JourneysEnd1
Oooooo… heheheh… oh my god yes, I missed this…
Elderfire1
*sprays with water* Bad! Bad beta! No fantasising over the abs!
JourneysEnd1
You're just making them sexier with the water!
Elderfire1
For gods' sake you perverted little shit!
Pink Lemonade
Chapter 18
Battle of the abs!
Neo was engaged in the most important battle of her life, more important than any of her heists, more important than the battle at the docks, hell! It was more important than battling her inner urge to not try and kill Fire Bitch!
It had all started when Mr Abs mom had dared to make that comment!
10 minutes earlier
"Ah… it's been too long since I got to go on a little stroll around Beacon with you, my fuzzy bear" His mom said with a serene expression as she hung off of his dad's arm, despite how Jaune himself was busy trying to find the nearest deep, dark pit to dive into to escape the weird looks the rest of Beacon was giving the weirder quartet he found himself in.
There was his aforementioned mom, happy as can be as she grinned while taking in the sights of the rest of Beacon. She even tried to swing on a pole as they went by… only for her mace to collide with another one and send in careening off into the distance and very nearly taking the ears off of poor Velvet Scarlatina, who squeaked in terror when the top of the post slipped between those ears of hers. At least his mom had the decency to look embarrassed and shouted to the fleeing girl that she'd make her carrot cake as an apology. This lead to the next person in their little group.
His dad simply sighed into his hand, sending a disapproving look to his mom who sunk her head deeper into her shoulders. Unfortunately, his dad shared his weakness for cute things and, with a simple wobble of her lips and a puppy dog eyed look from between her lashes, he relented and pulled her into a hug. Every person who walked by and caught his dads eye jumped back in terror for some odd reason… why were they acting so scared? His dad was literally a big puppy of a man who was wrapped around his moms' finger and preferred lazing around in a big fuzzy dressing gown with a cup of coco… meh, he guessed people were just weird.
Onto the third member of the trio, Neo happily swung on his arm with yellow eyes peaking from in-between her lashes, he honestly couldn't imagine her looking happier… well, maybe if his mom wasn't obsessed with the idea of trying to one up her in how lovey dovey she could be with dad… urgh… She and his mom and dad had bonded really well, his mom had already loved her the second Neo showed off her natural cuteness and his dad had just been impressed with how Jaune had managed to convince her to date him. They had liked her even more when he had told them how good a fighter Neo was, his dad liking how practical her weapon was (He wasn't the only Arc who preferred simple but effective) while his mom had simply… heh… he was beginning to think she had a problem when her only comment had been how cute it looked…
That left him, poor lanky him, who was doing his best to try not scream as his mom once again squeed at the sight of the lunch hall, reminiscing with his dad about the time they'd snuck in their after hours and-NOPE he did not need that kind of mental scarring. Instead he chose to ask his dad what was on his shirt, it almost looked like blood!
"Hrmm? Oh! Darn, I guess I spilled some jam on myself!" he groaned, trying to wipe it away with a tissue he grabbed from his pocket but to no avail. "I was busy talking with Doctor Oobleck and having a quick snack while I waited for Joan to get back… yeah, I know, I should have known your mother wouldn't just wait to speak to you. Must have dropped my toast on myself when the school started to… break"
In the distance, he watched Professor Port dragging himself out of some rubble his mom must have left him in, before the famously 'heroic' teacher took one look at his mom and ran away in terror, screaming like a little girl…
At least his dad was repairing any damage he came across… that was a plus, right?
His thoughts were distracted when his dad, in his attempts to clean his shirt, pulled the bottom of it up to try and use that to smear away the jam, exposing his muscled and hairy midsection… oh no…
His mom was already gone, eyes wide and a small amount of drool leaking from the corner of her mouth, her shaky hands coming up as she clearly tried to restrain herself from touching up his poor dad.
He looked to Neo in worry, expecting to feel a little betrayal as his abs obsessed girlfriend parroted his mom. Well, she was staring at him, but she was not doing it with the same look she got with him… a look of disgust crossed her face as she stuck out her tongue and silently said 'yuck'… huh… he would not have expected the big amount of pride that flowed through him at the way she hugged his side and let her hands wander over his smooth stomach, that look on her face turning serene as she did it.
Unfortunately, this was where things went wrong…
"Excuse me? And what is wrong with my husband's magnificent body?"
Hairy bodies are gross! Can't beat a lovely, smooth stomach! Neo defended proudly, pressing her hand to her boyfriends' sexy abs with a grin.
"How dare you! Hairy bodies are the sign of a man!... No offence sweetie" Mr Abs' mom said with an apologetic look to him, weirdly her boyfriend was blushing red… his mom must have embarrassed him with her insult! She would defend her boyfriend!
Bleh, it'd get all sticky and gross with even the tiniest bit of work! I don't wanna touch something and come away with a matt of hair!
"You don't know the sheer pleasure of running your fingers through a mans chest hair as you lay in bed together!" she countered, now both Mr Abs and Grizzly (*Editors note: YES. We know the joke. Don't bother making it. It's just the best way to describe how Neo sees Jaune's dad -_-) were red, she could have sworn there was steam coming out of their ears… Hrmm… weird…
Shaking her head, Neo refused to let this woman think she had beaten her!
Don't need to! I've felt his bare skin pressing against my body as he's ravaged my neck! That taught, smooth skin brushing against my own is a feeling that can't be beaten!
Jaune briefly emerged from his near catatonic state to meet the fist bump his dad offered to him.
"Oh Puh-lease! You really think anything can beat this!?" she shouted, marching over to Grizzly and producing a knife to cut away at his shirt and baring his tanned skin to the world! Forcing herself not to vomit at all the hair, Neo was confused as to why a bunch of girls and some guys all spurted blood from their noses and proceeded to pass out, all while shouting 'eeeeee!'.
Big Momma smirked in what she thought was victory, proudly spreading her arms out as she did while Grizzly simply sighed in what Neo could tell was defeat! The way he smiled embarrassedly, patting his wife on the head while using his other hand to cover himself up. Hah! He must know he will never be able to beat Mr Abs!
Not letting up for even a second, Neo marched over to her boyfriend, who tried to back up for some reason, before she proceeded to use her undressing skills to whip off his chest armour and jacket in seconds and throw up his vest and shirt to reveal his toned and corded muscle beneath! He was even kind enough to keep his arms above his head, like they were trapped, which caused the muscles to tense and stretch to… look so… heheheh…
Cue the remaining girls, and again some guys, in the hallway to 'eeeeee!' and pass out with just as much blood as Big Momma had gotten!
That same ginger idiot from their date the other day appeared from around the corner with a look of confusion on his face before he spotted them, he simply looked down at his own body with a look of annoyance, before heading off to the place where Mr Abs had told her the gyms were located.
Mr Abs hasn't got the chub Grizzly has! His is all toned and corded that pushes against his skin with every movement! I could grate cheese on this stuff! I could clean my underwear on these washboard abs!
Despite being blind thanks to Neo pulling his shirt over his face, Jaune had the distinct feeling that she had just signed something that only she didn't realise how dirty it sounded.
Plus, why oh why would I ever want a face full of fur when I hugged him!? EW! I mean, a bit of stubble on his face!? Hell yeah! But that? Hah! I'd rather fight a Grimm with a toothpick!
"Better get used to it! My little baby will grow up to be just like his dad!" All those that had fainted before and had now woken up, looked between her boyfriend and Grizzly, before licking their lips excitedly… she'd need to address that later… preferably stabbily. "Which means he'll end up just as hairy, if not hairier!"
Neo stalled in the reply she'd already had planned in her head… images of her sexy and smooth boyfriend turning into a ball of gross, curly hair filled her head. That… HOW DARE SHE DESTROY HER SEXY MENTAL IMAGES!
Weiss charged through the Beacon courtyard with her team and the rest of Jaune's team in tow. She had been busy… Heh… she had been busy regretting her choices in Beacon concerning a certain blonde knight, once the thunderous booms and shaking that had struck their school subsided and they were able to walk properly without being bounced around by the shockwaves and had pushed their way through the panicked masses of students, they had hurriedly made their way to where they hoped they wouldn't find their missing friend and the source of the explosions. They were both worried for Jaune and Neo's safety as well as desperate for answers on what was going on.
As they rounded the corner, Weiss caught sight of the two in question, alongside another pair of older p-OH MY OUM!
"T-Topless… Oooooh my…" was all Weiss was able to say as all went black, the last thing she saw was the toned and bare body of an embarrassed looking Jaune.
Neo made to silently roar her fury at this woman who dared say such blasphemy… only for the now familiar scream of "FILTH!" to stop her dead in her tracks.
Turning around in confusion, Neo spotted all her new friends in Beacon staring at her, well, more like they were staring at her boyfriend and Grizzly.
Blondie and Amber Eyes were staring with more amusement than anything, holding hands in a way that made Neo internally squee in joy. Though Blondie did grin a little and nudge Amber Eyes, asking if Grizzly was a secret bear Faunus in disguise, to which she got an elbow in the ribs.
Captain Neutral looked completely unfazed by it all, simply cocking an eyebrow and covering up the eyes of Cow Tits who had, somehow, gotten hold of a score card with a big '10' on it.
Red was busy covering her face and was as red as her nickname, it was almost like she was a stuck record and kept muttering 'nope' like it was going out of style.
Nikos and Princess were… currently passed out on the floor with big and dopey grins on their faces, red as can be with big trails of blood leaking down their noses… she'd also need to solve that later… damn Mr Abs accidentally getting all the girls obsessed with him!
"EEP!" Jaune yelped, forcing his shirt down much to Neo's annoyance as she proceeded to push her face into his stomach while smirking at his glaring mom who did the exact same with his dad who just looked resigned at this point. "Umm… Neo? Do um… do you mind l-letting go?" he squeaked, looking down at his tiny girlfriend who was trying to pull his shirt up again and threw him the cutest of puppy dog eyes including lip wobble… Must… Resist! Neo's eyes turned teary and she sniffled a little… Dang it!
"Heh… fine" he groaned, she grinned and those tears evaporated instantly, he could have sworn he saw them flash into a darker colour for a second as she pulled it up and let his shirt fall over her head, wrapping her arms around his waist and feeling her body shake as she silently giggled like a loon… what had he landed himself in again?
"I know your pain son… I know your pain… no man of Arc has ever been able to gain the affections of a beautiful woman without her being slightly insane" his dad said with a faraway look in his eyes as his mom was currently rubbing her face into his dads' chest.
"Mmm… you love my craziness" his mom cooed, tearing herself away from him and finally looking as his still shellshocked friends. "Oh sweetie! Would you like to introduce me to your friends?" she asked like she hadn't just gotten into a 'who's partner is sexier' contest! "Are… Are your friends alright, sweetie? A couple of them are bleeding quite heavily…" Okay… at least she was being kinda sane… though that did raise the question as to why Pyrrha and Weiss were passed out…
Deep breaths Jaune… Deep breaths… your mom hasn't killed you for running off to Beacon… take your victories where you can…
"Y-Yeah… Umm… Neo? You actually need to let go now… kinda hard to uh… move" he chuckled lightly, embarrassed and a little afraid of the looks his friends were giving him… especially Yang… oh gods… luckily Weiss wasn't conscious to yell at him for public indecency... which is not something he ever thought would be seen as a positive, now that he thought about it.
Neo, and he shouldn't have been surprised by this, did the exact opposite of what he asked.
She popped out from under his shirt and immediately clambered up him like an adorable, if embarrassing, squirrel and span around him until she was able to rest her head on his neck with arms lazily thrown over his shoulders and legs wrapped tightly around his waist… well... at least this was a lot less embarrassing? This was kind of the usual for him and Neo at this point.
"Heh… fine…" he smiled, turning and giving her cheek a small kiss which she clearly greatly appreciated. "M-Mom and d-dad, th-these are my friends"
"A pleasure to meet you… I just wish we could meet in less… revealing circumstances" his dad awkwardly greeted, waving a hand in the air that had his team laughing a little awkwardly, Weiss and Pyrrha just murmured some weird things in their not so conscious state that had Neo glaring angrily at them for some reason. "How about we go and find somewhere where we can chat in peace? And I can repair my shirt…"
"Aw… do you have to?" His mom asked, his dad showing a rare moment of annoyance as he narrowed his eyes to which his mom sighed and nodded. "Fiiiine… not my fault you're sexy…"
Neo watched from her elevated position on her boyfriends' back as all their friends awkwardly led them to a quiet little area where they could talk, but none more awkwardly than Princess and Nikos… the two of them were blushing up a storm and refused to look at her boyfriend, well they did, but Neo was always there to give them a black eyed glare which led to them quickly going back to finding the ground very interesting… it annoyed her how long it had taken her to realise that Nikos was also interested in her boyfriend as more than just a friend!
Seriously, how could she have been so blind? The girl was always around him, seeing his awesomeness, his kindness to anyone and everyone he felt deserved it… oh gods she'd had unrestricted access to seeing his abs! All those times he must have walked out of the steamy shower while shirtless! Walking around in his open onesie… s… sleeping over the sheets…with… only his boxers… eheheheh…
"Neo?" tall, blond and sex-Mr Abs asked her, a confused and kinda grossed out look on his face. "You're uh… drooling on me" he whispered, Neo glad his parents were too busy fawning over each other so they didn't see her hurriedly wipe away the drool on her chin and gave him the most apologetic look she could possibly give. He… didn't look convinced, trying to wipe away the drool she'd left on him without seeming too obvious about it… I'm sorry! I was… I was… heh… I'll get off now...
She made to get off and to try and see if her Semblance would let her disappear into thin air, when a firm but gentle hand moved to grip her by the arm.
"Hey… don't worry, you've never seen how gross I can be, plus I've had worse splat on me" he grinned, a kindness in his eyes that made her blush a little. "Literally had a Grimm with acidic puke once bleh on me in one of my teachers' classes. Apparently, he thought it would be educational, doesn't change how I was left standing in nothing but my falling apart boxers…"
Neo turned her black and red eyes onto Nikos and Princess as she caught sight of them staring below the belt of her boyfriend… the drawing of her blade caught their attention right quick and she enjoyed the look of fear in their eyes. MINE!
Okay… sorry, I was... heheh, well I was imagining you in your onesie looking kinda sexy… she admitted, trying to hide her grin when he went red and mumbled a 'th-thanks' to her. She kissed his cheek; glad he had forgiven her little drooling accident.
She looked up to see where they were going, only to see Big Momma grinning at her like she'd just won a million Lien and wiggling her eyebrows. Blushing, Neo averted her eyes and pushed her head into Mr Abs' neck, to which he also went red and grumbled "Moooom…"
"Right! Here should be alright… Would you like to introduce your friends son?" Grizzly asked, completely oblivious to how his wife was acting… Oum, like father like son…
"S-Sure!" he answered, walking in front of his still confused looking friends. "So… this is my team, Nora, Ren and my partner Pyrrha"
"Heya! I'm Nora!" Cow Tits said cheerily, dragging Captain Neutral and Nikos up with her. "Nice to meet you bearded Jaune and tiny-scary-lady! This is my partner and bestie Ren! I'm Nora! Oh wait, already said that, oh well! kinda gonna get a lil discombobulated when ya smack ya head off've a ceiling suddenly like I did earlier! Oh, did I say this is best friend since forever Ren?"
Grizzly seemed a little flustered at her words, not that Neo could blame him, whereas Big Momma just cackled and pulled the over inflated ginger into a hug.
"Wow, your boyfriend is a lucky man! Such a bubbly personality and such big… eyes!" Big Momma grinned, though Neo saw the twitch in her eyebrow as those eyes looked down for the tiniest moment, Cow Tits blushed uncharacteristically and looked over at Captain Neutral for a second before turning away again.
… oh my~ I am going to have fun with that~
Captain Neutral looked beyond embarrassed, moving past his partner with a blush of his own.
"Hello, my name is Lie Ren, I am a member of your sons' team, he is an amazing leader and friend who I will gladly entrust my life to... also myself and my partner are not together like that…"
The look of 'suuuuuuure…' was strong on Big Momma as Grizzly shook Captain Neutral's hand and then turned to the final member of his team… who looked a little nervous…
Pyrrha looked beyond nervous and he had a feeling he knew the answer. It had to be because of her fame and how she hated people treating her like she was nothing but a title… well, he knew his parents and they were like him. They didn't care about that sorta stuff, not mentioning how his mom was probably worth about 10 of her and would welcome Pyrrha as just his friend and teammate!
The only reason she'd be mean to Pyrrha is if she thought she had a crush on him, and he had to stop himself bursting out loud in laughter of that thought of something so ridiculous.
Okay Pyrrha… keep calm… these people are just the parents of the boy you still have a crush on despite how he has a girlfriend-Stupid, tiny, annoying midg- "Hello! My name is Pyrrha Nikos, teammate and partner of your son"
"Huh… you know… I think I've seen you somewhere before…" His dad mumbled, a thoughtful look on his face as he scratched his beard while his mom walked right up to Pyrrha with narrowed eyes.
"Hrrmmm…" she rubbed her chin and pulled out her scroll for a moment, scrolling through what he could only assume was the DustNet… wait, no. That was her images. Why… was she going into the folder she'd made for him? Oh no… oh no, oh no, oh no! This was not happening! Oh, gods' no! "Oh! Here it is!" aaahhh!
A scroll was shoved in her face and Pyrrha's brain stalled.
It was Jaune… a younger Jaune… adorably holding a box of Pumpkin Pete cereal with what she could assume was his sisters making k-kissy faces behind him… his lips were… were quite c-close to a cardboard version of her younger self during her first ever deal with the company…
"I knew I recognised you from somewhere! It's so nice to see the girl behind the cereal!" she giggled, pulling Pyrrha in for a hug that had her making an uncharacteristic 'eep!'
"Hah! Oh, our Jaune used to have such a crush on you!" His dad grinned, even as Jaune internally died from embarrassment! Had he? He didn't remember that… or more likely he'd repressed it as a traumatic memory thanks to his sisters.
"Oh… r-really now?" she said, her voice strained a little, more than likely from how awkward she must have felt with what his parents were saying. Though... he did feel Neo's grip on him I-increase just a little!
"Yep! Bet he didn't remember you though, our Jaune was always a bit dense" he grinned, Jaune coming to her rescue by standing by her side with a hand gently laid on her shoulder to comfort her.
"Dad! C'mon, Pyrrha doesn't wanna hear that! I mean, Pyrrha, liking me? That's just ridiculous!" he laughed, really, that was a ridiculous idea!
SON OF A-AAAARRHHG! YOU STUPID, SEXY, DENSE MOTHER FUC-
"Anyway, mom and dad? These are my other friends and sister team, team RWBY!" he grinned, Ruby and Blake coming up first, Blake looking a bit awkward while Ruby was just… heh, she was pulling a Ruby and was too busy staring at his mom and dad's weapons to realise she was being what some people would call rude.
Him? He just found it adorable.
"H-Hi… My name is uh…" Ruby stammered cutely, fiddling with her fingers and he honestly expected his mom to squee… which is why he was really confused when she kneeled down and looked at the little reaper kindly.
"Hello sweetheart, my name is Joan, would you like to look at my weapon? You seem to be more than a little interested in her"
The squee Ruby let out was honestly beyond cute, but it was made hilarious as his mom held her mace out in one hand for Ruby to hold only for his friend to get dragged to the ground by the sheer weight of it, his mom laughing gently and picking his friend and her mace back up.
Looking over at his dad, Jaune was glad he wasn't drinking anything because the Arc patriarch looked like he was giving her a lecture while poor Blake looked like she wanted to scream.
"-I mean, I get it, there are a bunch of racist idiots out there who'd treat you badly for being a Faunus. But seriously, a bow? I won't lie when I say it's… not the best disguise? I mean, me and Joan thought you were just going for a fashion statement, but now I know it's meant to be a disguise… wow"
"… You are right sir… You are completely right. What on Remnant was I thinking?" she said with a monotone and defeated lilt to her voice, walking over to a nearby lamppost and beginning to bang her head on it, muttering about both her own stupidity and her teams… he thought he also caught her cursing his family? What had they done to deserve that?
Shaking his head, Jaune turned to see Yang and Weiss coming up next.
Well, Yang did and Weiss just ended up getting dragged up with her… she also looked really nervous… weird.
"Heya! Name's Yang! Resident brawler, party girl and pun maker" she grinned, though it faltered when his mom and dad groaned and Jaune honestly couldn't tell why.
"Not another one…" His dad mumbled, before shaking his head and smiling at her, though he did look worriedly at Blake who was banging her head even harder against the pole. "Sorry about that, we just… well, we went here with your dad and oh my Oum the puns…"
"Whoa, you went to school with the old man?"
"Yeah… Just… Just don't make the puns… please" his mom pleaded from her kneeling position, where Ruby was still in 'pretty weapon land' and therefore was dead to the world, which she only ever did when she wanted his dad to make crepes, so… just how bad were Yang's dads' puns? If they were worse than hers… oh gods… how had Beacon survived it?
"Heh… fine~" she grinned, gently nudging Weiss forward who messed with her skirt and fiddled with her jacket.
"G-Greetings, I am Weiss Schnee, Heiress to the Schnee Dust Company, member of Team RWBY and friend of yo-"
"Oh. You" she said in a cold and angry voice a golden glow beginning to form around her. "I've heard quite a bit about you from Jaune's sister Saphron... I am not impressed. Let me make myself perfectly clear when I say that I don't like you, nor does Jaune's father or his sisters. Luckily for you, my baby thinks you're worth keeping in his life, so I'll play nice for his sake. But let me make another thing clear. Hurt my boy? I'll atomize you"
"Mom!" Mr Abs shouted, a frown on his face as he placed a hand on Princess's shoulder, her blushing annoyingly at how protective her boyfriend was being… heh… she guessed it was fine though, she couldn't blame her for this one.
"It's alright Jaune" Princess quickly interjected, recovering like a pro. "I was horrible to you… perhaps the best way I can show your parents and family as a whole that I wish you only happiness is by simply treating you as I always should have, a kind young man who just wants to make people happy... it has come to my attention there are quite a few things I wish to change about myself since coming to Beacon and how I treat those around me is at the top" she smiled sincerely and even Neo, begrudgingly, admitted that she thought the scene was really sweet.
"Hey, no worries Weiss, I kinda deserved it. Don't change for anyone by the way, what makes you amazing is how you don't let anyone define who you are. The only changes you should make are ones that make you happy"
Weiss felt three murderous auras zero in on her at the well-meaning dolts words, curse her blushing cheeks!
A little while later, Neo had dismounted her boyfriends shoulders and was instead sat in his lap on the grass with the others, silently laughing at her poor embarrassed boyfriend.
"So. You're telling me that Jaune decided that, instead of looking up what aura and semblances were in a book, he instantly believed you both just had magic!? HAH! OH, MY OUM! AHAHAHA!" Blondie cackled, falling over onto the grass as Mr Ab's parents retold the story of explaining their powers to their son who blushed redder than a field of strawberries in summer.
"Yes! We were so scared he would go off and try and be a Huntsman, despite the fact he was only 10, that we just came up with the first thing to come into our heads!" his dad roared with laughter, wiping away a tear before he turned her boyfriend with an all together more serious look. "I gotta be honest though son… we were wrong-I, was wrong… you have already proven I should have taken you seriously when you said you wanted to become a Huntsman… I… I…"
"Heh, what you father is trying to say, sweetie, is that we're proud of you. You wield Crocea Mors like she was made for you" Big Momma finished, a sincere and loving smile on her face as both his parents pulled their son into a hug that he eagerly returned.
"Th-Thanks… I… You have no idea how much that means to me" he smiled, Neo grinning at him happily, leaning up and giving him a kiss that left him pleasantly red. "So… uh… moving on-"
"Hah! Oh my Oum, magic!? Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous!?" Blondie cackled even more, running short on breath until a well placed elbow from Amber Eyes alerted her to the glare Big Momma was giving her, Neo grinning evilly at how she immediately sat ramrod straight with wide eyes and lips sealed shut.
"-Where are the girls? I thought you said they were here?" he asked, a confused look on his face as Neo suddenly froze… there was a sudden disturbance in the air… an intense and primal fear resonating throughout her entire being...
"Whatever do you mean, Sweetie?~" She answered in an all too sweet and cheerful voice for her liking, and Mr Abs' too, if the way he stiffened was anything to go off of. "They're right behind you."
"Oh cra-!"
Was all she heard her boyfriend yell before Neo was suddenly engulfed by shadow as several voices all shouted out at once.
"JAUNE!"
