Love You Through It

by Castlefan6

Authors Note: SnowKing1701 PROMPT REQUEST - They get together early in the series and a health scare tests their love, but not separate them. We may take liberties with the events and timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, Warning THIS IS AU, with only brief flashes of Canon. MAJOR CHARACTER ILLNESS, NO DEATH PROCEED WITH CAUTION, SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTER

Thanks for the Prompt SnowKing1701, I hope I do it justice.

I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create.

Previously

"Can you rinse the soap out of what's left there please, I think we know what we have to do", as tears came to her eyes. He was still holding her when Marlene returned, took a look at the water, and the huge clump of hair floating on top, and heard her crying.

"Babe, it's OK, we can get you a wig so good no one will know, it's OK, I love you no matter what, please don't cry."

"I just get one step closer to making you remember I am a woman and want you to desire me, and now, I'm losing my hair? Rick, how can you say you still love me, I mean my hair, it's taken five years to grow it this long"

"Well, what are you doing the next five years, I can wait, I love you with or without hair," the tears continued.

"Kate, should I bring out operation BIC? We talked about this Sweetie, if you're going to do it, now is the time"

"Yes, Marlene, Rick, can you give us thirty minutes, I don't want you to see this" Rick looked shocked until he saw the yellow washbasin and the six-pack of BIC Razors, he knew what was coming.

"Sure Babe, Sure, I'll be back, I love you, Mrs. Castle,"

************************************************************************************/

Chapter 17

Mt Sini Hospital

New York

30 Minutes Later

Rick had walked around the hospital in a fog, watching the time, he didn't want to be away from Kate, he couldn't stand to be away from his wife any more than she needed him to be. He knew that it was always a possibility she would lose her hair, Dr. Gupta had repeated it several times, even just as the Chemo treatments were beginning. He didn't want to believe it would happen, and he was sure that Kate heard the words, but perhaps pushed it aside as he had done.

A cold hard dose of reality just hit them both, and really, he was worried more about Kate's mental state than how she looked or would look with no hair. She was always beautiful to him, but he knew just how she fussed with her makeup, and especially her hair. He was almost lost in his thoughts when straight ahead of him was an upscale Hair Salon, and Wig Shop, combined. From the looks of the clients coming and going, they were cancer patients getting their hair washed, or in some cases scalps treated to avoid the irritation that could come with radiation, much like a sunburn would.

He walked into the shop and saw a beautiful dark woman, absolutely ravishing, with an African print pantsuit of some type. The one feature that made her stand out was she was totally without hair, in fact, her scalp gleamed of moisturizing cream, but she was still a knockout. He must have looked so out of place, he heard,

"Well we don't get too many men in here with hair as lovely as yours, what can we help you with" the lady smiled,

"Oh, I'm sorry, just looking, and it's not for me, my wife, eh well she's having chemo and eh, I, eh, she just started losing big clumps of her hair. Her nurse had warned her about it and they had talked, in fact, she's shaving her head now, and"

"And she didn't want you to see it coming off, correct eh Mr., I'm sorry I never got your name." her smile was out again, even without one hair follicle on her head she was a beautiful lady.

"It's Rick Castle, my wife is"

"Kate Beckett Castle, muse for Nikki Heat, gosh, can I get your autograph, I'm a big fan, and well, I'm sorry I should be focusing on work, not fangirling out on you, Mr. Castle."

"Well, why don't you give me your name and I'll have my publicist send you the last two Heat books, signed by Kate and myself, and I still didn't get your name."

"It's Quanda Hicks, I know different name, but hey look at me, I'm not your typical 31-year-old African American former model. I now work with women dealing with hair loss, rather than fighting off the wolves who want you for one thing, regardless if it's a contract or couch, I had enough of that noise. I always got more attention than the girls who were much prettier than I, ever since high school when I lost my hair due to a disease." She said as she handed Rick a card,

"I'm so sorry Quanda, I know my species can be pigs sometimes, well most of the time during mating season which is 12 months long, so I apologize for men all over the world, you didn't deserve that," Rick said softly,

"Thank you, Rick, you're taking this very hard for Kate, is it your feelings or hers that has you this upset." She asked,

"Quanda I can honestly say the moment I saw you, I saw an attractive lady, not a bald lady who looked good, or interesting, you are beautiful and carry yourself with such confidence. I just want Kate to know it's possible, and if she wants wigs, well I want that for her as well, for me, hell I love her no matter what she has on her head." As Quanda started laughing,

"I'd heard there was a celebrity in the VIP suites that loved his wife more than anything in the world, he never even noticed the young nurses who hiked their skirts up shorter to get his attention, his eyes were only for his wife, so it's nice to know he's you, makes the books even sweeter." She said causing Rick to blush,

"You said you work with women who lose their hair, Quanda, how is that if I may ask?"

"Well, I share my story, you see unlike Kate, hair loss from chemo will regrow, not as fast as she wants it to, but it will, and probably be fuller than ever, but in my case, I will forever be bald, or have to wear a wig. I tried wigs first, then I thought, no, if someone doesn't love me or want me for the real me, I don't need him either.

"I was diagnosed with Androgenetic alopecia, the female-pattern baldness or hair loss caused by genetics, or family history. It's the leading cause of hair loss in women and generally begins between the ages of 12 to 40 years old. Lucky me, it hit me when I was a senior in High School, one day a candidate for Homecoming Queen, the next hiding in my closet, not wanting to go to school because of the cruel remarks." She said with a sad faraway look in her eye

"How does your service work, I mean will Kate need to come here, or can you come to the suite to visit with her, give her some tips on taking care of the scalp, even if she does want to wear a wig. I mean cost isn't an object, Quanda, so if you could come*"

"Rick, you're a lovely man, and I would love to say yes, BUT, it's Kate's decision so once she decides, call me and I will come to the suite. It has to be something she is at least interested in hearing the options she has, scarfs, or wigs, or treatments for the scalp to keep the hair follicles moist to facilitate hair regrowth. I'll warn you, give her some space, and expect the answer not no, but HELL NO. She's going through shock, a big shock Rick, so be patient, be the loving husband we've heard about all the way down here. When she's ready all she needs to do is dial the last four digits from the hospital phone in her room." She smiled,

"Thank You Quanda, I'll have Paula send those copies to you as soon as I get back to the room, you've been so helpful."

Xx

Rick made his way slowly down the hall, stopping just short of the door when he heard voices, a little loud and one seemed to be crying.

"Kate, boo hoo, poor you, for God's sake get off you fucking pity party, look if you want to fire me when I finish speaking fine, but you're going to hear this. You're upset over your hair, I'll give you ten minutes for that, then think about people like me.

"Did you ever wonder why I'm a nurse for cancer patients? Well, Mom died, she didn't have a husband like yours, hell he wasn't even sober enough to know what the hell was going on. We had NOTHING KATE, NOTHING, so pardon me while I say Fuck You and your pity party over hair that will grow back.

"My mom had to discontinue her treatments because she had to make a choice, food and rent for us, or her treatment, unlike yours Kate, her decision was life and death. She left us each $10,000 in life insurance to start our lives off, she knew my Dad was worthless, so I buried Mom and enrolled in Community College the same day.

"I've worked two jobs most of my life to raise my kids, seems Mom left us the gift of picking out jerks for husbands as well, so I have no one, my kids have me, that's it. We get by, better than a lot, not as good as others, but I don't complain because I know if Mom had the choice, she would have chosen to keep fighting, hair or no hair.

"Look, I know I overstepped so as soon as Rick gets back I'll get Joanne in to cover till he can hire my replacement. I just wanted you to know there are a hell of a lot of more important things in life than your full head of hair, and as I said Kate, it will grow back.

"I'd say I'm sorry but Kate, think about what I said, Rick is killing himself trying to make everything better for you, that man is a saint. Take a minute, yell into your pillow, punch it, but when he comes back you look at your husband like he looks at you, eyes full of love. Some of us would give almost anything to be in your shoes, with cancer or not, wake up Kate."

Marlene started to walk away, Rick could see her reflection when he heard Kate's voice,

"Who the hell said you were going anywhere, are you quitting" Kate's voice full of tears,

"No, I'm not quitting, I just thought"

"Well you thought wrong, I need someone who's not afraid to kick my ass from time to time, and you're right, I do take it out on Rick, no matter how hard I try not to. Not this time, knowing him, he's probably called someone he knows, to make me some ointment to grow hair overnight, he would if that were possible. I do love him Mar, and I'm sorry."

He heard Marlene's footsteps over to her bed, then both of them crying, he decided to walk around the hall for a few minutes. When he returned, both had bloodshot eyes, but Kate smiled, actually smiled at him.

"Hey handsome, you like the new wash and wear look I'm sprouting, this season" Kate tried to joke,

"You know what Mrs. Castle, sometimes I forget you have hair, or ever had it, I get lost in your eyes and then your love, but yeah, I like the new look. Do you?" he asked the loaded question,

"Well once I got over the shock, and, a friend set me straight about priorities in life, yeah I like it." She replied shooting a glance towards, Marlene who dabbed her eyes.

"Well I was walking and I swear Kate, I had no idea this place even existed, but I met a person, a very nice person who I think you should talk to when you're ready," Rick said shyly

"Rick, I think we have enough doctors, and I thought we were going to therapy together with Doctor Burke in a week" she looked puzzled and a bit upset

"Oh, we are, we are, it wasn't a therapist at all Kate, it was a lady named Quanda"

"Did you meet Quanda Hicks Rick, I was going to suggest her, she's beautiful inside and out" Marlene interrupted, then realized, "oh, I'm sorry to butt into your conversation" she said shyly

"No, no not at all Mar, who is Quanda and how do you know her? Should I be worried about my husband stepping out on me with her?" She laughed,

"Rick, why don't you tell her, I might be biased." Marlene found a way to let Rick back in.

"Well, Quanda is a former beauty queen, (Kate's eyebrows begin to rise,) an absolutely beautiful thirty-one-year-old African American lady who is completely bald. She has an upscale wig shop as well as a beauty shop that caters to ladies receiving chemotherapy. She's there to share her story with women who need either someone to talk to, or if they care to purchase a wig or scarfs, she's willing to talk to you when YOU'RE ready.

"I stupidly tried to make an appointment, but she refused, told me, Kate was the patient, and for me to contact Paula for the books I promised, she's a huge fan of Nikki" he smiled as he laid the card on her stand.

"You really think she's beautiful Rick, I mean even without any hair at all, you really think she's that pretty?" She asked, shyly

"I do, and I think you will as well, but you'll have to call her to find out for yourself, I guess they only let the caregiver do so much, then it's time for you to take back control.

"You're getting better, just damn nausea, 3 more weeks, two treatments per week, and Babe, we can all go home, I mean if you still want to stay here until treatment is done," He said then looked to the floor

"Rick, as much as I want to get out of here, I know that this is the best place to be, as you said damn nausea and ache all over feeling, but you're right, I complain too much. I'm lucky, I really am. Can you do me a favor, Babe?" She asked,

"Sure, what do you need"

"Can you dial the extension and hand me the phone, it still hurts when I reach over my head. I'm working on it in therapy, but they said it would take a couple more weeks to get stretched back out again"

Rick dialed the extension and handed Kate the phone, as Marlene walked over injected the antibiotic into Kate's IV, and patted her hand. She mouthed "I'm proud of you" and returned to her paperwork.

Xx

Three Hours Later

Kate had almost dozed off, Rick sat in his chair, his arm around her, pulling her as close as he could get. His laptop sat idle on the floor, he knew what his priority was, and if Kate needed a little extra loving now to help her adjust to the new appearance, he would do whatever it took.

A light knock on the door caused Kate to raise her head and say come in, there stood a beautiful African American lady with a beautiful complexion and large dangly earrings. She was dressed in a gorgeous pantsuit paying homage to her African heritage, but Kate couldn't help but look, she was indeed completely bald and wearing it as a trophy, not a defect.

"Kate? I'm Quanda, I spoke to you on the phone a few hours ago, is this a good time, or shall I come back?" she smiled, it seemed the lady never stopped smiling, and Rick was correct, she was absolutely beautiful, flawless in fact.

"Hi Quanda, I'm Kate Beckett Castle, still getting used to the Castle at the end, we're newlyweds". She blushed, "and I think you met my husband on one of his wanderings through the hospital" she laughed,

"Yes, I met the famous writer, who now owes me two autographed books, since I'm such a huge fan. I didn't like Derrick Storm, but Nikki, now you're talking." She laughed as Rick grimaced,

"You know I'm right here Quanda," he faked being hurt, and then rose and asked, "Babe, I'll stay if you want or if you would prefer a private consultation, I can get lost for a while,"

She reached and pulled his hand, "Sit down buster, you're not going anywhere, you're stuck with me, I want you to be part of this as well," as he sat he leaned in and she kissed him with both the I love you and I'm sorry kisses, he smiled, just whispered, "Always babe"

Quanda started to explain about her Medical condition when she first started noticing her own hair loss, then the traumatic days of high school and the taunts. It was the motivating factor for her to become the model, and become as successful as she had, she now owned the patents to hair care products that made her a very wealthy woman. She never forgot the horrible feeling, so she made it her mission to help other women going through this, whether through cancer or other illness.

Kate looked into her eyes, and saw the sincerity, and knew Rick had found the best possible person for her to talk to. She explained about the hair follicles, how each person had a different reaction to the chemo cocktails as they called them, which explained why some people lost their hair on their heads, and as Quanda pointed out others lost hair in more strategic spots but that area was never seen by the public, so no one talked about it.

"The one blessing this brought me Kate, and Rick you can close your ears for this, as she whispered, I never need to get a bikini wax or trim or shave my legs again, all-natural" then she laughed as Rick blushed, and Kate joined in with her laughing.

Quanda also showed Kate an assortment of wigs, one was very close to the hairstyle and color she had when she first met Rick. She turned to Rick, without saying a word, they knew what the other was thinking and purchased the one wig, for special occasions where they didn't want to see the gawkers.

For daily routines, Kate was going to apply the cream and skin supplements once Chemo stopped. The wig would be ready for Kate to wear it home from the hospital, in two to three weeks, which made her breathe a sigh of relief.

"Quanda, may I ask you a question, if you rather I ask the doctors, I'll understand," Kate said near the end of the visit,

"You want to know how soon your hair starts to grow back and how long will it take you to get it back to your old length or close to it, Right?" as she smiled, "It the most asked question Kate, so I can give you ballparks, again everyone is different

"Typically, the hair will start to regrow on its own two to three weeks after chemotherapy is completed. The hair may grow back as a soft fuzz at first. After about a month, real hair will begin to grow back at its normal rate of 6 inches per year. Your new hair may grow back a different texture or color than before.

"Most women who lost hair that was straight, are surprised to see the natural curls when the new hair is grown, and vice versa, it's due to what is referred to as "chemo curls." The effects of the drugs linger in the body for months, altering the cells in the hair follicles, or so says someone with a lot more degrees than I have so I tend to believe them" she smiled,

Kate smiled and just said softly "Thank You, I'm so glad you came up today, you have provided a lot of answers that made me feel much better."

"Any time you need to talk Kate, and you will have days, I hate to tell you, but you will call me. We've been where you are, but always remember Kate, your hair will grow back, and you're beautiful with or without a covering on your head, your husband thinks so, so who else counts?" she smiled and hugged Kate gently,

"I'll take you up on that Quanda, thank you, Rick was right, you are absolutely stunning, a real beauty inside and out, so thank you again," she smiled as Rick wrapped his arm around her, to help her from the chair back to her bed, things were working out, so far.

TBC