Elizabeth hadn't specifically seen a rooster the day before, but he was certainly making his presence known to her this morning.
Jack was up early and ready to face the day, but it wasn't easy for Elizabeth to get out of the warmest, softest feather bed she could remember.
She washed and dressed, and did the same with Jack. By the time she opened the door into the hallway, the distinct aromas of pancakes, eggs and sausage were drifting temptingly from the kitchen into the rest of the house.
There was a conversation already in progress, and Elizabeth sat at the kitchen table with Jack on her lap.
"I've told you, Mom, you have to stop naming them. If you name them, they become pets, and then you say you can't sell pets," Nathan said. He poured a glass of apple juice for Elizabeth and a small cup for Jack.
It appeared that Nathan had set aside the crutches, and Elizabeth feared it might be for the last time. Carson had put on what he called a walking cast, shaped like a shoe at the bottom, firm and strong. But walking on it wasn't supposed to happen for another two weeks.
Nathan was casually moving back and forth between the table and the stove, getting dishes from the sideboard and handing forks and knives to Allie to set the table.
Elizabeth frowned at him with her displeased teacher face, and pointed to his foot. Nathan smiled and shrugged and came over with the juice. He gave her a warm kiss on the cheek and said, softly, "Good morning, Elizabeth." Then he kissed Jack on the top of his head, saying, "How'd you sleep, huh?" He made a face at Jack, who, predictably, laughed. Then he went back to get napkins for the table.
Elizabeth sighed. Well, I guess I have to pick my battles. I suppose I should be grateful he's lasted this long.
Rebecca tore off a small piece of a pancake and dipped it lightly in maple syrup. She walked it over and bent down to Jack saying, "Do you like pancakes?" When Jack opened his mouth, she popped it in and he chewed it and smiled. "Yum, yum!" Rebecca said, and drew her fingers tenderly down his cheek. She looked longingly at him and said to Elizabeth, "Can you believe how soft their skin is at this age? It's like heaven. You sleep okay?" Elizabeth nodded happily.
Then Rebecca just picked up where she left off with Nathan. "And how am I supposed to know who's who if I don't name them? Saying 'hey, you!' is not an effective way to call a goat, Nathan."
Nathan sighed loudly. "You have noticed that they all keep having babies, right? And that the pens are getting full?"
Charlie walked in the kitchen door, wiping his hands on a rag. His gray hair was peeking out from under a Stetson, and his tanned face broke into an easy smile. He'd obviously heard most of the conversation as he washed his hands outside the kitchen window. He slapped Nathan lightly on the arm. "Good luck, son."
Rebecca frowned and raised the spatula in the air just for good measure. "Don't you two gang up on me." She turned to Elizabeth and Allie. "Girls, I need reinforcements."
Allie looked up at Nathan and said, "I like the babies."
Nathan looked at Allie and raised an eyebrow. Then he looked at Elizabeth, daring her to join in. Elizabeth said, holding back a smile, "Babies are nice."
Nathan laughed. "Great." He put his arm around his mother and hugged her. "Okay, we'll expand the pens. The more the merrier."
They all had a delicious, very loud, robust, laughter-filled breakfast. Elizabeth thought this was as far as she could get from the dressed-up, sedate and elegant breakfasts with her father reading the newspaper over soft-boiled eggs and toast points in Hamilton.
She tried not to compare, because Elizabeth had loved her life growing up. But she hadn't known this existed. And as she watched Allie, full of joy and looking forward to a day of sunshine, fresh air, riding, and caring for small animals - she was envious.
And Elizabeth knew that this is how she wanted Jack to grow up.
Rebecca decided to make soup for lunch, so while Allie and Nathan washed dishes, she took Elizabeth and Jack out to the vegetable garden. It was bursting with cabbage, carrots, late lettuce, fragrant onions and peppers, spinach, radishes, turnips, potatoes, cucumbers, and bright red tomatoes on the vine.
"I wish the snow peas were ready," Rebecca said, "When Sarah and Nathan were little, we used to come out here to pick them for dinner and they never made it to the table. They were so full of sugar that it was like eating candy."
Rebecca had given Jack a little basket and Elizabeth wouldn't be surprised if it was one that Nathan and Sarah had used as children. Rebecca didn't seem to waste much.
Elizabeth said something to that effect, and Rebecca laughed. "My mother had a saying. Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without."
Elizabeth listened, smiling. She was grateful she'd brought her journal. She already had so much to write, and was planning to sit on the front porch when Jack napped today.
But for now, she was pointing out the ripe tomatoes for Jack to pull gently off the vine and put in his basket. At the same time, Elizabeth was being directed by Rebecca to pull onions and potatoes and to pick a full ripe cabbage.
Then there was washing, peeling, and chopping, and then getting the beef stock out of the icebox and putting it all together into the biggest pot Elizabeth had ever seen. Rebecca seemed to do all of it with no more effort than it took her to breathe.
The soup was simmering, Jack was playing happily with some of Nathan's childhood toys, Allie and Nathan were out feeding the animals, and Elizabeth and Rebecca sat down to a cup of tea to get off their feet for a while.
Rebecca looked at Elizabeth over the rim of her cup as she took a sip.
"You are the prettiest thing, Elizabeth," she said, "And add to that the fact that you don't have a silly, shallow, or mean bone in your body..."
Elizabeth had started blushing furiously at the first part of that statement, and was now beyond help. "Rebecca, stop!" she said, laughing.
Rebecca laughed too. "A simple thank you will do," she said. "Nathan is the same way. Can't take a compliment."
Elizabeth hid in her teacup. "We know that about each other. We're trying to learn to just say thank you. So," With some effort, Elizabeth looked up and met Rebecca's eyes. "Thank you."
"You're welcome. It's only that I'm grateful to you."
Elizabeth said, "What for? Right now I'm so grateful to be here. I don't think I've helped you nearly enough."
Rebecca paused for another sip of tea. "I've gotten a letter a week from Nathan for as long as I can remember. It's rare that he misses, and when he does he has a good reason. Just about a year ago his letters took a turn. Not a sharp one, but a long, wide one."
Rebecca leaned back in her chair, thinking. "It's hard to describe, but I saw colors there, where there had only been a kind of dull gray for a long time." She leaned forward and put her hand on Elizabeth's. "It took a while for me to figure out that it was you that got him to see the colors again."
Elizabeth smiled and said, softly, "He's done the same for me. He's such a good man, Rebecca. It's like... if he has a choice he'll always do the right thing. The thing that hurts the fewest people and helps the most."
Rebecca said, "And of course it warms a mother's heart to hear something like that." Something dark passed over her face. "Because if you could have seen him. Right after..."
Elizabeth nodded, "He's told me some of it. I can't even imagine the pain of what he went through."
"I should have been here," Rebecca said softly. "We just thought we had time..."
Now it was Elizabeth's turn to put her hand on Rebecca's. "In everything he's said to me, he's never said that."
"No," Rebecca said. "He would never have put blame on me. He'd already put it all on himself." She shook her head. "Dear Lord, how he blamed himself. You raise your children hoping they never have to face a great tragedy, and Nathan had two, one right after the other. Lost his father and his sister, and he idolized both."
"I know. But the important thing is that he still has you, and he sees joy in the world. I love that about him," Elizabeth said.
Rebecca smiled and her eyes danced. "Oh, I can see that, honey. It's in both of you and it's a beautiful thing to watch."
Elizabeth poured more tea from the pot to warm up her cup. "I saw twins being born once. They're six years old now. Carla thought she was just a little big," Elizabeth said, laughing. "The first one was born and we were all telling her what a good job she did, and she said, 'It's not over!'"
Rebecca laughed too. "I did the same thing! Sarah was smaller than Nathan and she just popped right out. Everyone's celebrating and I'm saying, 'Ummmm. I think there's another one!"
"The picture in my bedroom is wonderful. I told Nathan I can really see what they were like together," Elizabeth said.
"Those two..." Rebecca said, smiling. "They were like two sides of the same coin. Never apart. Sarah was three minutes older than Nathan and she liked to call him 'baby brother.' Used to drive him wild! They could compete over anything; who could eat faster, ride faster, hold their breath longer..." She shook her head. "But Lord they loved each other. Nathan said afterwards that he couldn't get her voice out of his head. He'd hear it and think she was right next to him."
"I was that way for a while, too," Elizabeth said."
"With Jack's father?" Rebecca asked.
"Yes."
"And he was a Mountie too?"
"Yes, and you probably know that he died on Mountie business," Elizabeth said, smiling sadly but looking Rebecca in the eye. "And I think I know your next question. No, I don't have the same fear with Nathan."
Rebecca nodded. "That was my next question. Why don't you?"
"They couldn't be more different, Rebecca. And the more I know Nathan, the more I think it may have to do with Sarah. He lost the person closest to him, and as a result, he has a different set of priorities than Jack did. I described it once to a good friend that Jack had his eyes on the stars and Nathan has his eyes on me."
Rebecca laughed. "He does, and that's a fact. I've never seen him this happy."
"And do you understand what I mean by that?" Elizabeth asked.
"I do," Rebecca said. "Nathan told me in a letter that he's not looking for anything but a post in Hope Valley. He's been very clear with his superiors about that, too." Rebecca winked. "That doesn't make me unhappy."
Rebecca stood up. "Time to get the meat going. Can you get that bowl out of the icebox, please?" Rebecca pulled down a cast iron pan and lit the fire on the stove. A little lard, some salt, and then the beef she had cut up earlier this morning.
Elizabeth was curious. "I feel so spoiled having our Mercantile just about five minutes from my door in Hope Valley. It's a two-hour round trip for you, isn't it? To the General Store in town?"
"Yes," Rebecca said, "But we don't go often. We used your arrival yesterday to buy flour, salt, baking powder, that sort of thing. Only things we don't grow or raise here."
Elizabeth frowned and inclined her head toward the pan. "But the beef?"
Rebecca laughed. "You heard that conversation this morning. Well, I think Charlie hides a few cows and pigs and chickens somewhere out on our acreage before I get a chance to name them. All I know is that every once in a while we have steaks and roasts and jerky and bones for soup." Rebecca looked up from stirring the pan, smiling. "I don't ask. But I do count the ones I can see, and he knows it!" She handed Elizabeth a large spoon. "Honey, can you spoon these into the pot, and then we're done for a while."
While she was doing that, Elizabeth said, "Charlie handles a lot around here, doesn't he?"
Rebecca nodded, "Oh, I can't imagine how I'd do it without him. I was hoping Nathan might..." She stopped herself. "No, I shouldn't say that, Elizabeth. Our children need to find their own lives, and he's found his. I know he loves this ranch, but it's not his life. And the last thing I want him to do is live something that's not his life."
Elizabeth finished and put down the pan. And then she hugged Rebecca. She couldn't stop herself. She pulled away and looked into those blue eyes that were so like Nathan's and said, "I'm so glad to know you, Rebecca. Now I can see why Nathan is such a good man."
Elizabeth asked for Rebecca's help to move the crib out to the porch so Jack could nap outside while she wrote. It was light and they did it easily.
Jack played quietly with his Mountie for a short while, listening to the birds in the trees around them, and then he nodded off to sleep.
She opened her journal and began to write.
This ranch has a peaceful life to it, as if it moves with nature rather than against it. The lowing of cows, scratching of chickens, the sound of a hammer repairing a fence, and even the faraway sound of the wind in the oak tree that guards the gravesites of those family members no longer here. All of it flows together into a place that sets my heart at rest. I love Hope Valley no less, but I will always be glad to return to this place.
"Is that anything I can read?" Nathan whispered, sitting down next to her on the porch swing. "You know how I love your writing." He had already stopped off to check on Jack sleeping soundly in the crib nearby. He never seemed to be able to pass Jack without a touch or a word.
Elizabeth smiled and handed him her journal, with a caveat. "Only this page, please."
Nathan offered up his crooked smile. "You know, for someone with less honor than a Mountie, that might be a tantalizing restriction."
Raising an eyebrow, she said softly, "I wouldn't let anyone with less honor than a Mountie even hold this journal."
She pointed to the page, and sat back and closed her eyes.
She knew that Nathan never read anything she wrote only once. It was a gift to her that he took the time to understand her meanings, to appreciate the flow of her words. It was a kind of love.
After a time, she felt his lips on her cheek. He said against her skin, "It's beautiful."
Elizabeth opened her eyes and turned to him. Nathan continued, "It means so much to me that you feel this way about the ranch." He put his hand on her face. "How is it that you can put my feelings into words, and I can't even verbalize them?"
She smiled. "It's easy. We feel the same."
Nathan handed her back the journal. "One page," he said. "Though I must admit I wonder sometimes what's on the rest of them."
Elizabeth laughed, looking down at the book in her hands. "Ramblings, tortured sentences, maybe a few rare gems."
She leaned into him and put her head on his shoulder. Nathan absentmindedly pushed the heel of his cast against the wood of the porch and set the swing moving back and forth slightly.
"I tried living here for a while," Nathan said. "And I do love the sounds, exactly as you describe them, and the flow of this ranch." He paused, framing his words. "But the isolation felt wrong to me. Like we're here on the earth for a reason and it's to be with other people. I just wasn't ready for those other people to only be Mom, Charlie and Allie. And it didn't feel like it was good for Allie. She needs friends, and interaction."
"I understand that completely, and you're right about Allie." She looked up at him. "And selfishly, I'm glad you chose to be with us in Hope Valley."
Nathan frowned, thinking.
"What is it?" Elizabeth asked.
"I just want your opinion on something, because you tend to see more than I do sometimes."
Intrigued, Elizabeth sat up. "Okay."
Nathan said, softly, "Do you think my mother and Charlie are... more than friends?"
Elizabeth smiled. "Would it bother you if they were?"
"No," he said. "It actually would ease my mind. I worry about her alone here."
In answer, Elizabeth pulled a strand of hair from her hair comb and drew it down over her temple. She took Nathan's hand and whispered, "What are you thinking when you do this?" She took his hand and used it to tuck the hair back, trailing his fingers over her skin.
Nathan smiled softly. She knew he would answer her honestly, because he always did. "I'm usually thinking how much I love you."
"Well, in the wagon on the way home yesterday, I saw Charlie do exactly that with a strand of your mother's hair."
"Oh," Nathan said. He nodded slowly. "Good. That's good. She deserves to be loved."
