled. "Not like I have much of a choice, do I?"
"Come on Clay, you knew you couldn't go home alone anyways. What were you expecting?" Sonny added.
"I was kinda expecting you were just gonna crash on my couch for a few weeks like you usually do." Clay answered quickly.
"Listen Clay." Trent spoke up. "It's only temporary. We've been looking real hard to try to find you a new place. Davis even went to check a few places out. As soon as we get you a place, we'll get you all moved in and if you still need assistance, I'm sure Sonny would be more than willing to temporarily move in with you."
Clay rolled his eyes and then looked at Jason, completely ignoring Trent. "What about Emma and Mikey?"
"What about them? They're both eager to see you."
"I don't know. I don't want to kick Mikey out of his room and but I also don't want to be keeping him up all night with the nightmares I've been having."
"Mikey and Emma are both away at school. Emma's up in New York and Mikey's at a hockey school up near my mom." Jason informed him. "Emma will be home in about a month for her winter break and she can't wait to see you."
"I can't wait to see her either." Clay smiled hearing Emma was excited to see him. He really missed Jason's kids when he was gone. He then turned to Ray, missing his kids just as much. "How are your two? Bet they're getting big, huh?"
Ray laughed. "You have no idea. I think Jameelah is convinced she's a teenager now and RJ is running around all over the place."
"I can only imagine. I can't wait to see them." Talking about his brothers' families, that had also become his family, definitely cheered Clay back up.
"I'm sure they can't wait either." Ray paused. "We haven't actually told them about you yet. RJ's too little to understand, but Jameelah, she was a wreck when we lost you. We don't want to tell her until she's able to visit you. The hospital said she was too young for this division of the hospital. Naima even tried to convince them to let her. They wouldn't budge. I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry man. As much as I want to see them, I wouldn't want them to see me like this anyway." If he was being honest with himself, he hated that anyone had seen him this way, but he knew it was the way it had to be.
/
Tuesday finally rolled around and Clay was more than ready to get out of the hospital. Jason had shown up extra early with the hopes of getting Clay discharged early. Unfortunately, the hospital staff were dragging their feet and he didn't get discharged until lunch time.
Jason helped him into his truck, noticing the slight wince on Clay's face as he leaned back. "You good?"
"Yeah, back's still pretty sore. The doctor said it probably would be for a while because of how deep some of the lashes were, but I'm good." Clay admitted quietly.
Jason nodded. He knew of others who had been whipped less than Clay who suffered the effects for months so he had no doubts in his mind that Clay was still hurting. Rather than focusing on the pain though, Jason looked at the clock in his truck then over to Clay and took a chance. "It's about time for lunch. What do you feel like?"
Clay just looked over at Jason, trying to figure out how to answer. "Jace, honestly, I just want to get back to your house and lay down for a bit, I promise I'll eat something later." He hoped like hell Jason accept it.
"There were conditions that you agreed to in order to be discharged Clay." Jason started to argue, but decided to take a different approach when he looked over at Clay and saw him blankly staring out the passenger side window. "When was the last time you ate?"
"This morning." Clay answered quickly. "About an hour before you got there."
"What did you have?"
"Eggs."
"How many?" When Clay didn't answer, he asked again. "How many?'
"One." Clay answered quietly.
Jason leaned his head back on his seat and shut his eyes. After taking a deep breath he returned his gaze to Clay. "Fine. I wont force you to eat right now, but you have to promise me you'll eat dinner. Deal?"
"Deal. I promise." Clay was thankful to be able to just go to Jason's and lay down.
The remainder of the ride to Jason's was quiet until Jason made a left hand turn instead of a right? Clay quickly looked at Jason and silently questioned where he was going.
"I had to sell the house to help pay all the school fees for Emma and Mikey. I'm renting a house closer to base for now."
"You sold the house?" Clay never thought Jason would sell that house after losing Alana.
"Yeah. Too many memories in it that were keeping me from really moving on. Plus, I needed the money if Emma and Mikey were both going away to school." Before Jason could even finish his sentence, he pulled into his driveway.
Clay was impressed. Jason's new house was bigger than the old one. "It's nice man. I like it."
Jason jumped out of the driver's seat and jogged over to the passenger side to help Clay out. "Wait till you see the inside." He smiled.
They slowly made their way inside and Clay looked around from the doorway. "Ready for the tour?"
"Actually, I'd rather lay down for a bit first if that's ok."
"Of course. Follow me. I'll show you where Emma's room is." Jason replied.
Clay sighed. He felt a little weird staying in Emma's room, almost as if he was intruding.
It was almost like Jason was reading Clay's mind because as Clay started to follow behind Jason said "Don't worry. It's more of a guest room than Emma's room. She took most of her stuff with her. She hasn't even slept in there yet."
Emma's room was in the middle of the hallway, conveniently located between the bathroom and living room.
"Here you go." Jason entered the room showing Clay where everything was.
Clay was surprised by the room. It wasn't anything like he expected compared to Emma's old room. There was a single bed in the middle of the room, with neutral colored bedding and surrounded by two nightstands, a tall dresser and a TV. It had only been slightly 'personalized' to Emma with a couple pictures that she had left behind.
"The remote for the TV is right there." Jason pointed to the remote on the left nightstand. "There's more blankets in the closet if you get cold or a remote for the fan if you get hot. I'll bring you a bottle of water in case you get thirsty. Need anything else?" Jason asked.
Clay shook his head. "I think I'm good. Just pretty tired." He eased him self down on the bed as Jason went to get him a bottle of water. Before he laid down, he noticed the framed picture on the nightstand. It was a picture of Bravo from Clay's first deployment with the team. Everyone was all smiles. It made Clay miss the way things were in that picture.
Jason walked in and seen him holding the photo. "Emma loves that picture. Says most of her favorite people are in it." Jason smiled.
Clay smiled back, putting the frame down and then taking the bottle of water from Jason.
"I'll be in the living room if you need anything, ok?" Jason told him.
Clay nodded and was pretty sure he was asleep before his head even hit the pillow. He woke up two hours later, feeling a little bit better. He looked at the clock on the dresser and noticed it was almost 5:00, which meant it was time for his pain meds, which he knew before even seeing the time. He winced as he stood up and then set out to find Jason. He slowly made his way into the kitchen where he was surprised to see Sonny and Jason sitting at the table drinking a beer.
"Well if it ain't sleeping beauty." Sonny chuckled, bringing smiles to both Jason and Clay's face.
Clay made his way to the table, easing himself down into an empty chair. Jason and Sonny both noticed the wince that Clay clearly tried to hide.
"You ready for your meds?" Jason asked.
"More than ready." Clay replied as Jason stood up to grab two of the many bottles of medication Clay was sent home with.
"You know you need to eat with these right?" Jason reminded him.
Clay just nodded. "You have any soup?"
"Sonny brought some over with him. I'll heat you up a bowl." Jason said as he stood up to heat Clay up a bowl.
When Jason returned, he placed the heated bowl of soup and Clays pain meds in front of Clay and watched as Clay just stared at the bowl.
"It ain't gonna eat itself, you know." Sonny told him.
"I know that Sonny!" Clay snapped back a little harder than he intended to. "I just need a minute." He was fully expecting Jason and Sonny to keep nagging on him until he started eating, but was pleasantly surprised when they dropped the subject and just started shooting the shit.
Clay took his meds and then spent the next 45 minutes forcing spoonful's of soup down his throat, turning down every offer to reheat it. When it was a little more than halfway gone, he pushed the bowl away from him and then waited to see how Sonny and Jason would react to him not finishing it.
"That all you gonna eat?" Jason asked.
"That's all I can eat." Clay answered as he watched Jason place the bowl in the sink.
Jason was satisfied with how much Clay had actually eaten. He had purposely put the soup in a larger bowl, knowing he wasn't going to finish it and was almost impressed with how much Clay finished.
"Thank you." Clay mumbled, looking down at the table, as Jason sat back down.
"For what?" Both Jason and Sonny asked.
"Not forcing me to finish it." Clay said. "I'm sorry. I promise I ate as much as I could."
Jason and Sonny looked at each other. They hated the way Clay felt like he had to explain himself and the sad puppy dog look on his face topped with the brokenness of his voice nearly broke their hearts.
"Don't apologize Clay. That was a pretty big bowl. Honestly, you ate more than I expected you to." Jason informed him.
Clay nodded and Jason and Sonny could both tell he had something on his mind.
"What is it Clay?" Sonny finally asked.
Clay took a deep breath and shrugged. "I don't know. It's just- When I was over there all I could think about was coming home and eating a big, juicy steak. Now I can't even finish a bowl of soup without feeling sick."
"Do you feel like you're gonna be sick now? I can get you a trashcan or something." Jason asked.
"I don't need one. I always feel like I'm gonna be sick when I eat. It's why I don't like eating." Clay admitted.
"We get that Clay. We do. That's why we don't force you. We knew you were gonna eat the soup when you were ready. And I know it sucks right now, but it will get better. And when you're finally up for it, I will buy you the biggest, juiciest steak we can find." Sonny promised.
"Might be waiting a while." Clay yawned.
"That's alright. We got all the time in the world blondie." Sonny assured him.
"Meds kickin in?" Jason asked, noticing Clay's yawn and heavy eyes.
"Yeah." Clay responded.
"Want to head back up to bed?" Jason asked.
"Not really. I'll be ok for a bit longer."
"Me and Sonny were gonna light the fire pit and have a few more beers. You up for joining or would you like me to put the tv on and set you up for the couch?"
"Fire pit sounds nice."
"Fire pit it is then." Sonny said as they made their way out the back door.
Within the hour, Clay was passed out.
"Should we wake him up or let him sleep for a bit?" Sonny asked.
"He's gonna be sore as hell if we let him stay like that for too long. I think he's already sore enough as it is. Might as well wake him up now, bring him to bed, it's getting kinda late anyway." Jason told him.
Sonny doused the fire while Jason gently woke Clay up and helped him up to his bedroom. Once he got him all settled in, he went back out to the kitchen where Sonny was cleaning up and started helping him.
"You think he's gonna be ok tonight Jace? I can sleep on the couch or in Mikey's bed?"
"You hate Mikey's bed." Jason responded, knowing if he was willing to sleep in Mikey's bed, which only had a top bunk, then Sonny really must want to stay. He couldn't blame him. Clay was Sonny's best friend. "I'll grab you some blankets, you can stay on the couch if you'd like."
Sonny smiled. He wanted to be as close to Clay as possible whenever he could.
Little did Jason know just how glad he was gonna be that he let Sonny spend the night after the night that Clay had.
Sorry it took so long to update. I do have part of the next chapter already written so hopefully it doesn't take too long to post the next chapter. As always, That's for all the reviews. They definitely help motivate me to keep writing :).
