a/n: first of all, hey... this isn't awkward at all lol. i hope you're all safe during this pandemic. here's a chapter from the story that i haven't updated in forever but fully intend to finish while i'm in social isolation :) please enjoy, this one was hard to end (mostly because i wanted to keep writing.)


It felt good not to have to hide her relationship with Thomas from her family anymore. Her father took it better than she expected, and her mother was thrilled, though Des was sure that her mother had always secretly hoped she would get in good with the Avery family. They were as old as the Dolohov family, after all. Thomas's family had also taken to the news well, the two families getting together for dinner soon after. It wasn't quite awkward, as their parents were friends who often mingled together at parties hosted by other families. This dinner felt different, though, knowing that Thomas and Des were now together, and this could be the joining of these families. With what pureblood society was like these days, it was likely that was the case. The idea didn't seem to bother Des, however, as Thomas was aware of her goals and knew exactly what she wanted. Best of all, he was willing to be by her side as she accomplished it all instead of holding her back.

Des and Thomas attended meeting after meeting with their fathers, unsure just when they were going to pay off. It was after one of these meetings, when the two of them got to speak as their fathers were mingling with others, that Des finally expressed her frustration at just how long it was taking them to be evaluated, as she was sure that was what this was.

"You know, it isn't very like a Death Eater to pout, Des," Thomas said, taking one look at Des with her lower lip jutted out and her arms folding tightly like a petulant child.

"Well I'm not a Death Eater yet, am I?" Des replied stubbornly, "So I can pout as much as I want."

"Come on, Des…"

"I just wish we knew when this was going to pay off. It's been months since we started going to these meetings. Hogwarts is well into the school year and what are we doing? Sitting around a table discussing the same things over and over again. The Dark Lord doesn't even show up to these things, Thomas. What does that tell you?"

"First of all, he just came back from the dead… don't you think that after years and years of not having a physical body you'd need to adjust? And second, it tells me to be patient which is something that, after very much experience," he stepped in front of her, stopping her from walking further, placing his hand on her chin and used it to tilt her face up to look at him, "I've learned that you are not."

"I just wish I knew more about what point of the process we're in," Des said, turning her head to move her chin from his hand, "I can follow what's going on, I know spells and hexes and curses, but I don't know where we are at this point and that's incredibly frustrating."

"Did you not hear what I just said about patience?"

"I did and, as you've already stated, I have none of it."

"It's going to pay off when it happens," Thomas said, placing an arm around her shoulder and pulling her close to him. "Think of it as a surprise, like something to look forward to."

"I've been looking forward to it. For months! For my whole life!"

"I don't know how to get through to you about it but just know that it can't hurt to wait any longer. You'll just have to learn to have some patience, hm?" Thomas said, squeezing her shoulder. "Besides, what if they are watching us right now and can see you pouting?"

Des was about to retort and thought about it for a second, realizing that Thomas had a point. This was something that she had already been waiting years for, a few more months wouldn't do any harm. It's not like she had any other goals she wanted to reach. The moment Des was about to give in and tell Thomas he was right, for the umpteenth time in the period they had been together, her father beckoned her over. Thomas kissed the top of her head and bade her farewell before leaving with his father as well.

"I have good news," her father began as they made their way out of the elaborate Malfoy manor.

"What is it?"

"After plenty of evaluation, it seems that your cohort is ready to be… inducted, so to speak."

It took Des a minute to process what her father was saying before she squealed in almost uncharacteristic glee.

"Do you mean it?" She asked, feeling as if her birthday and Christmas had come all at once. It was like everything she had ever asked for in her life had been gifted to her and she could hardly contain herself.

"In about a month, we are to meet again, and you will be receiving your Mark. I need to ask you again, and I will ask this before that meeting, but you are sure that this is the path you have decided to continue down?"

"I've never been surer of anything in my entire life."

"I'm glad to hear that."

And with that, the two of them apparated home. Des immediately owled Thomas when she reached her bedroom, scrawling quickly on the parchment and assuming by then his father had told him the same thing. She sent the fastest owl they had to deliver the message and hoped she would receive a response that evening. She almost screamed when she heard the tapping on her window and tried her best not to rip the parchment from the owl's leg too quickly. He had received the same news and was just going to owl her to see if she had gotten the same from her father and was quite nervous about whether Des would have made it through any evaluation that they were under. The thought of going through this milestone together excited him, however, and he was glad that he had her with him.

It was as if every dream of hers had come true, though considering that this the only thing she had wanted since learning about what her father did in his spare time it was exactly that. As she lay in bed, trying to figure out what to write back to him, she couldn't help but think about Anya and Gemma and how this exact thing is the opposite of what they'd wanted for her. And while she would never let the opinion of another sway a lifechanging decision like this, there was almost a melancholy sort of longing she felt to be able to tell someone other than Thomas that she was achieving a lifelong goal of hers. She scrawled back a quick note to Thomas that she was excited as well, that she couldn't wait to be marked with him and have this milestone together for the rest of their lives. She sent the owl and went to sleep that night happier than she had ever been.


When the time came for them to be marked, Des felt the nerves from the moment she woke up. She had been waiting for this day for over a month and now that it had come, she hadn't thought that she would be anxious about it. It was no big deal, though… it was just another meeting. That was what she told herself the full month before, at least. Her father had sat her down the night before and discussed what would be done that night, including an actual trial by Legilimency by the Dark Lord himself to see if this cohort was worthy of being marked and inducted. The thought of him even finding a shred of doubt in her subconscious terrified her.

Her father reassured her that she just needed to go into it as sure as possible, and she was completely sure, but with everyone asking if she wanted to do this, she was worried the Dark Lord would see it and mistake it for hesitation.

That day was the longest day Desdemona had ever lived. She spent hours in front of her bedroom mirror trying to find something to wear that didn't make her look too delicate, she wanted it to be known that she was strong enough to be on the frontlines if she had to be. But she also didn't want to look too boyish, she wanted to stand out as one of the only women to have received a Dark Mark. She settled for a simple black dress.

Her father met her at the base of the staircase. It was almost as big a production as her coming of age ball was… though this was a much bigger deal to her. She wasn't about to be presented to pureblood society as a witch of age, she was about to be presented to the Dark Lord as a member of his most trusted, joining the ranks as a soldier as she'd always wanted.

She piggyback apparated with her father to the Malfoy manor and nearly clung to his side as they walked in. Suddenly, she was a small child again. Des didn't realize how nervous she was until she stepped through the enormous threshold of the Malfoy's front door. Her hands were clammy, and she was slightly shaky. For the first time since she'd started attending these meetings, Des was truly aware of what being one of the only female Death Eaters meant… and she only hoped she could live up to that.

She walked into the formal dining room and scanned it to find Thomas. She finally found him, and he locked eyes with Des, her heart rate slowing just a bit as he flashed her a comforting smile. He made his way through the room to her and grabbed her hand, squeezing it in his own.

"Are you excited?" he asked.

"Terrified."

"But in a good way, right?"

"Sure."

They didn't have much time to talk before they were asked to line up at the front of the room. One by one they would be tried via Legilimency. Should there be any doubt at all, The Dark Lord himself would reveal the doubter, no doubt humiliating them. Des was almost sure she was twice as pale as any of the boys there… but there was a lot more riding on her acceptance than theirs.

The Dark Lord himself entered, leaning on Bellatrix for support. There was no doubt he was still weak and recovering after his resurrection but, despite the physical weakness, power radiated from him. He commanded the room in the most terrifying way. This was a man who brought fear with him everywhere he went.

He was tall, spindly, his head smooth and hairless. Des had heard rumors that he had spent most of this time as a snake and so that only made sense. He looked up at them to examine the batch. His pupils were slits in yellow eyes, as snakelike as could be. It made it more unnerving to have him look them in the eye like this.

When he spoke, his voice came out in a hiss.

"Legilimens!"

One of the boys at the far end of the line suddenly choked up, as if he was having trouble breathing.

"Approved," Voldemort hissed, already moving on to the next person in line as the first boy dropped to his knees in exhaustion.

Des was suddenly worried. The Dark Lord was about to see every little thought of hers. He'd be able to sniff out anyone disloyal in a second.

The second boy was deemed unprepared and was given the mercy of leaving in one piece, though his dignity had no doubt been shattered. Next was Thomas… Des held her breath. She saw Thomas's eyes glaze over and sweat bead on his forehead as Voldemort searched every bit of his mind.

"Approved."

Des saw Thomas almost lose his balance before catching himself. He turned to her and gave her a fatigued but reassuring smile. It helped a bit but not by much. There was one more person before Des, the last to be searched. The Dark Lord finally stepped in front of her, looking her up and down before they made eye contact and she felt as though she was sinking back into her own mind at the speed of light.

She saw herself begging her father to train her in Dark Magic, her father refusing time and time again before finally giving in.

A dedicated one…

He was speaking to her as he viewed her thoughts and memories. He went deeper, and Des could feel her doubt welling up inside of her, overwhelming her. She was suddenly so afraid that she would be deemed unfit… but this doubt was not directed at her dedication to the cause and she knew that Voldemort knew that. Before she knew it, she was in her own head again.

"Approved."

Des was the first to receive her Mark that night from the Dark Lord himself. Her left arm extended, he pressed his wand to it, muttering an incantation that sent fire up the veins of her arms. She bit her lip to prevent herself from screaming in pain. The inferno centered around where the mark was forming, ink flowing from Voldemort's wand and into her skin, the infamous skull and serpent.

When he was finished, he moved on to the next person. She was left panting and sweating with the taste of blood in her mouth and adrenaline pumping through her veins. Des held her arm up in triumph to view the trophy she'd be waiting years for.

At last, she was Marked.