So like, remember how I updated this a year later and felt bad?
Well to be honest, I forgot all about this gem. And I do feel very bad because I've still received reviews! Life got crazy, I grew up, etc.
But hey, I just went through probably one of the worst break ups ever (jk it was really nice and mutual or whatever) but I'm sad and need a creative outlet and need to revert back to my 9th grade self for a second because my therapist says I need to have more of a fuck it attitude.
That may have been too personal, so we'll just move on to the final chapter: in which a mature Kisilee somehow manages to figure out what the hell her 15 year old self was thinking for the end of this story.
Here we go.
Annie POV
I walked quietly through my town, too afraid to go home.
I didn't want to go back to anything that reminded me that he wasn't in my life anymore. God, I couldn't even say his name in my damn inner monologues.
I was tired. I was tired of waiting, tired of obligation, tired of desperately trying to hold on to something that wasn't there anymore.
Even if he somehow woke up, I knew that I couldn't keep waiting for him to come back to me. It had been too much- the Games, the morphing addiction, the dying. Of course most of this wasn't his fault, and that's okay. But the torment of being so utterly powerless when he's gone is too much to bare.
I kicked a rock down the road that was barren. So many people had left to go to any District they so pleased, that hardly had ever stayed in District 4. They'd come back, but for now, it was everyone else's time for adventure. But what about my adventure?
I looked at my stomach, wanting to feel a connection there too. But as my hope that Finnick would wake up for me waned, my connection with my unborn child followed suit. I knew I would love being a mother, but none of what had happened felt real. None of it.
I missed him so much, but I had missed him for much longer than just the moment where I... killed him. I killed him.
There weren't any tears left. The ache I felt in my chest just grew, but I was used to the watered down feeling. It was like I had been slowly drowning for months on end, but now I was really feeling the influx of water in my lungs.
The night time felt very peaceful and calm, and I just decided to sit on the edge of the dock and watch the sparkles of the ocean. Nature was much more beautiful and simpler than human relationships, and I preferred it sometimes. The water was dark and mysterious and I lost myself in its simplicity.
I say there until the sun came up, watching how the colors made the water change and flit and grow to a splendor I had only been able to feel from another person's eyes. Thank god I could get that feeling again, even if it felt a little more artificial.
Finnick POV
I awoke to 10 doctors surrounding my bed, one desperately pounding on my chest. I screamed and they immediately backed away as I instinctively thrashed around from the pain.
Searing pain throughout my whole body, weird skin I did not recognize, a headache like no other, and at least two cracked ribs from the CPR. But I laughed because at least I could feel again! I could be awake and aware of my whole life and I could finally get back to the love of life!
The love of my life I had been tormenting for 3 months straight. I sat back down on the bed as the doctors began to rush around me again, poking and prodding.
My mind went through all of the one-sided conversations, all of the promises I had broken to her by not being there for her.
Then I remembered- she was pregnant. Evermore important to be there, even more important to be there for her to care for her to love her to hold her to support her to BE THERE AND I WASNT I HAD TO GET TO HER IMMEDIATELY
I pushed the doctors away from me trusting that enough had healed in 3 fucking months and tried to run out of there but immediately fell on my ass. I hadn't used my legs in over 3 months and they were stiff- the new tight skin didn't help either.
The doctors helped me up and on my insistence helped me get out of there through the use of a wheelchair. I had to wheel around town with a fucking wheelchair in order to find her, which really set me back a few hours since I went to all the places she frequented first.
"It's okay", her words dug deep into my thoughts as I desperately tried to find her. It wasn't okay, Annie.
I wondered if she would still take me back after all of this after all I had put her through god she shouldn't be with me she shouldn't put up with this. I stopped looking then and just decided to wheel down the dock since it was easier and I knew the sun would rise soon. Watching the sunrise was one of my favorite activities, especially since it was one of the few times in the world I could be alone and think.
I was wheeling down the boardwalk when I saw her.
And I just stopped. She was pregnant, she really was. With my child. I couldn't believe it.
She glowed separate from the oncoming sun. She was radiant and beautiful and alone. I wanted to keep that picture of her in my mind forever.
I never wanted her to be alone like that again. Maybe she was happier that way, but damn it, I couldn't take that. And I didn't truly believe it.
I was about to roll over when those green eyes finally looked at me.
Annie POV
I heard creaking on the dock shortly before sunrise, but I didn't look over. I was too afraid it was who I had hoped and dreaded these past months.
It wasn't until the sun was halfway above the ocean that I turned.
There he was, staring at me. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't move or even blink. I felt nothing because if I felt anything, I felt I would die.
All I could do was beckon him to come over with a slight head tilt, and then I went back to watching the ocean.
I heard his wheelchair creep toward me and then some fumbles footsteps before he sat down beside me.
We sat in silence for a while before either of us moved.
Finnick POV
I would say her reaction was what I was most afraid of, but honestly the worst one would have been where she pushed me into the ocean. So it was better than nothing.
All I could do was sit beside her. What was there to say? We had gone through too much in one life time, mostly from things out of each other's control, but it was too much. Was it because of each other?
No. It was because of each other that either of us was still alive. That was the only reason either of us could sit here, watching the sun rise, with our child growing inside her. It was too perfect to mess up with words.
Annie POV
As I looked forward, I felt him come closer until his leg was touching mine. I was still stiff, not wanting to give in but desperately wanting to at the same time.
Slowly, his hand moved and I was begging him not to try to grab my hand or beg for me to say something, but instead, he reached over and lightly put his hand on my belly.
His fingers were only grazing the fabric over it and I could tell he was trying to be careful. Still staring out at sea, I put my hand on his and put it underneath my shirt so he could feel our baby more clearly.
I finally turned to him then and noticed his tears. When he saw me looking at him, they then turned to enormous sobs. His hand not on my stomach gripped the deck, and I grabbed it and move it over my shoulder.
He sobbed quietly into my hair as I leaned into him, our hands slowly caressing our baby, watching the sunrise over the ocean.
And I knew, somehow, we'd survive.
