It took until the clock read 2:44PM for any movement to happen in Ryder's room at all. After yet another emotionally-exhausting night, every pup and human was completely down for the count, with the several hours of sleep they had accrued only making a light impact on how tired they all were. And surprisingly, the first one to move was Jake, who carefully moved Everest off of him and slid off of the bed, quickly flipping the TV into standby mode for good measure. As he moved towards the door, he couldn't resist stealing a glance at the sleeping pile of pups and humans. Smiling warmly at how peaceful the group looked, Jake slunk off down the hall, leaving the group behind him.
A few minutes later, the rest of the group slowly started coming to. Carlos roused himself in time to see the pups all knocked out around him for a couple of minutes, before the furry bundle in his arms stirred and woke.
"Carlos… Buenos días..." Tracker mumbled sleepily.
"Morning, Tracker..." Carlos replied quietly, before glancing over at Ryder.
"He looks so… peaceful." Tracker observed, slightly bewildered. "It's like last night never happened."
"He's gotta be exhausted." Carlos replied, placing a hand on the back of the chihuahua's head. "Ryder was holding onto a lot of pain until last night. It's not surprising that he's tuckered out."
"But it can't all be gone, can it?"
"Mmmmmgh… N-No way..."
The sleepy mumbling next to Tracker interrupted the two's conversation, prompting them to look over at the source of the voice: a german shepherd whose reddened eyes opened slightly to look at the pair.
"Chase?" Carlos whispered.
"Ryder… was in a bad way last night. Like, REALLY bad." Chase whispered groggily. "He's not gonna get over this in a hurry."
"He was crying like a baby, wasn't he?" Tracker asked, inwardly knowing the answer already.
Chase whimpered at the memory of his owner as a bawling wreck. "Yeah… I've… never seen him like that… heck, none of us have. Well, OK, we saw him like that the day Marshall came back, but that's not the point. Not gonna lie, it was scary… ugly… and everything inbetween. I don't think any of us are gonna forget that in a hurry."
"Heck, I know I'm not." Marshall suddenly interjected, having been listening for a few minutes. "If he was feeling like that… I don't wanna know how bad he could've gotten if I didn't go and talk to him."
"And that's why we can't leave him by himself again." Skye added, who had woken up a few minutes ago. "Maybe he's gonna feel a little better after that, but the fact he got like that in the first place? Means we've gotta be there for him no matter what happens."
Looking around, Carlos noticed the rest of the pups starting to wake up. All of them seemed slightly confused at first, but the group then turned their heads towards the sleeping boy at the head of the bed. It was greatly stunning how at-peace Ryder looked, considering that not a few hours earlier he was a bawling, vulnerable wreck. But they barely had time to dwell on this as they noticed Ryder's eyes twitch before they opened slowly to stare at the sea of pups before him.
"Pups..." Ryder whispered.
"Ryder, are… are you OK?" Marshall asked.
"I… I don't know..."
Ryder took a glance to his side to notice Carlos and Tracker sat next to him with sympathetic expressions. He then took a glance to his other side to notice Everest giving him the same look.
"Huh? Wh-Where's Jake?" Ryder asked.
"Right here, dude."
The group swiftly turned their attention to the door to notice Jake standing there, holding a tray with a plate and glass on it. As Jake stepped closer, it became clear that it was a plate of buttered toast and a glass of apple juice.
"I wasn't sure if you'd be up to it, but I thought I'd bring you some breakfast anyway. I thought you'd be pretty hungry after a day like yesterday, right?"
Ryder stared for a few seconds before mustering up a response. "Jake... that… sounds great… Thank you..."
Smiling at Ryder's response, Jake watched as the pups and Carlos cleared the bed before laying the tray across Ryder's lap. And surprisingly quickly, Ryder picked up the first slice of toast in a hurry and started swiftly devouring it, as if it was the first food he'd had in days. It was a relief to everyone to see Ryder finally eating, with some of the pups not noticing the sigh of relief that they had breathed. And in a couple of minutes, the toast was gone and the apple juice had disappeared into Ryder's stomach, leaving him panting slightly as light laughter rippled across the room.
"Easy, Ryder, you've gotta remember to breathe..." Marshall admonished jokingly.
"Food is good and all, but not when you pass out eating it!" Rubble added.
"Sorry..." Ryder replied with a sheepish grin.
"Hey, we're just glad you're eating." Carlos said.
Ryder looked at Carlos and gave a small nod, before looking back over the rest of the group. Everyone concentrated, as if trying to get a look into what was going through the boy's head. Once more, the silence was deafening. What was Ryder thinking?
"Carlos… Jake..." Ryder finally began. "C-Can you… take all the pups downstairs and get them some food? I keep it on the top shelf in a closet on the left. Rocky can show you where it is."
"Dude, you know we can't leave you alone..." Jake sighed.
"...I wasn't thinking about that… Could you, er… bring Marshall's bowl up to my room when you're done filling them up and… let us have a little alone time?"
"Of course!" Marshall replied, before realising that the question wasn't really directed at him as everyone regarded the pup with a funny look. "Er, um, I mean..."
Ryder giggled. "Don't worry about it, you silly pup… Jake? Carlos?"
"On it, dude." Jake turned to the pups. "C'mon, guys."
Everyone save for Marshall slowly filtered out of the room as Jake took the tray full of empty dishes with him. The dalmatian was quick to hop up to the bed and nuzzle his owner, to which Ryder responded with a hug of desperation. Even though he seemed more normal than usual, it was important for Marshall to remember that the boy was still in recovery mode. Marshall simply let himself be hugged, reassuringly licking Ryder's cheek the entire time and feeling all of Ryder's fear and sadness in his body language alone. Clearly, the thought of his pup being gone forever was one that tore at Ryder's very soul.
A few minutes later, Jake brought up the red dog bowl patterned with a white ladder. It was stuffed full of kibble, and Marshall didn't expect it to be as welcome a sight as it was. Once Ryder let him go, Marshall quickly jumped off the bed in time for Jake to put the bowl down in front of him. Within seconds, Marshall had messily devoured the contents of the bowl, not noticing Jake retreating from the room and closing the door behind him. Clearly, the pup was hungrier than he'd thought. Emotional adrenaline didn't make for much of a meal, after all.
The moment Marshall was finished, the dalmatian quickly scrambled back into bed and into his owner's arms. Despite how obviously scared and sad Ryder was, his tight hug was warm. Comforting. Oddly pleasant. Marshall ended up briefly nodding off a couple of times as Ryder hugged him in total silence. And it seemed that the feeling was mutual, if the light snoring coming from Ryder from time to time was any indication to the dalmatian. It was blatantly obvious how much Ryder needed his pup's companionship after denying himself of it for so long. After spending so long thinking that Marshall was dead, and then more time thinking that no-one would ever forgive him, it was plain to see that Ryder was still in a lot of pain, despite being over the worst of it.
The two had completely lost track of time as they sat cuddling in the bed. They had to have been sat there for at least thirty minutes until someone finally spoke up.
"Hey… Ryder?" Marshall began quietly.
Ryder didn't move at all, or even break the hug slightly. "What is it, Marshall?"
"Back last night… when you said all that awful stuff… About being a horrible person, not deserving to have pets, thinking this whole thing was your fault… You… you didn't mean any of that, right? You were just saying that?"
For a few seconds, Ryder remained silent. But then, very slowly, Ryder broke the hug, but still didn't dare to take his hands away from his pup. With one hand on Marshall's back, Ryder slowly and hesitantly reached towards his Pup Tag. Swallowing nervously, Ryder reached out and pressed a finger to it, holding it there for a couple of seconds until it lit up.
For a couple of seconds, a lot of confused voices came from the tag. The voices of Marshall's fellow pups. Marshall blinked in surprise. What in the world could Ryder have to say that he'd want the entire group to know? The voices quickly died off and fell into silence, with the odd scattered "Hello?" coming from the tag as Ryder breathed heavily, before steadily inhaling and beginning to speak.
"...I meant every single word of it, Marshall… I-I mean, my parents disappeared off the face of the Earth a little while after I was born, neither of them had any brothers or sisters and neither do I, m-my grandpa took care of me only to die not long after I met you and started the Paw Patrol, so all of my grandparents are dead…" Tears began to reach the boy's eyes once more. "Y-You pups… Y-You… You're all the family I've got left…! S-So… When I thought you were dead… I-I had no idea what to do… I-I felt like I'd lost my family all over again… And all I could do was just watch…" Ryder gave a long sniffle. "I… I couldn't stop thinking… that it should've been me… f-falling into the river… n-not you… I… I-I felt like such a… USELESS, STUPID kid… I felt like I'd totally failed all of you… I felt like I couldn't ever talk to you again… I mean… you're all like a bunch of brothers and sisters, right? And one of you died on my watch… How could I… f-face any of you… after that…?"
Marshall moved in and pressed his nose against Ryder's cheek. "But, Ryder… I know you said it's overplayed, but… there really wasn't anything you could've done. You're NOT useless, or a bad owner, or any of that other stuff… Everyone was powerless back then. I was powerless, Chase was powerless and you were powerless. You know as well as we do that we all love you too much to think you're a bad owner for even a second."
Ryder squeezed Marshall tightly. "B-But… That doesn't make it any better… You know how much you all mean to me… You, Chase, Skye, everyone..."
Marshall could've sworn that he heard soft, female whimpering coming from someone over his Pup Tag.
"I love every single one of you to bits..." Ryder went on. "There's no room on the Paw Patrol for a replacement for any of you… I've known all of you and been taking care of you since I was five… And I've got to watch you all grow… and play with you… and be there for you..." Ryder closed his eyes and lowered his head. "I… I just don't know how I could live without any of you..."
The atmosphere was thick enough to cut with a knife. Now it was clear: Ryder didn't just want to pour his heart out to Marshall. He wanted to pour his heart out to the entire group. No-one could recall the last time Ryder was so open with them about himself. He'd repeatedly made clear how much he cared about them, but never on a scale like this. He never wanted to discuss the thought of losing one of them, and after the last few days, it was plain to see why. Even Marshall felt himself getting wet-eyed at his owner's speech. It took a few seconds before the silence was broken by Chase's line.
"Ryder, sir? Don't you think we all feel that way?"
Ryder blinked, staring intently at Marshall's Pup Tag, listening as Chase went on.
"We all know more about how you're feeling than you think. We all lived through losing Marshall just like you. It was only worse for us two because we watched it all happen right in front of us. You basically summed up what we all went through… It's like you said, we're like brothers and sisters in a lot of ways… We lost our brother that day, and you… well, you lost family too, right? Remember how we all felt when Rubble got trapped in the mountains? Well, it was like that. Only a hundred times worse..."
Ryder suddenly got a look of sadness at the memory.
"I felt like a huge failure the day Marshall fell, too. Heck, I was actually thinking about leaving the Paw Patrol for good until Marshall came back..."
A loud, collective gasp shot through Marshall's Pup Tag. Identical expressions of horror spread across Marshall and Ryder's faces. The only one who didn't partake was Skye.
"...but if you'd let us in, we all would've cried with you. I know, I'm not one to talk, but we all could've helped you. You're more than just our owner. You're more than just our boss..."
An unmistakable sniffle came through Chase's line.
"...you're like our dad. And we all love you like you love us. We'd all do anything for each other. And… that includes you… Never forget that."
Now Ryder had begun to shed tears of joy. He was clearly kicking himself over thinking what he had for so long. For intentionally cutting himself off from a family who loved him. Ryder didn't say anything for a little while. Instead he elected to cry quietly in his bed, after bringing Marshall back into his arms, with the dalmatian draping his spotted forelegs over Ryder's shoulders. Once more, he went back to licking Ryder's cheek for a while, before realising that his line was still open, and remembering that one pup still had some unfinished business with their owner.
"Skye?" Marshall piped up. "You there?"
There was a brief pause. "I'm here." Skye replied uncertainly.
"You've… still got something you wanna say to Ryder, right?"
There was another pause. "Well… yeah, but… I wanna say it to his face. I don't wanna tell him over my Pup Tag..."
Marshall looked expectantly at Ryder.
"Skye… I wanna talk to you as well." Ryder replied. "Can you… come up here, please?"
Skye's lack of reply served as her answer. The sound of a call disconnecting broadcasted through Marshall's Pup Tag.
"She's on her way, guys." Rubble's voice informed.
Marshall exhaled. "That's good. Over and out."
As the call finally ended, Ryder looked right at Marshall with a look of horror.
"Chase was thinking about leaving?!" he shouted.
"I-I guess! I-I didn't hear him say anything about that! W-We were listening in on his talk with Skye at one point, but none of us heard anything like that! We heard them yelling, but-" Marshall froze. "Wait a minute. Skye said something like 'Where would you have gone?!' at one point… Maybe that's what she was talking about?"
A wide-eyed Ryder slumped back in his bed. "I had no idea… I… could've helped him… I could've talked him down…" His face contorted back to an expression of pain. "...and all I did was mope… I just let it happen..."
Marshall sighed sadly, and laid down on the boy's stomach.
"Ryder… I wasn't here for a long time… but from what I can tell, it looks like Chase would've been impossible to talk to anyway… Chase mentioned that he'd totally shut himself off… He didn't react to anyone. I'm not sure he would've reacted to you either, actually."
"Probably not."
Skye's voice cut off the two's conversation as the cockapoo appeared around the corner with a heavy, serious expression adorning her features.
"I'll, er… I'll give you two some space." Marshall concluded as Skye got closer, hopping off of Ryder and passing the cockapoo by as he made for the door slightly faster than he was intending, leaving Ryder alone with Skye, who quickly jumped up onto Ryder's bed, sitting at the foot of it and looking at the boy from a distance.
"So..." Skye began. "...wanna start us off?"
Ryder looked down and away from Skye, his black-ringed eyes telling the entire story. "...how am I supposed to do that?" he sighed sadly. "What more is there to say? I left you all alone out there… I yelled at you for daring to try to talk to me… I wasn't there for you when you needed me the most… And all I did was worry you all by shutting myself off… I… deserved every single word you threw at me back then, Skye..."
Skye exhaled loudly, flapping her lips for good measure. Even Ryder could be kind of a fool sometimes. He'd just started them off perfectly! But then, Skye wasn't about to derail the conversation by pointing this out.
"I know you had your reasons, Ryder. It's like Chase said: we all knew how you were feeling. I don't think any of us could handle losing a pup. We've all known each other for so long now that..." Skye swallowed heavily. "...losing one of us… well, I'd say that blows any of our other fears out of the water… It hurt worse than anything, didn't it?"
Ryder said nothing. He just meekly looked up at Skye and nodded slowly, the pained expression not leaving his face once.
"It sure did..." Skye went on. "...but that doesn't change how darn SELFISH you were!" Suddenly, the cockapoo's voice changed into one of pain and disappointment, causing Ryder to flinch and look down at the bedsheets again.
"Yeah, I get it, it hurt! But you know what else hurt? Having to watch you shut us all out! All we could do was worry about you! I mean, you nearly passed out when you finally came out of your room because you weren't eating! Losing Marshall was bad enough, but how do you think we would've felt if you lost you too?! Huh?!"
"...wh-?" Ryder stuttered. "Th-That wouldn't have-"
"Wouldn't it?!" Skye interrupted. "How were we supposed to know?! That's how worried we were about you! We all needed to come together to at least try to get through this, and Chase not letting us get close was bad enough! We had no idea how he was doing, if he was sick, heck, we didn't even know he was thinking about leaving the Paw Patrol and living on the streets! And that's how we were feeling about you! We'd basically already lost you!"
Stopping to catch her breath, Skye noticed how morose Ryder looked at the tongue-lashing she was giving him. She may have vented what she wanted to say to him, but she wanted him to get better as much as anyone else. To go back to being their wise, kindly owner. Their father-figure. And with the painful part out of the way, now perhaps she could work towards helping him. Taking some deep breaths to try and push out how bad she felt, Skye slowly calmed down and prepared to speak again.
"But… you know I can't hate you… I can't hate anyone." Skye went on, this time far more gently.
The shift in tone caused Ryder to look back up at her with noticeably damp eyes.
"Well, I can't hold a grudge, anyway." the cockapoo corrected herself. "I know I shouldn't have yelled at you and Chase, but I'm not gonna lie, I was, and still kind of am, pretty mad at you. But… really, I'm more disappointed. Disappointed that you'd shut yourself away when things are really at their worst when you have pups who want to help you. Who worry about you… Pups like me. All I want… all WE want is to see you get better."
Ryder couldn't hide the sniffle that he gave off. "...I thought I was better than that, too, Skye… I didn't realise how… weak I really am… I couldn't handle losing a pup… at all. I didn't know what to do with myself… or how I could handle life without Marshall… And all it made me do was totally act out… There's no forgiving what I've done… is there?"
Skye simply looked down and sighed quietly with a sad expression. Getting to her feet, Skye slowly walked towards Ryder, who still lay slumped in his bed. The boy had to admit to being confused when Skye walked up to the side of him, only to turn around and crawl under the covers next to him. He watched on as the small lump under his bedding moved over to him, only to jump when he felt fur against his belly.
"HEY-!" Ryder shrieked. "Hee hee hee hee hee! S-Skye! Ha ha ha ha ha! Hee hee- g-g-get out of there-! Ha ha ha! Th-That tickles! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
Skye had obviously dug her head underneath Ryder's shirt and was now nuzzling his belly. Ryder was more ticklish than he liked people to believe, and him being a paralysed, giggling mess at the mercy of his pup rubbing her face and paws against his belly was proof of that. After a little while, Skye poked her head out from the neck of Ryder's pajama top and licked his face a few times, causing more uncontrollable giggling before the cockapoo tucked her head underneath his chin.
"You can be so silly sometimes..." she replied lightheartedly. "Of course you can be forgiven. And in fact, I do forgive you. But on one condition."
Astonished, Ryder sat there for a little while in silence, not truly knowing how to respond.
"...c-condition?" he stammered.
Skye moved to eye-level with Ryder. "Never. EVER. Shut us out again. We're more than just a team, you know? We're a family. We always help each other out. We take care of each other. And not being able to take care of you or even apologise to you after I yelled at you made me feel even worse than I already did. So please. Let us take care of you. Like you've always taken care of us. And hey, if nothing else, even if you are a failure like you say, we can help you past that, too. But only if you let us. OK?"
Almost automatically, Ryder quickly wrapped his arms around Skye and squeezed her tightly, tears of happiness trickling forth from his eyes. Perhaps there was hope for him after all?
"I promise, Skye… I'll never run away from you pups again… I'll always be here for you from now on… just like how I'll let you all be here for me."
Now it was Skye's turn to shed tears. Tears of happiness and relief. Deep down, she could never shake the thought that Ryder had crossed the event horizon and that they'd never get back the leader they loved so much. Vigorously nuzzling her owner, Skye worked her front paws free and hugged Ryder back as tightly as she could.
"Thank you, Ryder… thank you..." she whispered.
Ryder sniffled happily. "I-I should be thanking YOU..."
The pair were content to simply hug it out for a few minutes, but eventually, Skye convinced Ryder to work up the courage to go downstairs to see the other pups. Deciding that he should probably shower first, Ryder quickly went to wash himself off before getting dressed and heading down the elevator with Skye, feeling far calmer than he had in days. But when he got down, an unexpected sight greeted him.
