I finish loading the dishwasher after lunch, and the boys are all in the dining room reading. Well, Heath and Ben are reading. Bennett is studying vocabulary words. I might not be good at math, but I'm damn sure good at English and literature.

Three boys.

And two are named after literary characters.

One of them after a scientist.

Pretty sure that puts me on the leaderboard.

I miss the days when they would all take a nap after lunch. Mostly, I miss being able to take a nap. I'm trying not to be selfish, especially knowing what Edward must be going through at the hospital. I love him for what he does for our family, and right now, everyone else. But I just miss him, and doing this whole quarantine thing without him right now is hard.

It doesn't help that I'm worried about his health and safety. Everything is so uncertain and scary. We don't have enough information, and the doctors and nurses are doing the best that they can with limited resources, and I know Edwards hates not having enough information.

It's probably killing him.

I wash my hands, counting to thirty as I scrub them. Smiling, I think about the time I argued with Edward that every website in the world says that twenty seconds is long enough, but he told me that it was "at least twenty seconds, and ten more seconds certainly wouldn't hurt." Then, he talked about the importance of good hygiene, and how cleanliness is next to godliness, even though godliness wasn't founded in scientific fact, and yeah...it's just easier to count to thirty.

Seriously.

I miss him.

I'm drying my hands when my phone alerts me to facetime.

Esme.

"Hey, Esme," I say, as I pick up the phone. I can't ignore her anymore because she knows I'm not out doing anything else.

"Bella, dear," she says, taking a sip of what I'm guessing is her second or third afternoon martini. "Did you see what the orange buffoon said during the press conference?"

"You know the kids are home, Esme, and Edward doesn't want them listening to that man."

She nods knowingly. "It's just as well. He's just so...ugh! I can't believe anyone would've been stupid enough to have voted for this asshole!" She takes another drink. "No offense to your father."

I smile. "You know I don't agree with my father."

"Oh, I know, dear. It's just…I don't know how someone as bright and lovely and liberal as you came from that man!"

"You've met my mother," I tell her. "I like to think I'm the best of both of them."

"I'm sorry," she continues, taking another drink, "but if Carlisle had voted for that asshole, it would have ended in divorce. I don't care how big his di-"

"Esme!" I interrupt, blushing all the way up to my hairline. You would think after all these years, I'd be used to this, but I'm definitely not. I'm not sure that anyone could get used to knowing as much as I know about my in-law's sex lives. Jesus. "The kids are just in the dining room! They might hear you!"

She has the wherewithal to look contrite, so maybe she's only on her second martini and not her third.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry! I wasn't thinking," she says before lowering her voice to a whisper. "We should come up with a code word for a-s-s-h-o-l-e," she spells, "because what else am I supposed to call that racist, spineless dick?"

Definitely her third martini.

"Okay, well, I need to go. Alice and Jasper are going to be here in a little while with Dalai, and I still need to get their rooms ready."

"Yes, yes," she says. "We asked them if they wanted to come here, but Dalai said that my house was boring without her cousins. I do wish that we could all quarantine together. Family should really be together in troubling times like these."

I feel guilty.

I wonder if I should invite them over, but I'm honestly at my limit with the idea of eight people in my house. I'll ask Edward what he thinks when he gets home.

Besides, I'm not sure I have enough vodka to last through the lockdown with Esme.

"We love you," I tell her honestly. "I'm hoping Edward will be home soon, and when he gets here, I'll ask-"

"Gotta go," she says. "Joy Reid is about to break down what an idiot the racist a-s-s-h-o-l-e is."

She disconnects before I can say goodbye.

"Mom," Bennett yells from the dining room.

I walk over to the door to check in on my boys. "Bennett, you know we don't yell in the house."

"Ella and Garrett yell in their house all the time."

"Are we at their house?" I ask. Because, I mean, what else am I supposed to say? Rosalie and Emmett, as much as I love our best friends, live life thirty decibels above everyone else.

"Can we go over to their house?" he asks.

"We talked about this, remember?" I tell him, walking over and squatting down next to his chair. "We have to stay home right now because people are getting sick, and Mommy and Daddy don't want you or your brothers to get sick. So, that's why we're doing schoolwork here, and why we can't go over to Ella and Garrett's house."

"But it's right next door!" he whines. "I'm bored."

"What about your vocabulary words?"

"Vocabulary words are boring," he huffs. "It's never boring at Uncle Emmett's. They don't have a schedule after school and on the weekends, or have to do science experiments unless it's for school. And they never make you disinfect toys when you bring them in from the outside, or take a shower before you get in the pool. Plus, they never make you wash your hands before you open the refrigerator, and they let you drink soda and eat all the candy and Doritos you want. We never have Doritos."

"I know, but we still can't go. I'm really sorry."

"I want to watch Frozen 2."

"You already watched it once today," I tell him, trying not to get irritated. "Maybe later."

"When is Dad coming home?"

"Soon."

"How soon?"

That's a really good question.

"Soon, soon," I tell him, then kiss him on his head. "And Dalai will be here this evening with Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper. They're gonna stay with us for a while. Doesn't that sound fun?"

"Yessssss," he says excitedly. "Dad's face always turns super red like he's holding his breath for a really long time whenever Uncle Jasper talks about stuff, and I think it's really funny. Like that one time when he tried to get dad to let him line up his shockers."

"Align his chakras?"

"Yeah, that." He nods excitedly. "I love when Uncle Jasper comes over!"

"Me, too, buddy."

"Do you think Dad will ever have a pony tail like Uncle Jasper?"

I snort loudly at the thought. "No, buddy. I don't think your dad would ever want a pony tail."

"Do you think he would let me get one?" he asks sincerely. "Or maybe a braid like Elsa's?"

I smile at my beautiful boy with perfectly cropped hair that looks a lot like his father's. "I think your dad would let you do anything that made you happy."

I smile, knowing that Edward actually would let his children do whatever made them happy as long as it was healthy and safe, and that makes me miss him even more.

"I'm hungry," he says, completely shifting gears.

"You just had lunch."

"But I'm hungryyyyy."

"Do you want an apple?" I ask, standing up and heading to the kitchen.

"No."

"Some berries?"

"No."

"I'm sorry, but those are your only options."

"Can we have ice cream?"

"No."

I look up and Bennett is standing in the kitchen.

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"One more question."

"Shoot, buddy."

"What's a racist, spineless dick?"

Fuck.

Edward had better be home soon.

A/N

Love y'all.

Hope this is bringing you some much needed laughs while we're all going through this.

Reviews are love.

xoxo,

cosmo and marvar