He turned the lights off before rolling the car as quietly as he could into the grass next to the gravel drive. Lights from the cottage illuminated the path for him and it took little work to park the car next to the simple sedan already taking up space. Space that helped hide him as he eased from the car and stalked toward the house, using the shadows as much as possible to avoid being seen.
It was not until his knuckles rapped against the door he allowed himself to breathe easily. Another moment passed before the door opened and he waved at the woman standing there. "Hello Anna."
"John!"
She threw her arms around him and John almost tripped over the doorway to follow her into the house. They recovered and adjusted so he could hold Anna as well, cuddling her close. It took them more than a few minutes to separate and, when they did, they did not stop holding one another's hands.
Anna's fingers traced over his and stopped to interlace them before facing him. "I was praying you'd come back."
"I promised I would." John brought her hands to his mouth and kissed them. "I'd never leave you forever."
"After…" Anna shuddered a moment, stepping closer to place herself in John's arms again. "After what you did I was convinced you could never come back."
"Everyone had to be convinced of it." John led Anna to the sofa. "I'm sorry it had to be like that. That I had to have Mary tell you what happened and-"
"And then spend three months in hiding." Anna dragged herself closer to him, tucking under his arm so his hand rested on her abdomen. "That was a little ridiculous… If I'm being honest."
"I completely agree. Ridiculous is the perfect word for it."
"Then why do it?"
"It was Robert's idea." John shook his head, "He's always had a flair for the dramatic. Wanted it to feel real since it'd be his last operation."
"And you paid the price for it."
"No," John shook his head, holding Anna closer. "We did, unfortunately."
"I like the way you say 'flair for the dramatic' as if he didn't just make this a movie with its level of drama." Anna laid her head on John's shoulder. "I thought it'd be interminable when Mary insisted she wouldn't give you any messages."
"Never one to be the messenger."
"She thinks it's annoying." Anna sighed, "She told me she gave you some all the same. Wouldn't tell me what they said."
"Nothing too detailed or insanely complimentary.," John dug into his pocket to retrieve his phone and scrolled through the messages to show Anna. "Most just talked about various fruit sizes I can only guess were in reference to the steady growth of our child."
"Sounds just like her." Anna ran John's hand over her abdomen. "It's bigger than an avocado now. It's got toes and fingers and even an elongated head that gives it a bit of an alien look."
"What?"
Anna leaned over from the sofa and snatched a picture frame, handing it to John. "I've had a few framed. Every few weeks when they do the checks I had them give me a picture so I could show you."
John's fingers dragged slowly over the black and white image of their child. "It's so beautiful."
"Yes, he is." John blinked at Anna and she nodded, smiling at him. "It's a boy."
"You checked?"
"The doctor told me before I could say that I didn't want to know without you." Anna interlaced their fingers to stroke them over her abdomen again. "But I've been thinking of names, to pass the time, and I ran into some trouble."
"How'd you mean?"
"I couldn't stop thinking of your name." Anna moved out of John's arms to put both of his hands on her abdomen. "I want to name him after you."
John swallowed hard, nodding as he blinked to try and clear his eyes. "You're naming him after me?"
"I was hoping we'd name him after you." Anna leaned forward, taking one of her hands to put alongside John's jaw. "And that maybe I can help you get a shave."
"I come back here after three months and the first thing you want to do is shave off the beard I worked so hard to grow?"
"I already did the first thing." Anna pointed to the sofa. "I got to hold you close. And then I did the second thing, which was tell you about Johnny Junior."
"No," John shook his head. "If we're naming him after me then he's either John Junior or JJ or Johnny. I'm not calling him Johnny Junior. Sounds like a bad children's book."
"Fine. But the point still stands." Anna held up her fingers. "And third, I want to sleep next to my husband, with whom I've spent more time apart then I have with him. That's going to stop now."
"I'm a newly unemployed man who received my severance check last week." John shifted to get closer to Anna. "I'm all yours for however long you want me."
"Forever." Anna tugged at his hands, getting them both to stand. "For good and proper. For always."
"Then that's exactly what I'll be." John paused, holding Anna's hand hard enough to prevent her leading them up the stairs. "But I might make some changes while I'm here."
"What? You don't like how I redecorated in your absence?"
"I think whatever you decided to do to our home in my absence if fine." John closed the distance between them. "I just don't want to keep all the security. It's useless now that I'm officially dead and Green's in prison."
"May he rot there and then burn in Hell." Anna put her hand to John's chest, over his heart. "Robert's flair for the dramatic aside, I still can't believe you actually had one of his men shoot you."
"Samson was actually an impressive shot and, with a little help from some trust falling courses a lifetime ago, I learned how to tumble and fall with grace." John forced a pose. "I trained for theater you know. I can fake a death as well as the rest of them and this was no different."
"Still can't believe Robert had a man on the inside the whole time."
"Samson was a turned agent. It's always trickier to do when it's someone you've only got because you've got something on them. The temptation for them to turn on you is higher but they're more dependable than a plant." John shrugged, "You've got to weigh your options very carefully in that business."
"I like how you said 'that' instead of 'this'."
"Do you?"
"Yes." Anna nodded, "It means you've already put it behind you. The past tense, in this case, is very comforting."
"I'll do anything and all things I can in this world to comfort you." John flexed his jaw a moment. "Speaking of… How flexible are you these days?"
"Why, planning on trying out pregnant yoga with me?"
"I didn't say I was flexible." John nodded toward the cane he left propped by the door. "I was asking how flexible you are."
"Well I can't do a cartwheel or anything but…" Anna trailed off, her eyes narrowing before a smile took over her face. "I do hope you're about to make a very salacious suggestion."
"I haven't seen you in three months." John's fingers ran along the edge of Anna's trousers, taking in the slight elastic give to them before using their pull to tug her close enough to him that their chests touched. "And while you've got your three things in mind, I also had a lot of time to think."
"I thought you were playing dead."
"I was but you wouldn't believe all the time they give you to just stare at the wall and watch paint dry." John's fingers trailed under Anna's shirt, tracing the pimpling of her skin as he continued over her abdomen. "So I thought about what I would paint there… If I had any skill at all in the area and if I had the tools to paint."
"You're not an artist?"
"I believed that Mr. Rogers said it was alright if I wasn't Bob Ross." John dipped his head down to kiss along Anna's neck. "But my imagination painted plenty of pictures that, perhaps for the sake of posterity, are better left unpublished."
"Do tell then. It means you're giving me an exclusive."
"It begins with getting you undressed, as romantically as possible."
"Not sure how you'll manage around almost six-month gone me."
"As romantically as possible, like I said." John paused at Anna's breastbone before trekking kisses up the other side of her throat. "I'll just have to move slower than I might've planned."
"Like won't get us up the stairs slow or manage the stairs slow?" John pulled back to see Anna's face. "Because I don't know if I'm up for our first time back together being on this sofa, no matter how cozy it is."
"Does the lady offer a better option?"
"There's a very comfortable bed upstairs that we've used on multiple occasions that'll be the perfect option for this." Anna's hands trailed up John's arms to interlace behind his neck, guiding their foreheads together as they breathed in sync for a moment. "Our little place away from everything and everyone."
"Then I guess you'll have to lead me there." John maneuvered to kiss Anna, holding it for as long as the breath in his lungs remained. "If you want."
"I've got twice as much blood running through my system right now."
"Is that an answer or-"
"It means I definitely do want because you're not the only one who painted pictures to themselves in the dark of the night." Anna grinned at him, running her tongue over her bottom lip. "Don't think you've got the monopoly on mind games when you got bored."
"Never." John followed Anna as she led him up the stairs to the Master Bedroom. "I am curious, exactly how could you afford that kind of distraction when you're up here writing a big paper in isolation?"
"A woman has her ways." Anna's fingers pulled the buttons apart on John's shirt as they almost slow danced down the corridor. "We're multitaskers you know. We can think of multiple things at once."
"That's the lie every woman tells herself."
"But it's a good lie." Anna stopped just short of the door. "How sturdy are your legs after your little stint being pretend dead?"
"How'd you mean?"
"You asked if I was flexible and now I'm asking if you're sturdy."
"I can hold myself upright."
Anna swept her arm toward the room. "Would the gentleman care to carry his wife over the threshold?"
"I'll do my best." John rolled his shoulders. "It'll be short because if I go more than a few feet we'll both end up on our asses and that's not as dignified as I'd like when I'm trying to seduce you."
"You didn't want to go for the awkwardly clumsy, boy-next-door vibe?"
"No." John bent, catching Anna under the legs and supporting her back for the three steps it required to get over the threshold and into the room before putting her back on her feet. "I'm the injured-and-struggling-to-be-romantic type."
"You're not struggling at all." Anna put a hand through his hair before framing along his jaw. "You remember the last time we did this?"
"I put you in a car the next morning." John turned just enough to kiss Anna's palm. "That won't happen again."
"I should hope not." Anna gave him a smile and used her other hand to guide his lips to hers again.
With John's shirt half unbuttoned and most of Anna's clothing made for comfort over corporate, it was almost ridiculously easy to leave it on the floor. But as Anna sat on the edge of the bed, maternity lingerie giving her reason to squirm slightly, John's leg quivered and he put his hand to the bed to stop himself collapsing sideways. Anna shifted quickly, whatever moment of self-doubt she had about her knickers forgotten as she tugged John to sit on the bed with her.
"Must've been the threshold. Or the stairs. Or just age."
"If you want-"
"No." John put a hand on Anna's leg. "It'll calm down in a moment and we'll just get back to where we started."
"And if…" Anna's voice trailed off, the immediacy of the problem evaporating to leave her arms crossing slightly over her chest to cover her bra. "If you don't-"
"Anna," John's other hand crossed over his body to touch her cheek, shifting him toward her and forcing them both to adjust on the bed. "I want this."
"You do?"
"As much as you I hope."
"But I'm not…" She would not meet his eyes or even look toward him. "I'm not like I used to be."
"You think I married you because I thought your body wasn't going to change and I'd have a version of Venus forever?" John let his hand firm along her jaw, his thumb applying just the right amount of pressure on her chin to keep her focused on him. "I wanted all the versions of Aphrodite I'd get. All the beauties and wonders of the woman in her entirety, not just in the moment when she's at her peak."
"Really?"
"Really." John nodded toward his leg. "You took me, scars and all. Why wouldn't I take you the same way?"
"I just…" Anna gestured with her hand to the room around her. "I've been here, alone, for so long that I forgot a little what it was like to be here with you. And then, when you sat on this bed I remembered and I… I was different then."
"We both were." John's hand moved from Anna's cheek to the protrusion of her abdomen. "And I wouldn't change the 'us' of now for then."
"No?"
"No." John moved back on the bed, putting his back to the headboard and tugging Anna gently along with him as he slipped her free of her knickers and kicked his offending boxers away. "Because back then I didn't have the chance to use my leg as an excuse to have you do all the work."
"Really?"
"Really." John grinned at Anna, tipping forward just enough to nip at her neck. "Because, as an invalid, I can't possibly be made to do hard labor."
"Says the man who won't be in labor in three months."
"That's why women have children." John put his hands on Anna's hips, running his thumbs over the bones there before touching near her nerves. "Men would never have the strength for it."
"I'm going to guess you were never one for equality between the sexes."
"Absolutely not." John shook his head until Anna's hands on his cheeks stopped the motion. "Then men'd be unmanageable."
"Too true." Anna leaned forward, using her grip on John's cheeks to hold him hostage in a kiss. "But I don't think I should do all the work."
"No?" One of John's hands moved between Anna's legs as he shifted so she could sit between them. "And why's that?"
"Because it's more fun if both parties participate equally."
"I very much agree." John's fingers ran along her folds, easing between them as he maneuvered his thumb over her clit. "And I do hope that I perform at the required standards."
"I've no doubts about that." Anna shifted her hips, grinding down on John's hand before gasping out as his other hand moved to her ass to urge her closer. "You've never disappointed me before."
"But you've been imaging without me here." John's fingers finally entered Anna and he watched her eyes roll back as her fingers dug divots into his shoulders. "I'd hate to think I don't live up to those standards."
"You're real." Anna forced her eyes open. "They're not. Never were."
John met her lips in the desperate kiss Anna initiated as John's fingers pressed deeper. The pressure he applied had Anna twisting and grinding against him so much she barely noticed the work of his other fingers at the clasp of her bra. It tumbled down her arms, pausing Anna's motions just long enough for her to fling it away. But it gave John the moment he needed to break their kiss and lavish at her breasts until Anna moaned so deeply John could feel it through the fingers trapped by the cling of her vaginal walls.
His kisses to her breasts continued, providing him two points of applied sensation to leave Anna almost incoherent above him, and when she shattered he simply continued. Continued sucking at her skin and finding the tenderest spots on her overly sensitive folds until Anna shrieked a second climax into his skin. Only then did John slowly draw his kisses back to Anna's cheeks and drag his fingers from her, leaving a damp trail over her skin.
Her breath blew hot on his neck as John looked at the mark there. It triggered him to pull his fingers into his mouth and suck the taste of her from them, reminding himself of the tang as it exploded over his tongue. A tongue Anna sucked hard on when she seized his face for a kiss John lost all air trying to maintain.
As they separated, John almost tensed for the moment Anna ravaged him. But instead of a near-violent attack on him, that John would have no problem encouraging or aiding as much as he could, Anna's grip on his shoulders loosened. Her legs slid over his so her knees bushed the underside of his ribcage and pressed her soaked sex against his. Neither of them breathed as Anna altered her grip enough to slide herself up and down John's hardening erection.
And at the moment it was too much for him to bear, Anna leaned forward, rising up just enough to give him hope, and put her lips to his ear. "Are you ready now John? Because I am?"
All John could do was kiss her. Kiss her and help with the angles and adjustments needed to account for the occasional quiver in his leg or the growing child between them. Changes to positioning aside, little giggles and laughs punctuating their efforts, the moment they joined the world quieted.
No more aggressive teasing or hungry taunting. Their eyes met as they held a static position for as long as they could stand it. Their foreheads met again and, as they synchronized their breathing, they moved. Slowly and surely, the occasional adjustment aiding their efforts until John could stand it no longer. He tipped his head to kiss her and Anna followed the lead.
But they did not change pace. Even when John's hand slid between them to try and encourage Anna to another climax. Even when her nails dragged over his shoulder to hold punishingly at his bicep when she whimpered out her third finish. And even when John's own strangled cry faded into the corners of the room.
They lay together afterward, smelling of the flowery soap Anna used in the shower, and held fast to one another. As if they were afraid something else would pull them apart. As if terrified of waking up and finding their moment of pleasure was nothing but a dream.
For a short time it continued like that. They almost walked on eggshells around one another, like animals at the zoo trying to ascertain the terrain of their new territory. And it led to more than a few bruised feelings and frustrations. Arguments and aggression fed into apologies and forgiveness as they managed in the few months until the birth of their child what other couples took years to build.
And it was not built well, by any stretch of the imagination, but the work-in-progress they were willing to attempt was enough. Enough to move them forward day by day until they cuddled as easily as they kept to themselves when the moment required. But every night, without fail, John and Anna shared a bed and held hands until one of them fell asleep.
The birth of John Brendan Bates Junior gave John reasons to adore Anna all the more. And soothe her through the bouts of worry and depression that plagued her for the first few months. Through the difficulties of a baby she worried would never bond with her the way he did with John. Despite having her hair, Anna and Johnny struggled to attach to one another. Struggled so hard that John spent nights on end trying to rock a crying baby to sleep or hold his crying wife close.
In those darker days, Anna threw herself into her work. Work that almost exploded, despite her undetermined sabbatical from Cambridge, after the fame of the paper Green tried to steal. And when she and John testified at his trial, the esteem she cultivated in her field only grew. Grew until they decided the house in Glasgow was not what they needed any longer.
So, without further ado, they sold their house in Glasgow and found one in Cambridge. One that allowed John to spend the day in the house and garden with your toddling child as he took on side work Henry occasionally pushed his way. One that kept Anna close to the campus and her family so John could take her lunch and they managed the breaks in her schedule with family walks. One that gave them a new life as they merged into a whole unit.
It was against one of the walls in that very same house that John held Anna. The therapy sessions in London and a surgery gave strength back to his leg and allowed John to maintain his stance as his hands gripped Anna's thighs to keep her around his waist. She kissed him back just as eagerly but they both paused for a second when they thought they heard a noise from Johnny's room.
When it quieted again, John let his hands slide off Anna's legs and lowered her to the floor. "I got a little carried away."
"I'll never complain about that."
"It's just…" John pressed Anna to the wall again, kissing her feverishly before drawing back to breathe. "This is fantastic news."
"I can't tell if you're more excited about us having a second child or about my research finally getting approval."
"Both?" John's fingers impatiently opened Anna's trousers and tugged them apart. "I can be excited about both, can't I?"
"Of course you can but- John!" Anna half-shrieked but stopped herself making too much noise as John got down on his knees to yank her trousers to the floor, her knickers following shortly, and positioned himself to get one of her legs over his shoulder so his mouth could set to work immediately. "What's…"
John did not answer and Anna never finished her question so he continued to trace kisses over her nerves. His tongue and fingers helped his efforts until Anna's nails dragged through his hair before planting at the back of his skull. But all it did was guide his actions so his efforts reached where she wanted them. Found the places she wanted him to find until Anna's knee instinctively bent over his shoulder to tighten the muscles there at the same time her vaginal ones clenched around his fingers. Clung to them despite John's attempts to crook, or press deeper, or answer the suck of his lips at her clit.
Anna's body quivered with the energy from her climax and her grip on the back of John's head dragged him upright enough for her to kiss him. To thoroughly ravish his mouth as he lifted her against the wall again, leaving their clothes in an undignified heap just steps from the door. To hide her moans in his mouth when John thrust into her. To keep their sounds down as John used the wall to keep his drives hard and deep until the snap of their hips together offered a melody for the punishing pace. A pace John followed for Anna's second finish so he could thrust desperately for his own.
As they breathed together, slipping a little against the wall, John kissed behind Anna's ear and tried to speak. "The baby."
"What?" The haze in Anna's eyes had yet to fully clear and she blinked to try and focus on John. "What about the baby?"
"That's what I'm excited about most but I didn't want you to think I wasn't excited about your paper too."
"I'd be fine if you celebrate the baby with me this way." Anna dragged her hand down John's chest. "And then we celebrate my paper with dinner or something… Professional."
"How about," John held Anna fully to the floor and used his shirt to try and clean over both of them. "We go to London."
"To celebrate?"
"Yes, like that first date we had there."
"I don't really love London."
"Then we'll go-"
Anna put her hand over John's mouth, "But I'd love to do that. It'd be like us taking our relationship back to where it started. The ouroboros of it all."
"More like a never ending spiral."
"Down?"
"No." John shook his head, "Up. Always upward with you."
"You're wonderful." Anna kissed John, "And I'd go anywhere with you to celebrate. Just being with you is happiness enough for me."
"Me too." John gathered their things, leading Anna to their room. "However, wherever, whenever."
