Hey everyone! Hope you're all doing well and staying safe! Thank you to everyone that's still enjoying this story and leaving comments/ follows/ favorites. They definitely motivate me to keep writing. For those who are still unsure, I just wanted to make one thing clear. This is NOT going to be an Emma/Clay story. To me, they have more of a brother/ sister relationship so that's what I'm going with. Sorry to those who wanted to see them together. Anyway, here's a new chapter! I'm thinking there's going to maybe be two or three more chapters to this story that has become wayyyyy longer than I anticipated, but who knows, it could end up being longer.
Clay did surprisingly well during breakfast. Although there were a few hairy moments where his anxiety of the crowded restaurant almost got the best of him, for the most part, he acted as if nothing had ever happened. They laughed, joked and caught up some more on the last year. Emma even broke down and nervously mentioned that she was dating a kid from her school named Trevor.
Naturally, all three men immediately starting nailing Emma with questions about Trevor and trying to pry as much information out of her as they can. Eventually, the questions let up and they come to the conclusion that Trevor seems like a decent guy, although they wouldn't give their full blessing until they actually had the chance to meet him.
By the time they got home, Clay was drained and headed straight to the bedroom to take a nap after thanking everyone for breakfast.
As soon as they knew he was asleep, Emma started putting her two cents in. "See. He did fine.
"She's right Jace. He did a lot better than I expected." Sonny added in.
"Yeah. I know." Jason rubbed his face.
"Ever think maybe you guys are holding him back? Keeping him from really moving on?" Emma asked.
"I didn't think we were until today." Jason said as he looked over at Sonny.
"You guys baby him. Always have. He's a grown man. He doesn't need to be babied so much." Emma lectured.
"Uhhh, in our defense… yes he did." Sonny stated trying to defend himself. "You didn't see him when he first came home."
"Sonny's right. He did need it, but you're right too Em. We shoulda stopped being so overbearing a few weeks ago." Jason admitted.
"Great. Glad you agree. So why don't we try to make this a weekly thing until I have to go back to school?" Emma smiled. "Oh, and can we have everyone over for a BBQ tonight?"
"That might be a bit much for one day, princess." Sonny said.
"Sonny's right again. We'll let up on the babying, but we still gotta move slow." Jason knew Emma wanted to see everyone, so in order to avoid the daggers Emma was about to throw he continued. "But maybe tomorrow we can."
Emma thought about it and agreed. "Tomorrow probably works better anyway. Gives us more time to get whatever we need from the store."
"Alright. Tomorrow it is then. I'll let the guys know." Jason informed them.
"Great! Can I invite some of my friends?" Emma asked.
"I don't know if that's such a good idea for tomorrow. Let's keep it just the guys and their families for now. We can do a separate BBQ or something with them on a different day. How's that sound?" Jason bargained.
Emma reluctantly agreed and then headed to the living room to watch a little bit of TV while Jason and Sonny remained in the kitchen planning out the BBQ and inviting the guys.
About an hour later, they heard Clay making his way to the bathroom and into the shower. Once she heard the water turn off, Emma asked Jason if it was ok to jump in his shower, not knowing how long Clay was gonna be in the one she would typically use.
By the time she motivated herself to get up and head to the shower, Clay was already in the bedroom, half dressed. Unfortunately for him, Sonny and Jason used to make him keep the door open in case he needed them so that they could hear him calling and he got so used to it that he doesn't even bother to shut the door anymore.
Emma stopped in her tracks and just stared as she walked by her room, where Clay was standing in the middle of the room with his back turned towards the door, wearing only a pair of gym shorts. For the second time that day, she felt tears forming in her eyes as she caught sight of the nasty looking scars on his back. No one had told her any of the details about Clay's time as a prisoner, but she knew there had to be some sort of scar or something. She just wasn't expecting his entire back to be covered in them.
As Clay turned around, shirt in hand, he nearly jumped out of his skin seeing Emma just standing there staring at him. "Jesus Emma. How long have you been standing there?"
"How did you get those?" She blurted out without meaning to. She had no intentions of asking him. In fact, she was gonna ask her dad or Sonny later, but the words just came out.
Clay couldn't lie to Emma so with an unreadable expression on his face he reluctantly replied "A whip."
Emma was almost embarrassed for asking so she real quick said "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ask, I just- the words just came out before I could stop them." And then she just as quickly walked away.
Clay threw his shirt on and then sat down on the bed trying to figure out what his next move needed to be before deciding he needed to talk to Jason and Sonny.
Jason and Sonny could tell something wasn't right as soon as Clay stepped foot outside. "What happened? Are you ok?"
"Yeah, um… Emma. She uh… She seen my scars." Clay forced out.
'Oh shit.' Sonny thought.
"She what?" Jason asked even though he heard Clay loud and clear. They had no intentions of hiding some of what Clay went through while he was held captive from Emma. There was a time and a place for that conversation. Now though, they felt like they needed to have it sooner than any of them were ready for.
"She walked by as I was getting dressed. I had my back to the door and she asked how I got the scars." Clay admitted.
"What did you tell her?" Sonny asked.
"I told her the truth. That I was whipped. I'm pretty sure she regretting asking cause she took of towards your room almost before I finished answering her."
"I'll talk to her later. Fill her in a bit on some of the details that way neither of you guys are caught off guard like that again. How's that sound?" Jason asked wanting to make sure Clay was ok with him telling Emma some of the details.
Clay shook his head. "Nah. That's ok. I should be the one to do it." Clay said.
"Clay." Sonny broke in. "You really don't have to do. We can handle it." He knew Clay still had a hard time talking about it and was trying to make things easier for him.
"I'll be fine Sonny." Clay insisted and then headed back inside to wait for Emma to finish her shower.
Clay sat on the bed trying to figure out what he was going to say. As Emma walked by, he quickly called her. "Emma."
Emma stopped and looked into the room to see Clay sitting on the bed. He patted the spot next to him and she silently entered and sat on the bed with him. She had a pretty good idea what this conversation was going to be about and wasn't sure if she was prepared for it.
They sat there silently for a couple minutes, both trying to figure out how to start the conversation when Emma finally broke the silence. "I thought for sure I was never going to see you again." Emma admitted, fighting back tears.
"I know Em. There were days where I felt the same way."
Emma could see Clay fighting with what to say next so she tried to help him along. "I'm sorry I asked about your scars. I really didn't mean to."
"You don't need to be sorry about that Em. That's kinda why were having this conversation right now. I need to get better about talking about what happened to me over there." He paused. "So, go ahead. Ask me anything you want. I promise I'll do my best to answer."
"Anything?" Emma was kind of surprised that she was the one Clay picked to really open up to.
"Yes. Anything. If it's too much I'll let you know, but this is the best way I know how to do this."
"Why me? Why not my dad, or Bravo or the therapist?" Emma asked wearily, not wanting Clay to put his wall back up.
"Because you're a better listener than them and won't judge me. Don't get me wrong. Dr. Conners is great. He's helping a lot, but sometimes it's nice to have someone to talk to that can just listen. And as much as I love Bravo, I feel like the only thing they want to hear is that I'm gonna return to Bravo. If you're not up for it I understand."
"No. I'm up for it." Emma lied, knowing she had to do this for Clay. "Do you not want to return to Bravo?"
"Honestly, I don't know what I want yet. I mean, obviously I would love to operate again, I think… But I also need to face reality. What are the chances of them actually clearing me to return?"
"I'd say pretty high. You're Clay freaking Spenser. Nothing keeps you down." Emma tried making him feel better.
"I don't know about that Em. I'm a fucking wreck. I can barely sleep through the night, I'm jumpy around certain noises and my hands are always shaky. Kinda hard to be a sniper without a steady hand."
"Clay. No one is expecting you to make that decision right away. You've barely been out of the hospital and look at how much progress you made already. Take the small victories for what they are." Emma hoped she was getting through to him.
"Easier said than done." Clay mumbled.
Emma remained silent for another minute trying to build up courage to ask a tough question. "What was the worst part?"
Clay wanted to say all of it, but he really was trying to get better about talking about it and knew that answer wouldn't be enough. "The wondering." He finally answered.
"The wondering?" She repeated.
"Yeah. Wondering if each day was gonna be the day that I was either rescued or killed. Wondering what Bravo was up to and how they were taking it. Wondering if they were even alive and looking for me."
Emma had no idea how to respond to that. When she didn't answer, Clay continued.
'The pain, the torture, the constant hunger and dehydration. That all just became part of a normal day. Those things I could handle. What I couldn't handle was the not knowing.
Clay and Emma both had tears rolling down their faces. Emma really didn't expect for Clay to be so open with her, but she understood why she was the chosen one. She didn't have a dog in the fight. She would support Clay no matter what his future looked like. As much as Bravo supports him and says they're ok with whatever Clay decides to do in the future, they all know it's an act. Bravo is banking on Clay making it back to them. And Dr. Conners, as good as he was at his job, was working to get Clay back to Bravo as well.
Before they knew it, they heard the sliding glass door open and Jason and Sonny coming back in.
Clay decided he opened up enough for one day and they both wiped their tears and left the room and rejoined Jason and Sonny in the living room.
It was immediately obvious that both had been crying, which in a way relieved them because that meant they actually had a conversation and Clay didn't bullshit his way through it like he would occasionally try to do with them.
"You guys good?" Jason asked.
Clay just nodded and smiled.
Emma replied "Yeah. We're good." And sat on the couch between her dad and Clay.
"Ok good. We were thinking of taking it easy tonight. Pizza and a movie sound good?" Jason asked.
"Sounds great." Emma smiled.
Clay once again just nodded, wondering what made tonight any different than any other. They take it easy every night.
"Ok good, cause today was kinda eventful and we have another one planned for tomorrow."
Clay looked questioningly at Jason.
"Family BBQ with the guys and their families. That is, if you're up for it."
"Hell yeah." Clay replied, then thought about it. "Wait. Like everyone?" The guys have been in and out daily and aside from the rare appearance from Naima, he hasn't seen anyone else since he's been home. He wasn't even sure if Ray and Naima had told Jameelah he was alive yet.
"That's usually what a family BBQ is. Everyone." Sonny chuckled.
Clay looked from Sonny over to Jason. "Did Ray tell the kids yet?"
"They're gonna tell them in the morning. Everyone will be here around 1." Jason informed him, satisfied that Clay seemed excited to have everyone in one place at the same time. He just hoped everything went smoothly and they weren't moving too fast.
