Welcome back wonderful readers! I know its been a long time and trust me, I am just as ashamed of myself as you are. I have been loving greys lately and it has really got me in the mood to write again! And I mean, I defo have a LOT more time on my hands now. In case you have forgotten, a quick recap: Sloan is out of surgery, so is Mer, they are both not doing too great! Lexi is recovering and so is Derek and Cristina. ( I don't want to give away too much!) but Callie, Owen and Bailey all know something (wink wink) that they are desperately trying to keep from the others. Enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to ShonaLand

MS- No! NO, NOT YET! Meredith, stay with me, stay with me, Derek is coming! You are not dying in the middle of a forest for gods sake, just—i-i-I just need to stop this… Ok mark, you just need to stop this bleeding, hold it down, D-FIB, DR SLOAN, Meredith, Derek! Lexie! I need you I need you! Why is everything spinning? Meredith! She's bleeding Callie!

LG- I sit back in the visitors chair in the corner of the room, surrounded by the dull ache in my wrist, buzzing with pain, impossible to ignore. I must have been in here for at least two days now. I just sit here, staring at him, not sleeping, not eating, much to Jackson's dislike. Mark is lying there, with tens of wires and tubes poking in and out of his veins, his whole body bandaged up, hopelessly trying to recover. But the scariest part of it all are his pupils darting back and forth beneath his eyelids, the sweat dripping on his brow. It's as if he is in some never-ending nightmare he can't get out of. And all I can do is sit here. Waiting.

His body refuses to wake him up. He has been in a coma ever since his surgery. We all could have guessed this eventuality, considering it was spinal surgery. Whenever the brain or spine are involved, the risks are quadrupled. I guess that's why I was so drawn to it, Derek helped me so much with that. He invigorated my passion for the quadrupled risks, for the impossible cases, for the things that other doctors would give up on. Derek made me see those risks as opportunities. But right now, I was feeling everything but hopeful. I don't want the risks, I don't want an impossible case, I just want Mark to be ok. Is that so much to ask?

MB- Every second I can get, I am in the ICU. I walk around the circular nurses station looking into all of the rooms. A few weeks ago, this would have been a quick check, a fleeting look at the poor patients and their families sobbing over their frail bodies. But not today. Today, they are ALL my family. Today, I am the one sobbing over my family. But of course, not out loud. As I said, they are my family, my kids, I need to be strong for them.

Losing George years back shattered my heart into tiny pieces. While I've tried so hard, those pieces never quite came back together. There has always been those missing parts, seeing him everyday, his undoubted enthusiasm and positivity. Its something you don't realise you love and need until its gone. Until its ripped away from you in a heartbeat. I can't have that happen again, I know my heart won't come back together this time.

My eyes linger on Meredith's room which looks like a tropical jungle at the moment with flowers lined up on every surface available, cards stacked up to a foot high. For someone who never knew much love as a child, she certainly has it now. In excess. I've known her since she joined this hospital and watched her slowly find her people, all of whom have stuck with her like her biological family never did. They surround her now. Cristina who seems to have permanently located herself in Mer's room, much to the dislike of Callie, is sitting right next to Meredith with her IV propped next to her. Alex sits in the corner lounging on a sofa, but not with a bag of chips or a game. He just sits there half awake, staring at the ceiling. I know him. I know that this whole ordeal has been heart wrecking for him. April still refuses to let Derek out of his room to see Meredith since last time it did more damage than good, but at least she is in good hands.

The knowledge of her pregnancy has been crushing. Its swirling around in my head, spiralling, getting worse and worse. I know it will come out at some point, of course Mer deserves to know, everyone deserves to know. But it never feels like the right time. Everyone is being held together by tape and glue right now. One more thing on their plate and they will all fall apart once more. The wrecking thing about all of it is that it's unlikely she would be able to carry to term anyway.

The baby is now 11 weeks old, and no one knows about it. No one except the people in that OR. No one except the people who quite literally saw her code on the operating table, and they all know that a secret like this would be crushing for Mer. I honestly don't think she would last knowing that there is a baby in the mix, the pressure of keeping two people alive, not just herself. But I have to know if the baby is ok, while she may not know about it, the most I can do for her now is make sure that it is healthy. I suck in a large gulp of air, puff my chest and walk into the forest.

CY- Its been a painful two weeks, to say the least. Watching my person helplessly trying to grasp onto life is one of the most painful things I've ever had to deal with. Just sitting here, not being able to do anything is horrible. Usually, when there is an issue, when there is a problem, a scalpel will fix it. I can fix things. That's what I love about this job, I help people, I fix the problems that need solving. But this is hitting too close to home.

Sitting here staring at the unsteady rise and fall of Mer's chest is not fixing anything. I'm helpless… just like I was with my Dad… sitting here…. Helpless.

I'm awoken from my daze when Bailey comes striding into the room, sliding the glass door across. Breaking the bubble we have formed from the rest of the world. When she gets to the edge of Mers bed, she just stands there and stares at me, I have a feeling she thought I was asleep. And I also have a feeling, that she much rathered it would've stayed that way.

"Bailey…?" I mutter,

"Yes Yang?" she declares

"What are you doing here? Is Mer all ok? I thought all the bloodwork was done for today?"

"It is. I'm just…"

"What are you doing Miranda?" I said as she began rolling in some machinery to the edge of Mer's bed.

"I just thought an ultrasound would be useful, better being safe than sorry right…"

I knew she didn't need an ultrasound. Bailey isn't the kind of doctor to test 'better safe than sorry'. She is a practical woman as she is a practical doctor. This was very out of character. But what harm could it do. I feel helpless enough in the whole process, it would be foolish to stop the people who are actually trying to help. I lean back into my chair but the tension in my muscles isn't released. This doesn't seem right. I've had enough of not knowing, of being stuck in the dark.

Just as Miranda squeezes the gel onto Mer's frail, bruised stomach, Alex begins to rouse on the couch, out from his state of half-consciousness. "What's going on?" he mutters under a large exhale. I don't know…. Is what I'm thinking. But instead I out with, "Bailey is giving Mer an ultrasound". I look over to Bailey as I speak. Her eyes are trained on the monitor with a shock in her eyes. "Bailey…? What is it?"

"No-nothing, Cristina, all good here"

"Are you sure? You looked shocked?", she must think that I haven't noticed her slowly moving infront of the monitor by now,

"Bailey? You are lying to me, show me whats on the monitor" I wince in pain as I push myself up to look at the monitor she is obscuring. Her eyes have locked with mine. A severity in them I haven't seen since Denny.

"No Cristina. Please just sit back down, its nothing to worry about!"

We are interrupted by Alex, who has got up from the couch and is now standing by the monitor. I hear him utter "…oh my god" ,staring in disbelief "Mer is pregnant".

MB- Shit. I spin around only to see Karev staring at the monitor, revealing everything we have been trying to shield them from. This is easily worst-case scenario.

"Cristina- let me ex-", but she isn't staring at me anymore, not even Alex. She is staring at Mer. A conscious Mer. One that has just heard everything.

I take it back. This is the absolute worst-case scenario.

Wow! I hope you remembered what was going on -ish, and enjoyed this chapter. Please let me know if you want more? If not, I will try and work on a sort of ending, but I defo have a few more stories/twists/turns up my sleeve if you would want that? Anyway, thanks for coming back and plz like/follow/comment whatever xxx