Chapter Twenty Eight
Present Day
"I'm sorry," Jasper said suddenly. "I…I need some time, a few minutes."
"Of course, Jasper," Barbara said.
Jasper stood, picking up Alice at the same time, carrying her out of the room. Both had tears running down their faces.
Barbara cleared her throat. "We'll just let Jasper have some time." She took a sip of water and said, "Edward, you haven't said much lately, what are you doing now in your personal life?"
Edward looked murderous and crossed his arms petulantly. "Edward," Carlisle said softly. "It's your turn."
"It hurts too much," he said, his voice filled with pain.
Carlisle grasped Edward's hand, and Emmett clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Ed, man, I know it's tough. You got the worst wrap of anyone here, I think. And I know it's hard for you to talk about, but the world needs to know. Maybe then…"
"Maybe then I'll find some peace?" Edward asked hopefully.
They all looked at him with pity and he sighed. "Fine. Let me tell you what happened next…it wasn't all pretty, but some of it was…"
Flashback: February 2005
He wore a hat and sunglasses as he shopped along Rodeo Drive. They were out in California for a video shoot and he didn't want to be recognized; not for what he was purchasing, in any case.
"Can I help you?" the sales associate asked him.
"Yes," he said, choosing his words carefully. "I…I think I want to look at the diamond rings."
The woman's eyebrow went up. "Engagement rings?"
He winced, just slightly, but nodded. "Yeah, I, uh, I think I do."
She chuckled. "Oh, I remember how my brother Robert was like that in his younger days. You have a special lady in your life, but you're afraid of the commitment?"
"It isn't me," he grumbled under his breath. The woman looked at him confused and he sighed. "My…girlfriend, she had a really bad, really public breakup a few years ago. We've been together ever since, but she's terrified to let anyone outside our circle of friends know. And I sometimes wonder in the back of my mind if she doesn't trust me like she should…"
The woman smiled at him sadly. "Well, son, let me just say, a woman's heart is a special place. If you happen to find yourself there, then you're doing very well indeed." She shook a finger at him. "However, break the trust of a woman's heart and you may find you will be on the outside looking in."
With that, she moved around the display case and crooked a finger at him as she walked across the room. "I have a feeling your girlfriend would be more of a traditionalist, something big and shiny wouldn't attract her, am I correct? She is more earthy than earthly, I think."
He nodded. "Exactly."
She pulled out a single ring box with a beautifully ornate ring. It had curlicues of gold in white, yellow and bronze twisting around a perfectly symmetrical diamond. Down below, coming to points, were two heart shaped diamonds, one on either side of it.
"It's gorgeous," he breathed. "Where did you get it?"
"It is a one-of-a-kind. I picked it up at an estate auction here. It belonged to one of the great screen legends. You can see it in an interview she did for the local newspaper. I have it around here…" she dipped down to reach below the display case and came out with the picture. "I also have the certificates for the diamonds. She was a meticulous record keeper. I was able to procure most of her jewelry. This is the last piece of hers. It was commissioned by her husband, who died a few months after their wedding. She went on to remarry and have children, but he was her first love."
"Wow," was all Edward could come up with.
She nodded. "Indeed. I have all the documentation about it in case your girl is a history buff."
He nodded. This was perfect for Bella. "How much?"
She named her price and though he whistled low, he merely handed over his American Express card. He knew this would be the perfect thing for Bella, when he finally worked up the nerve to ask her, that is.
Flashback End
"So, you were going to ask her to marry you?" Barbara asked as she leaned forward and clasped her hands on her knee.
Edward nodded. "Yeah…I was."
"So, what happened?"
He sighed. "I screwed up."
February 2005 (Continued)
"Bella, why can't we just go out like a normal couple on Valentine's Day night? Why do we have to go with a group?"
Bella sighed as she slipped the red silk down her body. "Edward, we've been over and over and over this. You know we can't let anyone know…"
"And I'm sick and fucking tired of it, Bella!" He ran his hand through his hair. "Goddamn it, Bella! I'm so fucking tired of pretending we aren't anything! I'm tired of pretending that I'm celibate and changing my ways, I'm tired of…"
"Me?" she asked coldly. He just looked at her. "Well? Are you?"
He sighed. "You know I'm not, Bella. I just wish we could be a fucking normal couple for once! When will it be enough? When will it be when you can look out at the world and kiss me in front of fucking everybody and say, 'yes, I'm with Edward now'? When, damn it!?" he shouted.
She shrunk back from him and his hands fisted. "God, I can't take it, Bella. I'm…you don't want it to look like we're together? Well, guess what, I'm leaving now. You come with everyone else. I'll see you at the club."
She watched him as he slammed the door shut, the sound causing her to jump. She melted onto the bed and tried to sniff back the sobs.
"Bella?" she heard.
She looked up to find Jacob standing there. "Jake, hey," she said softly.
"You okay?" he asked as he sat next to her on the bed.
"Not really," she told him.
He nodded. "I figured that."
"Where's Lyn?"
"At Carlisle and Esme's. We figured until the wedding, we needed to cool it about flaunting our relationship status in front of Edward's face. I mean, he's cooler with it, but still…he's hurt and pissed about us keeping it from him, which I totally get, but, you know…"
"You're trying to do the right thing."
He nodded. "Yeah. Ness doesn't think it is necessary, but she doesn't have to live with the guy twenty-four/seven, you know?"
Bella laughed lightly. "I do know. I also know I've about pushed him to his threshold."
"Well, then maybe you need to just take a leap of faith."
Her eyebrow rose. "And what? You're Obi Wan now?"
He laughed. "Well, I have been in a committed relationship for a few years now, while keeping it all under-wraps from the media and Edward, and with an underage girlfriend. That has to count for something."
"Stupidity?" Bella offered.
"Ha-fucking-ha. You're lucky I like you," he teased.
She smiled. "Thanks, Jacob. You're a good friend."
He hugged her. "So are you, Bells, so are you."
Bella freshened her lipstick in the mirror and took a deep breath as her driver for the evening opened her door. The club was busy, even though the party was by invitation only. But when LeAnn Rimes invites you to a party, you don't say 'no'. She had met the boys at a benefit where they raised money for St. Jude's Children's Hospital and had invited them to her party. LeAnn and Bella went back a few years before this, though. They had co-written some of LeAnn's biggest hits together.
Bella walked inside and greeted her hostess before snagging a drink and making her way further into the room. She had opted against arriving with any of her 'gang' even though she lived at the boy's house most of the time. But her main reason was because after the argument, she decided she needed some time to herself.
She found Carlisle and Esme and stood with them a few moments before she worked her way around the room, talking with a few people, occasionally giving cheek kisses, before standing and talking with her mother and Phil. "Where is Edward?" Renee asked softly.
"He's around…" Bella said absently.
"Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise?"
That's the trouble with mothers. They know everything about their children. "Just an argument," Bella told her.
Renee shook her head. "You need to quit fussing around and settle down with that boy, Bella. If you have to propose to him, then you do, but don't let him chicken out of this relationship."
Bella let out a huge laugh. It's not Edward, it's me. But to her mother, she said, "I'll keep that in mind, Mom. Now, if you'll excuse me…" she had just seen a shock of bronze hair. She lost track of him in the crowd, but slowly made her way across the room anyway.
"Hey!" she heard shouted in her direction. She turned and saw James smiling down at her.
"Hey, James," she said. She looked at him. They had all been a tad upset at him over the song that he released; "Cry Me a River", but he had made a point to release a statement saying that it in no way reflected upon Alice and their breakup, just that he liked the lyrics. Personally, Bella didn't really believe it, but at the same time, she could understand why he wrote it. How could it not be a reflection upon all that had happened?
Alice had closed herself off from everyone and everything, only occasionally sending out emails or letters in response to cards she had been sent. Bella had missed her best friend and hoped that one day she would be able to reunite with her.
"How are you, Bella?"
"I'm good, thanks."
"You still with Masen?"
She sighed. "Yes, I am."
Alarm showed on his face for just a moment, but he covered it by saying, "Good, that's good."
There was a lull in the conversation before she said, "So, how have you been?"
He nodded. "Not bad, not bad. The music's going good…" He paused and said, "How is she?"
Bella shook her head. "She won't see me. Her letters sound…better, but…"
"I'm so glad that everything with that was kept under wraps, for her sake. It's easier to play off addiction than it is a suicide attempt…"
Bella nodded. "I know. I just wish I had seen the signs or something sooner…wish I could have…"
He grasped her hands. "You didn't have anything to do with it. It was all on me. Me and…" he growled and all but spat out Jasper's name.
"This hurt him too," Bella said softly.
"Look, I know I'm partly to blame," James told her, "but the fact of the matter is; he is more to blame than I am. She never loved me. It was always him. I just wish I'd have had the stones to walk away from her. Then she wouldn't have cheated and…Alice isn't like that. She's not a cheater. This…this was something that spun out of everyone's control."
"You aren't the only one that got hurt in this, James," Bella reminded him.
"No, but I had the sense not to walk away from her!" he snapped.
Bella shook her head. "Jasper's fucked up, James; you can't fault him for not wanting to make it worse, or for him realizing the fact that he can't make it better by being with her. He knows he's not ready for a relationship. At least he wasn't forcing a ring on her finger and making her walk down the isle with a gun to her back!"
He looked at her with fire in his eyes before he turned on his heel and walking away.
Bella blew out a breath and turned also, heading in the direction she had last seen Edward. She pushed and prodded her way through the throng of people only to stop short. There was Edward at the bar, five or six women surrounding him. He was laughing at something one of the bimbos had said. Bella felt the green tinge of jealousy flood her, coloring her vision a dark shade of jade. She blinked and knew he was just hamming it up because she saw a photographer snapping pictures.
It's fine, Bella. You're the one that wanted to keep you a secret, remember? He has to play along…
She almost believed it, until she saw one of the women lean on him. His hand clasped around her waist as she stood on tip-toe to whisper something in his ear. His face took on that crooked grin Bella loved so much as he replied to whatever the girl said. She smiled at him and kissed his cheek, her horrid red lipstick leaving a cheap mark upon his perfect face. His hand traveled from the woman's waist down, down, down, over the slight curve of her hip, to grasp her hand. He stepped away, tugging her with him.
That was all Bella needed to see. She turned and ran the opposite direction, pushing her way through the crowd once more, panic and bile rising up within her.
"Hey, Bella," Lynessa said as Bella blew past.
Bella ran until she reached the street where she retched.
"Bella? Bella?" Lyn, Esme and Rosalie all crowded around her.
"Get me home," Bella managed. "Get me far away from here. Now."
