A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Guest, Miss Laury, SquareMom, U3fan, and Lara500. Thanks so much for continuing to review, everyone! I appreciate it so much!
The buzz of an alarm jolted Tsunade awake. She lunged forward to shut it off before it woke Kakashi in the other room, then found herself staring dismally at the smashed remains of the clock under her hand. Great. Now she had to buy Kakashi a new alarm clock. Tsunade groaned, and ran a hand through her tangled hair. Why on earth had she set the alarm so early? Surely, she'd had a—
Oh, yes. Her plan. Tsunade rubbed her aching eyes, then slid her legs out of bed to stand blearily in front of the miniscule dresser. The same two pictures met her gaze, as they had the previous mornings. One was a young Kakashi with his two teammates and sensei with spiky yellow hair whom she recognized as an adult Minato Namikaze, one of Jiraiya's students. She bit her lip, remembering Kakashi's confession. He blamed himself for the deaths of everyone in this picture. What a terrible burden to live with. The other picture was Kakashi with his team. Nawaki's almost-twin, Naruto, a beaming pink-haired girl, and a brooding boy with black hair. She didn't doubt he had his hands full with those three.
Tsunade sighed, and began brushing her hair. It was her third morning in Kakashi's apartment, and it hadn't taken her long to figure out his schedule. He got up at an ungodly hour—usually while she was still asleep—and was gone for at least three hours; training, she assumed. He returned long enough to cook her breakfast, then left on his official duties.
And she was left at the apartment, alone, and with nothing to do but grieve and attempt to find a solution for the chakra seal. Though without a medical lab or books at her disposal, it had been rather difficult. She'd had no desire to try to regain any more memories, not after what had happened last time. Tsunade swallowed thickly. But three days was enough time to grieve for Nawaki. She couldn't take being holed up here any longer.
Of course, there was still the problem of her chakra-seal, but the past three days had given her plenty of rest, and she was almost feeling back to normal. She'd just have to avoid using any chakra.
Now, she only had to convince Kakashi to let her train with him. Tsunade opened the bottom drawer of the dresser and pulled out the clothes she'd snuck out in a henge to buy the second day she'd been here. She'd taken to wearing the older women's clothes she'd woken up in to bed, but she certainly wasn't going to go out in them. Tsunade quickly put on the form-fitting mesh shirt and shorts, then pulled on a short red skirt and a cut-off white blouse. Ah, much better. She tied her hair back in a high ponytail, then took a deep breath and marched out to confront the sleeping Kakashi.
Tsunade approached the couch, fully intending to shake him awake. But something about the silver-haired jōnin sprawled across the cushions, his bare feet sticking out past the blanket, made her hesitate. He still had his mask on, of course, but he somehow looked younger—more innocent—with his shaggy hair framing his face, free of the Leaf forehead protector, and wearing a simple sleeveless shirt instead of his uniform. One of his ninken was curled on his chest. But not asleep, as Pakkun lifted his head to stare at her. And then Tsunade realized Kakashi had opened his unscarred eye, and was gazing at her. She hadn't yet had the courage to ask what happened to his eye, though curiosity gnawed at her.
Kakashi patted Pakkun. "Maa, so you are awake. I thought I heard the sound of destruction. So, what is it this time?"
Tsunade scowled. It wasn't as if she'd destroyed everything in his apartment. This was only the second accident. "I will buy you a new one."
Though Kakashi's face was half-covered by a mask, she sensed his amusement. He sat up, and Pakkun gave her an undecipherable look before vanishing in a puff of smoke. "Well. I assume something has you up so early?"
Tsunade fought to keep her face neutral as Kakashi stretched, his bare arms flexing. She couldn't deny he had very nice arms, though that was the last thing she needed to be thinking about. "I want to train with you."
Kakashi stopped stretching, and tilted his head. "Train?"
Why was he acting like she'd grown two heads? Tsunade snapped, "That is why you get up early every morning, isn't it?"
"You notice when I leave?" Kakashi's eyes crinkled. "Maa, I'm honored."
Tsunade's face burned. She had a distinct desire to strangle the silver-haired ninja, no matter how adorable he looked at the moment. "It's rather hard not to. For a jōnin, you aren't exactly quiet."
"Ah." Finally, Kakashi seemed a little embarrassed. "My apologies. I'm not used to having someone else in the apartment."
Tsunade winced inwardly. It was too easy to forget how much she owed Kakashi, especially when he acted like—like this. Still, she had her pride to consider. So, she only nodded at the dog hair covering the front of Kakashi's dark shirt. "Besides the dogs?" If she wasn't so annoyed, she might feel sorry for him. But her impatience got the best of her, as usual. "Well, are we training, or not?"
Kakashi stood, not bothering to brush off the dog hair. Suddenly, Tsunade became aware he stood mere inches away. He shoved his hands into his pockets. "Sorry to disappoint, Tsunade-sama, but I don't train in the morning."
Tsunade refused to be the one to step back, so she had to tilt her head up to meet his gray gaze. And immediately regretted it. Kakashi and his masculine scent—a strange but enticing mixture of metal, pine, and a hint of dog—was entirely too close. "But... where do you go, then?"
Kakashi, too, seemed to realized how close they were, but he stepped back and cleared his throat. "To remember."
Tsunade turned, and could only watch in confusion as Kakashi walked to the door and pulled on his jōnin shirt, flak vest, and headband. He set his hand on the handle, but hesitated one second... two... three. Abruptly, he glanced back at her. "Would you, ah, like to come?"
Go where? Tsunade wanted to demand, but there was something in Kakashi's normally bored voice that made her pause. A sort of... vulnerability. So, she just nodded. "Hai. I would."
The where, it turned out, was Konoha's cemetery.
Tsunade glanced at Kakashi out of the corner of her eye as they wandered among the headstones. This was what he did every day? Remembering those who were gone... because of his failures? "You come here every morning, then?"
Kakashi shrugged lightly. "Hai. And every afternoon. I might have failed them, but I won't forget them."
Tsunade faced the mist-shrouded path in front of them. Her heart ached for him; for his lost loved ones. Still, as much as she missed Nawaki, she knew living in the past wasn't right. Not when you had a present. She shivered in the morning air, regretting she hadn't brought a coat. "It's good to remember. But what about the people you have now?"
Kakashi's only response was to drape something warm and soft around her shoulders. Tsunade gazed down at her green haori in surprise. Had he been carrying that the entire time? "Oh. Thank you."
Kakashi studied her, as if debating whether to speak. Finally, he murmured, "I'm afraid all of my precious people are gone."
Tsunade stared after him as he continued down the path. Something tugged in her mind—a sense of familiarity. She'd…heard that before. But the memory refused to surface. She shook it off, and caught up to Kakashi. His words troubled her more than she cared to admit. "May I ask... why don't you have any more precious people? Surely you have friends. What about your team?"
Kakashi hummed. "Hai, I have friends. But... it's best not to get too close. Not for me. I don't want to cause any more harm."
Tsunade bit her lip. She almost reached out to take his hand, as she had by the riverbank, but the memory made her face burn. After all, she'd only known Kakashi for a few days, and she had no intention of doing such an intimate thing again. Still, her heart ached to tell him she knew exactly how he felt. She'd given Nawaki her necklace; her belief in him, and he had died the next day. It felt like a sign—no, it was a sign. Her belief in him had meant nothing. For all she knew, he'd been in harm's way because of it.
Kakashi stopped, and Tsunade halted next to him. She stared down at the headstone in front of them for a long moment before the name sunk in.
Nawaki Senju.
Kakashi shifted, eying her almost anxiously. "Maa, I thought you might want to see it."
Tsunade crumpled to her knees, and tears poured freely down her cheeks. She'd cried for her brother, but it hadn't seemed real. Until now. She reached out and ran her trembling fingers across the name engraved in the cold stone. Nawaki. "He—he wanted to be hokage, you know."
Kakashi crouched next to her, his understanding eye fixed on her, silently encouraging her to continue.
Tsunade refocused on the tombstone. "Our parents both died on missions when we were young, so I raised Nawaki. I am—was—ten years older, so in some ways I was more like his mother. But he—he took care of me too. We looked out for each other. He was so proud when I became a jōnin, and he told me all the time that he knew I would become the greatest medical-nin ever. But I wasn't... not enough to save him."
Kakashi, too, looked at the stone. "He would be proud of you, Tsunade-sama. I know it."
Tsunade gripped her knees. Enough. She was grateful Kakashi had brought her to Nawaki's grave, but they were here for him. "Thank you for..." She gestured at the headstone helplessly. "All of this."
Kakashi only nodded. Tsunade pushed to her feet and exhaled deeply. "Will you show me yours?"
Kakashi's eye widened. He stood slowly, then gave another jerky nod. "Hai. This way."
They stopped first at the grave of Rin Nohara, his teammate, then Minato Namikaze's, and lastly, the memorial stone engraved with Obito Uchiha's name. Kakashi didn't say much; just introduced Tsunade, then gazed at the stones in silence and regret. Tsunade stood next him, sensing silent companionship was all he needed right now.
"Maa, well," Kakashi said suddenly, turning from the memorial stone, "we should be heading back."
Tsunade blinked. Already? The blush of sunrise rose above the trees, and she realized his intention. He wanted to get her back to the apartment before anyone saw her. She curled her fingers into fists. "We don't have to go back yet. I could... train with you for a little while."
Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't think that's the best idea, Tsunade-sama. I was ordered to keep you out of sight."
Tsunade hated begging—or showing any kind of weakness—but she couldn't go back to the apartment and the solitary confinement of her thoughts. Not yet. "Please, Kakashi-san. I don't want to go back yet."
Kakashi stared at her. "Ah... well..."
An idea came to her, and Tsunade grinned. "How about a wager?" She pulled out the dice she always kept on her person, and extended them to Kakashi. "If I win, I get to train with you. If you win, I'll—I'll go back to the apartment."
Kakashi's perplexed stare dropped to the dice. "Maa, you really do like to gamble."
Tsunade shrugged, struggling to subdue her smile. Any gamble with a risk never failed to give her a thrill. She rattled the dice. "Well? Do you agree?"
Kakashi folded his arms. "It seems I don't have a choice. What's the game, then?"
"Choose a number. If I roll the number, I win. If not... you win." Tsunade dropped the dice into her other hand and raised her eyebrows.
"Maa, let's see..." Kakashi tapped his chin and gazed at her hands intently. "Five."
Tsunade nodded and sat cross-legged on the grass. She placed her free hand over her dice hand, and gave a vigorous shake. Kakashi crouched opposite of her. In spite of his feigned indifference, he didn't take his gray eye from her hands. She slammed her hand on the ground and slowly lifted it, heart pounding.
Two fours. An eight.
Tsunade slumped, barely concealing a groan. Why couldn't luck have been on her side for once? But whatever else she might be, she always kept her word. So...
"Well. Seems I won," Kakashi observed. If she didn't know better, he almost sounded disappointed. He stood, and offered her a gloved hand. "We'd better head back before anyone sees us."
Tsunade scowled and gathered her dice. But that didn't stop her from accepted his warm grip and letting him heft her to her feet. She brushed off her haori to disguise the tremble in her hands, and managed a stiff, "Fine."
Kakashi headed into the forest. But after a few minutes of walking, it became obvious they weren't taking the same way back to the apartment.
Tsunade sniffed. "What is this? A short cut?"
They entered a small clearing in front of the jagged cliffs that surrounded Konoha, and Kakashi stopped. He laced his fingers behind his neck, clearing his throat. "Ah, no. This is one of the more remote areas around Konoha. Hardly visited, so I think we're safe from anyone seeing us."
It took Tsunade a moment to process what Kakashi was saying. He was breaking his orders for her? Her cheeks heated, and she silently cursed her reaction. "You're saying... I can train with you?"
"Hai." Kakashi shrugged off his flak jacket, though he avoided her gaze for some reason. "But no using chakra. I won't risk that. So... I thought we could do some, uh, rock climbing."
Tsunade nodded. Rock climbing was some of the best training to do without chakra. It built strength and endurance, and trust in oneself. It was also often used for bonding exercises, but she pushed that thought away. Kakashi was a logical man, and he'd chosen this for logical reasons. "What are we waiting for, then?"
Tsunade had forgotten how strenuous rock-climbing could be. Or, more like, her body had forgotten. She cursed through her clenched teeth as she reached for another handhold several inches up. After only two hours, her arms were beginning to shake. What on earth had her fifty-one-year-old self been doing? Sitting around and sipping sake? She snorted. That would be ironic, as she didn't even drink. True, she had this chakra-seal, which surely wasn't helping. Tsunade blinked sweat out of her eyes and sent a sharp glare at her abdomen. That was the only acceptable explanation. She'd always taken great pride in her unmatched strength and endurance, and she refused to believe she'd lost it.
"Here's a closer handhold, Tsunade-sama." Kakashi lowered himself next to her, and tipped his chin at the crevice he'd mentioned. Nothing about his tone or demeanor indicated impatience, but Tsunade bristled anyway.
"I don't need help," she snapped, ignoring his suggestion, and continued stretching for the protruding rock she'd chosen earlier.
"But partners are meant to help one another, are they not? There's no fault in that." Kakashi's quiet baritone sent shivers across her skin.
Partners? It would be stupid to read anything into his choice of words, but Tsunade couldn't help glancing at him as her fingers finally snagged the handhold. "I hardly think we're at that level of acquaintance ye—"
The rock under her fingertips crumbled. Already off balance, Tsunade shrieked as she fell backwards. For a paralyzing moment, she couldn't remember if using chakra would kill her—and that fatal second was one too many. She stretched for a handhold, but the cliff was already out of reach. An arm wrapped around her back, abruptly stopping her fall. Tsunade blindly reached for something—anything—as Kakashi lifted her with a grunt. Her hands found the sweat-dampened cloth of Kakashi's shirt, and she scrabbled up until her feet found purchase.
Tsunade gasped for breath and—her back pressed firmly against sun-warmed stone of the cliff wall—finally realized the position she'd put herself in. Kakashi had braced her against the cliff using chakra adhesion, his hands planted on either side of her shoulders as she gripped fistfuls of his shirt. And his face was less than an inch from hers. Her heart crashed erratically against her ribs, and it wasn't from her near-fall.
Kakashi, too, was panting, his chest heaving against her hands. He gave a soft chuckle. "Maa, that was a bit close. Don't you think?"
"H-hai." Tsunade's voice came out higher than she'd intended. She couldn't tear her gaze from Kakashi; not that she had anywhere else to look with him so close. His breath warmed her face, and she swallowed hard, cheeks tingling. "Thank you for, ah, catching me."
Kakashi's eye creased with a smile, but something smoldered in his iris's gray depths. "Gladly."
All at once, Tsunade became aware that they were practically pressed together in a very inappropriate manner—and simultaneously—that the heat of Kakashi's body against hers made her long for him to pull her closer. Horrified, Tsunade released his shirt, face flaming. Kakashi's eye widened, and his feet slipped out from under him. Instinct kicked in, and Tsunade twisted, grabbing a short ledge with her right hand and catching Kakashi's wrist with her left.
Kakashi stared up at her, then ducked his head as he latched himself back on to the cliff, clearly embarrassed he'd lost his concentration. "Maa, thanks."
Tsunade quickly faced upward, heart pounding. He hadn't been able to sense her feelings, had he? She started upward, determined not to look back. "We'd better get moving if we want to get to the top before noon."
Kakashi grunted agreement, and they climbed in silence the rest of the way.
Tsunade pulled herself over the top of the cliff, arms trembling and sweat beading her forehead. In spite of the embarrassment churning her gut, she couldn't help a grin of exhilaration. "That was a good climb."
"Hai," Kakashi agreed, a smile in his voice as he straightened next to her. To her immense relief, he seemed to have already forgotten their little incident. Kakashi glanced up at the afternoon sun, and ran his fingers through his silver hair. "Ah, I have a few duties to attend to. Mind if we walk home?"
Home. The word filled Tsunade's chest with a strange warmth, and she ducked her head before he saw her smile. "Hai. Lead the way."
They arrived at the apartments from the back, and Kakashi halted in front of the rusty staircase. "I was thinking... we deserve a reward after all that hard work." He faced her, hands in his pockets. "How about when I finish my assignments, I'll return around seven and we can go get something to eat."
Butterflies erupted in Tsunade's stomach. Like—like a... date? She swallowed hard. Surely not. Their, ah, close proximity on the cliff must have addled her brain and brought on these unwanted thoughts. Besides, she'd never been on a date. Not that she hadn't been asked—including by Jiraiya—several times, but she'd been too busy with missions, training, and taking care of Nawaki to give it much thought. And, if she were honest, there hadn't been anyone she was interested in going out with.
Until now?
Tsunade gave herself a hard, mental shake. For heaven's sake, she had to remember she was fifty-one, not twenty-two, no matter what her memories, or lack thereof, made her feel like. Kakashi knew that as well as she did, which meant this was a dinner between friends. Or, even more likely, colleagues.
Kakashi was watching her almost nervously, as if he thought she might refuse. Tsunade smiled in amusement. As if she would say no to free food. "Hai, I think a treat would be nice."
Kakashi's eye curved in a smile, and suddenly, more than anything, Tsunade wished she could see the smile on his face. The sharpness of the longing startled her, and she immediately shoved it down deep. Very deep. She could only hope her expression hadn't betrayed any of her thoughts.
"Maa, see you at seven, then, Tsunade-sama." Kakashi bowed, then strolled away, apparently oblivious to the turmoil in her mind.
Tsunade watched him go, and sighed, defeated. There was no going around it. The way her heart beat faster when the silver-haired jōnin was around, the happiness she felt when he talked to her, listened to her, or even just looked at her. The way her stomach fluttered when he smiled at her...
How she, oh, so, desperately, stupidly, wished this was a date.
Tsunade groaned, wanting to bash her head against the wall. Why did she feel this way? Truly, she was hopeless.
Hopelessly falling for a certain Kakashi Hatake.
Guest: Heh, I have to admit, it made me pathetically happy too. XD Not to mention it provides plenty of opportunities for... certain things to happen. But honestly, this whole story is just fan service to my Tsunade-loving heart. I'm so glad others are enjoying it too! As for Jiraiya, he won't show up until a little later, but I've decided to expand his part a bit thanks to your comment.
Miss Laury: Thank you! I admit, description is not my strong suit, so I'm glad it worked. Yay! I'm happy you can tell the difference between Tsunade with and without her memories. I did my best to show the difference I think her past caused in her, so I'm glad you could see what I was going for. Looks like you were right about Tsunade's feelings. XD And as for sharing the bed, well... we'll see. ;) Aww, you're so kind. Thank you! I really enjoy 'chatting' with you guys.
SquareMom: Thank you so much! I definitely agree about Tsunade. I was enjoying the anime up to Tsunade's arc, but when she showed up, I totally fell in love with her character. I actually wasn't originally going to have Shizune's part, but when Dobbyhasnomastr mentioned her, I decided to add it in. So I'm glad you enjoyed it! The other characters, at least, can see what's going on, lol. Thank you for the complements! Feel free to pm me anytime. :)
U3fan: It's really fun to write, that's for sure. You would think they'd be able to figure it out, but we'll see how that goes, lol. And I agree, they've both had rough pasts. They definitely deserve some happiness!
Lara500: Thank you for your review! I hope it was worth the wait, and I'm so glad you're enjoying the story. :)
