Using the quarantine to the hilt. This one is a bit of a longish author's note but bear with me for a moment. Some of you maybe, rightfully, wondering, that it maybe a tad OOC for Aang to do what he did. Him being the pacifist and all. And I agree, yes, it does seem OOC at first glance. Does seem a big stretch. I mean this was the guy that went to a turtle to seek advice as to how not to kill a genocidal tyrant. For him to resort to this level does seem OOC. I will be the first to agree with you. In fact, this was the aspect of the story that had troubled me the most too. I had, at one point, entertained the idea of Aang being possessed by an evil spirit but I nixed the idea after further introspection. I have two good reasons for showing Aang the way I have.

Here are my reasons. Firstly, Aang was a man out of place and time. Being frozen in the iceberg for 100 years, he didn't understand the way the world had changed. As you maybe noticing around you right now, when faced with changes/circumstances people don't understand, their behavior changes. As I see it, as Aang grew, the difference between him and the world became more and more prominent to him. He held on to the century old beliefs of a people who are now extinct. That gets tougher and tougher with each passing day. Add to that a world recovering from a war and things get off-kilter very quickly.

Second being, that Aang was 12 when he was in the show. Idealism in that age is very easy. As we grow up, the world stops becoming black and white and becomes grey. There are some famous 'paragons of peace' who have a monster hiding behind their glittering images, throughout human history. And Aang didn't really know how to handle pressure well. He was a smooth liar (Entering Omashu using an alias) , could easily manipulate and gaslight people (the story about the Redemption game), he let adulation and power get to his head, and was possessive of Katara. I see these aspects of his character as that of an emotional abuser. (Something that LoK heavily alludes to with Bumi and Kya's conversation). How much of a stretch is it for an emotional abuser to become a physical one?

You may or may not agree with me, and I'm perfectly okay with both. This is strictly my interpretation.

In this chapter, I offer some more conversation and I mess with Zuko a bit. Because, really, that is so much fun!


Chapter 19

Katara woke up from her dreamless sleep suddenly and completely. The first thing she realized was that Zuko was not next to her. Last evening, after she had poured her heart out to him, they sat in the cliff in an awkward tangle of limbs for goodness knows how long. Eventually, Zuko reminded her that their security detail, who had been standing out of earshot, needed to eat. It was only then that they made their way down the cliff and into the summer house.

They had made their way back to the house in silence. Katara had wanted to forego dinner and head to bed, but Zuko wouldn't have any of that. He insisted on her having a cup of soup at the very least before she hit the bed. She didn't have the energy to fight him and complied without a word. Once done, he had taken her to bed and picked out a nightgown for her from the clothes they had purchased earlier that day. She could barely remember changing and flopping on the bed, completely spent.

When Jion had told her that speaking would help, Katara had not believed him. Not completely. But now that she had shared her deepest and darkest secret with Zuko, she felt as though a mountain had been lifted off her chest. She breathed easier than she had in a lifetime.

"Good night, Katara. I'm right next door, should you need me, okay?" With those words, he had turned to leave. She didn't know what possessed her to call him.

"Zuko… do… if you don't mind, will you please stay till I fall asleep?"

She was not surprised when he complied, sitting at the head of the bed, patting her head like he was putting a scared child to sleep. It had worked and she fell asleep in a matter of minutes. Sometime in the middle of the night, she had woken up to find him still there, leaning against the headboard, hand on her head, feet straightened in front of him. The sight had only served to reinforce why she had fallen for this man. When Zuko cared for someone, he did it completely. There were no half-measures with him. How he could give all of himself to every relationship in his life, Katara could never understand. She had meant to wake him up, but, in a moment of utter Zuko-ness, he had lurched awake when she had but just stirred. He had then insisted that he was fine, and she was the one who had to sleep. That had resulted in a brief argument before Katara, with a little annoyance, told him to just lie down so both could catch some sleep. He had still been awake, though mercifully lying in bed when Katara had fallen asleep.

Katara rolled over to her side and was instantly greeted with a whiff of his smell – smoke and cinnamon. She was just wondering what it was that had woken her when she heard it. The sound of intense Fire Bending. She got off the bed, grabbed the overcoat, and walked to the window overlooking the courtyard. Below her, Zuko was Fire Bending. But he was not alone. Mizu was with him.

Initially, Katara thought they were sparring but it quickly became apparent to her that the latter was struggling to keep up with the Fire Lord. Zuko was bending with a ferocity she had never seen before. As Katara watched, Zuko dropped down in a crouch and drew his leg in an arc on the ground, the resultant blast of flames destabilizing Mizu's stance. Once the Imperial Fire Bender had been thrown off his stance, Zuko further pressed his advantage, sending burst after burst of flames from his feet, not allowing Mizu to regain his footing. He only stopped when the man had fallen on the ground. To Katara's surprise, Zuko did not offer his hand to Mizu to pull him up, instead continued to bend, shooting flames into thin air. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. Katara was about to rush downstairs when he forcefully lowered his burning fists to his sides, tilted his head up and roared, a gust of fire leaving his mouth. Behind him, Mizu looked both scared and concerned. Without thinking, Katara raced downstairs.

Ren was the first to meet her, bowing to greet her. "Milady."

"What's going on?"

The man cast a look over his shoulder, his brows knit into a frown. "We're not sure, milady. The Fire Lord has never bended like this. None of us is able to keep up."

"Hmm," Katara walked out in the courtyard and came to stand next to Mizu.

"Milady," he said bowing slightly. The two of them studied the angry Fire Lord punching an unseen opponent, unmindful of his onlookers.

"Leave. I'll handle this."

Mizu looked at her with evident concern on his face. "Milady."

"I've fought him many times," Katara said, summoning water from the well nearby. "I'll be okay. Leave."

The man bowed and obeyed. She gloved her arms with water and walked over to him. Zuko was no longer following any attack pattern. He was lost in his own world, throwing increasingly random and uncontrolled bursts of flame. Katara took a deep breath, walked next to him and laid her hand on his flaming fist. Water met fire, releasing steam with a hiss, extinguishing the flame.

Face contorted in rage, he whipped around to look at her. Seeing her, a plethora of emotions flitted on his face before he screamed, "What are you doing? I could've burned you!"

"I could heal it," Katara replied steadily. "What are you doing?"

Zuko huffed, sparks and fumes coming out of his mouth, "I'm angry."

"Yes, I see that. But is this a healthy way of taking it out?"

"What else can I do?" He replied through gritted teeth, snatching his hand from hers. "It's not like I can direct it at the one I am mad at. This rage is fucking impotent. This is all I can do."

At those words a small sob escaped her lips, "I can't watch you burn yourself like this because of me."

"Agni! Katara!" He extinguished the remaining flame in his hand and steadied himself. Taking a deep breath, he pulled her into a tight embrace. She was not surprised to find that she did not flinch. On the contrary, her arms went around him of their own accord.

"I'm sorry, Katara," he said, his breath tickling her ear. "I'm so, so sorry. You went through hell because of me."

Katara blinked, completely thrown off guard by this logic. She pulled back and looked at him incredulously, "What? How is any of it your fault?"

He stepped back and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ears. Then he pulled his hands back and scrubbed his face. "I've been thinking back to our interactions. I can't believe I never realized how a fourteen-year-old girl would interpret the things that happened? I was so wrapped up in everything I was feeling, in everything that I wanted to do, everything I was supposed to do, I didn't even pause to think the impact it might have had on someone else."

Katara crossed her arms, realizing that he was doing that thing where he found a way to blame himself for everything. It was something Zuko excelled at. But this time, she would not allow him to twist things to make it his fault. "So… I get a pass because I was fourteen and misread a boy's actions. But you don't because you were sixteen and being who you are?"

Zuko looked at her, torn between surprise and confusion. "What do you mean?"

She smiled and cupped his face in one hand, "Zuko, that's who you are. I throw you in the same situations again, ten out of ten times, you will behave the same way. It's not your fault. I have never blamed you for what happened to me. Neither will you. If anything, I must take my share of the blame. I should have stayed loyal to Aang and…"

"Stop," he growled, whirling around and grabbing her shoulders. Suddenly Katara realized just how much taller he was compared to her. "Don't do this. You were not cheating on him. So what if you fell in love with… with… me? And I'm not saying this because it was me. I'd have said the same thing if it was… I don't know… Haru."

"Haru?" Katara raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"His was the first name that popped up in my mind. That's beside the point. Point is, when Aang accepted you, he knew everything, right? Then why could he not support you?"

Katara sighed and moved his arms away. She hugged herself and looked up. Above her, a pair of birds circled, chirping happily. "He tried. He really did. But I couldn't love him the way he wanted me to."

"And that gives him the right to abuse you?" Zuko said, steam rising from his entire body. "Why couldn't he just see and understand the way you did love him and be okay with that? Why were you the one who was supposed to live up his expectations? Why couldn't he lower his expectations?"

"It's not that easy, Zuko," Katara whispered, her lower lip trembling.

"It really is that easy, Katara! Mai never loved me the way I wanted her to. I didn't punish her for it. I taught myself to find happiness in the way she did love me."

"Really? I always thought you were head over heels in love with each other."

Zuko shook his head, pacing around the courtyard, "I loved Mai. I still do. But… we were two very different people. You know me. As a teenager, I wore my heart on my sleeve. Even as an adult, I'm… expressive. Mai bottled up. To the people who didn't know her, she would appear cold and unfeeling. I had to work really hard to get her to even smile and that used to frustrate me. But then, I realized that she showed her love in a very different way. Subtly. Once I learned that, I was happy. It really is that simple."

Katara gave a humorless snort and walked over to the wall to lean against it, "You know when I was leaving the North Pole, Gran Gran told me something. With each passing day, her words ring truer."

"What did she say?"

"She told me, 'Zuko is not Aang. You will do well to remember that.' I think she told me that because she thinks I will compare you with him, and find you wanting. Because according to my family, Aang was perfect in every way. And I haven't done anything to disabuse them of that notion. But yes, Gran Gran does think I should not compare. But I do. I do compare the two of you. I can't help it. The difference between you both is stark."

"Well, we are two different people."

"Which is why you don't see why it was so difficult for Aang to accept everything."

"Maybe, but that doesn't justify the abuse," Zuko bit out, coming to stand in front of her.

"You wouldn't understand, Zuko," Katara began but he cut her off.

"On the contrary, Katara, I do understand. I spent years trying to justify what Ozai did to me. To live up to the image he had in mind for me. I was miserable. You wouldn't believe the lies I told myself in order to not face the truth – Ozai was a terrible human being. Period. It was not my fault that he burned me. In the same vein, it's not your fault that Aang was a piece of shit."

"Zuko!" Katara felt annoyance stir within her. "Despite everything he did to me, a part of me still loves him and I will not have you talk bullshit about him."

"No. No, Katara! This is not love," Zuko said vehemently, shaking his head. "This is the power of abuse. That's what abusers do. They make you think that you can't live without them. That it's somehow your fault for not being the perfect being. Aang was not in love with you, Katara. He was in love with the idea of you. Whenever you slipped a little from that ideal, he couldn't handle it."

Katara gaped at him, her heart thudding loudly in her ears. He was putting into words her deepest, darkest thoughts that she had not dared to tell even herself. Hearing her most private thoughts laid out in the open made her stumble. Instantly, he was by her side, holding her.

"What happened to you?" he sounded aghast, stabilizing her against himself.

"How do you know this?"

He led her to the edge of the flowerbed and made her sit down, before lowering himself next to her. "Do you need some water to drink?"

She shook her head. "Just answer my question."

"I noticed this, over and over again during the war."

"Really?"

"Yes. I saw the pattern," Zuko flicked a pebble with his big toe before continuing, "At Ba Sing Se, when he discovered us in the Crystal Catacombs, he was not very happy. At that point, I thought it was jealousy. Then, it happened again when we were going for Yon Rha. He was not happy that you were not forgiving him. He looked so disappointed in you. Do you remember what you told me when you explained blood bending to me?"

"That Aang wouldn't understand," Katara whispered.

"You said he would be very upset if he knew you'd used blood bending," Zuko said, undoing the string that held his hair in place. He ran a hand through it, mussing it. "I couldn't understand why he would be upset. For me, it was as simple as Fire Bending. A form of bending that has the potential to become dangerous but in the hands of a stable bender, an incredible form of bending. As I see it, no bending is inherently evil. It's the bender that makes it evil. In fact, I had once had a discussion with Aang about how Air Bending can be dangerous too. He was harping on and on about how Fire Bending was the cause of so much suffering, and how he was ashamed that he was a Fire Bender too. I snapped and told him that an Air Bender can suffocate someone to death if they want. He got all sanctimonious about it and… well, I'm digressing. What was I saying again? Ah, yes, the idea he had of you. The next time I saw it was during that ridiculous Ember Island Players play, 'a boy in the iceberg'? He got angry with you because your stage actor was saying some things that he didn't agree with. Ridiculous. What you told me it just shows that the pattern continued. He kept doing the same thing, but to increasingly disastrous outcomes."

He licked his lips and continued, "Bumi is born a non-bender? That must be because you slipped from the ideal. Not because it has happened before. Roku's daughter, my grandmother, was a non-bender. But he conveniently forgot or ignored that bit. Facts seldom mattered to him when he wanted to be obtuse. He just did. Ignoring what everyone said. He was just set on his ideas."

Katara frowned, keeping her eyes fixed on her feet. "How did you know it was Aang did something to me? Most people won't make that connection. What with Aang being an Air Nomad and harping on and on about peace?"

"I'll admit it wasn't my first thought," Zuko said, picking up a pebble from the flowerbed and examining it. "I originally thought something happened to you in the jail cell… They didn't do anything to you, did they?"

"They starved me, kept me from my children… typical prisoner things."

He nodded, relief showing on his face. "That's a relief."

"You were telling me how you realized Aang did something to me."

"Ah yes. I recognized the signs of abuse. Been there, done that, after all. But I thought it was Northern Water Tribe guys. It was Jee who made me realize I was wrong."

"Jee? How does he know?"

"He doesn't. He just said, Wounds we receive from the ones we love run the deepest. He was talking about Ozai, but it applied. That was when I began to suspect it. But then, I read something, and I was convinced."

"Read something?"

"Wait here, I'll be right back," he said and marched into the house. Katara blinked back the tears and looked up. Within a day, her life had changed, and she did not know how to deal with it. Zuko seemed to have understood that she was not averse to his touch and he was not holding back. She had no doubts in her mind that he cared for her. But to what extent, she did not know. What she did know, however, was that if they continued down this road, her old feelings were going to flare up. She had never really fallen out of love with him, simply buried her feelings. But Zuko, being who he was, was dredging up her feelings. Only this time, Katara did not want to fight it. He was her husband now. She was allowed to have these feelings, wasn't she? Could she, finally, give in to her heart for the first time in her life?

"Here," his voice startled her from her thoughts. He was standing next to her, holding out a couple of scrolls.

"What is this?" she said, taking them from him.

He resumed his place next to her and said, "It's the chronicles of Avatar Mayung."

"Who's that?"

"An Avatar from ages ago," he said. "Read it. Might help you."

Katara unfurled the scrolls and read through the two of them. Finishing the second scroll, she rolled it back and said, "Aang had trouble getting into the Avatar state in the last year of his life."

"I gathered as much," Zuko said. "According to the Fire Sages, if an Avatar strays from their righteous path, the spirits punish them. Honestly, my only solace is that fact. I just hope Aang got his due punishment."

Katara grabbed the scrolls and lay them against her chest. Seeing the scrolls had been, for the lack of a better word, like a prayer had been answered. "Thank you, Zuko. This helps."

He nodded. Then all of a sudden, he said, "Have you ever tried a sizzler?"

"What? What is a sizzler?"

"Come, I'll treat you to some good food. I'm hungry."

Before Katara could understand what was happening, he held out a hand and said, "Let's go."


Sitting in the shack, Zuko found that he could not take his eyes off her. She was dressed in the outfit he had selected for her. A simple red, short-sleeved blouse that tied at the front, leaving her midriff exposed. Paired with it was a red and blue sarong. The sarong was the reason he had chosen the outfit, to begin with. The color scheme was very indicative of her – the best Waterbender who was now the Fire Lady. She had tied her hair in a ponytail, pairing the outfit with simple gold hoop earrings. His betrothal necklace sat at the base of her neck, her mother's necklace on her arm, and his mother's bracelet on the wrist. She looked beautiful.

Since she was busy studying the menu, Zuko leaned back on the chair and took his time studying her. He had been under the impression that he was prepared to hear her out. He had figured out that Aang had hurt her, after all. But, actually hearing everything that he had done had been akin to being hit by lightning, again. Only this time, he did not have any scars to show for it. What he was left with instead was this desire to burn. The rage he had experienced earlier that day had felt like the Sozin's Comet had been ripping through him. Zuko was not unfamiliar with pain, but the agony he felt within him now felt, unlike anything he had felt before. It was only the thought of Katara's safety that had calmed him down.

When Ozai had burned and exiled him, the wounds in his psyche had run deep, tattering him. It had taken him years to recover from it. Shame, betrayal, homesickness, the feeling of being unjustly punished, anger – he buffeted between those emotions. But at Katara's words, regret, guilt, and anger rose in him. Regret that he had not been there for her when she needed him the most. Guilt that it had all been because of him, regardless of what Katara said, he had to take some of the blame for everything that had happened. But, he was also feeling, for the lack of a better word, jubilant.

His Uncle used to say that there was no joy like being loved by someone selflessly. No treasure more precious, no person more beautiful. Till yesterday, he had merely thought he understood what Uncle had meant. But yesterday, when Katara had confessed her feelings, Zuko realized that he had been mistaken. There was nothing in this world that compared to the rush of feelings that were coursing through him. She had loved him, without asking anything in return. She had gone through hell, all because she had loved him. How could he ever make up for that? To try and describe what it felt like was akin to attempting to hold a rainbow in a box. This gift that she had given him, it was more precious than all the jewels in his coffers. She truly was the most beautiful person he knew.

"Zuko," she said, cocking her to the side. "You're staring."

He blinked, "Oh? Sorry, didn't mean to."

"What are you thinking?"

"You're beautiful," his brain caught up with his mouth and he realized what he had just blurted out. Brilliant, Zuko. Foot straight in the mouth. Good job!

"Errr…thanks?" she made it sound more like a question. Her cheeks had a gentle flush, making his heart hop like a rabiroo.

Oh Agni! This woman will be the death of me.

"Ready to place your orders, Sir?"

Pulling his hood closer, Zuko used his heavier voice to place his order. Katara cleared her throat and placed her own. The waiter bowed and left. He leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table. In his mind, he could hear his uptight Councilmen and Councilwomen gasp in collective horror at this complete lack of decorum. Ignoring that mental voice, he said, "How are you feeling, Katara?"

She shrugged, "I feel… like a big weight is off my chest. It's all gone. To use Ty Lee's words… poof."

He raised his brow and chuckled, "Poof?"

Katara laughed a little and said, "I can't explain. I have been carrying this inside for what feels like forever. But now that I've told you everything, I'm… I feel on top of this world."

He reached over and grabbed her hand, resisting the urge to peck it. "I'm glad you feel better. Not to rain on your parade, though, but I want to warn you about something. Just because it's a good day today, doesn't mean that the anxiety and panic won't return."

"I know. The road to healing will be long."

"You have already taken the first step towards healing. The first step is usually the toughest. I must say though, what you did yesterday, that was so brave. But then, you were always were brave."

Their moment was broken by the waiter bringing in the food. "Careful, the plate is very hot," the waiter cautioned as he put the food in front of them. Katara's jaw dropped at the sight. Sizzlers were a Fire Nation specialty. An iron skillet, heated with Fire Bending, was placed on a wooden tray. Strips of meat, vegetables, and a sweet, sour, tangy, and spicy sauce flavored the dish. A dollop of cold butter would be dropped on the side, making it sizzle. Which is what earned the dish its name, sizzler.

"Would you like anything to drink, mam?"

"Coconut water," Katara said.

"Sir?"

"Same."

Once the waiter left, Katara picked a fork, took a bite and sighed. "Oh my! This is wonderful."

"I knew you'd like it," Zuko said, feeling a surge of pleasure.

Katara took a couple of bites before saying, "Brave, yes. I have always been brave. Sometimes, bordering on the stupid. Wouldn't you agree?"

He chortled, "It would be pretty hypocritical of me to call anyone stupid. I have made some really stupid ones in my life. Remember me trying to drag Aang through a blizzard in the North Pole?"

Katara laughed, "Oh yes. What were you thinking?"

"I was…"

"Your coconut waters," a new voice cut their conversation as a different waiter lowered the glasses in front of them. "Enjoy your dr… Katara?"

Huh? Zuko looked up and a sickeningly familiar face was looking at her.

"Jet?" Katara gaped. "You're alive?"

"Yeah. I was hurt, but I lived."

How the heck does Katara know this jerk? Zuko wondered, feeling a tad annoyed at the interruption.

Jet, being the overconfident asshole that he was, pulled a chair and plonked himself down.

"Fancy seeing you here after so long!" He said, completely ignoring Zuko. "I looked all over Ba Sing Se for you, you know?"

What?

Both Katara and Jet turned to look at him, which made him realize that he had spoken aloud.

"And who are you?"

"Jet, this is –" Katara began but Zuko pushed his hood down to reveal his face. Jet looked like he was about to pass out.

"Lee?"

"You know each other?" Katara said, sounding surprised.

"We've met," Zuko said, his eyes fixed on the other man.

Jet looked from one to the other, trying to understand, "How do you both know each other?"

"We're married," Zuko answered.

If it was possible, Jet looked even more annoyed. "What a small world! The only girl I ever really liked is married to one guy I can't stand."

Katara, for her part, looked mortified. A smidgen of the anger he had been feeling earlier bubbled within him and Zuko wondered if he could punch a fire fist on Jet's smug face.

"What has…Lee… done to you that you hate him so much?" Katara asked, "He was just a tea vendor in Ba Sing Se."

Jet scowled at Zuko, "He's Fire Nation," he replied, as though that settled everything.

"Look around, idiot," Zuko growled, yanking his hood up as the realization of where he was sunk in, "You're in Fire Nation."

Ignoring the jibe, Jet grinned at Katara, "I must say, though, Kat, you have a type."

"Excuse me?" Both Katara and Zuko chorused.

"Kat?" Zuko said.

Katara said, "Type?"

"What? You can't deny that Lee and I are very similar."

"No," both said together, again.

Zuko looked at Katara, not bothering to hide his irritation, "Was he your boyfriend or something?"

"NO!" Katara said, forcefully.

"We did have some good time in the treehouse, though," Jet said suggestively.

"Don't make it sound so sleazy, Jet," Katara snapped, looking thoroughly disgusted. "It was just one kiss. Ages ago. Z… Lee, let's just go, shall we?"

Without a word, Zuko dumped more than enough money to cover the meal and got up to leave when Jet said, "How the heck does a stupid street rat like you end up with this kind of money?"

Zuko turned his head a little and said, "I was born rich."

Keeping his eyes pointedly fixed on Jet, he wrapped his arm around Katara's waist to lead her out. The other man, realizing his unspoken message seemed to take it as a challenge and said, "See you around, Kat."

Behind him, a torch burned brighter.