Charlie turned the horses and the travelers were suddenly in a corridor of trees, mostly hemlocks and laurel leaf willows, shading and dappling sunlight on the occupants of the wagon and on Allie riding along beside them.
Jack even looked up, squinting against the sunlight, mesmerized by the patterns it made.
Coming out of the tree-lined drive, they were greeted with the sight of the house, long and low, with clean whitewashed clapboard siding and a covered wrap-around porch.
Elizabeth was reminded of what Nathan had said about the porch swing, and she was delighted to see that there was a hammock just to the right of it. She could already imagine sitting on the swing with Nathan, while Allie and Jack lazed in the hammock beside them.
"Oh, Nathan," she said softly, taking his hand. "It's so lovely."
Behind the house, Elizabeth could see the horse barn, the paddocks, pens with pigs and goats, and a chicken coop. There were about a dozen cows grazing beyond the barn, and there was a large fenced-in vegetable garden to the right. To the left and behind the house was a natural hill with a huge spreading oak at the top. Elizabeth could see a rectangular white fence marking off an area just under the tree. She sighed. The family graveyard.
She gazed up at it for a moment and then turned to see that Nathan was doing the same. The look on his face was the one she remembered so clearly from the early days of his posting in Hope Valley. Then, she had thought it inscrutable; a kind of mysteriously abstracted look. Now she saw it for exactly what it was - Nathan missing the other half of himself.
She reached her hand up and touched his face. He turned to her and she smiled warmly. He held her hand there and kissed the palm, and then he smiled sadly and said, "It's okay."
Rebecca saw it all, as she seemed to see everything. She nodded at Elizabeth and then she said brightly, "Home sweet home. It's not fancy, but it's good and tight in the rain and the snow, and it stays cool in the summer. And on a spring day like today? Glorious! Welcome, Elizabeth. We're glad to have you."
"And I'm so glad to be here," Elizabeth said, taking Rebecca's outstretched hand.
Charlie directed two young ranch hands to carry bags and help Nathan navigate the front porch stairs with his crutches.
The big house had rooms for everyone, and in Elizabeth's room, Charlie had even brought in Nathan's old crib from the storage area in the barn. It had been cleaned and fitted with crisp white linens for Jack to sleep in while he was here.
Allie's room was next to hers, and Nathan was in his old room at the end of the long hall.
Leading Elizabeth into her room, Rebecca said, "Eight hours on a train and an hour in an open wagon. You'll want to freshen up. There's soap and water and clean towels here, Elizabeth. Just make yourself at home. Supper is at six, and don't even think about helping. Maybe I'll let you and Nathan do the dishes after..." And Rebecca was off, closing the door on her way out.
Elizabeth looked at Jack in her arms and laughed softly. She wondered, for the millionth time, what went on in his little head. A completely new place, new people and the splendid tornado that was Rebecca Grant - and her Jack just gazed around him with bright and wise eyes.
She stood over at the crib and tried to imagine Nathan at Jack's age, but was unable to. Maybe Rebecca had pictures...
And there, on the wall, was a framed photo that took her breath away. Clearly Nathan, younger, perhaps twenty. His arm was easily around the shoulders of a pretty girl, the same age. Elizabeth moved closer in amazement.
The bone structure, the dark curly hair, the blue eyes and strong brows. Not identical, but as near as could be imagined. Parts of the photo were blurry, because Sarah couldn't stay still. She was laughing and Nathan was trying not to laugh beside her. It was a picture filled with joy and possibilities.
There were lines missing on Nathan's face. The deep ones around his mouth hadn't been created yet, and he looked like he could conquer the world if he wanted to.
Before she knew it was happening, Elizabeth felt a tear course down her cheek. She looked at Jack and he was looking back at her solemnly.
She pointed to Nathan in the picture and said, "Who's that, Jack?"
Jack reached his hand up and showed her the Mountie, and said his version of Nathan. It came out sort of like in'tan.
"That's right," she said softly. She looked at Jack and said, "Nathan."
By the time she had washed and changed, and done the same with Jack, she felt ready to explore. Jack had slept on the train and was wide awake.
She opened the door and Nathan was standing there, balanced precariously on his crutches, just about to knock.
"Hi!" Elizabeth said in surprise.
"Hello," he said, crooked smile firmly in place.
"What?" she said, tilting her head.
"You're here. In the house I grew up in. My mother adores you already. And I'm just... taking it all in." He laughed softly. "I'm sure you're aware of all that, but you'll always need to remember that I don't move as quickly as most people."
Elizabeth laughed too. "Your mother moves fast enough for all of us," she said, whispering. "And I absolutely adore her, too."
"I'd like to take you somewhere," Nathan said. "We can either take Jack, or Allie said she'd love to take him out to the swing."
"The porch swing?" Elizabeth said.
"Actually, we have a tree swing over by the goat pen, and there are some newborns. And we won't be far," Nathan said.
She got up on her toes and kissed his cheek, lingering there for a moment. "I think I know where we're going, and I'd very much like to do that."
"Good," he said, looking down. "Normally we would walk up, but..." he pointed to his leg. "We'll take the wagon and go around the back side."
Allie was waiting for them outside and Jack went right to her. Nathan and Elizabeth stood for a moment watching them walk away, hand in hand, until Jack got tired and put his arms up and Allie carried him.
"When did she get so grown up?" Nathan said, putting his arm around Elizabeth.
"I know. I see it in my classroom every year. You should have seen Opal when she first came to school."
The view from the top of the hill was spectacular. Not only of the ranch but also the surrounding countryside. The sun was low in the sky and there was a light breeze blowing.
Nathan decided to forgo the crutches on the uneven grass, so he put his arm around Elizabeth and used her for balance. There were seven graves and room for more. Nathan pointed them out, one by one - Rebecca's parents, her two brothers and a sister, and then the most recent ones.
Elizabeth stopped and breathed deeply.
It wasn't the graves, one small, one large, that stopped her. It was that each had a wooden plaque on a post – a plaque that looked almost identical to the one Nathan made for the library.
NATHAN CALEB BUTLER
Gone Too Soon, In Our Hearts Forever
SARAH ELIZABETH GRANT BUTLER
Daughter, Sister, Wife, Mother
Loved and Missed by All
Exhaling, Elizabeth said, "Nathan, you made these."
He nodded, his eyes focused on the plaques.
"They're so beautiful," Elizabeth said.
Nathan was quiet, so she was quiet with him.
But of course, in her head, Elizabeth had noticed what she thought Rebecca was starting to say to her in the wagon. Nathan had an aunt named Elizabeth who died at birth, according to the dates.
And Sarah's middle name was Elizabeth.
Nathan stirred beside her and she looked up. He gazed a little sheepishly at her. "Why didn't I tell you? Probably because at the time I was trying to convince myself that signs don't exist."
Dinner was for six; Rebecca, Charlie, Nathan, Elizabeth, Allie and Jack. Rebecca seemed a natural cook; she'd made a hearty country beef stew, fluffy buttermilk biscuits, lots of fresh vegetables from the garden and an apple tart for dessert.
Elizabeth found herself drawn to watching Nathan and Rebecca because it was just another way to know him. As everyone joined in the kitchen, Rebecca was stirring the stew and Nathan stood on one leg next to her at the stove. He simply put his arm around her while they talked. Rebecca gave him a taste of the stew, he nodded, telling her how good it was; they were so easy with each other, and it was obvious how much respect and love was shared between them.
It made Elizabeth think of her own mother. She loved her, of course, but she couldn't in her wildest dreams imagine her mother in the kitchen, unless it was to direct the staff. There was a warmth about this room and about Rebecca that Elizabeth found she wanted in her life.
She looked down at Jack and tried to see him at Nathan's age now, and herself at Rebecca's. She could only hope for this kind of bond with her son.
At the table, as the food was passed around and the long day discussed, Rebecca finally got around to the cast on Nathan's leg.
"Mountie work or not?" Rebecca said in typically direct tones.
Nathan hesitated. "Well... not officially..."
Rebecca sighed. "Were you wearing your uniform?"
Nathan knew he'd been caught. "Yes."
"Okay, so Mountie work," Rebecca said flatly. "Who else was involved? And how dangerous were they?"
Elizabeth thought the Mounties could take a lesson from Rebecca in how to conduct a ruthless interrogation.
Nathan sighed, "No one else. I was alone."
That got Rebecca's attention. "Alone?" she said incredulously. "So, you... tripped?"
"Basically. Or more to the point, Bear tripped," Nathan said, calmly getting another helping of stew.
Rebecca was finally speechless, and Elizabeth didn't think that happened very often.
Nathan looked at Elizabeth as he grabbed another biscuit. "Actually, it was Elizabeth's fault."
"Mine?" Elizabeth said, looking up in surprise.
He kept his eyes on Elizabeth's as he spoke and she wondered if he knew how to make them more blue - because they were very, very blue.
"I wanted to get back to her. I missed her." Nathan held Elizabeth's eyes for a moment and then looked over at his mother, shrugging. "I wasn't paying attention."
Rebecca laughed, watching Elizabeth blush. "Well, that's a much better reason than Mountie work." Her questions sufficiently answered, Rebecca passed the vegetables to Allie. She pointed to them, indicating that Allie needed to take some. Allie made a face, but she dutifully got a large spoonful.
"And when can you ride?" Rebecca asked Nathan. "I was hoping to take you out to look at some fencing. Charlie says it will last through next winter, and I don't agree. We need you to break the tie."
Nathan glanced sideways at Elizabeth. "I could do that."
Elizabeth opened her mouth and then closed it. Unfortunately for Nathan, Rebecca saw it. "What's he not telling me, Elizabeth?"
Raising her eyebrow and looking at Nathan, Elizabeth said, "That the doctor told him not to ride for eight weeks and it's only been four."
Nathan smiled at her. "I'll only ride half as far."
Elizabeth tried not to laugh, but couldn't quite manage it.
"Look," Nathan said, rapping his knuckles on his cast. "This is hard as a rock. I think Sunset should be more worried about getting injured, which is why I'm going to pad this thing before I ride her."
He turned to Elizabeth. "I'm sorry. You can't keep me off a horse. It's just not natural for me."
Elizabeth frowned. "Only at a walk," she said.
"That's fair," Nathan said, trying to suppress a smile, knowing he'd won this round.
"And if it starts to hurt, you come home?" Elizabeth said, raising her eyebrows. Nathan knew she was serious because she was using her teacher voice.
"Agreed," Nathan said, and now he was truly smiling.
"Good," Elizabeth said, picking up her plate and Charlie's. "And if you can ride, you can dry dishes."
Rebecca watched this exchange closely. These two were going to be just fine together. She hadn't seen Nathan this content and peaceful in his own skin for over ten years. She would even go so far as to say he was happy.
And as the icing on the cake, for the first time in his thirty-four years, Rebecca knew that Nathan was in love. And the way he was with that little Jack? A revelation.
Dishes done, Nathan and Elizabeth wandered out to the porch to watch the sunset. Once they were out of the room, Jack started engaging with Rebecca and Charlie in addition to playing with Allie.
But story time was another thing entirely. If Nathan was anywhere near, no one else could read him his bedtime story. It didn't matter to Jack that they were in a different place and with new people.
Nathan brought one of his own childhood books from his room and read it in different voices, making Jack giggle. Finally, after a very big day, Jack gave up and started yawning. He slept soundly on Nathan's shoulder while everyone talked softly in front of the fire.
Elizabeth noticed that Rebecca's incisive blue eyes strayed often to Nathan as he affectionately stroked Jack's back, talking softly so he wouldn't wake him. Her smile was Nathan's, inscrutable, but so soft and clearly full of so much love.
Elizabeth's heart was full for this family that had known so much sorrow. Nathan, Rebecca and Allie were the survivors, bound not only in their love but also in the fact that they were still standing. And standing together.
After a long day of travel and fresh air, the group scattered to their beds. Nathan carried Jack into Elizabeth's room and put him gently in the crib. After rubbing his back a few times, he bent down and kissed him on the cheek, saying, "'Night, little man."
He turned to see Elizabeth behind him, her eyes soft, and he couldn't wait any longer. There was something about having her here that felt so right.
"I've been wanting to do this all day," he said. He took her in his arms and kissed her, and Elizabeth felt the familiar combination of gentleness and fire that was present in Nathan when he felt things deeply.
After a few moments, and with reluctance, he pulled away from her. They were both a little breathless.
Nathan laughed softly. "I... um... should... I should go," he said, pointing at the door.
My sweet, stuttering, awkward Nathan is back, Elizabeth thought. I've missed him.
Elizabeth ran her thumb across his cheek, smiling. "Are you... blushing?" she asked.
"I don't blush," Nathan said. "Ever."
Elizabeth raised her eyebrows, "Of course. Must have been all that sun today." She led him toward the door, but on the way her eye caught the photo of him with Sarah. She lingered on it and he followed her eyes.
Elizabeth said, "I'm so glad to see this."
Nathan nodded and laughed softly. "That was a good day."
"It looks like it. And I feel as if I can see how you were together," Elizabeth said. "It makes me smile."
Nathan looked at the photo for a moment longer, and then said, "This was a good day, Elizabeth. And I wasn't sure if I would say that again after Sarah died." He kissed her, quickly this time, and said, "Sleep well."
Just before he closed the door, he said, softly, "I love you. I'm very glad you're here."
As he started down the hall on his crutches, Elizabeth opened the door again and whispered, "Me, too."
She watched him all the way down the long hall, and just before he went into his room, she smiled and waved. He did the same, and he was thinking it too.
Just like our row houses. Everything is different, but it's really the same. No matter where we are.
