Chapter Twenty Seven

December 2004 (One last time)

"I'm worried," Bella said after leaving the eighth message on Alice's voicemail.

"She'll turn up," Edward said with a yawn. "Come to bed."

She pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it into the hamper. "Jasper came home yesterday, Edward. And no one has heard from Alice since."

"You've only talked to Rosalie and Esme, Bella. And they don't talk to Alice everyday."

"I know, Edward, but something just…it's not right," Bella said as she sank down onto the bed.

He rolled over and patted her back, kissing her shoulder. "Bella, love, as much as I worry about Alice, too, I really need to get the rest of your clothes off of you. It's not fair for you to tease me this way."

"Oh, Edward," she said shoving him back onto the bed. "There are more things in life besides you rampant libido! Alice is in trouble! I just know it!"

He grasped her shoulders. "Bella, love, Alice is fine. She's heartbroken and doesn't want to talk to anyone. When she wants to talk, she will."

She shrugged his hands off her shoulders. "Damn it, Edward, something is wrong and I am going to find out what."

"How?" he asked. "You're not family and she hasn't been missing for over seventy two hours yet, which, according to TV, is how long a person needs to go before they can consider her a missing person, you know?"

She ran her fingers through her hair and stood. "I can't just sit here and do nothing, Edward. I'm going to find her."

"How in the hell are you going to find her? You don't even know where she went."

"I…I don't know how I'll find her, but I will." She stomped over to the hamper, picked her shirt back up, and slid it over her head. Her cell phone was in her hand, dialing Rosalie's number as she walked out of the bedroom.

"Rose? It's Bella. I'm worried about Alice."

"You still haven't heard from her?" Rosalie asked.

"No. I think we need to find her."

"How?"

Bella paused. "I'm going to call Esme. Come over, will you?"

"I'll be right there, Bells."

Bella was dialing Esme's number when Edward walked down the stairs in a pair of flannel pajama pants and rubbing his eyes. "Bella, please, come on, come back to bed. We'll find her tomorrow…"

"No," Bella said defiantly. "Rose and Esme are coming over and we're going to brainstorm. She's our friend, Edward. If you aren't going to help me, just go on back upstairs."

He sighed and walked back up to their room. But he was back downstairs again, not two minutes later, a shirt on and his cell phone in his hand. "How can I help?"

Hours and many phone calls later, they were still no closer to finding their friend. They all fell into bed, exhausted as the sun began to rise. Rosalie and Esme slept together in the room Alice had vacated days before, and Edward and Bella retired to their room. They awoke three hours later to find Carlisle, Jacob, and Emmett had taken over the search.

"Anything?" Edward asked on a yawn as he stretched.

Carlisle held up a hand, silencing everyone as he spoke with someone on the phone. He hung up and said, "Nothing. It's been long enough, though, I reported her missing. If she's out there, we'll find her."

Alice floated through a haze of blackness. Did I die? She concentrated on her surroundings and sighed. She could hear a beep-beep-beep of a heart monitor and smelled the antiseptic. She was in a hospital. "Damn," she said as she opened her eyes.

"That is usually the response we get when an attempted suicide wakes up for the first time," a voice said.

Alice's eyes roamed the room and she found a woman sitting on the chair across the room. "So...this is common?"

The woman laughed. "Well, yes and no. I have to admit, I figured you'd have something to live for, Alice."

Alice felt hot tears rolling down her face as she turned her head away. "You don't know me; you don't know anything about me."

"I know more than you think."

"Where am I?"

"You were at Brunswick Community Hospital last night, but once you were stabilized, they brought you here."

"And where is here?" Alice asked.

"Duke Medical Center."

Alice groaned. "You couldn't take me to UNC?"

The woman laughed again, almost making Alice smile. "You're a Tarheel fan?"

Alice scoffed. "Well, I'm sure not a Blue Devil's fan."

"Well, Duke has one of the best psychiatric facilities around."

Alice sighed. "So...I'm nuts now?"

"You did try to kill yourself," the woman reminded her.

"Can't a person just have a really bad day and decide life isn't worth it?" Alice said with another sigh.

The woman stood and walked over to Alice's bedside. Alice could see that she was very attractive; tall, with curves Alice could only wish for, and electric blue hair. She smiled sadly down at Alice as she said, "I know what it's like to go crazy over a man."

Alice blew out a breath. "It wasn't like that."

The woman pursed her lips. "Uh-huh, whatever you say. But I should know. I've been there," she paused, "with him in particular."

"Who?"

"Jasper Whitlock."

Alice gasped. "Wha-how do you know that?"

The woman stuck out her hand. "Miya Johns. It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Alice."

Alice blinked. "How did you find me? Why are you here?"

"I work here."

"You-you were in Tennessee...Jasper said you were going to New York."

Miya nodded. "And I did. I just also happened to have a...minor meltdown myself and, well, let's just say I'm on the road to recovery and wanted to start helping others achieve the same."

"So, what? I'm a charity case now? You think we're both broken because of Jasper so now we can bond or some shit? Well, excuse me for not wanting to talk." Alice crossed her arms over her chest and turned her head away.

Miya sighed and said softly, "I'm not leaving, Alice. I'm here most of the time. If you need to talk, I'll be here." She turned and walked out of the room, pulling her cell phone from her pocket as she went down the hall toward the courtyard. She needed to talk to someone, now.

Emmett ran a hand through his curls and he sighed as the water sprayed over him. He felt so useless, something he hadn't felt in a long time. He knew something was wrong with Alice, same as Bella did, but they were no closer to finding her. It had been days now and still no sign of her. He heard the shower door open and felt warm arms embrace him. "Hey, Rosie," he said softly.

She kissed his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

"I feel so helpless," he said softly. "I just..." he turned and grasped her in a hug. "I'm worried about her."

"Me too, Em. She is part of this family we've created, whether she wants to admit it or not."

"What has Jasper done?" he asked on a whisper. "He's destroyed something, hasn't he?"

Rosalie sniffed back a tear. "Maybe not, maybe they can..."

Emmett shook his head. "He's acting like he's not the reason she left. He's protecting himself now. And I can't get through to him when he's all into his self-preservation mode."

"Do you think he knows you know that he's doing drugs?"

Emmett's head fell back against the tile. "I wanted to help him, Rosie, I really did. But until he figures out he needs to live for himself, I can't do anything. But, God, does it hurt to watch him do it."

She pulled his head down to hers and rested his forehead against her own. She looked into his eyes and whispered, "Emmett, you are there for him when he needs it, you will help him when he asks for it,or when he is incapacitated enough to do with him what you will, but when he is like this, you can't help him, no one can."

He put his lips gently on hers and she whispered into them, "Make love with me, Em. I need you."

"God, Rosie, I need you too," he said as he picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He pushed her tenderly into the tile and she shivered at the cold against her back, but then she moaned as he licked a path to the juncture of her neck and shoulder. Her hands fisted in his hair as he bit down on the skin and thrust into her simultaneously.

She let out an oath and began pumping her hips against him, causing him to fill her all the more. His hands were everywhere on her as her own moved down to his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin.

She murmured his name as his fingers began teasing her clit and it took her what seemed like only moments to come. He thrust all the faster and ground out her name as he filled her with his seed.

Her head fell back against the tile wall and she said, "Fuck, Em. That was..."

He smiled and sat her back on her feet before his large hands framed her face. "I love you, Rosalie, so very much."

"I love you too, Em; forever."

They finished showering and he slipped a towel around his waist just as he heard his cell phone ring. He dashed to answer it, losing the towel in the process as he dove onto the bed for the phone on the far side-table. "McCarty!" he all but shouted into the phone.

"Em?" the voice said.

"Miya?" he asked incredulous.

She sighed. "Yeah, it's me."

"Uh, not that it's not nice to hear from you...but...why am I hearing from you?"

She laughed lightly. "That's the Grizz I've missed."

"God, you would have to remind me of that shit," he said grinning.

"Well, a nickname like that is hard to forget, Em."

"So...is this a social call or what?"

She paused and he said, "Mi? What's up?"

"I...I shouldn't have called. I could get into big trouble..."

"I won't tell Jazz."

She let out a little snort. "Please, like Jasper Whitlock is the issue. Well, actually, he sort of is..."

"Miya, look, my friend is missing, I haven't had hardly any sleep and..."

"That's why I'm calling," she said abruptly, as if making up her mind about something.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm in North Carolina, Emmett."

"Yeah? And?"

He heard her sigh. "Alice is here."

"She is?" he said excitedly, jumping up off the bed. "Rosie!"

"Em!" Miya called. "Wait!"

He stopped and put the phone back to his ear. "Yeah?"

"That's not all, Emmett." She sighed again. "I volunteer at Duke Medical Centers...in the psychiatric facilities."

"Yeah, so?"

He could almost hear her palm hit her forehead. "Alice is a patient here, Em."

"What? No, Ali isn't like that. She's not crazy..."

"Well, crazy or not, she's here. She was brought in from Brunswick County."

"Where is that?" he asked as Rosalie walked back into the bedroom, her silk chemise wrapped around her. Her eyebrows drew up quizzically and he held out a finger, telling her to wait a moment.

"It's near the beach. She...Em, sit down, okay?"

"Miya, you're scaring me," he said, but he sat down on the edge of the bed. Rose sat next to him and threaded her fingers through his available hand.

"She tried to kill herself, Em."

"Why?" he whispered. "Was it because of Jasper? Something went on, something Bella knows, I think, but she isn't telling."

"I'm not sure, Em, but the fact remains. She tried to slit her writs, but when that didn't work, she jumped off the balcony."

"Oh, God," he said as his head went into his hand as he ripped it away from Rosalie's. "Is she...?"

"She's alive and only sustained a few broken bones. But it was late, no one heard her fall. She almost drowned because she landed in the shallow end of the pool. She's lucky she didn't land on her head or she would have been successful."

"I'll get everyone together, we'll be right there," he said, standing once more.

"No, Em. This is my job on the line. You aren't family and she's refused to see her sister that was called...I think Jasper's her only shot."

"And why would she want to see him?"

Another sigh and Miya said, "Duh, Emmett, they're in LOVE, stupid."

"Nah...I mean, I know they've had a hookup, but..."

"Is Rosalie there?"

"How'd you know about Rosie?"

"I do still talk to Jamie, Emmett, even if I don't talk to you or Jasper."

"Yeah, she's right here," he said, still confused.

"Good. Tell her to smack you on the back of the head for me."

"Nope, not gonna. She'll do it anyway besides."

Miya laughed. "I miss you, Grizz, really I do."

"I miss ya too, Mi. So, what's the deal? You want Jazz to come?"

"Don't tell anyone else. Bring just him. I can only sneak one of you in and he's the one she needs to see."

"If you're sure that won't fuck her up more..."

"Trust me on this, Em, they need each other. Both of them will self-destruct without the other."

After Miya told Emmett where to meet her at the hospital, they hung up and he and Rosalie hurried to get dressed. He told her what had happened as they did, and what Miya wanted them to do from there, and Rosalie heartily agreed with her. "She's right, Em, they do need each other. Bella, Esme, and I have talked about it and we're pretty sure they're both fooling themselves."

They rushed out to the car and over to the boys' mansion as quickly as they could. Once there, though, they were met with surprising news. "We found her," Bella said tearfully. "They've got her splayed all over CNN. She's at Duke University in North Carolina. She slipped and fell off the balcony of her hotel room. Luckily she landed in the pool, but she almost drowned."

"We're getting our stuff together to go," Edward told them. "Phil has us a private plane to take us to RDU."

"Carlisle's staying here with the children," Esme said. "Then I can go with you all as well."

Emmett and Rosalie just looked at one another. "Where's Jasper?" Emmett asked.

"Upstairs. He said he's not going."

"That fucking..." Emmett growled. "Give me a minute with him..."

Rosalie grasped his arm. "Be gentle, Emmett, like you are with me."

Emmett's fisted hands loosened their grip. "I'm not sure I can, baby, but I'll try."

She reached up and kissed his lips before wiping away her lipstick from them. "Try hard."

He nodded and hurried up the stairs. "Whitlock," he bellowed as he beat on Jasper's door.

Jasper opened it looking bedraggled, a haze of tobacco and marijuana smoke filling the room behind him. "Hey, Em, 'sup?"

"You are one dumb motherfucker, Jasper."

Jasper just looked at him. "What are you talking about?"

"Alice," Emmett hissed at him.

"Alice had an accident. She didn't want to see me and I sure as hell don't wanna see her, so, what's the big fucking deal?" He walked over to his bedside table and grabbed a cigarette. He lit it and took a long drag off of it.

In that moment, Emmett lost his cool. He was in Jasper's face, poking his chest by the time Jasper had sat his lighter down. "It is a big fucking deal, Jasper. She tried to KILL herself. All. Because. Of. You." He punctuated each word with a jab.

"What?" Jasper asked, his eye growing wide. "Are-are you sure? How do you know?"

Emmett threw up his hands and turned away. "You've gotta fix this, Jasper. You gotta make it right. I'll be in the fucking car if you can bring your sorry ass to come with us." And with that, Emmett left the room.

Jasper sank down onto his bed and wondered; what have I done?

"It's a media circus," Bella exclaimed as the SUV they had rented pulled up to Duke.

"We'll never get in here," Esme said softly.

"Well, we just need to muscle our way in." Edward said.

"You four go on," Emmett, who was driving, said to Edward, Bella, Esme and Rosalie. Jacob had stayed behind to help Carlisle with Foster and Caraily. "Jasper and I will go park the car, then sneak in a different way, okay?"

Rosalie looked Emmett in the eye and nodded. "Come on, you guys. Edward, you'll need to help get us past the media. We need some manliness and you're it."

"What about Jasper and Emmett? Em doesn't need a bodyguard."

"Wimp," Rosalie teased.

Edward sighed. "Fine. Let's see if we can get in to the pixie." They piled out of the vehicle and Emmett quickly pulled away.

"Okay, Em, what's the deal?" Jasper asked. "Why did you want me to come with you? Want to bust my balls a little bit more? You haven't said three words to me since I got in the fucking car."

Emmett shook his head and drove to a smaller building. "Alice isn't in the main hospital."

Jasper looked around and saw the sign that said 'Psychiatric Care Facility: Employee Entrance' and said, "Em..."

"They've put her in here for her own safety. No one but us and Rosie knows." He parked and they stepped out, heading toward the building, texting someone as he walked.

"How did you find out?" Jasper asked.

Emmett knocked on the door once and a familiar face opened it. "Hey, guys," she said softly.

"Miya. What the fuck?" Jasper asked in distain.

"Jazz," she started, but he began walking away.

"No. Fuck you, Emmett. How could you, man? She left ME, remember?"

Emmett grabbed Jasper and physically picked him up and carried him back to the door. "Jasper just shut the fuck up and listen to her. Miya did what she had to do and you have to, too. Now you're both coming together to fix someone else, so get over this petty shit. I'm done. I'm going to find Rosie. You call me when you're ready for a ride, man."

Jasper blew out a breath and looked at Miya. "You, uh, you look good," he started.

She looked at him. "Save the shit, Jasper. I'm not here for you or to rehash what we went through. This isn't about me; Emmett is right. It's about Alice. Come on inside." She opened the door wider and he begrudgingly followed her in.

"So, uh, what happened?"

Miya turned and looked at him. "She had multiple cuts on her wrists and fingers where she tried to slice through the skin. She did it the wrong way though. Everyone serious about suicide knows you go down the road, not across the street." She shook her head. "When that didn't work, she thought she could brain herself by jumping out of a second story window. Gravity wasn't on her side, though. She landed in the shallow end of the pool. She broke her right ankle and her left leg in two different places. She will be lucky if she can dance again."

Jasper shivered at the implications of what had happened to her. "So...will she be okay?"

"She'll be able to walk again, and though she had water in her lungs, she didn't suffer any type of oxygen deficiency for long, so there wasn't any permanent damage in that department. But her mind...the doctors came in and talked to her today. She's...she could be fine, if she had a good support system."

"Like me?" Jasper asked with a snort.

Miya stopped short. "Exactly like you, Jasper. You are the only one that can save her. And in reality, she's the only one that can save you."

"I don't need anyone," he said defensively.

"Everyone needs someone, Jasper."

"You don't," he stated petulantly.

"You're wrong," she replied. "I do need someone, it just isn't you. Can't you see, Jasper? I was enabling you, just like Emmett is, ignoring all the issues you have. Yes, they're horrible; I can only imagine all the horror you went through over the years that you refused to let anyone see. But I let it go. When you'd go out and get fucked up, then you'd show up at my place and I'd let you in, have sex with you, be what you wanted at the time, but it wasn't what you needed. What you need is that firecracker upstairs to keep you in line."

"And what do you need, Miya?"

She smiled sadly. "I don't know yet. But at least I know I need something and I'm trying to obtain it. You're just burying your head in the sand."

She led him up a back staircase and through another door. "Room one-oh-eight," she told him. "Don't fuck this up, Jasper. I need this volunteer position to help remind me why I can't go down that path again and you need her. You need her more than you ever needed me." She reached up on tip-toe and placed a gentle kiss upon his cheek. She brushed a wayward strand of hair out of his eyes and said, "Take care of yourself, Jasper. And take care of Alice too."

He watched her walk away, thankful, somewhere in the back of his mind that this time, at least, he got to see her walk away. It almost felt like finally he had some closure on the thing.

He turned the opposite direction and saw the room numbers swimming before him as his eyes filled with tears. "I can't," he whispered as two tears fell down his cheeks. "I won't be the one being left this time."

He turned and ran back the direction that he came, through the door, down the stairs, ran until he breached the door to the outside and took in great lungful of air. "I can't," he whispered. "I CAN'T!" he shouted as loud as he could before he started running again, out into the darkening night.