Quarantine gives me enough time to work on both my personal projects and fanfic. So, a little caution before this chapter, this can be triggering. There's fluff, yes. But there is also some darker stuff happening here. Hope you enjoy it. As always, drop a review. That's my payment.
While on reviews, I'm oh so close to touching 200. Once that happens, I will give my awesome reviewers another shoutout.
Chapter 23
If asked, Katara would have described the kiss like a tsunami that swept her off her feet. Or perhaps it was like the spring-time thaw after a long winter. Or maybe like the first rain in parched dessert. The moment his lips touched hers, for Katara, nothing else mattered. Her world had shrunk into the tiny space where the two bodies met. Of their own accord, her arms went around his neck, while her lips opened up to his gentle coaxing.
Reading her implied request, Zuko moved his head a little to get a better access. He dipped his tongue inside her mouth and her very soul lit up, like the polar lights that danced on the skies above South Pole. Her nails dug into his back, as she pulled him closer hungrily. He made a sound between a moan and a growl and wound one of his hands through her hair, and the other around her waist. She responded with greeting his tongue with her own. She felt his tremble at that. He leaned against the wall, pulling her along with him. She followed, and leaned against his broad, muscular chest, loving every second of it.
The need for breath made them pull apart. Eyes still closed he touched his forehead to hers. The two of them, stood there for a few moments, gathering their bearings. Finally, he said in a raspy voice, "Wow. That was…"
Katara gave a small, breathless chuckle. She grabbed his shirt and burrowed her face into the crook of his neck, at a loss for words. His arms tightened around her, holding her so close that ideally, it should have been uncomfortable. But Katara would not have it any other way. In fact, she moved closer, hating even the air that was between them. He hummed in approval and ran his hands along her back.
"Katara," he breathed, "Agni! I want you. I want you so bad."
Her skin broke into goosebumps as heat pooled between her legs. But, on the heels of it came images. Her hands bound to the ground with stones she could not break. Her back being burned. Her biting her lips to the point of bleeding, to not scream and wake Kya sleeping someway off.
With a gasp, she jerked back. Tears flowed down her face as she no longer saw her room in Ember Island. The rose petals strewn on the bed was not visible to her. She did not see Zuko. She was back at Southern Air Temple, where she was burned. She was in Western Air Temple, trying to blood bend to save herself. At Northern Air Temple where she lay naked on the floor, bleeding and burned. Losing herself in Eastern Air Temple. She was caught in the mire, unable to find a way out.
Katara.
He was looking for her, his voice booming in anger.
Katara.
Louder and closer.
Katara.
His voice had another voice interlaced with it. Avatar state!
"Katara!" Someone shook her shoulders. She blinked and looked up at the horror-stricken face. So familiar. The one from her dreams where she sought refuge.
"Zuko?" she said, her voice shaking and pained.
"Katara! What happened to you?"
Her eyes widened as she raised a quivering hand to his face. "Y… You're real! Yo.. you're really here?"
"Yes, Katara. I'm right here," Zuko said, struggling to keep the sob out of his voice. But lost in her own pain, she did not catch on to it. He grabber her icy cold hands, kissed her palms and pressed them against his face. "See? I'm here. I'm real. He is gone. He can't hurt you anymore. He's not here."
"Not here?" she asked, her blue eyes pools of agony. "Are you sure?"
"Yes, Katara. I'm sure. He's dead."
"Dead. He's dead," she repeated, but Zuko doubted she understood the words. Her breathing was short and ragged, coming out in gasps. Slowly, he pulled her closer, making sure she could hear his heart. He concentrated on his breathing, keeping it deep and steady.
Do you see what you've done to her, Aang? His mind screamed. Oddly, he had a feeling that Aang knew it. In fact, a part of Zuko was certain that the monk was there with them at that moment. And he was crying. How and why he knew it, Zuko couldn't tell. In fact, he was sure that Aang was standing by the door, watching and lamenting. Zuko's hold around Katara tightened and his eyes darted over to the closed door. Nothing.
Giving himself a mental shake, Zuko turned his attention back to the woman in his arms. So small, so broken. He was determined to put her back, even if it took all his life to do so. Every time she cried in pain; her tears burned him. The wounds on her body had healed, but the ones on her mind were deep. But Zuko had never been one to give up. He would do whatever it took to make sure that she was reacquainted with her older, real self. This woman was his wife. His responsibility. His duty. His.
Katara lay in Zuko's bed, exhausted from the emotionally draining day. Zuko was downstairs. She could hear some clattering downstairs as someone dropped something on the floor, followed by a loud cursing. Lying motionless in her bed, she felt her lips draw into ghost of a smile. Zuko, for all his maturity and wisdom, was still the same person. Prone to random outbursts. Her thoughts drifted back to the kiss they had shared earlier.
Katara raised a hand to her lips and smiled, feeling pools of tears forming in her eyes. Zuko had made the first move. He had made it clear that he was interested in her. Not that she didn't know. She had seen desire in his eyes, on more than one occasion. But to actually feel it. Hear him say it. It had been euphoric. But, like everything good in her life, Aang's shadow had corrupted that moment as well.
"Why can't you leave me alone?" Katara screamed, clutching her hair. "Why can't I just be happy?"
"Katara?" Zuko's voice came from the door, startling her. "You're awake?"
Huh? I was asleep? Katara sat up and the world spun in front of her eyes. Instantly, Zuko was by her side, grabbing her arm and helping her lean against the headboard. She noticed a bowl of something in his other hand. "Easy, easy there. Don't go making sudden movements yet. You fainted a while ago."
"Fainted?"
"Yes," he said, sitting by her knees. "We were in your room and you had a panic attack. You fainted after that. Exhaustion, dehydration and stress, I believe. Since your bed still has those damned petals, I got you here. When I splashed water on your face, you got up and then promptly fell asleep. I broke the door in your room, though."
"Broke the door?" she asked, nonplussed.
He shrugged and handed her the bowl he had been holding. "Here, have some soup. Yes, I was holding you and the door was locked. So, I kicked it. What else could I do?"
Katara smiled accepting the bowl, "Toph would be proud."
"Don't tell her," Zuko groaned, "Knowing her, she would make this into a sleazy joke."
"You have a point," Katara said, hating the way her voice was sounding. She spooned some soup and sighed. "Wow. This is good. Refreshing. Where did you get this?"
"I made it," he replied.
Her jaw dropped. "You can cook?"
"Limited repertoire, but yes, I can whip up a meal. Uncle and I had to feed ourselves for months while we were in Earth Kingdom. Picked up a few things."
Katara's eyes narrowed, "And you never thought of helping me while you were with us?"
Zuko backpedaled immediately, "I… I'm not a very good cook and I have never cooked for so many people. And… I did help. I washed the clothes and the dishes, remember? Even chopped the vegetables sometimes."
"But never cooked," Katara said, fighting to keep the laughter in check. His expression of horror was too funny for her to maintain her angry façade.
"Hey, I cleaned even," he said emphatically. "Do you have any idea what it is like to clean Toph's room? Or worse still, clean up Sokka and Suki's post-coital room?"
At that, Katara burst out laughing. "Relax. I'm just teasing you."
"I know," he smiled. He cupped her face with a hand and said, "How are you feeling now?"
She leaned into his touch and nodded, not trusting her voice.
Zuko cleared his throat and said, "Katara, what I'm about to say might sound very strange. But… I think what I have to say might help you."
"What?"
He dropped his hand and laid it on the bed, such that his arm and body formed a canopy over her knees. "I think… Aang regrets what he did."
Katara's lips thinned as anger and hurt swirled in her. "You can't possibly know that!"
"I know. I know."
"No, you don't, Zuko!" she screamed, tears streaming from her eyes. "You don't know. You cannot know it. He has taken everything from me. Every good memory, every happiness, everything that I could treasure, he has snatched it from me. Now you tell me he regrets it? How could you even say that?"
"I don't know how I know it," Zuko said, his face scrunched in concentration, "I just know that he really does regret it. I… I almost feel like he is here, somewhere."
Katara's voice was cold as ice as she raised her brows and said, "He is here you say? Well then, I have a message for him. Aang, you can take your regret and shove it up your ass!"
With that Katara slapped the soup bowl into Zuko's hand and got off the bed. Or tried to. Her feet, though, wouldn't support her weight and she tumbled. But like always, Zuko was there, holding her hand to steady her. He lowered her to the bed again and put the soup bowl on the bedside table.
"I'm sorry," he said. "This anger. This panic. I brought it on, didn't I?"
For the first time, Katara realized how her actions might have looked to him. Fresh tears leaked from her eyes and she threw her arms around him, burying her face into his chest. "No, Zuko. I am sorry. I… I panicked. It's not your fault."
He patted her back slightly, "It is. To a certain extent. I should have known you are not ready."
