Day 4:
All I want is to see you smile
If it takes just a little while
I know you don't believe that it's true
I never meant any harm to you
Don't stop thinking about tomorrow
Don't stop, it'll soon be here
It'll be, better than before,
Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone
I nearly freak out when I wake up the next morning. But I have to remind myself, there's no need. These people here are allies. They are not going to hurt me. They want to help...
Don't get attached VR, I think to myself. This isn't going to last forever. Don't be stupid and think that they actually care about you.
My stomach hurts; either from fear or from stab wounds and I' not sure which sounds better at the moment. I hate being so paranoid all the time, waiting for the day to be over so I can finally put this behind me. People tell me I'm too sensitive and emotional or my own good. Maybe that's a good thing? No, no it's not. Otherwise, I wouldn't be too much of this, too much of that.
I'm going to have to leave my allies at some point or kill them. I don't think I can. After Ethan put in the effort to keep me from bleeding out to my own pathetic death? After Troy ran away from one of the deadliest people left because he felt safer with us? What kind of monster would I be if I just turned my back? Especially since I haven't contributed anything at all!
I've already doomed so many people so far and left them to die. Gayle...Flynn...indirectly, Bartleby was kind of my own fault too. I don't think I could ever forgive myself if...
"What time is it?" Ethan asks loudly, rolling onto his side. A sleepy Troy shushes him.
"I don't know. But it's morning for sure."
"What's for breakfast?"
"Dried meat." I hand Ethan one of my two remaining dried meat packs, then tossing the other one towards Troy. "Help yourself."
"What will you eat?" Troy asks.
I show him the final pack, which only has half of its contents left. "I'm not that hungry."
"You should eat more," Troy frowns, examining the pack of meat. "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."
"Don't worry about me. It's fine. We need to conserve food anyways."
Ethan tugs at the meat with his teeth. "Hey, more food for us! I'm fucking famished. Anyways, this is some good shit, VR. I can call you VR, right?"
"Yeah, that's fine by me." The least I can do is let Ethan give me a nickname.
"What does it mean?" Troy says in a quiet voice. "Why didn't your parents just give you a single first name?"
"It's from both of my grandmothers. It's their middle names; a family tradition on my mom's side. My younger brother's name is the same, except it's from both of our grandfathers. Alan-Johannes. We usually call him Alan."
"Have you always been VR?"
I shrug. "I let my friends call me that because it's a lot easier. Some people call me Vera and my dad calls me Ria. Not my mom. Full name for her."
Ethan cackles. "That's a lot of letters for her to build up on."
I groan. "Don't mention it."
Beep. It's another sponsor gift. Actually, it looks like multiple gifts at once. Ethan jumps to his feet, trying to catch the parcels as they float down. "Holy shit, guys! There's so much stuff! There's something for you, VR...ooh, is this for me?"
Ethan hands me a stiff bronze bow and a leather quiver of eight arrows. It's not the same quality as the previous bow I had. But someone out there, even after my big screw-up yesterday, thinks I deserve a second chance. A chance to prove myself...
Troy frowns, rolling up all the tiny parachutes. "I didn't get anything today. I thought, since we all got something yesterday..."
Ethan giggles hysterically, holding up a bag of tomatoes. "Hey, it's all chill. We can share."
"Is there a note?" I ask, slipping the quiver over my shoulder. It's not as comfortable as my last one.
"Nope. I don't see one. Not here, not here...oh wait. here it is."
Ethan hands me the paper scrap, then bursts into laughter. "It came with all these stupid devil masks! Look, there's one for each of us! See Troy, people did send you stuff!"
"Oh my God." Ethan's right. Those devil masks are absolutely stupid. I cackle to myself as I unfold the note. It appear to be from Troy's mentor, Roman, who won the Games before Cheyenne if memory serves.
Someone wanted to send everybody one of these and Cheyenne insisted I send it. No clue why, didn't care to ask. Also, stop hanging out with the outliers and just kill them both already. Your district partner would have with no shame. Why the hell would you run away from her!?
-Roman
I look over at Troy. Ethan is currently helping him put on his mask. Right, I shouldn't forget he's from District 2, where they train their kids for stuff like this. But that's not Troy, right? He seems too...too...too down to try something like that. He's the complete opposite of Ethan, who never stops joking around. It doesn't appear as either of them want to hurt me.
But they could...
"VR! Get your mask on!" Ethan shoves it onto my face. "Even Troy's wearing his and he's always so grumpy!"
Troy folds his arms. "I am not!"
"You kinda are," I giggle. "Come on Troy, this is fun, right?"
"Well...I guess it is. A little. But why masks?"
"Because everyone got one, according to the note. Troy, Cindra and her allies are probably wearing masks too!"
The edges of Troy's lips curl up ever so faintly. It's not a smile but for him, it's good enough. "I wish I could be there to see it."
Despite the fact that I can barely see out of them, the masks are fun. For a brief moment, I can forget everything. All my worries and fears are gone, just for a little while. In another world, a world without the Hunger Games, maybe Troy, Ethan and I could actually be friends?
I can't forget the truth. The fact that they are both very capable of taking me out. I can't get attached. I can't let them close. I can't give them all my trust. I simply can't. Not after what happened with Opal. Too many people are out to get me. I don't think I can ever trust anybody here ever again.
For now, I think to myself, banishing all those negative thoughts because I don't want to think of them anymore. I'll trust them for now. For today.
Alliances:
Careers: Cindra, Anthony, Quincy
The Beans: Sitka, Maryann
Three Bs: Tyrone, Whyllis
Awkward Trio: Troy, Ethan, VR
Lone Wolf Opal: Opal
Kills:
Cindra: 4 (Bartleby, Ellie, Magaz, Leo)
Anthony: 2 (Gayle, Basil)
Quincy: 2 (Flynn, Teff)
Karen: 1 (Abril)
Tyrone: 1 (Delta)
Magaz: 1 (Karen)
Whyllis: 2 (Damask, Jane)
Yes, there are no deaths this chapter! Pretty rare now, isn't it?
Devil masks extravaganza! Sponsor gifts extravaganza! Yes, someone sent the request in and it was just such a funny idea, I could not resist. Not the same as a cool hat extravaganza but still very, very, very fun! At least the awkward trio thinks so.
See you all next chapter!
-Vr
