'Ello there (General Kenobi), it's me, ya girl. Yes, new chapter, no, still bad time-management. Maybe this Chapter will make up for that, though :)
Thanks again to my awesome friend DeoraNemain for proofreading and making my bad uploading-schedule into a meme slowly but surely.

Anyway, enjoy!

Chapter 25 - Reason


"Well I have brittle bones it seems
I bite my tongue and I torch my dreams
Have a little voice to speak with
And a mind of thoughts and secrets
Things cannot be reversed, we learn from the times we are cursed
Things cannot be reversed, learn from the ones we fear the worst"

Daughter, 'Candles'


*Clack*

Bella had always liked the sound her bedroom door made when she closed it behind her. It had a special charm to it, pleasant and unique. It completed the feeling of safety that washed over her once she entered, closed off from her family and all the problems that came with being a part of the ‚most noble house of Black' – courtesy of dozens of spells she'd cast over her room', obviously. The sound of her closing door had always given her a sense of calmness.

Now it was the last thing she heard before her massive scream tuned out everything else.

Her mind was on fire. She felt dizzy, nauseous and her heart couldn't stop beating, like it wanted to explode. Underneath, a grotesque feeling of excitement as soon as she remembered those intense eyes…

The scream turned high-pitched. One of her windows cracked.

After a few moments, her screams dissolved into heavy breathing, then finally sobbing. She curled up on her bed, tears constantly streaming down her face. Fingernails dug into her arms in an attempt to ground herself, but it didn't help. Wave after wave of different feelings washed over her, steadily exhausting her both emotionally and physically. If this went on, she would probably pass out in a short while.

„Miss Bellatrix? Is you not feeling alright?"

How often can I even forget that I have an elf now?

Pavi peeped around a corner of her room, looking at his new mistress anxiously, the candlelight glistened in his round, watery eyes.

For the moment, she couldn't do anything but stare at him.

How do I explain the situation to an elf, when I don't understand it myself?

They had spent the better part of the evening with that man. He referred to himself as ‚Lord Voldemort' but preferred to be called ‚The Dark Lord', even demanded it - as though no living creature should be allowed to speak his full name.
The obvious awe her father and the Lestranges held for him would've been ridiculous if she hadn't seen him in the flesh. Felt his presence. The longer Bella stayed in his proximity, the more entranced she became by him, his charisma, his ambition, his intensity… to a point where she didn't feel like she was talking to a human anymore. Bella didn't know why exactly she felt like this, she just knew that these thoughts weren't meant to be insulting, but complimentary.

On top of that, he also showed explicit interest in her, more than in her father or any of the other attendants. Bella still shivered when she thought about the things he had told her, his deep and cold voice resonating in her mind.

Bellatrix…I have hopes for you…big hopes. There is so much more about you than a good school record…you deserve more. A place in this world where you can show your true potential. I am the one that can give this to you. Join me and become more powerful than you could ever imagine, helping me shape a new world. A better world.'

He had also made his opinion about muggle borns explicitly clear.

Those without magical abilities are beneath those with magical powers. We have known this for centuries, that is superiority by simple logic. The purity of blood becomes stronger with every passing generation, while others dare to dilute this magical gift by getting involved with the unworthy.'

And he concluded everything with one big proposal.

We have known about the superiority of pure blood for a very long time. Yet still, Mudbloods flood our schools and companies, sullying the image of proper wizards and witches. I aim to stop those developments, return wizarding society to its traditional roots and into a future that nurtures those of true worth. So, I direct this offer to all of you. Join me, become part of a glorious and splendid future where the purity of blood will hold its rightful place again.'

Who would've thought that her engagement wouldn't be the most important thing that would happen that night?

Her father, as well as Rodolphus' father, were sold instantly. They obviously had been in contact for a while, just now making them officially followers of the so called ‚Dark Lord'. Her mother didn't have much of a reaction as always, just quietly staring into the fire, voicing her agreement whenever necessary or appropriate. Rodolphus seemed to be thrilled about the idea as well, but Bella could tell how much it irked him that the ‚Dark Lord' had far more interest in his future wife than himself. Bella couldn't care less what the dunce thought about anything though. She had bigger fish to fry.

Working out the complex set of emotions she was feeling right now, for example. Her mind kept her prisoner in this room together with her parents, her future husband, and the man who wanted to change the destiny of the whole of magical Britain.

A shuffle and a quiet squeak threw her back into the privacy of her room. She wasn't there anymore, all of their guests had left and her parents had retreated for the night. Now she was just staring at an overly anxious house elf.

„Sorry Pavi…I don't feel so well right now. It's really complicated… Could you leave me alone for a while?"

„Okay, Pavi will do this…please tell me if there is anything else you want Pavi to do." After a hollow nod, Pavi slowly took his leave, glancing back at Bella a couple times in concern.

Then she was alone. The complete silence of the room didn't mirror the crescendo of her screaming mind.

Her thoughts kept circling around this man. She couldn't deny the strange emotions that arose when she thought about him, the way he talked, looked at her…

She shivered again. Was this truly what she feared it was? Did she feel attracted to him? It couldn't be. When she remembered how he talked about pureblood superiority she wanted to vomit with disgust. How easily the other people in the room were swayed by his pretty words. Did this work with her as well? It couldn't be. She wasn't like that anymore. Probably never had been. She did accept the truth about purebloods and muggleborn, she didn't agree with what he had told them in the slightest. Why was she still having these feelings when she thought about him then? There was anger, fear, even disgust, alright. But nonetheless she also felt admiration, happiness and…what else? She almost got dizzy from the onslaught of different emotions again.

She groaned, clenching her head, trying to form a coherent thought.

How was she ever going to solve this?!

Solve it by breaking it down into its smallest parts, so you can look through it logically. The parts you think are paradoxical will actually make sense if you look at them from another perspective, and they lose their impenetrability.'

Bella suddenly remembered something Jean had told her about a particularly difficult exercise in arithmancy. She always pointed out that Bella sometimes got too impatient when solving the more complex tasks they were given, missing out on the little details that would change the outcome completely. Maybe Jean was right. She certainly was regarding arithmancy. It wouldn't help to just follow her emotions. Breaking everything down and considering every aspect might just bring some clarity into this, even if she was scared, so scared of the outcome. What if she found out she was a terrible person? Being interested in someone despite all of his supremacist tendencies, actively trying to…stop it Bellatrix. Focus!

She lay on her bed, facing upwards. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, suppressing her instincts to just go overboard on her conflicting emotions, rather than facing them. She needed to look through every little aspect, breaking it down in its smallest parts to get to a solution she maybe did not see at the moment.

Even if they almost never failed her, she didn't need her instincts right now. She needed reason.

So, Bellatrix reasoned. What do I know so far?

She became engaged today, to Rodolphus Lestrange. Right after graduation she would have to marry him. Where would it go from there? If she believed this ‚Dark Lord' who not only had plans for her, but the whole of Britain, her path was already laid out for her. A glorious future as one of his loyal lieutenants, to call time on a new era for humanity.

So far so good. What do I feel about all of this?

First there was her soon-to-be-husband. Bella didn't need to think long about this, it was pretty obvious to her that she despised the idea of marrying him with every fibre of her being. She wasn't able to even imagine how she'd live with him for the rest of her life.

Okay, so there's that. An unimaginable marriage which had just been approved by all of her family. Splendid.

What was next? The proposals of the ‚Dark Lord' regarding their future. Since Bella entered Hogwarts she had always felt unchallenged by everything she did. There was no competition, there simply was no one who was comparable. So a proposal of pursuing her true worth did sound tempting, no sense in lying to herself. Had she been told this 6 months ago, she probably wouldn't have even hesitated. Sure, there always was the slight nagging in the back of her head that reminded her of the discrepancies in the stories about muggle-borns, but she had learned to mute that voice over the years. So, in any other situation, she would've considered it an opportunity worth pursuing. Bella still felt a little relieved, if not even proud that, now, those statements and speeches did nothing but induce a feeling of aversion in her. If the Dark Lord said that she was the living evidence that blood purity equaled magical strength then she'd love him to explain the antithesis to his concept: Jean Gabor.

Bella thought this over and took the last statement back. She'd rather not have this man anywhere near Jean. Ever.

So, to summarise, she didn't agree with his worldview or anything he wanted to use her for in the future. So then, why did she feel this attraction towards him? She would love to, but she couldn't deny it. There was just something about him, despite his plans for her future, she felt mesmerised by him. This realisation made her feel more horrible than anything else. How could she feel such interest in a man who actively told her all those horrible things? What kind of attraction, which form of interest was it, even? It all felt so weird to her. How would she ever be able to look Jean in the eyes again? She took a deep breath. Look deeper. There has to be something. ‚What kind of attraction, which form of interest is it, even?' You don't like it, but this is the question you need to ask. It all feels so weird. It's so conflicting. It's a wonder actually that She didn't show up by now-

Her eyes opened, wide. This. This was it. The small detail she missed because her instincts didn't let her focus on it.

Why didn't She try anything, She, who always tried to take every chance to win Bella's body over to cause mayhem. Why was she the most silent, the most disconnected from Bella she'd been in years?

Interesting. Suspicious.

This was a weird problem now. All Bella had ever done was try to close herself off from her, so actively wanting to connect with her more just felt wrong on all levels. Nonetheless, she had to get to the bottom of this. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the part of her mind she had only ever tried to shut out. It felt weird, almost like walking around in the dark, only a matchstick in your hand, searching for a candle that, the moment you ignite it, would clear up the darkness around you.

It was difficult. She was actively trying to close herself off, trying to hide the metaphorical candle. Bella could feel it…but why? Bella was in charge right now, though, so she didn't let Her slip away so easily. Oh, it took a while, it was trial and error, she just lit another match and tried again. No doubt enraging the one in the defensive position even more. But Bella knew She couldn't close herself off forever, it was straining her, too. And then-

Bella gasped. It only lasted for a few seconds, but it was enough. The small whispers of affection and admiration she felt she held for that man just exploded into an unimaginable cacophony. It was as if somebody had exposed Bella to a harsh light for just a second. She still felt the flickering in her mind as she closed herself off quickly again. I guess she doesn't want to share this with me. And it made sense. Bella was certain she had just witnessed somebody else's love at first sight. How peculiar, witnessing a love that wasn't hers but distantly felt like it. Just that this someone existed in her mind and the object of her interest was a dark wizard of unmatched strength...

Nonetheless, Bella felt relief wash over herself in strong waves. Now that she had felt her emotions directly and not concealed through her poorly maintained barrier, she could distinguish between their feelings better. That strange attraction, it was the shadow of whatever form of love She had instantly felt for him. This also explained the mix of contradicting emotions inside her own mind.

If she concentrated, separating those intrusive emotions from her own real ones, the picture became clearer. He still was an impressive man, there was no doubt about this: highly intelligent, charismatic, and driven by his cause. But all Bella could actually feel within herself were those objective observations, otherwise just strong mistrust and even fear. Nonetheless, despite, or maybe because of the whole situation, Bella started to laugh. It wasn't herself, it was her who held those twisted feelings. She hadn't accidentally betrayed Jean with being bewitched by this very dangerous man. She still deserved to be with her, she still-…she…

Something in her brain clicked.

Oh. Oh.

Slowly but surely, her mind started to work again. She didn't even actively try it, it was just like solving a really easy puzzle that she just hadn't known she was solving before. The pieces were almost falling into their place themselves.

Her first source of relief wasn't that she maybe wasn't completely insane as she had feared about 10 minutes ago, but that she wouldn't have to feel bad - or rather, even worse (she was still shaming on the things she did when they first met) - towards Jean.

She trusted her more than anyone else, she chose to speak to the Ravenclaw about her inner conflict and not to her own sisters. She often considered how Jean would act in a certain situation. Had she not just used her indirect help to solve a major problem?

She took her flying. She played music for her on a regular basis, despite having done it in solitude for years. They were trying to solve the mystery of Agnes Waterhouse together, which seemed to get more complex and dangerous with every step they took. If social status wasn't a hindrance, without a reason to hide their friendship, they probably would be even more inseparable.

Jean's voice managed to reach her when she was so far gone that She was able to take over control completely.

The thing that caused her the most distress though, were the similarities. It was a forthright onslaught of emotions. She fell hard and immediately. There was no doubt about this.

It had been slower for Bellatrix, unrecognisable even, or she wouldn't have needed so long to figure it out. But it was there. Now that the realisation had hit her, she couldn't look away from it. The kind of feeling she got when she thought about Jean, comparing it to what she had felt through her right now…

Oh no. This was real, was it? Why didn't she realise this sooner? Was this even possible? For so long she thought herself to be immune to such feelings and suddenly she had felt an epiphany of love twice in a single day?!

'Just because the solution isn't the most objective one, you can't really argue against a working procedure of solution, can you?'

This was a decidedly unhelpful moment for her inner voice to sound like Jean again.

And Bella knew why she struggled against this realisation, why she hadn't realised this sooner. It could…or rather, would mean change. An immediate one. All the things that happened tonight had led her to this. It was a decision that she would have to make at some point, she'd known that since she met Jean. This tiny piece of clarity felt like the shock to her core that finally set the avalanche off. In the beginning, it all looked so difficult, but Jean was right. If you break down everything into their smallest parts, the solution becomes evident.

She didn't want to marry Rodolphus.
She couldn't stay in a place that rationalised pureblood supremacy, she simply did not believe in it.
She would stay as far from the self proclaimed ‚Dark Lord' as possible.
She also happened to be in love with her best friend.

Everything that would come now would be difficult. There was no doubt about this. But at the same time, it also was just as bloody simple. She took another deep breath, finally being able to see the new path that had opened up in front of her.

There was a lot to think about, a lot to plan and calculate. Her mind was on fire again, but it was directed. Focussed. For the moment, Bella allowed herself a small smile. There was someone she needed to inform about her decision before she did anything else.

So she grabbed the charmed coin and lifted her wand -

A quiet knock at the door startled her, she quickly hid her wand and her coin under her blankets.

„Yes?"

„Miss Bellatrix…can Pavi come in?"

She exhaled, slowly relaxing.

„Sure, come in. What is it, Pavi?"

The door opened and the young Elf came in, holding a tablet which held a large, steaming cup on it.

„I know that Miss didn't want to be bothered right now, but…Pavi is sorry but Miss was so sad so Pavi made you hot cocoa. Pavi once tried a bit and it was the tastiest thing he ever had…it is sweet and makes your tummy feel warm. Maybe Miss would feel better with a cup of cocoa? Pavi is sorry if this was wrong."

While he was talking nervously, Bella developed a wide smile.

„No…thank you, Pavi, this is perfect. That was very, thoughtful, really." His eyes lit up and he waddled over towards her bed to put the cup down next to it on the bed stand. Bella flicked her wand and a second cup emerged on the tablet. „Would you like to share?"

Pavi's eyes went wide. „Is…is this really okay?" The conflict in his eyes was evident again.

Bella nodded. „I'd really like to share with you, Pavi. Please, do me the favor."

„Pavi…Pavi would love to do you a favour, Miss…Bellatrix." He said, puffing his small chest. Cute. So, with another flick, half of the brown, sugary fluid changed location into the other cup. Before taking a sip from it though, Bella waved her wand for a third time. Now towards the coin she had fished back from under her blankets again, to finally send the message she was so keen on getting through to her.

I am out.'


I am out.'

„McGonagall told us that the most important part of transfiguring fluids is to understand its properties, right?"

„Mmmh…"

I am out.'

Out of what? Out of where?

„I agree with her, I think it's not specific enough, is it? Like, are we talking consistency, amount…or what? What about temperature?"

„Uuh-huh."

Why didn't she answer? ‚What do you mean?!' is a pretty simple question…'

„And if you look through your copy of ‚Transfiguring for experts' you'll see-„

Did that mean Bella wouldn't come back? What was she doing?! Should I write another message back?

„-that there is a special type of manticore that is a mix out of human, scorpion and dandelion whose head looks just like a giant yellow flower."

„Totally."

Aaaaaaargh! What's with her?!'

Only the overly loud ‚thud' which Hailey closed one of her books with could finally gather Hermione's attention. She hadn't heard a single word of what Dee had told her until now and she just looked at her, confused. The three Ravenclaws were supposed to study right now, but Hermione apparently had only stared at the same page of her schoolbook for a while now.

„Uh…what?"

Dee and Hailey looked at each other, then back at Hermione.

„Damn Jean, what is up with you? For an hour now you behaved like you've seen…well, not a ghost, that is hardly special, but you know what I mean. What's going on?" Hailey said, furrowing her brows. „It's not like you to space out during homework. You're not a Gryffindor."

Bellatrix Black, the girl you both are afraid of, happens to be my best friend in this school and for obvious reasons I never told you about it. Well, she's at home now to meet her fiancé - not having known in advance who that would be, I might add - and an ‚important man' who will try to destroy the wizarding world as we know it in the future. She'll become one of his greatest weapons, becoming a murderess before the age of 20. She doesn't know that, though. No one here really does. Only I know that because I'm from the future, where I've been trying to prevent the destruction of our society for years now. Apart from that, however, she randomly wrote to me via our secret coin-messaging-system that ‚she's out'. I have no clue what she means by that and it's driving me crazy because what should I do if I never see her again?! So excuse me if I was screaming internally for the last hour since I'm fighting off a heart attack.'

„Nothing?"

They shared a look again.

„Okay Jean…you know we won't pry, so I'll let that sad excuse for an excuse slide. But still: you look really unwell and we're worried about you." Hailey said calmly, as if to not scare the girl in front of her.

„No, really, I'm just-„

While she was talking, she felt the coin in her pocket heat up again.

„She stood up suddenly, making Dee and Hailey flinch and stare at her wide-eyed."

„I…ok I don't feel well and-„

„Just go, seriously. We won't ask." Dee said, one eyebrow raised and as disbelieving as she could get, but she didn't ask anything further as well. Hailey just made a gesture somewhere between a shrug and a nod.

„Thanks." No reason in pretending right now. She hurried towards their bedroom, closing the door behind her in the same second she scanned the coin for its message.

I'm leaving now. Meet me at the usual place in an hour.

Immediately she opened the door again, storming towards the exit of the common room.

She could imagine the faces of her friends, but she didn't care at this point.

It wasn't like she needed to go there right now. Obviously she knew Bella was referring to the Quire Room, but it wasn't like she needed an hour to get there. No, Jean needed time to think, how to face Bella now.

What would she tell her? That she was engaged? Yes, obviously she is. She went there to specifically talk about this and meet her fiancé. I even know who he is, have known it for years. This is the only logical outcome there is. Why is it I still feel so nervous about this, for god's sake?

Also, Bella had told her about an ‚important man' she was going to meet.

Hermione knew who that was as well…it could only be one person. They never knew when the exact moment was that Voldemort started to recruit the families. But it made sense. With the new generation of purebloods soon leaving Hogwarts, and an approaching war none of them knew about…this made the most sense.

So when I obviously know what she wants to tell me, why do I hate this so much?

But this wasn't even a real question. Hermione knew why she hated the future outcome.

She didn't want Bella to have the future she knew the Slytherin would get. Not since she's got to meet the girl. The funny, intelligent, cheeky, and wonderful girl she's had so many adventures with. At times she even forgot that they weren't just normal classmates, weren't meant to stay together here. There was no doubt that Bellatrix Black didn't deserve any of what was about to happen to her.

Hermione had been here for four months already, a third of the time she got to spend in this time. There was still some time left, but…she knew this wasn't enough. Bella was special, she wanted her in her life for more than this short period, they've become too close to deny that. Not only for herself, but for Bella's sake as well.

The girl was too clever, too self-reflected to become the person Hermione knew from all the newspaper-articles. She felt sick every time she thought about what must've happened to her. It was easier to ignore when they just spent time together, but with her gone to take her first steps in that kind of life, it became more difficult. Also, seeing her snap like that for the first time...

Hermione realised that her biggest fear would very surely become reality: the Bella she knew would, at some point, succumb to her, she who represented the future Bellatrix Lestrange so much. Would Bella become a prisoner in her own mind, long before she actually would go to Azkaban?

Her nails dug into her arms, hugging herself from a shiver that had nothing to do with the chill of the room.

I'm just happy she is still coming back…

After what felt like a lifetime of pacing through the room, the door finally opened with a small squeak.

A curly mop of black hair peeked in, searching for another figure in the dim light. When she saw her, the witch entered fully. Full lips showing a small smile.

„Jean."

„Bella!"

Hermione rushed towards the other girl who merely had the time to close the door behind her before she was engulfed in a bone crushing hug. The small ‚oof' the witch let out didn't prevent Hermione from hugging her even tighter, as if to physically make sure she was here and wouldn't leave again in a second.

„I am so happy that you're back…what did…what…are you okay?"

Hermione took in Bella's form for the first time. She looked rigid. There was also a look in her eyes…one she had not seen in a long time. Was she nervous?

„Well… yes and no. It's complicated."

Hermione's guts turned to ice. This was it, wasn't it? She would now tell her about Voldemort, the Death Eaters, the plan she would be a part of. Would she leave? Focus, Hermione. On anything but that. „I…I see. But…you're not hurt, right?" When Bella failed to answer in less than three seconds, Hermione took it to herself to search Bella for injuries, touching her face, looking her over for obvious things like blood stains and missing body parts. Only when in her antics, she made to discard the robe of the other witch, did she shove her away a little, curiously blushing now.

„I'm not hurt! It's just…a lot happened. I need a moment." She said through gritted teeth.

Hermione, despite burning with curiosity, nodded. „Want to sit down?"

Bellatrix didn't need to be asked twice, she simply slid down the wall next to the door towards the stony ground. Hermione took a reluctant seat next to her. She couldn't bear not having some sort of contact with the other girl so she decided on simply playing with the hem of her sleeve.

She suddenly wasn't able to look Bella in the eyes anymore. Too scared of what the witch would tell her right now. How much of what they had would change immediately. She's nervous because she knows I'll hate the news she's going to tell me…

Bella, on the other side, wasn't too keen on looking directly at her as well, which only confirmed Hermione's suspicions even more. Hermione though, couldn't do much besides wait for what the other witch would have to say.

„So…I'm engaged now. To a complete idiot as well."

Even if she knew it was coming, it was a punch in her guts. „…Oh."

„Yeah." Bellatrix continued, almost void of emotion. „Also, there is that new, powerful wizard my family seems ecstatic on following into some self-proclaimed pureblood-elite-bullshit. He calls himself ‚Lord Voldemort'." Wants to change the whole of Britain, as he says.

The next punch. Hermione did her best to hide the flinch she felt going through her body.

„Oh. Okay"

„He also wants me by my side in this thing he is planning. As a lieutenant. He's laid out some sort of bright and awesome future for me."

The third punch was the worst. That was it. Everything about Bella's future she knew was right there, decided in only one evening. Or rather, no, probably decided since the day she was born. If she just wasn't a god forsaken pureblood all of this wouldn't have had to happen, she could be free.

Her fingers clenched around Bella's robe.

„Oh…and…what is going to happen now? What is going to happen with your family?"

„I don't know. It won't be easy for them, I guess. But the anger will drown out the sadness, no doubt." Bella said with a bitter voice, still not looking at Jean.

Hermione had started looking directly at her. „Sorry, what? Why would they be angry at you?"

Now Bella's head shifted, looking at her confused. „I already told you, didn't I? Isn't it kind of obvious?

Hermione's confused face equaled Bellatrix's now. „Huh? What do you mean?"

„I'm out."

„You're…wait, what?"

„Well, out of…everything this pureblood-bullshit contains. Today was the final straw."

She looked into the Ravenclaw's face who's mouth and eyes were wide open.

„What did you think I meant? I thought it was obvious? I thought your question was meant to ask for details, so I thought it was easier to explain everything to you the next time we saw each other." She looked at Jean suspiciously. „You couldn't possibly think I meant I'd be ‚out' of Hogwarts or something equally delusional, right?"

„What…I…I didn't know! This could've meant anything! What if that… strange guy convinced you somehow and you would've gone away with him? What if your fiancé wasn't so bad and… I don't know, you got married on the spot? What if I'd never see you again?" She realised herself how ridiculous she sounded so the last part became more of a mumble than an outraged statement.

Now it was Bella's turn to look at her gaping, until it formed into a smile.

„That's not gonna happen. How could I be swayed by a talk about blood supremacy that I find so ridiculous, thanks to you?"

„Yeah, I know, but…"

„Nothing but." Bella rolled her eyes. „In addition, my ‚fiancé' is a total prick and the last thing on my wishlist is to ever marry him. And what this so called ‚Dark Lord' concerns…"

She looked Hermione dead in the eyes for the first time this evening.

„I'd rather be with an equal than have a master above me." She held the gaze for a few seconds, almost as if Bella wanted to get something else through to Hermione.

„I…see." Hermione manages to say. She had a big lump in her throat. When was the last time that she knew exactly how to feel?

„Not what She thought, though."

This stopped Hermione's thoughts from spiraling away. „Come again?"

Bella sighed. This seemed to be a more awkward part of this conversation. „Well, She was more than smitten with him. Scared me to death at first, she wasn't really good at concealing her feelings, it mixed with my own. Took a while to figure this out, but I …uuh, looked deep into myself - and her - so I figured …stuff out. Anyway, she seems more or less in love with him."

„She…she's capable of love?" Hermione asked, stunned. Somehow it made sense, didn't it? The Bellatrix Lestrange she knew only knew to serve her Lord. That twisted version of Bella's, always lurking in the shadows of her mind, could feel love. Even if it was a perverse one, an obsessed and unhealthy one. What to make of it?

„It seems so. But as long as she doesn't try to girlcrush over him with me, then I don't really care.

She has become weaker I guess. She can't control herself as well as before thanks to that, so I won't complain."

"Don't underestimate her, though." Hermione warned. „Love is a powerful source of magic, it makes one stronger and capable of things beyond our comprehension." Bella looked a little confused about how much she was stressing this point.

„Uhm…if you say so? She's going to be pissed anyway, but that's all the more reason to say it. I'm out."

„What does that even mean? Like, exactly? What are you going to do?"

Bella sighed. „Seriously? I don't really know, it's all a little uncertain right now, as you can imagine. There probably won't be any major changes until the end of the year, since I don't plan to go back there before I finish school. Well, now I'll just go to to London with the Hogwarts-Express at the end of the year, get enough money from my Gringotts bank account and start a new life."

„But won't your family search for you? And…Lord Voldemort?"

Mhhh…Bellatrix mused. „Fair point. Maybe I should just leave the country. Somewhere my family and this so-called Lord can never find me. Somewhere nobody has heard of me or my family's reputation…that would be nice." She sighed, a sad smile on her face. „I'll miss my sisters, though. There's no way they wouldn't mark me as a blood traitor, and, at the least, disown me and kick me out of the family. But they'd probably search for me to compensate for the shame I brought over them as their oldest child. I don't really want to imagine how they'd try that. You're right, moving to another country might be the best idea."

„I doubt Andy would break off contact with you over this." Hermione said sincerely. She pressed further: „You should definitely talk to her about this."

Bella contemplated this for a short while, then nodded. „You're right. Cissy might be a little young to understand the situation…but I get the feeling that she's rather more made for this life than me or Andy. Yeah, I'll have to talk to Andy."

„Maybe she'll do something similar? She has more or less the same thoughts about everything as you." Hermione said, hiding her knowledge of the future behind a mere guess.

„Yeah, maybe. Maybe not." Bella shrugged. „She'll have to make this decision for herself." She looked down. „This man…this Lord Voldemort, he's dangerous, you know? I could tell the second I saw him. I would be scared to have regular contact with someone still close to him in case he would…use them against me." A somber expression crossed her face. Then she locked eyes with Hermione again.

„Well, nobody said this would be easy. Still, I couldn't stay and with a good conscience help create this perverse vision of a future. If, in the end, staying away from my sisters is what I have to do to protect them, I'll definitely do it. So, thank you. Without you, I never could've made this decision."

While Hermione technically knew this, the statement still stunned her. It set in perspective the time she'd spent here.

What did I do? Did I really prevent Bellatrix Black from becoming an infamous murderess in the future? Changed the timeline? What will the consequences be?

You're welcome." She said, mirroring the now smile on Bella's face.

While she wouldn't call this concern an ‚afterthought', it really didn't compare right now, couldn't compare to the relieved smile and look on Bella's face. As if the decision had lifted a great weight from her shoulders. She looked a little scared, but happier than Hermione had ever seen her. She'd seen a furious Bella, a cocky Bella, and even often a cheeky or excited Bella. But this raw form of sheer happiness moved something in Hermione. For another time she had yet again the urge to fly, together again with Bella in a situation exciting, yet calm. This is why, at least for a short time, she could put the concerns she had over the timeline-changes second and just enjoy the presence of the happy girl in front of her. Only a sheepish clearing of Bella's throat brought her back from her daydream, and made her realise she had been staring at Bella the whole time, faces awfully close. „Uhm…what did you say?"

„I need a favour."


A/N:

roxyroxas1313: Yeah, that also won't change :) I just need a shitload of time :D

Camino16: Haha, glad to hear the story is still enjoyed that much

Haydos007: Here you go. Well, the interest wasn't that big - which is understandable since I upload every four months or so right now - but just be assured that I don't intend to stop :)

readah0lic: Thank you so much for that comment, that means a lot :)

Lainverse: I always feel guilty when I read comments like yours: YES I intend to finish the story. But yes, it still might take a while as well^^

Guest: Hey, I can't really contact you, since you only have a guest-profile. If you're still interested in doing that, could you just send me a text to my inbox?

Marta967: 'Soon' is relative I guess, but here it is :D