Long one now :) The majority are, from this point on. If you have a moment, share your thoughts in a comment. :) And as always, thanks for reading.
Chloe
She stirred against stiff sheets as the soft voice tugged her up out of the smothering dark.
"Mmm?"
Her throat felt like sandpaper, her mouth was an endless desert, and she grimaced, her brows closing down tight.
Are you alright?
"Umwa?"
Those are unintelligible responses, darling. Try a little harder?
The voice tugged insistently at her, it's cadence familiar, the tone warm and playful.
Her eyes fluttered open.
"Lu..ci..fer?" she rasped.
A face filled her vision, already overwhelmed by the cold glow of fluorescent lighting, and it took a moment for her to label it with a name.
"...Dan?"
His mouth split in a wide grin and she felt his hand wrap around her own, urgently reassuring.
"Hey, Chlo, I'm here. How are you feeling?"
She watched his features shift with each word, a great deal of her still not quite here, though she was trying to be.
Where was here?
Dan's warm hand stroked the side of her head. "You're still a little loopy, huh."
He irritates me no end, but he does truly care for you, Chloe.
The voice rose about her, and she glanced around what was clearly a hospital room, replete with vases of flowers on a shelf nearby, looking for its source.
"Lucifer?"
Dan frowned and shook his head. "Sorry Chloe. He's not here, and Amenadiel's not saying much. Just that they took him home? No idea where that is though - he ever say?"
I'm right here actually, he just can't see me.
"Where?" she asked the voice, which had no clear source at all.
And then he was standing, beside the bed opposite from Dan, in a crisp blue three-piece suit and white shirt, looking perfectly himself and smiling a warm, yet oddly sad, smile.
"Oh my God..." she rasped, lifting her hand towards him, expecting him to take it. "I thought... you were dead..."
Lucifer brought a finger to his mouth and glanced at Dan. He made no move towards her.
She frowned. Something seemed odd about how he looked.
Then she realized - his ring was gone.
"Who you talking to, Chloe?"
Frowning, she looked back at Dan.
"Lucifer," she whispered, and looked over to point at him, belatedly noticing the IV in the back of her hand.
The man she loved shook his head.
He can't see me, Chloe.
Lucifer's mouth didn't move at all as the voice filled her head. He just smiled.
Sadly.
Dan looked to where she had pointed, then back at her, his eyes worried. "He's... he's not here, Chloe."
He fumbled then, looking for something next to her side. Pulling it up, he pressed the call button for the nurse.
I'm so sorry, Chloe, came Lucifer's voice once more.
"Oh..." she said, as her heart ached with a sudden, terrible pain. "Oh..."
She reached for Lucifer again, wanting him to hold her hand. Just a simple touch. He was right there, why couldn't he just...
A nurse in rainbow scrubs walked into the room, passing through Lucifer as she walked to the side of the bed.
Lucifer grimaced.
And vanished.
And Chloe began to cry.
"I can come back?" the nurse said beside her, as Chloe lifted her hand to cover her eyes and her sobs grew louder still.
"Oh, Chloe," Dan said softly, squeezing her hand. "I'm sure Lucifer's okay."
His voice shifted as he turned from her. "She was seeing things - that from the drugs?"
"Don't think so. She's on very light doses of morphine and a blood thinner. That's it. Was she just waking up?"
"Yeah."
"That's probably why. She'll be disoriented for a little while. It's normal."
Chloe wanted them both to go away, and tried to mumble that, but the words were lost to tears.
A hand touched her lightly on the arm. "Sweetheart, can I get you anything? Water? How's your pain?"
"Go away... please," she finally managed, her hand still covering her eyes. "Please."
The hand withdrew. "I'll come back later."
Chloe finally brought the grief back under control, and lowered her hand as she swallowed her tears.
Blinking up furiously, she looked at Dan.
"Thank you for being here."
He beamed, and squeezed her hand. "Of course, Chlo. I couldn't believe it when they told me what happened, it was-"
"Can you give me some time alone?"
"Oh." He pulled back a little, and nodded, the smile fading. "Oh, sure. Trixie's out in the waiting room, hanging out with another kid. You okay if she comes in?"
She frowned at him, trying to put pieces together. "How long was I out?"
Lucifer's voice returned playfully.
Three years.
"Oh my god," she mumbled, as the tears hit her again, hard. "Oh god..."
Oh, Chloe.
"Chloe, hey, it's only been a couple of days. You lost a lot of blood and scared everybody for a minute there, but you're okay now."
"Please, Dan," she groaned, struggling to appear in control. "I just need a moment."
Dan's hand left her own, and he stood. "Yeah, okay. I'll come back in fifteen minutes, that okay?"
Not trusting herself to speak, she nodded.
Giving her a small smile, Dan left the room and closed the door behind him.
It's strange being privy to his thoughts now. He's really quite a smart man. And he has such love for you, Chloe.
Lucifer was standing again, at the side of the bed, his suit impeccable, his smile hesitant.
Chloe reached for him, her mouth twisting in pain. "Give me your hand."
His smile fell.
"Do it," she said through a sob. Her throat was so tight it hurt. "I have to see."
With a sigh she felt, he walked away from her hand, and moved to take the spot Dan had just held. His movement was odd, with a faint blurriness that made her skin crawl.
With sad eyes, he leaned over her, as if to kiss the crown of her head.
And she felt nothing.
He sighed and stood, and wouldn't meet her eye.
Chloe. I'm sorry.
The tears would not be stopped then, and she turned onto her good arm away from him and curled up as far as her bound arm would allow.
Please don't cry, please.
"You don't get to tell me that!" she yelled, tasting the salt of her tears as they spilled into her mouth. She wrapped an arm about herself. "You're dead... and you died because of me."
I died because of Remiel, Chloe, not you.
"What?" She turned back to him slightly, tears still flooding her eyes, wincing as her arm shifted badly. "Remiel?"
His mouth twisted in a mean smirk.
Oh yes. She never got over what I did. She saw it as the perfect solution to get me back to Hell.
She frowned, watching him as the words filled her head. "Why don't your lips move when you talk?"
He smiled. Because it would be pointless. I can mouth words at you but they have no sound. I'm not in a body that produces it anymore. I put my thoughts into your head instead.
His smile softened, and he mouthed three words clearly:
I love you
It broke her heart. Turning back to him, she reached her good hand out towards his cheek.
He pulled back and shook his head. You don't want to do that. It will only hurt.
"Please."
With a soft, ethereal sigh, he leaned forward, his gaze downward, his mouth a thin line.
She drew closer, willing herself to feel the warmth of the skin she could see so clearly, the rough stubble of his cheek.
But her hand passed through him as if he were smoke.
He was right. It hurt.
Closing her eyes, drawing her hand back to herself, she cried.
He did not tell her to stop, but she heard his sighs and a few soft swear words in the midst of her tears.
It helped the smallest bit, and she finished, staring at a spot of nothing across the room.
Chloe, love, my brother left something for you on the side table there.
She sighed, and shook her head, her gaze still held by the far wall. "I don't want gifts."
This is not a gift.
Frowning, she looked at him. "What then?"
He nodded towards the side table, and hovered a finger over a small leather bag.
I'd hand it to you but I'm a little corporeally challenged.
A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth despite her grief.
Oh, lovely. I felt your response to that. I'm glad you enjoyed my joke.
She sighed then and made a token effort to get the bag, but her bad arm was enough of a roadblock to make it impossible.
"I'll look later."
Alright.
Something he'd said before about Remiel hit her then, and she looked up at him in alarm.
No, her plan didn't work, he answered her unspoken question.
You're reading my thoughts?
I feel everything you feel and hear your thoughts as if they were my own. I do love hearing your voice though.
He smiled.
"You... you went to Heaven?" she whispered, feeling a sudden swell of emotion she couldn't quite label.
He laughed, and the sound shimmered through her. It was the most carefree sound she'd ever heard him make.
Relief, is the emotion I think. There's joy there too. He grinned. It was quite the scene - Peter at the gates welcoming me with open arms, a fanfare of angels singing my praises, and cherubs swinging by with glasses of fine malt whiskey...
Chloe's face crinkled. "Really?"
No, he sent with a grin. Azrael had to sneak me in through the back, and told me to keep a low profile for a century or two while she sorted some of my less forgiving siblings out. Quite a few of the apostles were shocked actually, as they'd never really had a chance to know me before my Fall, so lots of fussing about on their part.
Chloe found herself getting angry at apostles, and wasn't quite sure what to do with that.
Lucifer's smile grew wistful. A rare look that made her heart ache.
It felt incredible to be back, Chloe. I just wish... it had been before I died. His gaze fell and she tried to reach for him, wanting so much to be of comfort.
But she stopped, and let her hand sag back to her chest, knowing what would happen.
Lucifer's gaze rose again. I'd forgotten what home was like. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed it.
Chloe stared at him for a long moment, caught up in what she could see in his gaze.
Peace.
"Can you take me?" she asked, meaning it in a casual way, but such a swell of longing followed it that she realized it meant something very different.
His smile fell slightly and he shook his head.
No. But I will see you there one day, which is more than I ever thought I'd have.
She nodded, and the wall caught her gaze again.
"When," she said flatly.
Chloe, look at me.
She closed her eyes, letting go of one tear, before turning to look at him.
His gaze was sharp, and held a great deal of worry.
When it's time. And not before.
"Mmm," she said, returning to look at the wall.
Chloe.
She did not turn.
My love.
With a deep sigh, catching the edge of a sob, she looked at him again.
You mustn't do what you're thinking. You have a life very much worth living.
Nodding vaguely, she gave him a smile that meant nothing.
"I think I need some time alone."
His beautiful mouth, framed by his perfectly groomed stubble, frowned.
I think that's a mistake.
"Please go away," she breathed, and looked down at the back of her hand where the IV line was taped.
No, he answered, straightening with the same frown, before it softened. I rather like the view.
She scowled at him. "What? Me in a hospital bed again? You like that?"
Eyes widening, he quickly shook his head. No, that's not what I meant.
"I don't want you here anymore, Lucifer!" she snapped, her voice rising much higher than she meant.
He vanished.
It hurt. It all hurt too much, and now that the painkillers were wearing off, her arm was joining in on the fun.
Her mind wandered over the fact that she was on intravenous morphine.
It wandered over the fact and wandered back. She turned, to trace the line from her IV up to the saline bag on the nearby stand, and back down again to the blue pump the line was fed through. Attached to it was another unit packed with a large syringe. There were numbers on the display - probably the delivery rate, if she had to guess.
This was the morphine, wasn't it?
She reached over and pressed the up arrow button next to the delivery rate.
It did nothing.
Frowning, she stabbed at it, then tried to hit more of the buttons in the hope of releasing whatever hold was put in place.
Chloe.
"My arm hurts!" she mumbled, as her eyes flooded again, and the display blurred away. "I told you to go away!"
My dear Chloe. I will never leave your side.
"Oh, GREAT!" she spat. "That's the kind of afterlife you need, stuck to me like a spectral tick!"
Making noises that had no hope of being words, she groped at the pump, struggling to free the syringe. It was stuck behind some kind of plastic shield. There was a slot for a key... where was the key?
There. On the table to her right, pushed away from the bed. Probably not supposed to be there, but she didn't care. Straining, making her arm so much worse, she pulled the table near and claimed the key.
She'd just take all of it, that would fix everything, wouldn't it?!
No. Do NOT do this.
He stood beside her again, his eyes wild with worry, his mouth framing the same word over and over.
STOP
"We had something I will never have again, Lucifer. I will never hold you again. I can't even hold your hand. I can't... I can't do this..."
Her groping fingers opened the shield about the syringe, and she plucked it free with a quick rush of odd relief.
She just had to squeeze this, deliver it all in one go, and the pain would be gone.
Wouldn't it? Was it a large enough dose?
Chloe, you have a CHILD
"Who has a father," Chloe snapped back at him, her throat closing tight. Her hands hovered over the depressor, willing herself to push.
She did have a child. Trixie would be so hurt.
Look at me.
She pressed a little, but it didn't really move. She hadn't thought it would be this hard.
LOOK AT ME
Chloe looked, her world blurred to tears, feeling hopeless and shattered. She was supposed to be strong. This wasn't strong.
This was so terribly weak.
Lucifer's form, just a blurry smudge of color to her weeping eyes, began to glow.
The colors coalesced into streams of brilliant white light, that grew in intensity until they burned like the heart of the brightest star. The light flooded her eyes, her mind, and every part of her wounded being with a love beyond anything she had ever felt, or would ever feel again.
Everything else disappeared - the room, the bed, the syringe in her hand - and she floated within that light, bathed by it, comforted by it, and part of it, for a time she had no will to measure.
