A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Square Mom Lover, Tsuyna, U3fan, Guest, Miss Laury, and Lara500. Seriously guys, you all don't know how much I appreciate all of you taking the time to review every week. Thank you so much! :D


The first thing Tsunade became aware of was the intense pounding in her skull, as if someone has taken a sledgehammer to her brain. Then she noticed was how warm and comfortable she was. And realized she was laying on another body—with whom her legs were practically entangled—and her head rested on a firm, muscular chest, slowly rising and falling under her cheek.

What on earth?

Face burning, Tsunade tipped her head back to find out who, exactly, she was in this very compromising position with. She shifted cautiously, silently praying whoever it was wouldn't wake. Not until she figured out what—She stared, her heart jumping into her throat.

Messy silver hair. A scar across the left of two eyes that, if opened, would reveal a Sharingan. An ever-present mask.

How—why—how...? Tsunade felt hot all over, but strangely, all that came over her was a strong sense of relief—besides the obvious awkwardness, of course. If she'd found herself in such a position with anyone else—Jiraiya, for instance—he would immediately find himself flying through a window.

Tsunade's stomach tightened, pointedly ignoring the nagging reason why she had no desire to do the same to Kakashi. Instead, she stared at Kakashi's half-covered face, only inches away. His mask barely clung to the tip of his nose, so far down it nearly revealed the corner of his mouth, but somehow still covered everything important. In spite of herself, Tsunade relaxed. And she found she didn't really mind being in such a position with Kakashi. Of course, he was all corded muscle and not the most comfortable, but the way his arm held her close, and how he'd curved his body to fit hers... made her cheeks burn all the more. Heavens. Maybe she was a bit of a pervert, after all. Thank the gods Jiraiya couldn't see her now.

But that didn't explain how they'd ended up in the position in the first place. Tsunade tried to recall last night... oh. She'd brought back the memory of Dan and his death. She had wanted a drink, and the last thing she remembered was downing as many shots of sake as her body could handle. Which, surprisingly, had been a lot. Well. That explained that. Clearly, she'd gotten drunk and Kakashi had brought her back to the apartment. And for whatever reason, they had both ended up sleeping on the couch.

Feeling hot, Tsunade glanced down at her body. But based on the fact that she was still wearing all of her clothes, sleeping was all that they'd done. Not that she would expect anything else from Kakashi. But still... if they had done other... things, she would definitely want to remember—

Stop. Tsunade brought her extremely inappropriate thoughts to a screeching halt. Maybe some of her ideals were old-fashioned, but she'd always sworn she would only do such things when she married. No matter how... tempting it was to do otherwise. Not that there was any chance of her getting married now, anyway.

Tsunade glanced back up at Kakashi's sleeping face. With his silver hair hanging over his closed eyes and spiking every which way, he looked more than adorable. Her gaze fell to his haphazard mask. All it would take was a simple tug, and she could see his face. The face she longed to see. But she couldn't. And if she were honest, she only wanted to see him if he trusted her enough to show her himself. Still, one wrong move, and Kakashi would accidentally pull down his own mask. The least she could do was fix it for him.

Carefully, Tsunade extracted her arm from under Kakashi's. Focusing intently, and using just her fingertips, she tugged the edge of his mask up until it was back in the proper place. She pulled back—and met Kakashi's gray eye, watching her curiously. She froze. How long had he been awake?

Tsunade scrambled backward to sit further down on the couch, certain her face couldn't get any hotter. "I... um... your mask was falling off. I—I fixed it."

Kakashi sat up too, and rubbed the back of his neck. "Maa, thanks." He glanced at her nervously. "I didn't—that is... our, ah, sleeping arrangement... I don't want you to think..."

Tsunade fought a surge of amusement—and relief that the tables were turned. "You don't want me to think what, exactly?"

Kakashi paled. "Well... it's not—we weren't—"

"Weren't what? Sleeping together?" Tsunade managed to keep her voice clipped, though she was enjoying herself immensely. "Because that's not the impression I had when I woke up."

Kakashi's eye widened. "No, it wasn't like that, Tsunade-sama. I swear." He spread his hands. "When we returned from the bar, you, ah, you didn't want to be alone. So, I... stayed with you. That's all."

Heat rushed over Tsunade's skin. You didn't want to be alone. He'd stayed with her, in spite of the consequences he had to know would come with the morning. He'd stayed with his weak, drunken hokage, because she'd asked him to. What must he think of her? All she could managed was a quiet, "Oh."

Kakashi eyed her, as if still unsure of his safety. "Do you... remember anything?"

Tsunade's pulse receded. A little. "From last night?" Before she could say no, a sudden image of heated darkness and Kakashi's lips on hers stabbed her brain like lightning. She wanted to melt into the couch. Thank the shinobi gods Kakashi couldn't see what kind of dreams she'd had last night. "No."

Kakashi only nodded, but she sensed his sharp relief. What had she done? There was no telling, especially since she'd never been drunk before. Tsunade cleared her throat. "I apologize for anything I did."

Kakashi dipped his chin, though his ears looked a little redder. "There is nothing to apologize for, Tsunade-sama. How are you feeling?"

"I have a pounding headache, but..." Tsunade bit her lip at the memory of Nawaki and Dan, and couldn't help a shudder. They had left a hole in her heart that could never be replaced. And she would have to live every day with the pain of losing them, of ultimately failing them. Could she do it?

Kakashi was studying her, the lines around his eyes soft, as if he knew what she was thinking. The tension between her shoulders eased. He didn't judge her for her weakness. If anyone understood it, he did.

At that moment, Tsunade realized she didn't want to remember any more of her past. She wanted nothing more than to let it go, and stay here. Living, training, and looking at stars with Kakashi. After all the darkness and loss of her past, she just wanted to be happy. And that's what she'd had these the past five days. Contentment. Happiness. But she couldn't abandon her duty. Konoha still needed her, and she still needed Konoha. After all, she was the Godaime Hokage. It was past time she started acting like it.

"I'll be fine." Tsunade lightly pressed her hand to her stomach. It was time to bring back more memories. But every time she'd used her chakra to summon memories, the seal had grown stronger, and she, weaker. She had to be more selective. "When did I agree to become the Godaime Hokage?"

Kakashi's eye widened slightly, but he only said, "When you met Naruto Uzumaki."

Naruto. The boy so like Nawaki. Tsunade nodded slightly, and closed her eyes to focus.

She was sitting in a bar, decidedly annoyed at the two figures sitting across from her. Jiraiya, whom she hadn't seen in a good ten years, and an obnoxious boy with spiky blond hair. She'd intended to spend her evening drinking, so she didn't have to think about the decision looming over her.

But no. Instead, she had to deal with Jiraiya, who claimed she was laughably chosen to be the Godaime Hokage. And this... yellow-haired brat, whose resemblance to Nawaki disturbed her more than she cared to admit. And his reaction to her dismissal of the position of hokage... disturbed her even more.

So, a few minutes later, as she watched him struggle to his feet outside of the bar—strangely without the satisfaction of putting him in his place—she couldn't help but ask, "Why do you care about the title of hokage so much?"

Blue eyes met hers, burning with a passion she'd lost years ago. "Because becoming hokage is my dream!"

Those words returned to her as she faced Orochimaru and his Kusanagi, giving her the strength to rise to her feet in front of Naruto. Blood gushed from her stab wounds, but she no longer trembled. Tsunade smiled as she prepared to release her seal. It was time to end this. Finally, she was free. Finally, she had a reason to live. Finally, she knew who she was. All she had to do was claim it.

"I am the Godaime Hokage!"

As if those words removed the last block, every memory Tsunade had lost rushed back, overwhelming her senses. Saving Kakashi during the Third War, and subsequently leaving Konoha. Her years of traveling and drowning herself in sake and gambling, returning to Konoha to become the Godaime Hokage. And lastly, every moment of her mission with Kakashi and Naruto, ending with exhaustion from the chakra seal causing her collapse while interrogating Mao.

"Tsunade? Can you hear me? Are you all right?" Firm hands gripped her shoulders.

Tsunade's eyes flew open, and she took in the dark room surrounding her as she gasped for breath. Gradually, she became aware of the warm presence behind her, and twisted slightly. Kakashi was crouched behind her, holding her upright and gazing her in concern because... she had somehow crumpled on the floor? "What—what happened?" And why was she on the floor in a random room?

"You were bringing back your memories." Kakashi's hold on her shoulders tightened. "You were shaking... then you crumpled on the floor."

Oh... right. Tsunade's face heated and she turned away from Kakashi, unable to look him in the face. She was in Kakashi's apartment, because she'd been living with him the past few days. She pressed a hand to her heaving chest, and exhaled. "All of my memories returned. I remember... everything."

A silence, thick with tension, fell over the room. Kakashi released her and eased back. "Maa, I see. Well, that's good, isn't it?"

"Of course it's good!" Tsunade snapped, purposefully not thinking about how she'd wished the exact opposite only a few minutes ago. She struggled to her feet, focusing on anything but Kakashi. What had she done? She was the Godaime Hokage, twenty-four years his senior, and the past few days she'd acted like a—a... She curled her fingers into fists. Worst of all, she'd enjoyed it. And somehow, still wanted it. No matter how wrong—how impossible—it was.

Kakashi, too, stood. His arms hung limply at his sides. "I am glad your memories have returned, Hokage-sama."

For some reason, his return to the use of her formal title stung. Tsunade ignored it, and strode to the door. There was no point in dwelling on the past. Kakashi had only acted as a jōnin serving his hokage, and that was that. Never mind that the memory of her hand in his, of him pulling her close to his side, of waking up on his chest, still filled her with warm tingles. She shook it off forcefully. "I need to return to the hokage's office."

Kakashi appeared behind her, though he left a safe distance between them. "Then allow me to escort you."

"Fine." Tsunade stormed to the door, not bothering to see if he followed. She flung the door open and nearly rammed into a familiar broad chest.

"Ah, Tsunade. I finally found you. I was beginning to wonder if you were avoiding me." Jiraiya grinned easily. He took in her expression and Kakashi standing silently behind her, and raised a white eyebrow. "What's this? Trouble in paradise?"

Tsunade was in no mood for his jokes. Especially when they hit so close to home. "Shut up, Jiraiya. You know it's nothing of the sort. What are you doing here?"

Jiraiya held up his hands, but seemed to be suppressing a smirk. "Relax, Hime. I heard about your memory loss, and I've been attempting to check on you the past couple of days." His gaze slid past her to Kakashi. "Unsuccessfully."

Tsunade crossed her arms tightly, though she felt like bursting into tears. What was wrong with her? "I don't know what you're implying, but there's no need for you to check on me. All of my memories just returned, so I'm fine. And if you don't mind—" she pushed past Jiraiya's large frame— "I'm needed back at the hokage's office. Excuse me."

Jiraiya grunted. "All right, all right. I'll escort you."

Tsunade stopped, one hand on the railing. Everything in her felt brittle, as if one wrong movement would shatter her. She exhaled shakily, then composed herself enough to face the two men. "No need. Kakashi already offered."

"That's all right, Tsunade-sama," Kakashi said quickly. He wouldn't meet her gaze, and her chest squeezed painfully. "I see I'm no longer needed. I'm sure you and Jiraiya-san have a lot to talk about."

"R-right. Of course." Tsunade swallowed hard. But cracks spread through her body, threatening to crumble. It wasn't Kakashi's fault she'd read too much into his kindness while without her memory. It wasn't his fault he made her feel weak.

It wasn't his fault that—memory loss or no memory loss—she'd fallen in love with him.

Tsunade squeezed her eyes shut, silently cursing through clenched teeth. Of all the hopeless things... She'd thought she would never love again. Not after Dan. But here she was, all too aware of the silver-haired ninja standing silently in his doorway.

Jiraiya glanced between them, and his gaze softened with a recognition Tsunade was too tired to attempt to read. Without a word, he stepped past Tsunade and tromped down the rusted stairway to wait for her at the bottom. Tsunade watched him go, still gripping the now slightly-bent railing. Why was she still standing here? She should follow Jiraiya, returned to where she was needed. But still, she didn't move. Desperately didn't want to move.

"Tsunade."

Slowly, painfully, Tsunade faced Kakashi. He hadn't moved, but he was watching her, his gray eye focused, intense. Just like... last night. Tsunade's grip tightened on the rail as fragments of memory assaulted her.

Bottle after bottle of sake; desperately trying to wash away what she couldn't change.

Staggering down a dark street, unable to keep her footing. Warm hands steadying her.

Two names. Two faces. First one, then the other. Dan. Kakashi. She couldn't focus. She thought she was talking to Dan, but it was Kakashi's gray eye fixing on her, his warm hand cupping her chin. And Kakashi's voice...

"Tsunade. You are beautiful and perfect."

"You make me feel alive. Whole."

Unable to speak without crying, she stared at him. At Kakashi. There was no Dan. Not anymore. Only Kakashi. And Kakashi was the only one she wanted.

Tsunade's eyes flew open, immediately connecting with Kakashi's gaze, her heart pounding. And she saw everything. She was his someone. There was no one else, and there never had been. Tsunade swallowed past the aching lump in her throat. And, somehow, that hurt the most. She was a fool.

How long had he cared for her?

"Kakashi..." But she couldn't say what she wanted to say. Couldn't release the words longing to be free. Because once she spoke them, they couldn't be unsaid. No matter how they felt, some things couldn't be. It would be better if he didn't know how she felt. That she'd grown to love him. She was saving both of them from pain. "Thank you for letting me stay at your home these past few days. It is appreciated."

Kakashi closed his eye, as if absorbing a blow. But when it opened, his eye was steely with resolve. "It was an honor, Hokage-sama." He bowed, and added, "I and my ninken are always at your service. Now, if you will excuse me, I have other duties that require my attention."

Tsunade barely had time to nod before he closed the door. The ache in her heart was almost more than she could bear, though she knew that was the only way it could go. Kakashi had known it too. But that didn't make it hurt any less. She'd thought she couldn't take any more heartbreak, yet here she was. But in another way... she was almost relieved. He didn't know everything. Kakashi still hadn't seen her true face, and she had no intention of showing him. And wasn't that the decision she'd made so long ago? She couldn't have something that wasn't real, no matter how tempting.

Tsunade took a deep breath, and walked down the steps to join Jiraiya. Still... she remembered that night watching stars up on the rooftop, the feeling of warmth and—no. Enough. It was time forget it and move on.

Because she was the Godaime Hokage, and Konoha came first.


Square Mom Lover: Ahhhh, thank you! :D I was a bit nervous about what you guys would think of that chapter, so I'm so glad you loved it! Things are about to, ahem, take a turn for the worse, so I wanted to end that section on a high note. XD Kakashi probably wanted to stop her from drinking, but I have a feeling his sympathy got the better of him. But yes, I wanted to show how her old character is slowly coming back, if a little altered. I love reading your theories! They always give me ideas. :) Thank you! I'm so glad you love it. I admit, I wish I could update more often for you guys, but sadly, I'm a rather slow writer, lol.

Tsuyna: Thank you for your review! I'm so glad you loved the chapter, it means a lot. I'm not the most emotional person in real life, so I have to really work at it in my writing. Fortunately, getting into the character's head helps a lot with that. Thanks again! :)

U3fan: Thank you! It was one of my favorite chapters to write. I wanted to give Kakashi some clarity on Tsunade's feelings for him before things start to go downhill, so a kiss seemed like a good way to do that. XD We'll see how much Tsunade gets in her own way now that she's back to her normal self.

Guest: Thank you! I really enjoy writing Naruto and Tsunade's interactions, though I do wish I had more opportunities to put them together. But the story is Tsunade/Kakashi centric, so Naruto gets the short end of the stick, lol. As for the slow burn, yeah, you got me there. But chapter 19 isn't too bad, right? XD I'm not really counting it as 'the kiss' since Tsunade wasn't quite in her right mind, so the best is yet to come. Hopefully. ;) Anyway, I'm so glad you liked it! It felt like the right time to put it in, so I'm glad you thought so too. I'll admit, I'm not the biggest fan of Dan, so this felt like the best way to get Tsunade to move past him. Thank you, and you stay safe as well!

Miss Laury: Aww, thank you so much! Your review made my day. XD I really appreciate all of your complements. I'm glad you enjoyed the bonus scene! I'm actually entertaining another story idea whichamong other thingswould involve Tsunade being more present in Naruto's life, because I've wondered those same things. Having Kakashi and Naruto is definitely good for Tsunade. It makes a world of difference if you have people who love you to help you through hard times. And yessss for #1 fan Naruto! XD Yes, I definitely think those are some of the reasons Tsunade mistook Kakashi for Dan at first. You've got a good eye for storytelling details! I'm impressed. Aww, thanks! It's my goal in life as a writer to make people scream and cry for joy. :D

Lara500: Thank you! Haha, yeah, Tsunade really knows how to show her feelings, doesn't she? XD I can't blame her for being mad, though I think it was partly because she couldn't even admit to herself how strong her feelings for Kakashi are. I actually got the inspiration for Tsunade mistaking Kakashi for Dan from another fic, though I unfortunately can't remember the title or author of it. I'm glad you enjoyed it!