Author's Note: This one stems from the fact that I've always thought the hero would feel out of it for a bit after coming back. Of course, the specific kind of 'out of it' stems partly from the way I set up Team Shadow, and maybe Claire would've gotten over it sooner if she and Felix were the only official members like in game canon. The other part comes from me trying to pick up on implications in the first few chapters of the main fic that Claire 1) bottles things when she does get upset, and 2) likes having a role to fill. Let's hope those weren't too subtle. Now enough chatter; here's the chapter.
Return
Coming back took more adjusting than Claire had thought.
She was grateful for her second chance at life, of course. Claire hadn't thought she'd return at all, so this was much better than she could've asked for. And it really had felt just like waking up; she hadn't suffered any new injuries from the whole ordeal.
Still…for her team, it had been months. They'd spent months thinking she was gone, and they'd all had to adjust to that. Of course, Claire knew they didn't like her disappearance, but they'd gotten used to it. Team Shadow had been able to operate fine without her, and now she was just re-inserting herself into their adventures like nothing had ever happened.
"It's fine, Claire," Bruce insisted one day when he stayed back to help with sentry duty. "This is how we always did things before, right? We can do it again, no problem!"
She nodded as she watched him climb down into the sentry tunnel. Claire couldn't help thinking Bruce was just saying that to make her feel better. Still, Rin had said the same thing when she'd helped Chimecho prepare the guild's dinner a few days ago. Surely both of them couldn't be lying, right? But still…
Claire shook her head as she picked out a couple of jobs for the day. Felix eagerly agreed with the ones she'd selected; despite that, he'd led the team before, and picking jobs had been up to him. Didn't he feel bad about giving that up? It was the perfect chance for him to keep building his steadily-growing confidence, and she was taking it away from him.
But Felix was just plain incapable of hiding his feelings, too. Claire knew that. So if he seemed excited about it…then he really had to be excited, right?
She sighed as the rest of her team followed her out of the guild. Claire should have been happy—so why wasn't she?
A few days after that, she found herself out on the beach. Team Shadow had finished their duties for the day, and dinner wasn't ready yet. Claire needed a break from the guild, so she'd come out here to watch the sun set. Being out here alone in the fresh air felt nice; she could see why Felix had always come to the beach to calm down before.
Soon, she heard footsteps; slow and soft, but audible nonetheless. Claire looked out of the corner of her eye and saw Felix plodding towards her. The Chimchar smiled hopefully at her, and she nodded at the spot beside her. Felix sat down, staring out at the ocean before he spoke up.
"You know, everyone's worried about you, Claire," he said, anxiously looking over at her. "They can all tell you're out of it, you know? Even Croagunk's worried, and you know he doesn't show how he feels very often."
"Mm." Claire simply hummed in acknowledgement at the comment. She knew he had a point, but what was she supposed to say to that?
Felix fell silent again. It did make her feel bad, the way he bit his lip and glanced down at the sand. She was just making it all worse. Maybe it would've been better if she'd stayed gone.
Just like everyone else from her future must have. Claire drew her knees up to her chest and closed her eyes. She'd accepted disappearing; she'd been ready for it when it happened. That was what was supposed to happen. But here she was, in complete defiance of how things should've been, and she couldn't even be happy about it.
Felix's eyes widened when Claire started shaking, and he scrambled in front of her and put his hands on her shoulders. Claire squeezed her eyes shut harder and refused to look at him.
"Claire, it's okay! What…"
"I'm sorry," she croaked. "I'm not…I'm not supposed to be here. You guys don't need me. It's fine. I should've stayed gone, since that's how it's supposed to be, and—and you guys were fine, and now I'm just burdening you by making you adjust for me again, and—"
"Claire, we want you here," Felix replied gently. "It's not the same without you. M-maybe we don't 'need' you, but we want you, and…it's really not a problem at all! So please don't say that. We really want you here! E-especially me. Okay?"
It was when Felix buried his face in her shoulder and started sobbing that Claire finally realized he was right. She slowly wrapped her arms around him, and she let herself cry as well. Maybe she should've let this out before. Maybe the only problem was her refusal to 'upset' anyone, which had just worried them all in the end anyway.
But, as they sat there on the beach together and cried, there was something within Claire that started to lighten. She was okay now, and she would be from now on. Claire was alive, somehow, and that was all that mattered.
Her team wanted her back, and she'd do her best to keep leading them for as long as she could.
