Unleashed

"And she had big hair, like an exploded sofa." Rachel's whole body jiggled with amusement. She was going off to class every day and brought home the most amusing stories to share over the dinner table. "And then her clothes. Well I know I'm a bit overweight Marilla, but at least I dress appropriately. This woman's top was too short and her pants too low. She spent all day pulling her top down and her pants up, and we still saw far too much of her belly button."

Marilla laughed at Rachel's grimace, "oh dear."

"Yes, so I spent the day watching her more than I listened, which was unfortunate."


After the excitement of their vacation it was lovely to return home to Green Gables. On their last night on Lesbos they had bade farewell to their new friends and promised to write and to catch up again next year.

The journey home was uneventful but over a glass of wine at Toronto airport Marilla had some advice for Rachel, "I think perhaps you had better tell Lucy the truth," she said.

Rachel looked at her sideways, "about Matthew?"

"Mm hm," Marilla nodded. "I think she has a right to know. Take her out to dinner one night and lay it all on the line. She may have had an inkling already, who knows?"

Sitting opposite Lucy in a booth at a local restaurant Rachel's mouth went dry and she had to gulp down her glass of water first. "Darling," started Rachel her hands clasped on the table. "I need to tell you something."

Lucy paused her mouth stretched over her burger, "mmm?"

"Yes, um that is to say." All Rachel's rehearsals over this moment came to naught and she paused collecting her thoughts. She nodded at Lucy telling her to take her bite and waited not wanting to make her choke. When she had swallowed it down, Rachel continued, "um, it's just that, um…"

"You're going to tell me that Daddy isn't my father aren't you."

Rachel just gaped at her then stammered out, "how, how did you know?"

"I always knew, I'm so different from the rest of them. It's not just that I'm the youngest, I just never really related to them at all. I used to creep up to Green Gables just for the peace and quiet. I doubt they knew I was there, it was so calm up there. I loved hearing Matthew talking to the cows or muttering to himself over some piece of work. I used to fantasise that he was my father instead of Daddy."

"But you didn't know for sure?"

"No, but it doesn't surprise me in the slightest."

"You're not upset, I mean I was unfaithful to your, to him."

Lucy laughed, "unfaithful? To that jerk. No, I wish you'd done it sooner, Mum. Then perhaps I would have had some company growing up. I think they sensed I was different and I certainly didn't enjoy being the butt of their jokes."

"Oh, Lucy," Rachel reached out to clasp her hand as tears brimmed.

"You had enough on your hands at the time I can hardly blame you. But as childhoods go it wasn't the best."

Rachel felt guilty, but on reflection Lucy was right, at the time she was just hanging on by her fingernails. It was easy to forget now in such a loving household how truly awful living with Thomas had been. Lucy picked up a French fry and munched on it before saying, "in a way you're living my best dream up there at Green Gables. How are Matthew and Marilla anyway?"

"They're fine. Marilla and I are very happy, and Matthew is a dear."

"How's the sex?"

"Lucy!" Lucy grinned at her mother who relaxed as she thought about it, "actually it's wonderful. I never really knew it could be so nice."

"Nice!" snorted Lucy. "That's not a very passionate word for it. Nice," she scoffed.

"Oh well would you rather I said it was orgasmic?" her mother grinned back.

"Oh, uh, er no, nice is fine," said Lucy embarrassed all of a sudden.

Rachel laughed at her wickedly, "good to see this old girl can still shock her daughter."

She paid the bill and asked Lucy if she wanted to come up to Green Gables, there was a spare bed after all.

"If I do will you keep the sex to a minimum please. I don't need to hear you two at it all night."

"We hardly made a sound, I assure you." It was true, Thomas was a noisy lover grunting and screeching on top of her which meant Rachel preferred to do it quietly so as to avoid any reminders of him. Still she assumed correctly that Lucy wouldn't believe her.

"I brought a friend and er, daughter with me," Rachel announced as they walked in the door. Marilla looked up smiling, but it was Matthew who got to his feet and shuffled nervously. Lucy broke the ice by enveloping him in a warm hug, "can I call you Dad now?" she whispered in his ear. Matthew broke into possibly the warmest smile he had ever made and hugged her back. He had wondered as she grew if she was his and now to have it out in the open; to be acknowledged openly as her father, well it warmed him right down to his toes. Anne was his darling, but Lucy was his biological daughter. She would never supplant Anne, but well she was his.

"Champagne!" Marilla announced as she walked back in with a tray and four glasses. "I definitely think this is a cause for celebration." They clinked glasses and all smiled together happy that the secret was out at last, at least between the four of them. Matthew laughed when some bubbles went up his nose making him sneeze.

"You know," Marilla said reflectively. "You two could go on a trip together. I feel a bit guilty that Rachel and I went away and left you Matthew. How would it be if the two of you took a vacation? It might be nice, a chance to connect properly."


"Have you heard the latest?" Two of Rachel's sons, Keith and Bruce were chatting at the pub over a glass or two.

"What's that?"

"She's only gone and enrolled in a class."

"Who?"

"Ma."

"No!"

"Yeah as if she thinks she'd ever be clever enough."

"What's she even studying then, needlecraft?"

"Counselling I believe, I expect she'll drop out as soon as it gets too hard."

Bruce sniggered, "I always thought of her as a brood mare, always pregnant."

"Dad was a bit of a stud," Keith threw his chest out. "But Ma…"

"Exactly, but now she's getting a bit stuck up, arrogant. I blame that bitch she's living with. Marilla Cuthbert always did have airs on herself. She'll be leading Ma astray."

"Did you hear they've been away?"

"Yeah, Greece wasn't it? What a waste of money. That's our inheritance she's spending," Bruce complained.

"I still can't believe that bloody lawyer gave Dad's inheritance to her. What was he thinking? By rights that's our money."

"Still," Bruce thought. "I'm glad she's not living with us. We haven't got the room."

"Room for her lardarse," Keith guffawed. "Yeah, well who does? Another?"

Bruce looked at his watch, "yeah, may as well. "It's the kids' teatime, they're a complete pain in the arse around about now. I like 'em better when they're sleeping."

Keith brought the beers back and said conspiratorially in a lower voice, "I've been seeing someone."

"Oh?" Bruce's eyebrows rose.

"Yeah, my secretary. She's a cute little thing." Keith described her curves with his two hands. "And she's a little firecracker in the sack. I've been putting in a lot of overtime lately," he added with a wink.

"And what about ...?"

"Oh, she's oblivious stupid bitch. She's so busy with the kids, she'd welcome it anyway. We haven't done it for months. 'I have a headache, it's my time of the month,'" Keith mimicked her higher voice. "It's hardly my fault, a man has needs after all."

"So what's her name?"

"Stella. She's European, very exotic. Has some intriguing moves. Her English ain't that great, but I didn't hire her for that. She has the most magnificent tits, I got hard the moment she walked into her interview."

"You've got a boner just thinking about her," Bruce said admiringly looking down at his brother.

Keith glanced down, "oh yeah," he snorted. "You could have a go if you liked. I'm happy to share, after all what are brothers for?"

"Another?" Bruce asked.

"Nah better not, don't wanta be caught by the cops," Keith tapped the side of his nose clumsily. "Anyway, come around later this week if you want a go. Stella'll be up for it."

"You don't think she'll mind?"

"Nah, she does what she's told. She's good like that, unlike some I can think of."

"Sometimes I think of Dad's advice, I just give her a little tickle; nothing much, just to keep her in line ya know," Bruce said.

"Yeah, they need that I reckon. Dad knew what he was about, I mean we turned out okay."

"Speaking of which," Keith added after a beat. "It's Dad's anniversary next month. Two years, can you believe it?"

"Poor bastard. If I ever find the shit who did that to him…" Bruce said aggressively.

"I mean it's Avon-f'ing-lea, it's hardly Toronto."

"Exactly." They swigged the last of their beers and left their cigarette butts in the dregs.

Keith couldn't remember when he lost respect for his mother. He had loved her when he was little of course. She was his world, always there with a hug or a treat. She was pregnant with his younger sister when he was just a toddler and exhausted all the time, but she always had time for him. When he was about ten or eleven his attitude changed. He was proud of his father, admiring the way he carried himself and started modelling himself on his bearing and that meant rejecting his mother. He never really noticed the way his father mocked his mother until he grew older and to gain his father's approval started to copy his behaviour.

One night after dinner Thomas came to Keith's room to congratulate him on his latest school results. Rachel had a black eye that night and had stumbled around the dinner table spilling his soup, Thomas had lost his temper. "I'm sorry about your mother," he explained. "She can be a little highly strung at times. Don't mind her. It's the man's job to keep his wife in line. You might need to do it yourself one day, it's how a strong man behaves. They act hysterical, but really they like it when a man rules the house. You ask your mother, she needs me to take the lead."

Keith had taken his fathers words to heart and followed his advice from then on noticing as if for the first time how useless his mother was. He believed she was infantile needing Thomas to show her the way even if it took a little persuading. She became the butt of the family jokes as they all belittled her.

When it came time for him to marry he emulated his father's methods. He chose a wide hipped, rather simple minded woman unconsciously. Not because he wanted it that way necessarily but because clever women intimidated him. The first time she angered him and he sunk his fist into her stomach it excited him and he had sex enthusiastically that night.


Not all Rachel's stories were humorous of course, sometimes it was very upsetting. One afternoon she came home crying and sat on the sofa looking out into the middle distance blankly. Marilla brought her a glass of wine and a cigarette to calm her. "What is it?"

"We looked into intergenerational violence today. How it affects the children even if it's kept hidden. They usually know and they think that's normal behaviour and often the boys go on to perpetrate it themselves. And it's surprising how often the girls marry their daddy as it were, and find themselves stuck like their mothers."

"How does that make you feel?"

"Sick to my stomach. I wouldn't be surprised if the boys were abusing their wives now. Juliet said her father was abusive and she's worried how she will cope if the same thing happens to her."

"Juliet?"

"Just a fellow student, we had lunch together."

"Rachel," said Marilla consolingly. "You can't blame yourself for how your children were influenced by him. He was the abuser, not you. You were just doing what you could to survive."

"But if I had left him I could have spared so much pain."

Marilla looked at her warmly, her eyes full of concern, "if you're finding it too difficult?"

"No, no I'm going to keep at it. It's going to be hard at times, I know. But..." she glanced across at Marilla.

"Of course, I'll always be here for you darling. Beside you every step of the way," Marilla walked over to sit beside her and hugged her close.

"If I have you, I can keep going but I don't deny it's challenging at times."

Marilla hugged her tightly and hoped that it would be alright.