Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds. The occasional scenes from episodes of Criminal Minds in this story belong to the writers of Criminal Minds and CBS. No copyright infringement intended.
A/N: Shout out to Fashionista7, fishtrek, Daisyangel, criminalmindsrocks, supergirl superman, and Astrahan for reviewing chapter 15.
The gym I go to, schools, city buses, and bars have all shut down until further notice while restaurants only allow ordering takeout or delivery. Aside from canceling any doctor and dentist appointments I have for the next month, I already stocked up on enough groceries to allow me to stay home for two weeks to keep myself safe because of the weaker immune system I have from being a Kawasaki Disease survivor who has a bleeding disorder called Von Willebrand's Disease. I hope that everyone practices social distancing and stays home like I've been doing.
It's March 26th at the beginning of this chapter.
Spencer woke up to his alarm clock going off and Zoey who's been sleeping between him and Maeve since her first night home from the animal shelter licking his face causing him to groan as he thought about how Zoey would kiss him awake when he was having a nightmare or when his alarm clock goes off, "I'm up, Zoey," grumbled Spencer.
Zoey gave her master a big kiss.
"Seems like I'm going to be having some competition if Violet becomes a daddy's girl after she's born," mumbled Spencer as grabbed a wipe and wiped off his face before he slipped on his glasses and climbed out of bed.
Maeve opened her eyes as she giggled, "I agree."
15 minutes later Spencer was taking Zoey on a two-mile run through the neighborhood because of both Dr. Jones and one of the physical therapists he worked with from the Sedona Hope Rehabilitation Clinic both telling him that he should do workouts like running, swimming, and bicycle riding a few times a week while he attends Beltway Cop meetings to help prevent him from getting addicted to Dilaudid.
An hour later a freshly showered Spencer was eating breakfast at the breakfast nook with Maeve, Joe, and Mary while Zoey sat right by Spencer's feet as drool hung down her mouth at the smell of bacon when Mary looked at her son-in-law who was pushing his scrambled eggs around his plate with his fork, "Are you OK, Spencer?" asked Mary.
Spencer sighed as he finished up his first mug of coffee, "I'm nervous about returning to work today."
Maeve nodded as she thought about almost losing her husband to Tobias Hankel seven weeks ago, "I'm nervous too," said Maeve before she groaned as Violet and Arthur kicked her causing her to rub her 31-week baby bump, "Please be nice and stop kicking mommy."
Spencer rested his hand on his wife's 31-week baby bump and spoke in a soft and yet firm voice as he continued to feel Violet and Arthur kick, "This is your daddy talking and I want you two to please stop kicking your mother."
At that moment Maeve sighed in relive, "Thank you, Spencer."
Mary smiled at her daughter, "At least you have only seven more weeks before your planned c-section, Maeve."
"Violet and Arthur can come sooner too, but depending on the positions of Violet and Arthur I'll give birth naturally," said Maeve before thinking about the baby shower her mother and Haley thrown for her two days ago which had female family members, friends, coworkers, and wives of coworkers attending, "It's a good thing that Spencer and I spent the past few weeks finishing up on the nursery and the only thing we have to do is wash all the clothes we bought or gifted and attend a few more childbirth classes."
Zoey let out a bark causing Spencer to look at Zoey who was giving him the puppy-dog eyes, "What do you want, Zoey?" asked Spencer.
Zoey let out a few whines as she looked at the bacon on the table.
"Do you want some bacon, Zoey?" asked Maeve.
Zoey barked.
Maeve laughed as she placed her plate of leftover bacon and pancakes onto the floor, "I'm full now, so you can finish eating what mommy couldn't eat."
Zoey grinned as she started to eat her mother's leftovers.
Mary looked at her son-in-law's plate that held his half-eaten breakfast, "Even though Zoey has you wrapped around her paw, don't even bother giving Zoey what's left on your plate. I promised your mother and your aunts that I would make sure that you gain some weight and drink less coffee."
Spencer looked at his empty coffee mug causing him to reach for the pot only for Mary to quickly take it and gave him a firm look as she poured her son-in-law a glass of orange juice and passed it to him, "No refill until you finish off your plate and drink a glass of orange juice, young man."
Spencer sighed, "Yes ma'am," said Spencer before he started to finish eating his breakfast while he drank his orange juice.
Maeve grinned at her mother, "I think I'm going to love having you live here."
A half-hour later Spencer was getting into the front passenger seat of Hotch's Bureau issued S.U.V., "You didn't have to pick me up on my first day back at work," said Spencer.
"I know, but I thought that we should talk about how the next few days will go before we get to work," said Hotch before becoming serious, "During your first case back, you'll be station bound while we'll share a hotel room so I can be there if you have a nightmare."
"I understand," said Spencer before thinking about his Aunt Erin, "Knowing my aunt, she'll want to talk to me as soon as we get to the B.A.U."
"Chief Strauss does want to meet with us," said Hotch.
"Even though I have my mother-in-law, Chief Strauss has been treating me like as one of her own kids while Sarah, Molly, and Tyler love asking both Maeve and me for our help on their homework," said Spencer before smiling a bit as he thought about his 15-year-old cousin Sarah, "Sarah hopes that I can help get her into Cal-tech."
"You must be pleased about one of your cousins wanting to go to Cal-tech," said Hotch.
"I already have plans to get Violet, Arthur, Sarah, Molly, Tyler, Jack, and any other children Maeve and I have together into Cal-tech with just one phone call," said Spencer.
"You want to get Jack into Cal-tech?" asked Hotch.
"If he wants to go, but I also have strings to pull at Georgetown University," said Spencer just as his cell phone vibrated causing Spencer to see a picture of Zoey holding a sock of his in her mouth.
ZOEY'S ALREADY MISSING YOU SO MUCH THAT SHE'S CARRYING ONE OF YOUR SOCKS AROUND THE HOUSE WHILE CRYING. ~ MR
"A picture of Zoey?" asked Hotch.
"She's already missing me so much that she's carrying one of my socks around the house," said Spencer before shaking his head,
"Seems like Zoey is a daddy's girl," said Hotch.
"She is because Zoey is sleeping between Maeve and me every night, she camps out on the bathroom floor when I shower, and she licks my face to wake me up from a nightmare or when my alarm clock goes off."
"Do you think that there's going to be competition between Violet and Zoey getting your attention after Violet and Arthur are born?" asked Hotch.
"I believe so, but maybe Zoey might pick Arthur to be her favorite after the twins are born," said Spencer.
"That's possible," said Hotch.
After exiting the elevator with Hotch, Spencer quickly noticed his aunt waiting by Hotch's office.
"Meet me in Agent Hotchner's office in two minutes, Dr. Reid," said Chief Strauss.
"Yes, ma'am," said Spencer.
After setting a few new pictures of him and Maeve with Zoey onto his desk and placing his go-bag and messenger bag underneath his desk and hanging up his navy blue military-style peacoat over his chair, Spencer entered Hotch's office and shut the door.
Chief Strauss walked over to her nephew and gave him a gentle hug, "Welcome back, Spencer."
Spencer returned the hug, "Thank you, Aunt Erin."
After sitting down, Chief Strauss looked at her nephew, "For the next six months, you'll be seeing Dr. Moss daily while you'll have to submit to frequent drug tests."
Spencer sighed as he thought about the random drug tests he had during medical leave, "I understand, but what if I'm on a case?" asked Spencer.
"You'll just talk to Dr. Moss on the phone while you can submit to a drug test while you return, and when you're on paternity leave you can take a break from frequent therapy sessions and drug testing," said Chief Strauss.
"I assume that you want me to check in with you daily too?" asked Spencer.
"Yes," said Chief Strauss before thinking about her big sister, "Did your mom say anything about checking in with her too?" asked Chief Strauss.
"Ever since Maeve and I arrived back in D.C., mom has started to refuse to take her afternoon medication if I don't call her at noon Pacific Time," said Spencer.
Chief Strauss's lips twitched up a bit as she thought about her big sister, "I'm not surprised, but we both know that your abduction was hard on her like it was for me."
"It was hard on everyone, but I fought to stay alive since I didn't want to be like my father and abandon my wife and kids before they're born by being killed by an unsub," said Spencer before looking at his aunt and Hotch, "May I please go get some coffee?" asked Spencer.
"You may, but don't drink too much coffee since your mother told me that you're too still skinny for her liking and I have to agree with my big sister," said Chief Strauss.
Spencer shook his head as he left Hotch's office and headed to the break area while he heard Emily talk to Morgan about a date she went on the night before right before he learned that there was a case.
After briefing was over, Spencer rushed to the nearest men's' room where he ended up vomiting what he ate for breakfast and all the coffee that he drank.
A few minutes later, Spencer exited the bathroom stall only to find Hotch enter the bathroom and handed him his toothbrush and toothpaste.
"I thought that you might need this," said Hotch.
"Thank you," said Spencer as he made his way to the sink so he could brush his teeth and wash his hands.
When Spencer was done, he looked at Hotch who was silently guarding the bathroom door, "How did you know that I vomited?" asked Spencer.
"You looked like you were getting sick while looking at crime scene photos and you rushed towards this room as soon as I gave a departure time. I just took the liberty to break into your go-bag and grab your toothbrush and toothpaste and have it ready for you," said Hotch.
"Thank you," said Spencer before he sighed as he thought about knowing that Hotch wouldn't let him leave the bathroom until he opened up about why he vomited, "Seeing those girls in those leaves made me flashback to Hankel abducting me and even though Violet and Arthur aren't born yet I'm already picturing how a teenage Violet could turn out to be."
"Do you think you can handle working this case?" asked Hotch.
"Even though I'm now experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms, I have to try working this job again or Hankel would win," said Spencer before he looked at Hotch, "I promise you that I'll let you know if I have any more flashbacks while I'll also tell Maeve, my aunt, and my therapist that I started to have flashbacks."
"Good," said Hotch as he allowed Spencer to leave the bathroom so he could call Maeve and tell her that he was going to a small suburban town outside of New York City.
A few days later, Morgan looked at Spencer who was ignoring their card game by closing his eyes.
"You all right? Reid," said Morgan.
Spencer opened his eyes, "Hmm?" asked Spencer.
"I said, are you all right?" asked Morgan.
"I'm fine," said Spencer before looking around and spoke in an annoyed tone, "Thanks for broadcasting it."
"Hey, talk to me. Whatever you say to me in confidence is between us. You know that right?" asked Morgan.
"I don't have anything to tell you," said Spencer.
Morgan thought back to seeing Spencer handcuffed to a chair through live video feed seven weeks ago and how Spencer saved himself by sending coded messages to Hotch while having to shoot Hankel before being forced to be on medical leave for six weeks so he could physically and emotionally recover, "Reid, listen to me. What you went through out there, Nobody expects you to rebound..."
Spencer glared at Morgan, "I can still do my job, all right. I'm not gonna freak out."
"You think I don't know that. I know that you've been talking to Maeve, Hotch, Chief Strauss, and your therapist throughout the case," said Morgan.
After 30 seconds of silence, Spencer decided to tell Morgan about his flashbacks as he spoke in a soft voice, "It's the crime scene photos."
"Crime scene photos?" asked Morgan.
"The dead girls in the leaves," said Spencer softly.
Morgan thought about watching Spencer die on a computer monitor or seeing dead children, "Reid, we've seen worse. I know that cases that dealt with kids being murdered have been much harder on you ever since Maeve told you that she's pregnant."
Spencer thought about how hard it has been to see dead kids ever since Maeve told him that she's pregnant, "I know. I know we've seen worse, but... For the first time, I know. I look at them, and... I look at them and I... I know what they were thinking. And I know what they were feeling, like, right before," stuttered Spencer as he tried to hold his composure.
"That's called empathy. And it's a good thing," said Morgan.
Spencer rubbed his eyes, "It's not. It's got me all messed up. I don't know how to focus. I can't do my job as well," said Spencer before looking at Morgan 10 seconds later, "So, what do I do?" asked Spencer.
"You use it. Let is make you a better profiler, a better person," said Morgan.
Spencer sniffed a bit, "A better person. Hmph."
"How's Maeve handling all of this?" asked Morgan.
"She won't let me shut her out while she keeps on reciting her favorite poem by E.E. Cummings to me to remind me that I can beat the post-traumatic stress disorder I'm dealing with and continue working this job," said Spencer.
"What's Maeve's favorite poem?" asked Morgan.
Spencer took a breath before he recited Maeve's favorite poem, "Whenever you think or you believe or you know, you're a lot of other people: but the moment you feel, you're nobody but yourself. To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight and never stop fighting."
Morgan smiled as he thought about that poem is fitting Spencer perfectly, "That poem fits you perfectly. You fought to survive and you completed everything you had to do to be allowed to come back after six weeks off."
"I know. Maeve has been there to talk about my nightmares, she makes sure to add jello and kumquats to her grocery list, and even though she might be craving fish she has given up fish completely after the first time I got sick over the smell of fish cooking," said Spencer.
"I believe that everyone on this jet has quit eating fish since we were all gagging when we entered that empty shed," said Morgan before getting back on topic about Maeve, "I'm glad that you met Maeve over 10 months ago. She has made you happier than ever while she's staying by your side while you find your footing again after Hankel, so please don't ever divorce her."
"I won't since my mom loves Maeve and would scratch out my eyes if I end up being like my dad and abandoned Maeve, Violet, and Arthur," said Spencer.
"Where do you think your father is these days?" asked Morgan.
"I don't know if he moved away or started another family with someone else, but all I know of is that he's still alive since I would have been notified if he had died," said Spencer.
"You would have," said Morgan before thinking about Garcia, "I hope you know that Garcia would be glad to help you locate your father."
"I know, but since he hasn't contacted me in the past 15 years he doesn't deserve to be a grandfather to Violet and Arthur," said Spencer before noticing that Hotch was walking past them, "Besides, Violet and Arthur have their Grandpa Joe, Gideon, and Hotch to be a grandfather or honorary godfather."
Hotch stopped walking and looked at Spencer with an amused look on his face, "Are you really going to have my goddaughter and her twin brother call me grandpa?" asked Hotch.
Spencer shrugged his shoulders, "It all depends on Violet and Arthur. They might choose to call you grandpa without being prompted to."
Later on that evening after dinner, Spencer and Maeve were taking a bubble bath together where Spencer told Maeve about the flashbacks he had while he told her about the conversations he had with Hotch, his aunt Erin, Morgan, and his therapist.
A/N: Speaking of dogs being a daddy's girl, my late Charcoal lab Rootbeer was a daddy's girl, my Hurricane Irma refuge Zubie is a daddy's girl, and my Louisiana Leopard Dog Zoey practically chose my nearly 24-year-old brother to be her daddy and has him wrapped around her paw and gets jealous when my brother gives attention to our 17-month-old niece.
