Chapter 29
It was Sunday. My mother would be at church. I refused to go to church after Caius changed me, for fear that I would burst into flames. Well, not literally, but I did not need to anger God with my mockery. Carlisle insisted on going to an evening mass at Christmas, more out of respect for his mother than anything else. I would agree to go, if I was still here. It is still May, but the odds are several of my clients will still need me. Christmas Mass would not be too unpleasant, out of respect for Carlisle.
I glanced at the clock on my phone. It was 1:55. My stomach growled for lunch, and I should probably indulge it since I denied it breakfast, but my bed was warm and safe. I grabbed my laptop and pulled up the news in Port Angeles. The incident last night was all over the news. According to Peninsula Daily News, his name was Alex White. He was twenty-three years old, and had just graduated from the University of Washington in Seattle last December and moved to Port Angeles to be an accountant.
His friend Mark said, "He was a guy you can have a beer, share a laugh, and just watch sports. He did not want anything from anybody. It is a real shame to lose such a man."
I scowled at the computer. Mark obviously did not know Alex well. Or I am a murderer. I shook the thought away. He was touching me just like Caius was, and if I had not stopped it... But did I need to use such force? He was just a tiny human.
I hung my head in shame. I was a murderer, simple. The only reason why I was not dead myself was that Carlisle had shown mercy.
The doorbell rang. Sighing, I threw the covers off and stood up shakily. Grabbing my wrap, I shuffled towards the door. It opened it slowly and saw Rosalie standing there.
"Hi," I murmured.
"Can I come in?" asked Rose.
"Sure," I shrugged, and shuffled back inside.
I looked at my living room and kitchen. They were clean and neat, but I had been eating on my bed, so it was dirty. Also, I had not showered in twenty-four hours and I was gross.
"You are not answering your phone. What have you been doing?" asked Rosalie.
"Oh, you know, just resting. I went for a run today," I lied, hoping that made me sound less pathetic.
"Alice saw a vision of you looking at the man you killed on the internet," she said with her hands on her hips.
I sighed. "Yes, his name was Alex White. He studied accounting at the University of Washington in Seattle. He was working in Port Angeles at his first job."
"Well, if he would have been a gentleman, he could have had a happy life," said Rosalie stoically.
I looked up at her in shock. "How can you say that? I murdered someone. I am a murderer."
"We settled this," she said sitting down beside me. "We all thought you did something unspeakable, when Alice saw the vision because all she saw saw you killing him. But, then you told us the whole story, and even the werewolves agreed that you were within your rights to take him out. Why are you upset about this?"
Sighing, I looked at her. "When he touched me, my mind went blank. I had a flashback to when Ciaus touched me, when he turned me. Terrified, I wanted to run away from him. But, he had me up against the car, trapping me. The only thought I had was to kill him. If I had been in treatment, if I was receiving help for PTSD besides that one time, I may not have panicked, and I could have taken him down without killing him."
"That is like saying, 'If Jasper had more training around humans, he would not have reacted that way when Bella cut her finger and we would not have left,'. First, your speculating, you might always react that way when men touch you, no matter how much therapy you have. I don't let anyone but Emmett touch me, and that is only when I feel safe. Second, the person you need to blame is the asshole who tried to take something when you said no. You have a right to defend yourself. If you are not supposed to use excessive force, which I don't think you did, then he should not be trying to rape women in a bar's parking lot."
"So you do not think that I am a murder?" I asked.
"Stella, no," she said. "You know, I was turned because I was raped to death by my fiance and his friends. I killed all of them, in my own theatrical way. Carlisle did not reprimand me for it. Also," she paused. "Well, this may not be my place, but Bella had a close call once. She was walking from a bookstore to her friends down the street and she took a wrong turn and about five men jumped her."
"O my God," I said.
"Luckily, Edward was, for a lack of a better word, stalking her, and he convienced the men to back off. He would have killed them, but Bella did not know about us, and there was hope she did not find out. Of course, the same night he told her he read minds, so he might as well have just killed them," she said laughing.
"Edward seems to lose his head around her," I said. I tried to picture aloof Edward stalking a woman then revealing such intimate details to her. He actually has fallen for this creature.
"Yeah."
My stomach growled.
"When was the last time you hunted?" I asked her.
"Thursday."
"Would you like to go snag a few deer. I am starving."
