Sam was sweating and nervous and surrounded by a group of Indian women dressed in very colorful saris.
The smell of spices consumed the room, and peas. Lots of peas were being grinded and mango fried in round bottom pots. And although he hadn't eaten since that morning, it was half past three in the afternoon and Sam was growing hungry by the minute. So hungry, that he literally wanted to eat the shredded mango from Mala's auntie's metal basin.
His girlfriend, as he had chosen to label her for two weeks now, was wearing a very beautiful dark green sari trimmed in gold. Her large gold hoop earrings glinted under the fluorescent lights. And on any other occasion, Mala would have been cladded in a pair of black jeans and a graphic t-shirt. But since they were preparing for her sister's wedding, she had respected the use of her traditional wear.
"Sam, you have one brother", Mala's mother had taken a seat next to him immediately after she had come into the room. Her face was round and jolly and she smelled like baby powder.
He nodded and cleared his throat. "Yeah, his name's Dean."
"And he's married?"
Her face radiated with so much warmth and love and innocence, he wanted to lie but after all, telling one little white lie led to many others. And Mala was watching him intently.
"No, he isn't actually," Sam said, feeling terribly out of place and too tall.
"He has a girlfriend then," Mala's mother was a very inquisitive woman.
"Mom," Mala sighed, "what's with the questions? Are you done now?"
"I was only asking because Sita is long overdue to find a suitable man. And if Sam is this intelligent and handsome and sweet, then his brother would be very much more interesting." When she provided that speech, everyone else nodded.
Mala shook her head. "Sita isn't Dean's type."
"How do you know that?" her mother frowned deeply as she peeled garlic in an orange bowl. "Sita is well suited for any man."
"Dean is…uh," Sam interrupted Mala before she could jump into the truth because she would have, "…in a relationship. With someone. Very nice. It's long term."
"And how long have they been together?" one of the aunties asked.
Sam smiled a little. "Ten years." Mala actually smiled back at him because he had indulged her with a bit of the past.
And at that precise moment when the smell of dhal and curry filled the house, Dean's vision was obscured by a pair of wide blue eyes. His mind was spinning out of control. His lungs were on fire.
Breathless. He had literally been kissed until he couldn't breathe anymore. And now Cas was chewing on his freaking neck like a freaking wild kitten whilst Dean held onto his hardened cock and jerked him slowly underwater. And it was amazing how expansive was Cas' sexual appetite.
Hell, if he was an angel and had the willpower to drive Dean crazy by wrapping his thighs around the hunter's waist and grinding their bodies together…Dean had no idea what would happen to him when Cas took full control in bed. When Cas dominated and fucked him all the way. And maybe it was true, that absence made the heart grow fonder.
But Dean was so certain that it wasn't just their hearts that had grown fonder…it was also their sex drive. And he wasn't exactly innocent in all of the aggressive action going down in the lake. Dean was purposeful in getting his hand on that glorious part of Cas' body from the moment he turned around and found that the other man's lips were inches apart from his. So that when his fingers did eventually wrap around that thick, beautiful length that was full and hard, Dean had become thirsty. For everything.
"Take me," Cas breathed into Dean's neck, his breath on fire. "Please. I want to feel you inside of me."
His heart beat wildly in his chest from that request but nevertheless, Dean was hesitant. "Are you sure?"
"Yes."
The way Cas held onto him like the world was about to end or maybe like he wanted so much more proved to the hunter that the pace they had always been going at was okay. It was okay to touch and jerk each other off but there was always that breaking point. Of knowing that there was something else. Something that was raw and beautiful and it was like crossing the edge and jumping, arms flailing.
"Right here?" he asked because he wanted to be certain. "In the lake?"
"Dean!" Cas captured the other man's face between his hands and pleaded with those blue eyes. He appeared so weak in that moment, so vulnerable, that the hunter felt so mesmerized. "We need to do this. I need you."
But was he sure? Like really, was Cas really in the right mindset? Was he thinking this through? So many questions were racing through Dean's mind, he hadn't enough time to register that Cas had slipped out of his grasp and was now backing into his space as the water splashed around them in small waves. And oh fucking hell, he was aching for it. For that full release as he had been longing for in a long damn time.
Dean wanted to be so gentle though. Because it was always in his nature to never force himself upon someone even though they begged and pleaded. So maybe that's why he walked them a little closer to the shore twisted with roots. The water pooled around their waists and hugging Cas from behind, he formed that protective X again like a shield. He buried his face into the crook of the angel's left shoulder and sucked on his soft skin. And Cas…well he allowed the slowed pace to consume him until his breathing settled down to a measured rhythm comprising of them slowly bobbing in the water as the sand beneath them settled under their knees.
"Do you hear that?" Dean finally asked and he sucked lightly on the other man's earlobe.
Cas could feel all of the hunter behind him. "My heart screaming?"
"Also the silence. Listen to it—"
"Dean, what are you—"
"Just listen to it, okay?" the hunter asked softly, breathing into Cas' neck and hugging him from behind. "Relax. Feel me and breathe."
For a while, maybe a full minute and a half, they both tried to calm down until the sound of the leaves rustling as the wind played with them was like music. The soft lapping of the waves on the shore was rhythmic and knowing that no one would intrude because they were really in a secluded spot, far away from the highway that was never traversed, both of them drowned in the moment. Until Dean realized that the water around them had settled.
"I like when you hold me like this," Cas said in his low, gravelly voice. "Like if I'm the only precious thing in the world you love."
"You are the only precious thing in the world I love though," Dean smiled into the other man's wet hair just behind his left ear. "And do you know what else you are to me?"
"The king of your heart?" Cas would never forget.
Dean breathed into the angel's neck and smiled. "That too, darling."
When he said it, just that one word, a simple pet name really, Cas melted so much like butter in the hunter's arms, it was beautiful. He softened and relaxed on his knees and when Dean turned Cas' mouth to met him in a deep kiss, he kissed him until a low moan was unearthed. And then, slowly and gently whilst they kissed hungrily, Dean guided himself into Cas for the first time, something he had only dreamt of and longed for so many times before.
Now, when he finally felt how blissful it was to form that intimate connection with his best friend, the one man who he loved more than anything in the world, Dean's eyes leaked hot tears. And Cas…
Cas opened up for him because his mind was in a serene place, his heart had relaxed and was sighing from so much love. His body was melting and he really didn't feel any much discomfort. Not really. Not when Dean held him like a precious jewel and kissed him so deep and slow and hungrily like he wanted to taste him in more than a physical way. And when Dean was fully inside of him, the two of them just savored the moment that was the most magical to them.
It was beautiful and it was real.
"I love you," Dean was slowly becoming lost because Cas' grip on his cock was so deliciously tight and he had never ever experienced something so powerful in his lifetime.
The angel rubbed their noses together, gripping the hunter's right arm with his and planting his other hand firmly on Dean's ass with the other. "I love you too."
"Can you feel me?" Dean asked weakly, moving an inch and immediately receiving his answer when Cas' cock twitched between his hands. It was so intimate for him, and he had no idea how in the world he hadn't done it before.
The angel's chest heaved. "I do."
"How do I feel?" those green eyes fluttered close as Dean began to thrust slowly, inch by inch as he hugged the other man. And the water around them formed into baby waves that flattened out eventually.
"Hot and…" Cas' breath caught in his throat and his knees grew weaker, "…hard. But you feel…amazing. Dean…" he stopped breathing all together when the hunter kept moving inside of him, picking up the pace and jerking him off the same time to match the rhythm. And all he could do was lean his head back onto Dean's right shoulder, and gaze up at the blue sky.
Until he couldn't control the sounds he began to make. The throaty moans and the way his body quivered and convulsed and when both of them began to cry out from the building up of a hot and heavy crescendo, Dean found Cas' parted lips and he kissed him deeply and hungrily again. This time though, they both tried to muffle their hoarse cries from the pleasure rippling through their veins and dizzying their heads. The moment of complete bliss and the feeling of drowning in each other's bodies, pure and raw and sensational.
Cas accommodated all of him, so snugly and so beautifully, it was a moment that Dean would never ever get over. A moment where he could feel every single breath the other man took from holding Cas so tight in his arms. From feeling how his ass tightened and squeezed Dean's cock that was so painfully hard, he was aching for that release. And when he was about to let go, he pulled their lips apart and pressed his trembling ones to the shell of the other man's left ear.
"Cas," he breathed hot and heavy, still thrusting fast and feeling like his entire body was on fire, "let go for me. Darling…" And when Dean felt Cas tighten around his cock, and the angel stiffened in his arms, he came hard inside the other man.
Over and over again, Dean released himself as his hips jerked and his head spun and Cas' cries matched his throaty ones. And yet, Dean still held onto him. He held him and he wouldn't let go and because they had been so wound up for so long, their bodies released and contributed to a blissful moment that lasted for a while. Until there was nothing else but for Cas to weakly turn into Dean's arms and he buried his face into the other man's neck and both of them just floated there.
By the time they were back in the car, in their dry clothes without their boxers though, the silence between them was peaceful. It contained so much love. Literally every second spent inside the car, gazing out at the glassy surface of the lake, they both realized that they had done something that had slowly fixed their pieces back together. And it wasn't just the sex. No. It was so much more for Cas.
"Thank you," he said croaked, with their fingers entwined on the seat.
Dean's eyes fluttered close and he felt…light. He felt complete. "You don't have to, you know."
"I mean…for being so gentle with me," Cas said hoarsely, "you held me until I was calm and then you fucked my voice away."
Dean had to laugh. Baby's engine hummed low. The air was serene. "Man, you're so poetic."
"I'm serious. My throat aches more than my ass. Is that normal?" Cas turned a pair of innocent blue eyes on the hunter. And what he discovered, was a man who was on the verge of biting in a bout of heavy laughter. "Dean. It's not funny!"
"It is!" Dean doubled over onto the steering wheel and laughed until his eyes leaked tears. And then after he cast a look at Cas, the other man chuckled, shaking his head.
"You are such an adorable idiot, Dean Winchester," Cas croaked. "Now, I'll be dreaming about this lake forever."
Suddenly, Dean's eyes lit up and snatching the pocket knife from the glove compartment, he stared at the angel. "Hey, I've got an idea."
"I hate when you get like this," Cas groaned when the other man tugged at his left arm. "You usually get that look in your eyes when you're about to do something really crazy. Dean, what—"
He watched the hunter spring out of the car and jogged to the tree where they had spread the blanket under. It was a large maple tree with a wide trunk. And from under it, Dean beckoned frantically for Cas to join him.
By the time he did join the other man though, his beautiful lover, he discovered that Dean had used the pocket knife to etch his initials into the bark of tree. Then, holding out the knife in Cas' direction, a wide grin spread across the hunter's face. Immediately, Cas caught on and taking the knife, and shaking his head whilst smiling, he carefully carved out a C. Then, when his eyes focused on those incredibly intense green windows to a beautiful soul, Cas continued with a W.
Dean, at first, was so amazed by the decision the other man had taken to use his last name, that he stared back into blue eyes. "Cas," he simply said, losing his breath.
"Have you ever realized that the first letters of our names fall right next to each other on the alphabet? C and D? Coincidental?"
But Dean, after being so mesmerized by everything, even such a small fact, purposely crushed their lips together in a kiss that made Cas squeak. He wound his hand around the angel's waist, pressed Cas into the tree and kissed him deep, so deep that their toes curled in their boots. And under the rustle of the maple tree's leaves, they shared yet another romantic moment that would forever be remembered by them.
That night in the bunker, when the two of them were seated at the map table with a bowl of Lays and dip between them, Dean decided that he would pick up on a hobby of theirs that had been very significant. After all, it was the little things that mattered, and as he parted a copy of Lang Leav's 'Lullabies', he eyed Cas secretly. He stole glances at him, recalling how the copy of the book used to be his companion at nights. Nights when he was peeled into his innermost layer from emotions and was trying to stay afloat.
Sam hadn't shown his face as yet, obviously spending a lot of time with Mala so they had the kind of privacy that was needed. And now, both of them savored it. They loved it. Sitting with each other and merely treasuring the actuality of being together after a long time.
"Three Questions," Dean began and then he cleared his throat when Cas lifted his eyes.
"What was it like to love him? Asked Gratitude.
It was like being exhumed, I answered.
And brought to life in a flash of brilliance.
What was it like to be loved in return? Asked Joy.
It was like being seen after a perpetual darkness, I replied.
To be heard after a lifetime of silence.
What was it like to lose him? Asked Sorrow.
There was a long pause before I responded:
It was like hearing every good-bye ever said to me –
Said all at once."
The silence that came afterwards was consumed with the two of them merely gazing at each other. Then, Cas bit his lips and slowly nodded. He was so impressed that Dean had been reading on his own, and that a poem had resonated with him, that his heart sighed.
"I love you without knowing how", Cas began slowly in that mesmerizing gravelly tone.
"or when,
or from where.
I love you straightforwardly,
without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way than this:
where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep."
And when Cas finished reciting the few lines that always stuck in his heart, a soft tear slipped down his cheek.
"Pablo Neruda," Dean said softly, "how could I forget that one. You were reading it a few days after you came back from Purgatory. On my bed. In the motel. And when I asked you where you got that stupid book from," Dean's voice cracked when he noted that Cas blinked away his tears, "you told me that there was nothing stupid about loving someone. And I had no idea that maybe that someone…was me. How could I have been so stupid?"
Nodding slowly, with his eyes resting on his arms folded on the table, Cas sniffed.
"We could have been together for a long time now," Dean rested the book on the table and really wanted to hold Cas. He wanted to wrap his arms around him and absorb all of his pain. "But anyway, enough sad talk, huh? I wanted to tell you something for a long time now, and I never really found the right time to do it. But I guess it will make you feel loads better. So here goes…"
Cas blinked slowly and waited.
"Remember when you kissed Meg years ago?" Dean's eyes widened a little as he leaned onto the table. When Cas nodded, he shrugged. "Well, some time afterwards, I kind of pulled her in a corner and told her that if she ever did it again, I'd rip her head off and bury it in a tank of holy water," when he noticed the smile widening on the other man's face, Dean slapped his fist down on the table. "And that's why she kept referring to you as my boyfriend afterwards."
"You…" Cas was stunned, "threatened Meg…because I kissed her."
"I did. And I didn't even realize how gay I sounded until afterwards when I was like wait…maybe I sounded totally jealous."
"You were jealous, weren't you?" Cas was fishing,
Dean shrugged, dipped a potato chip into the bowl of salsa and he pushed the entire thing into his mouth. Chewing, the hunter smiled widely.
"You've changed, Dean," Cas said after a while had passed by and they resumed their habitual process of flipping pages of their books at intervals.
The hunter's eyes flicked up and considered the other man briefly before returning to another piece of beautiful poetry. "Is that something good?"
"It is," Cas inhaled deeply and after resting the book upon the table, he leaned forward and gave all his attention to Dean. "You seem so…in control of yourself since I've come back. You've always been in tune with your feelings but now, you're not hesitant in speaking about how you feel. If something is bothering you, you come to me and you talk to me about what it is. And when we went one step further in the lake…"
Green eyes widened a bit from the memory and Dean shifted uncomfortably on his chair. He stared at the book in his lap, willing his body to calm down and to not become aroused from the memories of feeling himself inside of Cas. And knowing now with certainty that it was a contagious feeling. And if he had his way, he would have done it again. And again. Because he wanted to.
"When you asked me how you felt inside of me…" Cas' facial expression was stolid. Although he was evidently as sensitive as the other man in that moment. "I found those lines to be rather…stimulating and sexy and something that colored you as having a very assertive side. We were intimate in bed before…"
"To an extent but never like that," Dean avoided eye contact. Words. He tried to focus on one line of the poem but nothing was sticking to his brain.
"And you've never really been so dominant," Cas swallowed hard, his gaze never leaving the hunter's handsome face. "I'd love to see that side of you as many times as I can—"
"Cas," Dean groaned, slapping the book onto the table. His head lolled to the side. "Come on, man. When you talk like that, it does things to me."
"Like what?" Cas was smirking, so he was clearly aware of the effect his line of conversation had on the other man.
Dean on the other hand, stared back in awe. "Don't make me show you. Cause I can drop my pants and show you exactly what the hell you're doing to me –"
"There's the dominant side," Cas tilted his head and smiled innocently. Arms folded on the table still, he blinked slowly. "Would you really do that though?"
"What?" green eyes widened. "Unzip my pants and fuck you on this table right here?" Slapping a hand onto the surface, Dean inclined his head and winked. "Don't tempt me. But then Sam might walk in and it could be very traumatic for him. Especially if he's bringing Mala."
Impressed by the unfolding of the other man's personality into his old self, Cas merely sat back, arms folded. And he bit his lips.
It was a gesture that didn't quite go unnoticed by Dean, whose eyes flicked to the angel's kissable mouth and suddenly, he was hard in his pants. Suddenly, he realized that there was this aggressive streak that originated from a fire burning within him to literally crawl across the map table. To grab Cas' beautiful face containing his blue, ocean eyes and to crush their lips together.
And Cas…was guiltily reading Dean's mind without even trying. He sat there, sinking into the pit of lust between them and with every ounce of strength he could muster, he remained as still as ever. Composed. Teasing Dean with the sparkle in his eyes and willing him, no, daring him to come over. To lunge like a hungry tiger. To claim what was rightfully his, because after all, every part of Cas belonged to the hunter. And he constantly felt like prey since he had come back. The kind of prey that lurked in the shadows, wildly fascinated by the predator who was searching for his weakest point. And when the opportunity arose, he presented himself to be taken advantage of.
Now though, what remained between them was a space that thickened with passion and so much passing between them in a gaze that deepened. It reached a point where Dean couldn't breathe, and his knees weakened. His chest burned with fire and his mind was spiraling out of control, chasing a fleeting dream of what could happen if he just made that one move.
"I don't we will ever grow weary of each other, Dean," Cas croaked, savoring the beating of his heart and fighting to breathe too. "I don't think…that I will ever stop desiring you in every possible way there is to want you."
"Same," Dean's voice was huskier. "I'd have you for breakfast, lunch and dinner."
Cas swallowed a lump the size of a tennis ball. "And when we grow older? When you age and I don't? Have you thought about how that would work?"
"Do you want me to remind you what goes where?"
Cas stared back at the hunter and was so astonished by how bold his words had become, it was refreshing and at the same time, exhilarating.
"When I get older, I can guarantee you, that you'll keep on being pleased with the service, you wouldn't ever want a refund—"
"Dean," Cas' voice trembled and he breathed through his lips, chest heaving. "Please. If you keep talking to me like that, then you'll have to use that beautiful mouth on me and then we might not get to—"
"Heads up!" Sam suddenly bellowed from above on the landing. "If you're naked, I'm giving you a minute to get dressed and look decent because we have company!"
Rolling his eyes and shaking his head, Dean reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose. "He did it again. He always fucking does it. How? Dammit! Just when we're in the middle of something, he comes barging in like a truck with no concern whatsoever. I hate you, Sam!"
"Hate you too?" Sam edged down the steps with a sheepish Mala in tow. She was clutching a large paper bag obviously containing food.
For the first time, Cas was granted the opportunity to meet the bewitcher of the older Winchester's heart. A beautiful, slender dark-haired Indian girl in her early thirties that had a smile which was so contagious, Cas couldn't decipher any area of disapproval. Especially in relation to her cultural wear; a bright green sari that was trimmed in gold.
"So, this is Dean's boyfriend," Mala eyed Cas from his blue eyes all the way down to his brown shoes. "I can see why he couldn't get over you easily. You're so damn hot, you make peppers look shameful."
When he offered up himself to be hugged warmly, Dean threw him the stink eye and Cas frowned. There was literally nothing wrong with the woman who squished him inside an embrace that felt genuine. So why was Dean so paranoid? Why had he been so investigative and worrisome when Mala presented nothing but a sweet demeanor to match her pretty face?
"Um, so Mala brought over some food for you two," Sam tried, noticing how his brother appeared distant.
"I already ate," Dean turned away and headed towards the kitchen, scratching the back of his neck. "But thanks."
"No, he hasn't," Cas offered Mala a sympathetic look after she seemed wounded by the older Winchester's disapproval. "Thank you. You're so thoughtful," and he collected the paper bag. "I'll be right back." And leaving the War Room, he made his way into the kitchen.
Dean was collecting two beers from the red ice cooler resting on the counter top. He seemed tense all of a sudden. And when Cas' footsteps padded into the room, those green eyes met blue ones.
"You could try."
"I did," Dean offered a constipated look, spreading out his arms. "I said thanks, didn't I?"
"You did," Cas rested a hand on the other man's shoulder and led him further away from the doorway, fearing that their words would drift into the other room. "But I'm usually a very good judge of character and there is nothing off about Mala. In fact, she seems substantially like a good person. And good people are hard to come by."
"Cas, I don't like her," Dean pressed on as they stood in the hallway now facing each other.
"Why? There must be some solid reason why."
For a while, Dean said nothing. He stood there with Cas' hand on his right shoulder and he sighed. And for some odd reason, the angel realized that it wasn't just Mala's character that irked Dean. It was something else. Something that itched Cas mentally and yet he couldn't quite figure it out.
"I mean, don't you see it?" Dean looked pained. He shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe it's just me being stupid."
"Dean, you're not stupid. Everything you say or think or feel, you have valid reasons." Cas squeezed the other man's shoulder. "Tell me what it is about her that troubles you."
For a few seconds, it appeared as if Dean was struggling with his thoughts and then he swallowed hard. "She looks like her. You know…"
Cas frowned. Her? "Who?" he frowned, trying to bat around his brain for an answer.
"Lisa," Dean leaned back onto the wall and avoided eye contact. He felt ashamed of himself for even mentioning such an idiotic thing. "She resembles her and maybe they don't have anything in common but every time I see her, I just keep remembering these painful moments when…and things happened that were always unresolved and—"
"Dean," Cas softly rested his cupped fingers on the hunter's right cheek. He offered a soft look. "There is no need to feel terrible about it. About any of it. It was a long time ago."
"It was, but still Cas…"
"I know," the angel said softly, lightly caressing the other man's face. "You have nothing to feel guilty for. I check up on her and Ben once and awhile. Just because I know that you still care." When Dean stared at him in awe, Cas smiled. "They're doing just fine. She's happy. She's married now and very contented."
"And…Ben?" Dean's voice cracked. He couldn't believe it. He really couldn't believe that Cas had been keeping tabs on two people who had been part of Dean's past. A woman who he had been in love with, maybe during the same time that Cas had been in love with him too. And through it all, to know that Cas had to accept that Dean had wanted to live a life with someone else. To share a home with a woman who wasn't him…
Cas' cupped fingers tucked a few strands of hair behind the hunter's right ear. "Ben has a girlfriend. He plays basketball and he's really good at it. He also gets straight As."
"Atta boy," Dean's eyes glistened with tears. "Cas…"
Green eyes widened a little. "Yes?"
Dean closed the distance between them and wrapped Cas in a tight embrace. By then, the burning need inside of them to screw each other senseless had simmered down and was now replaced by a warm kind of toe-curling love. A fuzzy feeling that spread around in Dean's chest and made him smile into Cas' soft, disheveled hair.
"Thank you for checking up on them," he finally said, never wanting to let go of the one person who would go above and beyond to ensure that he was happy. "That means the world to me."
"Will you give Mala another try?" Cas hugged Dean tighter as they swayed a little on the spot. They fitted so perfectly together. "At least try for Sam. He deserves it after accepting the harsh reality of his best friend and his brother falling in love with each other."
Ten minutes later and Dean bashfully emerged from out of the kitchen and into the war room. Behind him, Cas was setting up their plates of food which was all Indian and home cooked and exactly what they both needed after a long day. And when Dean sat next to his brother around the table, he smiled at Mala because she seemed to really want to get to know him. So, he was willing to try, like Cas had said, for his brother.
"I heard that you're an ACDC fan," she said to Dean all of a sudden, her brown eyes sparkling. "I used to burn out their albums back when I was in high school until my hearing kind of went downhill for a while."
"Yeah?" Dean laughed, "man, I suffered from the same thing a few years back. Listened to 'Hell's Bells' so many times, my ears started ringing."
"Apart from rock, what other singers do you drool over?" Mala's gaze rested on Cas coming out of the kitchen. She liked him already. He seemed so calm and at the same time, fierce and strong.
"He's a major Taylor Swift fan," Sam let out of the bag with a wide grin. He studied the soft pat Cas gave his brother after resting the plate of food in front of him. "And he'll never admit this to anyone really, but he's also wildly into Halsey."
"Halsey is the bomb!" Mala exclaimed, staring in disbelief at Dean who shrugged after taking the first mouthful of dhal, rice and spicy curry. "Have you heard her latest single 'Graveyard'?
"I have listened to that song…like so many times when Cas and I…" his words caught in his throat and instead, Dean chewed slowly.
"Now I need to know what this song is about," Cas' forehead creased and he frowned at the older Winchester. "Is it a sad song, Dean? I hope that it didn't make you cry."
"Not having you made my days rainy but the song hit me to the core, man."
Mala inhaled deeply, chin resting on the palm of her hand, elbow propped on the table. She smiled at Dean and then looked at Sam. "Are they always this adorable?"
"You haven't seen anything yet," the taller Winchester confessed, eyeing his brother with as much satisfaction he could muster up. "Wait till you see them get affectionate with each other. You'll melt for sure."
"Are you done?" Dean glared at Sam.
Cas cleared his throat after the staring match lasted for a full minute. And he turned to Mala. "Naturally, I am inclined to ask you what are your intentions with Sam. Are you seeking a fling or a long term relationship?"
"Dude," Sam goggled at his best friend but Dean snorted.
Mala on the other hand seemed to be quite impressed by the question. "To be honest, Cas. Can I call you Cas?" When the angel nodded, she smiled. "I know that Sam and I come from different backgrounds. I mean, my father was a hunter and he got killed doing what he loved. And ever since he died, my mom kind of pushed that part of our lives to the back burner. But when I met Sam, I finally got to connect with someone who gets me in so many ways. Books, movies, I mean, we can spend hours reading up on stuff that normal people wouldn't even want to research…"
"Go on," Cas narrowed his eyes, trying to appear as if he was analyzing Mala and Dean's cheeks colored pink when he admired how beautiful the other man looked from across the table.
"I guess it depends on how things go. Then I'd know if it's going to be long term. But I'd like that. I really would."
"Shucks," Sam tilted his head, beamed at the ceiling and felt contented. "I share the same sentiments."
"The question is," Mala turned to face Cas by her side and she narrowed her eyes back at him, "what are your intentions with Dean? Are you seeking a fling or a long term relationship?"
Cas didn't skip a beat. "For as long as he'll have me," he said simply.
Mala was impressed with the answer. She sat back and stared. "You know, for an angel, you have the emotional range of a football stadium. It's really something that is amazing. Angels aren't known to feel anything at all. How long have you been in love with Dean?"
"Ten years," Cas admitted openly. Sam nodded and Dean, well he was gazing intently into blue eyes.
"That's a long time, bruh," Mala gasped. She flicked her attention to the older Winchester. "Damn, Dean you're so lucky. You had a guy, no scratch that, an angel waiting around for you for ten damn years. Like no one ever gets that lucky."
"What can I say?" Dean shrugged after he finished clearing his plate. "I'm not that easy to get over and I'm sure as hell not that easy to love either. But Cas, well he knows me better than anyone else. And if there's one thing that I can agree on after all these years, is that I am the luckiest man in the world to have him in my life. Without him…" those green eyes lingered on blue ones, "I'd have probably died from a bullet or at the edge of a blade by now. Heaven knows I can't live without him."
"Wow," Mala said softly, her heart melting. "Best advice?"
"No matter how hard it gets," Dean would not divert his gaze away from Cas, "don't ever let go. Figure it out together."
When Sam realized how bold and composed his brother had become since Cas had come back, he reveled in that. He was somewhat pleased and at the same time, really nervous about one thing; whether Dean's biggest expectation was aligned with Cas' reality. Because Sam was quite aware that his brother had mapped out his future with Cas. Maybe it was the starting point that got Dean back on his feet again after the breakup.
He had devised a plan in case Cas came back. Dean had stuck to that plan and he had gone out there and bought a goddamn ring, even though Sam had expressed his doubts because hey. At the end of the day, Cas was still an angel and even humans had their flaws and could malfunction when certain directions led into a definite future. Maybe, Cas wouldn't be so accepting of a marriage proposal. Maybe he would turn Dean down and perhaps ask Dean to cohabitate the bunker for many years to come.
But Sam knew his brother. He knew that once Dean set his mind on something, he pushed through the rubble and he went for it. And if Cas turned him down, then it would hurt his brother. It would probably wound him on a deeper level and he would live with it, accepting the next best thing. But it would prove to Dean that he had no control over his happiness. And then, maybe Dean would fall down or maybe he would rise up. Who knows?
However, Sam kept thinking about the ring in the red velvet box that Dean had showed him many nights ago. And the tears that were in his brother's eyes when he told Sam that he loved Cas so much that he would risk everything to be with him. And maybe, just maybe, Cas felt the same way. Maybe Cas would jump in. And it was something that Sam hoped for more than even his happiness. Because his brother deserved to be happy.
Suddenly, Dean's mobile started to vibrate on the table next to Cas and he frowned, checking the display. "Nate is calling," he said. "Who is that?"
"Oh, he's just a friend," the hunter said, snatching his phone and ignoring the call. He smiled at Cas. "I'll just call him back later."
Nate…
There was still something about that name that irked Sam. It was like an itch in his brain that needed to be scratched and when he tried to remember where he had heard that name before, Sam suddenly stiffened. Because he kept remembering him and his brother walking into a bar, lit in pink and purplish colors with brown leather cushioned seats. He remembered smelling the fresh polish on those seats. Like new seats. Then there was a man that Dean introduced as his friend.
A handsome black guy with the sweetest smile and the funniest laugh and he was the bartender. After they had sat down to have a round of drinks, Nate had said something which was weird.
"Did Cas come back as yet?
And when Dean shook his head and frowned, Sam asked how Nate knew Cas.
"Oh my buddy here's told me all about the man of his dreams. He said that when the guy comes back, he wants to propose to him in here. In my joint. Now ain't that something special? Now I'm telling you, if you going to do it right, then let me know in advance. So I can set up the private area just back there," Nate gestured to a shadowed corner, "where they be no distractions. And you do your thing."
Sam stared at his brother's laughing profile and he wondered, he really did, if Dean was finally planning to do it. Because if he was going ahead with this, Sam literally felt like he was about to explode with happiness. And when he looked at Mala, well he saw potential. He knew to himself that if his brother was capable of finding love and going as far as proposing, then the same thing was possible for him.
