Happy Valentine's Day to my Lovely Readers! I hope you are all having a great day (whether you have sweethearts or not) and if this day is like mine and you need a little pick-me-up well have no fear! A special early update is here! (WHICH MEANS ANOTHER ONE IS UP TOMORROW, TOO!)

XOXO Ally Layne.

Do Not Go Gentle

Chapter 28: To Forgive or Not To Forgive

After being completely railed over and over again about how dumb I had been by Alma, I finally was able to go to sleep. And like always, there were nightmares that met me as soon as my consciousness slipped away, leaving me stranded in a horrible realm I couldn't escape.

When I awoke to knocks sounding on my door, I didn't care that the moon was still up. Whoever they were, they saved me from a worse fate than waking up too early in the morning.

I slipped on my robe to cover my nightgown that revealed a bit too much skin for my liking. I knew that I had a lot of scars that covered my body. I knew that they should be worn like badges of honor- but I didn't want to deal with that issue just yet.

I was still hooked on thinking about Glorfindel and Mirwen. I bet, just like what had happened before, they had slept together. At the very least, something must have happened because he was willing to go with her in the first place.

I think.

If Glorfindel was here to beg for forgiveness I was so going to kick his ass.

There were three more knocks again on the door, and I hurried my pace and opened it just as the third knock sounded. But it wasn't Glorfindel standing there. I immediately looked down and saw the small form of Varis standing there warily with tears on her face.

My heart immediately went out for the dwarrowdam and threw an arm around her shoulder, dragging her into the room. The sound of her quiet sobs echoed in my ears far louder than the door slamming shut behind me.

I gave her some space once we made it to the living area of my rooms, where a couch and loveseat sat before a fireplace. She took a seat on the loveseat, and not trying to be too forward I ended up seated on the couch.

"I did not know… I did not know who to go to," she cried, shaking her head sullenly as she looked down at her feet. "I am so sorry for waking you!"

"No, Varis, it's okay really," I tried to console her. "Trust me, sometimes it's far better to be awake than deal with the things I see while asleep."

Her red, teary eyes snapped up to peer at me curiously. "Are you a seer, then?"

I let out a soft laugh. "I wish." She then started to retreat back into herself, probably regretting the quick question. "But I do deal with seeing things that have happened in the past, and sometimes other versions of them."

Her sobs quieted, and I noticed her hands shaking in her lap. "You have nightmares, too?"

Is that why she was here?

"Yeah, every night. I don't remember a time when I didn't have one, to be honest," I told her. "Not to say that if you have nightmares that you will never be rid of them- it's just that I guess I haven't gotten that far, yet."

Varis tucked back a loose strand of her fiery hair behind her ear. "Nor have I."

I let out a sigh and silently prayed to the gods that I would say the right thing. "You don't have to deal with them alone, you know. Sometimes it helps to talk about it."

She looked at me oddly. "Then why have I heard you refuse to talk about yours?"

I groaned. "What backstabber friend of mine told you about my issues?"

The dwarf looked at me in shock. "She has stabbed you in the back?"

"Depends on who you're talking about," I muttered. A certain golden-haired elf came to mind, but I quickly pushed that thought to the side. "But I didn't mean literally, where I come from that's just another way to say someone talked about you without your knowledge of it."

She sniffed and nodded to herself as she took in that new information. "Lady Almarian did tell me you were from another world."

I grinned. "Alma was the backstabber?"

Varis let out a low moan and threw her head in her hands. "Lady Almarian is much to gentle to ever stab someone in the back, but yes, she did."

I laughed. "It's only a saying- but I think she's starting to get feistier after meeting me," I admitted. "It's probably a part of the charm."

"I will admit after witnessing you in battle I would not dare cross you, Lady Persephone," she said. "But I do not believe I feel entirely comfortable talking about my dreams either. At least, not yet, anyway."

I smiled knowingly. "It's one thing to have a nightmare and another thing to admit to those nightmares. I understand completely."

"It seems that I am not so far in this process, as well," she mumbled, before letting her body lay back into the cushions. "I do appreciate you letting me come in and talk."

"To be honest, I thought you were someone else." A certain blonde elf, but who's asking? "But I'm glad you came. You can always come and find me if you ever need to speak or just don't want to be alone."

Varis smiled. Her smile was nice. "Thank you."

If there was one reason why I had gone through what I did, I would be pleased if this was it. Talking to Varis made me realize that I really wasn't alone in dealing with this darkness, and helping her seemed to take a weight off my shoulders I didn't know existed. Just seeing a smile light up her face made my day, and the sun had not even risen yet.

We chatted lightly for a few hours before she announced she was now tired and ready to go back to her rooms. I knew there was no way I'd be able to get back to sleep but I was pleased to know our conversations helped her.

I walked her back to where she had been put up, which wasn't very far from my own quarters. I smiled and nodded to a few of the elven guards that were walking their rounds, and if they were surprised to see us they didn't show it.

"You can do this anytime, Varis," I told her as we made it to her door. "Just come and knock and I'll always be here."

She grinned. "I will keep that in mind."

After that, she opened the door and disappeared back into her room with one last smile. It was then I discovered I had made another long-lasting friendship and a pleasant feeling wormed its way into my heart.

The way back to my rooms was lost in my own mind, thinking over the conversation I had with Varis. She never did actually tell me what she was dreaming about, but considering her mother had just died in an orc raid I would assume that was a part of it.

But if that was it, I was there so why wouldn't she tell me?

Oh well. That's another thing to worry about at another time.

When I made it back to my rooms, I was greeted by probably second to the last person I had wanted to see. The first was Mirwen, so I think you could probably guess who this person was.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, looking into his whirling blue eyes with anger broiling in my stomach.

At least the golden warrior had the intelligence to look sorry for his actions, if the hurt-puppy look on his face was anything to go by. "Persephone-"

I glared at him, cutting him off immediately. Any feeling of nervousness I had upon this encounter washed away. However, this wasn't something I wanted to do in my robe.

So, doing what any other woman would do in my situation, with the hauteur of a queen I kept my chin up and walked past him with my shoulders back so far I knew if Lady Hiriel could see me she would be proud.

"Please, Nemir, I am so sorry-"

I opened the door and whirled around to let him see the wrath of my glare. "Please, do shut up, Lord Glorfindel."

He flinched, but I didn't feel any trace of remorse. That was one of the only times I had ever called him by his proper name and title, after all. And to only add to this painful encounter for him, I slammed the door in his face.

Upon the door being shut, I let a small smile come to my face. Yes, that was what he deserved. Was I going to make him wait forever? Of course not. But I wasn't going to let him back in so easily.

I marched over to the wardrobe and let the robe I wore slip off my shoulders and pool onto the ground. I quickly put on a blue tunic and some dark riding pants with my boots, and just in case he decided to walk in I made sure my body wasn't seen by the doorway.

After that, I quickly started to pull my hair back into a french braid and tied it off nicely with a small strip of leather.

A knock sounded on the door. That was quicker than I had expected.

All of a sudden, the door opened and I quickly shifted a nasty snarl onto my face. "Who do you think you are- oh, hi Gerds!"

My look transformed into a smile and I kind of pitied my poor friend who was standing there looking between Glorfindel and me in shock. However, her dark eyes looked at him steely as she waltzed into the room and slammed the door in his face.

Who was this and what happened to Gerda?

"I heard what happened from Lady Almarian," she explained, noticing that I was staring in shock at her uncharacteristic act. "He had no right to treat you that way, Persie. If you need me to remove him I will."

I blinked. The thought of seeing Gerda firmly trying to remove the renowned warrior was admittingly an odd one. But I did think about it.

"No, that will be fine, Gerds," I told her. "I should probably talk to him anyway."

Her eyebrows raised. "I will admit that I did not expect you to be so civil with him right away, Persie. I almost thought you might seek vengeance."

I grinned at her wickedly. "Who says I'm not out for revenge?"

She let out a sigh and quickly made her way over to the bed to start stripping the sheets to wash as she did. "And to think I was going to praise your growth and maturity."

"Stop nagging me, Gerds. It's not like you're not secretly hoping I'm going to do something to get back at him," I coaxed. "I bet if I didn't you or Alma would have done something instead."

The elleth in question looked at me crossly. "It sometimes irritates me that you know me so well. But then I remember how much I value your friendship and it does not bother me."

I laughed. "I'm glad you like me, or then you'd probably kill me?"

Gerda shrugged ominously as she finished grabbing the laundry. "Perhaps."

I choked. "Wait, what?"

She smiled widely and started to head to the door, completely ignoring my question. "I will go bring these to wash, as I can see you have dressed yourself today." She stopped and turned to give me another look over. "Although I would not have chosen that outfit for you, I suppose it will do for today."

I groaned. "Stop nagging me!"

Her laughter chimed throughout the room, and she opened the door. Glorfindel was still standing there, his eyes sad but I could see hope still remained. Gerda gave him one glance, huffed, and walked out.

I walked over to the doorway and held the door open for him. "Come in, we need to talk."

The elf sucked in a harsh breath but smartly abided by my words. He walked in slowly, and I could see his right palm rubbing the side of his trousers.

Good. He was nervous.

I turned my back to him as I closed the door slowly, and allowed myself to take a deep breath in composure. This was going to be okay, he wouldn't throw this all away for her… would he? I mean, he did just apologize…

"Persephone… I am so very sorry," his voice rang out, and I halted in my place.

Due to my silence, he continued, "I should not have done what I did, and I have come to apologize for my misdeeds."

I could hear a slight waver in his voice and refrained from saying anything in return. He deserved a little bit of a cold shoulder, didn't he?

He let out a long, deep sigh. I didn't have to be looking at him to know he had just run his hand through his hair. "I swear I meant no ill will toward you when I left with the Lady Mirwen, I only thought you must not have wanted me to stay if you did not fight back against her. I appear to have read that wrong."

I pursed my lips. That's what I get for trying to be the bigger person. I heard two footsteps come toward me, but I crossed my arms and he stopped in his place.

Good. He knew I wasn't happy.

Because I wasn't.

Nope.

Even though the hurt-puppy look on him looked good enough to eat, I still wasn't happy.

And even though his voice was making me want to turn around and jump in his arms for comfort, I so wasn't going to do that.

He took a deep breath. "Please, will you just look at me? Am I that despicable to you where you cannot bear to even lay eyes upon my face?"

Actually, if I looked at him I think I would instantly forgive the guy, but he didn't need to know that.

"I should not have gone with her, I know that now. Even after I went with her it did not last as long as you may think, I instantly told her never to treat you as such again and left her at her mother's rooms. I never would… I never would try to hurt you like that, Persephone. Please, believe me."

My heart lurched in my chest as his voice became choked up. But still, I said nothing.

"The last time I was ever… with her was long ago, and my heart was never in it, I swear. Even though we are friends, I never could have thought of her the way I think of you."

I closed my eyes and felt my cheeks tighten as I tried to not smile at that.

"Please, Persephone, will you please just say something? Have I lost you for good?"

He sounded so heartbroken that I knew without a shadow of a doubt he was telling me the truth.

"Dammit, Persephone! Say something!"

I whirled around on my heel to glare at him. "Don't yell at me like that, Goldfish!"

His eyes, gods help him, spoke so much more to me at that moment than all of the words he had said combined. They were lined with red, and I could see faint dark spots shadowing his eyes.

I guess he had suffered enough.

"Look," he perked up at the sound of my voice not yelling at him. "I was so angry with you, Glorfindel. I trusted you, and it was so maddening that you were willing to leave to go off with Mirwen and skip out on the plans we made."

I felt tears start to pool in my eyes, and immediately continued when I saw his mouth open to interrupt, "No, just let me speak. I was so mad that you would go off with her and just leave me like that. You're one of the people I trust the most in this world, and you just left me."

Glorfindel's frown deepened, and that was the tipping point for me as tears started to stream from my overflowing eyes.

At the sight of my tears, he immediately was right in front of me and wiping them away with his thumbs. "I am so sorry, Nemir. I should never have left you."

I choked out a wet laugh. "No, you shouldn't have."

My laughter, even though it was teary, seemed to have taken the heavy weight off his shoulders which he bore. He rested his forehead against mine with a sigh of relief.

"I want to make it up to you," he voiced, and I could feel the air puffing out of his lips as it met my skin. "Let me make this up to you, Nemir."

The way he said my nickname sent shivers down my spine. "You don't have to, Goldilocks, I forgive you."

As soon as those words were out of my mouth, I was pulled into his strong arms for a hug. "We are going out for breakfast, either way." He pulled away, but still held me at arm's length and grinned. "You are going to need to grab your cloak and meet me at the front of the stables. I am taking you out just as I should have last eve."

I looked up at him in shock. "Uh, okay?"

He barked out a loud laugh. "You will enjoy it, Nemir, do not worry."

My eyebrows lifted. "Well, okay then."

Glorfindel laughed once more and pulled me in for another embrace. "I am so thankful to have you, Nemir. I swear I will never do something to drive you away again."

I did my best to hide the blush that arose from his lips moving against my head. "Whatever you say, Goldilocks. I'll meet you at the stables."

He smiled at me again and hurried to the door as though he was a new man. He threw me one last rugged grin before leaving the room, and I could barely contain myself as I nearly swooned. That elf was going to be the death of me, I just knew it.