Chapter Twenty
Their giggles could be heard from most of the rooms as they drunkenly made their way down the hall. "You wanna come in?" Jasper asked as he motioned toward his door.
Alice grinned. "Sure."
They walked in together and both fell onto the bed. They were silent for a minute before Alice asked soberly, "Jasper?"
"Yeah?"
"Tell me about your mom?"
He sighed. "You're killin' my buzz, sugar."
"I'm sorry, I just…you didn't tell me much and I just…" She bit her lip.
"S'alright." He blew out a breath and his story began. "Well, it was always just Mom and me, I never knew my dad. And in the beginning, she wasn't half bad. She drank a lot, brought home men, and that was all fine and good. Back when I was little, she'd ship me off to Emmett's for the night because she didn't want a whiney brat around, ya know?"
Alice nodded.
"So, I stayed with Em. A lot. His mom and my mom knew one another from high-school or something. Anyway, 'bout the time I turned eleven or so, I shot up, got a lot taller. I've always been skinny, but I got on the middle school basketball team and had been working out with Em some, so, I looked older than I was." His voice got softer as he said, "That was when she first noticed me…like that."
Alice had, during his narration, grasped his arm lightly, supportively. Now, she gripped it harder. "Jasper…"
He sighed. "That first time, I didn't know what was happening. She came in to my bedroom. I'd been listening to my cassette player. She was drunk – I could smell the liquor on her breath. 'Jazzy?' she said as she sat down on my bed. 'Do you think you could do Mommy a favor?'"
He made a disgusted face. "Sick, perverted bitch that she is. I didn't know what was going on. I mean, Em and I had snuck looks at Playboy magazines and shit, but sex was a pretty foreign concept. Back where we lived, sex ed wasn't being taught much, most people learned by trial and error, you know? But I did know that it felt good when she started stroking my cock…" he trailed off then.
"Jazz, you don't have to tell me any more…"
He shook his head. "No, Alice, I want you to know. No one else does. And for some reason, it just kinda feels right to tell ya."
"If you're sure," she said.
He nodded and continued; "She, uh, she showed me what to do that night. Everything. How to do it all. I had my first orgasm, came like I never could have imagined. Since I didn't know what I was doing, it was over relatively quick. I was kind of in awe that something could feel that good. Unfortunately, it didn't get her off, and I had to make up for it in other ways…" he shrugged. "Lucky for me, I got it back up quickly. I managed to figure out what to do with my mouth and my hands and was ready for another round in only about ten minutes. She was quite pleased. We went again and she showed me ways to hold out and where to touch when I'm doing my thing and stuff…it was educational to say the least."
"That's not something you should have had to learn from your mother," Alice said softly.
"I know. But at least it wasn't bad. It was almost…sweet, the way she looked after me. It was when she was drunk off her ass and brought her boyfriends into it that it wasn't…I mean, I knew it was abuse. Once, I said something just kinda testing the waters, to Emmett, and he told me that shit was sick, and that's when I figured out that it wasn't something normal people did." He shrugged again. "Whatever."
"What did she do when she brought her boyfriends over?" Alice asked on a whisper.
"I don't wanna talk about that shit, okay? I think I opened up enough to you tonight. Let's just say that I got first-hand knowledge of what happens if you drop the soap in prison, alright?"
Alice wanted to cry. In fact, she wasn't sure there weren't a few tears sliding down her face. She swallowed hard and said, "My dad abused me too."
He looked at her in surprise. She nodded. "Yeah, I was raped by him from the time I was ten until I ran away at thirteen. I lived on the streets for two years before I was found sleeping outside a dance studio in Miami. I made my way south because it was easier than going north to New York, where I had once dreamed of being in the ballet. Aro Volturi, the retired dance instructor and self-proclaimed 'has been' found me. He took pity on me and took me to his house. I was terrified. The few times I had accepted help from men…well, I was gun-shy to say the least. But he was so sweet and wonderful. His daughter was grown and moved out, his wife had died a few years before, and he was alone in his huge mansion. He took me to his daughter's room, instructed me to bathe and get dressed in some of her clothes, which, I might add, were a bit big on me as she was a lot taller than I…but I found some Capri pants that fell to my ankles and a tee shirt. After my bath, he fed me a feast fit for a queen and I fell asleep in his daughter's huge bed.
"The next morning, I tip-toed downstairs. I explored around a little, and that was when I found his private dance studio in the basement. I couldn't help myself and I turned on an old LP turntable and started dancing. I didn't notice him watching me until the song finished and he applauded me. He said he'd never seen such natural talent in all his life. He took me under his wing, took care of me, nurtured me, he forged documents thanks to his friends with slightly shady connections and got me a new identity, a new start, a new chance on life. I went back to school and lived with him until I turned eighteen.
"By then, I knew what I had to do. It was like a fairy tale living with him, but I was afraid for my sister, afraid Daddy was doing those things to her since she was closing in on the age that he started messing around with me. So, with Aro's blessing, I took myself back to Mobile, Alabama and confronted my dad. I didn't have proof, but my older sister did. She'd seen what he did to me and between her and myself, we were able to put our dad in prison. She took our youngest sister to live with her and I went back to Aro's, finishing my dance schooling. When the opportunity came up for me to start choreographing, Aro was one hundred percent behind it. And that's how I am where I am today."
Jasper looked at her in reverence. "Wow."
She blushed. "Yeah, well…it was a long hard road. That much is for sure."
"I wish I could say that," he said softly.
"What?" she asked.
"Could say that I got past it…that I made something of myself…"
"You have, Jasper. You're in one of the biggest bands of our time. People love you."
He snorted. "What I am is a drug addict, a fuck up, and about one hit away from being an E! True Hollywood Story."
She looked at him in shock. "Don't you say that, Jasper Whitlock. You are more, Jazz, a lot more."
"Don't you see? I can't get past it," he whispered.
"I can see what you are, Jasper, what you will become. And it's a great thing."
His eyes were downcast and she grasped his chin lightly, pulling his face up to look at her. She felt tears prick her eyes as she saw his own floating. "Jazz…
"Alice…" somehow, though neither was sure which made the first move, they were face to face, lips almost touching, and suddenly, their lips were warring with each other. He grasped her arms and she moaned as her hands wrapped around his neck.
"Jasper, Jasper, Jasper," she said softly as she pulled him so his body hovered over hers.
"Alice…you are so beautiful," he moaned before his lips attached to her neck. He kissed a path down to the buttons on her shirt and began tugging them out of the way as he lapped at her skin.
Both were still drunk enough that their actions were choppy and stumbling, but they somehow managed to get out of their clothing. Finally they were skin to skin and both reveled in the connection. "You are beautiful," Alice commented as she kissed his broken heart tattoo. His stomach muscles were taunt and quivering as she moved lower down to his manhood. She lapped at his head and he whimpered as he twitched.
"Alice, sugar, don't tease a man…"
She smirked and sucked him in, comfortable, at least, that this was one thing that she knew how to do. She had never had sex with James, or any other man, for that matter, save the abuse she had been forced to endure. She had let James bring her to orgasm by way of his mouth, but when it came to the actual act, she had been far too terrified, and James had been too nice of a guy to force her into it. So, she had become a champion at giving head, learning what James liked best. She could only assume that Jasper would be the same. She would, however, save the penetration. If what she thought had transpired between Jasper's mother's boyfriends and himself, then Jasper wouldn't appreciate that one bit, and she certainly didn't want this to end.
So she deep throated, nipped, sucked, tempted and teased until he was all but whining as she took him right to the edge. He tugged gently on her short tresses and said, "Now it's my turn to please you, Alice."
She felt the shiver run down her spine as she moved off of him and he hovered over her once more. He kissed her and then kissed down, down, down, to her bare lower lips. "You shave?" he asked, his breath puffing onto her.
She shivered again as his warm breath touched her folds. "I…ungh…wax."
"Fuck me, that is hot, Ali."
She felt a slight blush grace her skin, but she moaned as his tongue tentatively reached out to taste her.
She was the sweetest of ambrosia, the headiest of florals, and he began to drink from her like a hummingbird to a bloom. His tongue moved up and down her folds, tempting her clit before he dove into her depths, flicking in and out, causing her to writhe and her hips to buck into his face. "Fuck, Jasper," she purred.
He grinned as he continued to drive her up higher and higher until she soared over the edge. "No more," she sobbed as he continued to lightly flick her. But he didn't stop, just added a few newer moves, nibbling and suckling upon her clit, taking her up and over yet again.
Once she was spent, looking all the more like putty lying before him, he slithered back up her body and kissed her once more before pulling away to grab a condom out of the pocket of his jeans.
She watched him with wide eyes, but for some reason, she wasn't afraid. Perhaps it was the alcohol racing through her system, obliterating her inhibitions, but she realized in this one moment that she wanted this, wanted him, very much. So she opened herself for him and smiled up at him as he guided himself into her.
She winced as she was stretched to capacity, but smiled as he kissed her lips tenderly. He moved, ever so gently, thrusting into her with the care one would if they were handling the finest of crystal.
"Oh, Jasper…" she breathed as she tightened her muscles around him. She seemed to know instinctively what to do, how to move, and he began moaning with her, both whimpering at the connection.
"Alice…God, you feel so good…"
She wrapped her legs around his waist as her fingernails dug into his shoulder and he growled as he gently nipped at her neck.
"Jazz…I think I'm going to…" she felt the sensations starting, but, no, it couldn't be, could it? She had never had an orgasm like this before. She didn't even own a dildo, choosing, if she felt the urge to get herself off, external stimulation only. She was afraid she wouldn't be able to achieve an orgasm if she was penetrated.
"Cum, Ali-cat. Cum for me. Lemme feel you tighten around my cock. Lemme feel you milk my dick as you drag my cum from me…"
She whimpered once again and then screamed as she felt bliss, glorious bliss as she did just that.
She blinked when she was able to regulate her breathing and found him staring at her. "You are amazing," he said softly before he pulled away. He wrapped the condom in a napkin that was sitting on the bedside table and snuggled into her. "Now I need sleep," he muttered, his words slurred once more.
She smiled as she felt his arms wrap around her. She nuzzled into him and sighed. This, was where she was supposed to be.
Unfortunately, something that seems too good to be true usually is.
Alice awoke the next morning to an empty bed. Fear flooded her for just a moment before she heard him singing in the shower. She didn't recognize the tune, and, considering the fact that she knew all of their songs, she could only assume that it was a new one he was working on. Her thoughts were confirmed when he let out an oath and started again, changing the words slightly.
She smiled and stretched languidly, surprised at the sore muscles she had. But still, the smile remained. She had done it. She not only had sex, but had made love with the man she was in love with. And had an orgasm (or three) to boot! Nothing could bring her down from this high.
He stepped out of the bathroom, steam billowing out in his wake. All he was wearing was a pair of blue jeans. "Uh, hey," he said with a shy grin.
"Hi," she said with a shy smile of her own.
"I was getting ready to wake you. Em called. Rose is in the hospital."
"Hospital?"
He rubbed the back of his neck as he tossed on a shirt. She held in the frown. He had covered up his beautiful body. She forced herself to focus as he said, "Yeah, he tried calling both of us, but we, uh…"
Alice blushed and Jasper looked uncomfortable. He pulled on some socks and his boots and Alice blinked. "Well, I guess I'd better get dressed too, then, shouldn't I?"
She stood and he let out a quiet gasp as she walked naked to where her clothing had been tossed. She blushed again.
"Uh…" he started again. "Last night was great."
She smiled. "Yeah, it was." Now, finally he'll see…
"But, uh, see, the thing is…you know nothing can come of this, right, Ali?"
She stared at him.
"What I mean is, it was terrific, but it was just a good time right? Just a fuck between friends?"
Alice's mouth fell open and he looked down at his boots. "I mean, I wouldn't want anything to come between our friendship…"
Alice's eyes filled with tears but she nodded. She was hurt, beyond hurt, but she wouldn't let him see that. Or, at least, she tried not to let him see that. "That's fine, Jasper. But know this. You are the first man I've had sex with since my father did what he did. I considered myself a virgin up until last night. YOU may consider it a fuck between friends, but it meant infinitely more to ME. Now, if you don't mind, I want to take a shower and wash YOU off of me. I would appreciate it if you were NOT here when I get out. I'll see you at the hospital and we will NEVER speak of this AGAIN!"
"Alice…" he started.
"Save it, Jasper. I gave you a gift last night, just remember that. And, you know, it's sad. We could have had something beautiful. But now you've effectively fucked it up." With that, she stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door shut.
"What have I done?" Jasper murmured to himself as he stepped out into the hallway.
Alice was sobbing on the floor of the bathroom, wondering the same thing.
An hour later, Jasper walked into the hospital and asked the person at the desk which room Rosalie Hale was in. He was directed to the fifth floor and hurried up to her room. He gasped when he saw her and she smiled. "I'm pretty, aren't I?"
He swallowed hard and bent to kiss her hand. "You're beautiful, darlin', you've just got a few scuffs."
She laughed lightly, wincing at the end. "You southern boys kill me. Emmett just got finished saying the same thing."
"Yeah, but Emmett lacks my refinement," he told her with a smirk.
"Where the fuck you been, man?" Emmett asked under his breath. "And where is Alice?"
"I…" he started, but Alice came rushing in, looking rather refreshed. How she managed to get herself put back together and in different clothes that quick, Jasper would never know. All he knew was he took his time getting to the hospital, his mind was so full of everything that had happened in the night. He looked at her, but she pointedly ignored him as she started talking to Rosalie.
"So?" Emmett asked him.
"I just didn't realize I had missed calls," Jasper said guiltily.
Emmett just looked at him, but didn't say anything as his attention turned back to Rosalie. "Rosie, baby? Do you need some more pain medicine?"
She smiled at him. "I'm fine, Em. Thank you."
"Baby?" Jasper hissed.
Emmett shrugged. "We love each other. She's got shit to finish up with Royce, as do I, but we'll get through it. Together."
Jasper's eyebrow rose, but he could plainly see the love shining on Emmett's face. "Good for you, man. You finally found her, didn't you?"
Emmett smiled. "Yeah. And, hey, don't worry. Yours is out there, man. You'll find her some day soon."
Jasper looked at Alice and then said, "Naw, man, I may write the shit, but I don't buy into the whole 'happily ever after' bull. I'm destined to be alone and miserable for my whole life."
Emmett opened his mouth, but just then, Edward and Bella rushed in. "I'll see ya later, Em. I was out late, I need some sleep."
"Jasper…"
"Later, man, okay? Be with your woman."
Emmett looked at him unsure, but said, "Okay, man, if you say so."
Jasper just nodded and walked back out. He made it back to the hotel in a daze and walked dejectedly up to his room. He arrived and realized that housekeeping had already been in and made up the bed. He sank down onto the sheets, only to realize that they had changed them as well. There was no trace of Alice left anywhere on them. He looked around the room and found nothing to remind him that they had even done anything last night.
He didn't realize he was sobbing until he started shaking. He couldn't even stand so he crawled over to his duffel bag and dug around until his fingers closed around the baggie that held his stash. Fuck snorting shit today, I need it in my veins…hell, maybe I need both…he grabbed the coke and did a few lines on the glass-top table, just to numb him, before he pulled out his lighter and dug around in the bag until he found a spoon he'd stolen from room service a few hotels ago.
He dropped a small rock of H onto the spoon and flicked the flame from his lighter under it, waiting for it to melt. He hadn't done heroine in a while, but he had bought some the last time he'd hooked up with his dealer. Once it had melted, he grasped the syringe he'd hidden away; cursing himself for not stealing a few while he was at the hospital. He pulled the stopper back, loading it up with the drug he so desperately desired before he pulled a sock from his bag and looped it tightly around his arm.
He thumped the crook of his arm a few times and found a plump vein. As he desperately fumbled with the needle, trying to line it up with his vein through his already drug-induced haze, he missed a few times.
Each new jab of pain sent urgency through his body, turning his craving into more of an unquenchable thirst. Finally, when the needle made its way into his vein, the flood gates opened to the state of euphoria that he needed to be in once again. The feeling washed over him until he could no longer feel anything but the mind numbing pleasure of it all. He sighed out a breath as he went limp upon the floor.
Alice was sobbing as she made her way down the familiar hallway later that night. She had somehow managed to snag the last seat on the red-eye and prayed fervently that the person she needed to see was available. He has to be home, please tell me he's home, I need him to be home…she knocked on the door and was met with a familiar sight. "Alice?"
"James," she said as she all but stumbled into his arms.
"Honey, what is it?"
"I did it. I had sex."
"With him." It wasn't a question. "Did he hurt you? I swear to God, I'll kill him…"
"No, James, it was wonderful, but then he…oh!" She was sobbing again.
He picked her up bodily and carried her into his living room. He cared about Alice, a lot. He knew that she loved someone else, but that didn't stop him from loving her anyway. "Alice, tell me what happened. Please?"
"He doesn't love me. He-he-he said it was all just-just fun an-and that it was j-just a fu-fuck between friends!" Her sobs were nearing hysteria.
He sighed. He had a feeling that the asshole wouldn't reciprocate Alice's love. He had wracked his brain and was pretty sure which one of them it was that Alice pined for. He knew her quite well. They had become friends quickly enough. She was a very likeable person. "How can I help, Ali? What do you want me to do?"
"Love me, James. Just…show me I'm not something a person should toss away."
He smiled softly. "Alice, I've never pushed you for sex, you know that. I'm content to be whatever. I'm busy with my own career. If Mike and Bella taught me anything, it was not to get caught up in something that could lead to scandal."
"But this isn't a scandal. No one knows we have ever been anything to each other. It would just be…"
"A fuck between friends?" he asked, his eyebrow raised.
"Oh, James!" she sobbed once more.
He took her face in his hands and kissed her softly. "Alice, do you want this?"
"I don't know," she answered softly.
"Then you don't want this. I don't mind, sweetie. I love you enough to be with you that way. I would be honored to be with you that way…but I don't want to be a substitute for what you really want."
"How did I ever get so lucky to have you as a friend, James?"
He shrugged. "Just luck, I guess," he said with a smile.
He kissed her lips tenderly and said, "How about we have a pizza and movie night?"
Her eyebrow shot up. "You know, most men in your position would have had sex with me tonight."
He shrugged. "Most men are scumbags. I, however, am not."
"You're one of the best, Jamey. I know you'll find your one and only one day."
He nodded, not entirely sure she wasn't standing before him right then.
