Jeyna looks at him before lowering back down against the pillow to stare at the ceiling in disbelief. "It's been thousands of years…"
He sighs, dropping his hand to rest against her stomach, the black leather a stark contrast against the white patient clothes. "I know. It felt strange, like the consciousness was disconnected…"
"Disconnected how?" she presses, trying to understand. He shakes his head once.
"I can't say. It was bridging a gap, but I can't imagine how or what that gap might be. I've never felt anything like it," Ben tries to explain.
"Then we need to figure out what the last planet is. We'll go there and get the last piece of the map," Jeyna says definitively. She's expecting his anger to return, the dents in the wall a visible reminder of his recent temper. But instead he stays calm, his eyes merely searching hers.
After a moment, he drops his head, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. She barely hears his words, muffled against her, as he grumbles, "Wouldn't you rather go back to the planet with the beach?"
She can't stop the smile from curving her lips at the small sign of his humor emerging. She had no idea it had been lurking there all along. What other parts of his personality were buried, waiting to be revealed?
"You wear too many clothes for the beach," she replies, scanning the small hospital bed they are practically spilling out of. Her bare feet look bizarrely juxtaposed, resting against his black clad legs.
"I could be persuaded out of them," he retorts softly. His hand inches lower, fingers grazing the exposed slice of skin between her shirt and bottoms. The touch is light and teasing, and she has to fight the desire to relax under it and entertain his suggestion.
"If we find the destination of the map, you can stop whoever's been putting voices into your mind. Don't you want it to end? Your brain can be yours, only yours," she argues. Surely he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life fighting off invasive thoughts, questioning which belong to him and which don't?
His hair tickles her skin as he nuzzles closer to her neck. "Not if it means you getting any closer to who hurt you." His lips trail her skin slowly, playing on the flesh, sending a shooting sensation up her spine.
She sighs in exasperation at his attempts to distract her. "You always ask if I trust you. Shouldn't that mean you try to trust me, too?"
He doesn't answer, his mouth still busy as his hand drifts fully under her shirt. "Ben," she presses, grabbing his hand to hold it still. "If you trust me, you have to believe me. I don't think he will harm me again. I think the vision was real. We have to find him, whoever he is." She is still unwilling to believe Revan could be alive after so long, the idea too far fetched for reason. But if the dream was some sort of terrifying prophesy about the end of the galaxy, how could he expect her to ignore it?
His sigh is defeated as he pulls away. "I'm going to be very tempted to murder him, out of sheer frustration."
She smiles at his dramatic statement, but she doesn't have a chance to reply before he grabs her hands, trapping them against the mattress as he moves to straddle her.
"What's to stop me from dragging you out of here, and taking you anywhere I like?" he asks. His voice is threatening, even as his eyes show the playful nature of the question. He bends down to press a quick kiss to her before suggesting, lips lingering close enough to tease hers, "I could lock you up, somewhere safe, and throw away the key."
His deep voice is rough, and her body responds with instinctive excitement. She tests her hands, and he grips them tighter, not allowing her to move beyond a slight struggle. The sensation thrills her, and she swallows heavily, her head spinning with the effort to stay focused. "You wouldn't."
"No? Why not?" Ben demands. She is quiet for a moment, enjoying the feeling of him on top of her, holding her down. Their lips brush once more before she replies.
"Because you love me," she whispers. He tilts back from her face, and she catches his gaze with hers. Honey brown, emotional, beautiful.
"I know," he admits quietly.
Minutes Later
She walks out of the refresher wearing standard issue clothing and boots, the items much more substantial than the flimsy clothing he'd half ripped from her body. Ben's waiting by the door for her, and glances up at the sound of her emerging.
"We can head to my ship," he admits. "I'm fairly certain I already know where we are going."
Jeyna frowns as she joins him by the door. She isn't imagining that he looks a little guilty. "What? How?"
"You said a name, before you lost consciousness. Nathema," he explains. The sound of the name makes her stomach lurch ominously, even as she has no recollection of saying it herself.
"Why didn't you mention that earlier?" she wonders.
"I was still hoping I could talk you out of it," Ben says, dropping his eyes to examine his hands.
"I've never heard of a planet called Nathema," Jeyna says slowly.
"I hadn't either, and there was no record of it in any standard databases. But I recalled hearing it in your memory. They asked about it during your interrogation."
She frowns, struggling to remember. Their questions had blurred together after so long without sleep or food. "So how do we find it?" she asks.
"I found a general location," he replies. "It was in restricted archives, only Snoke would have had access to them. It looks like all mention of the planet was erased from public records a long time ago."
Her stomach manages to sink even lower, a bad feeling crawling into her mind. Why would an entire planet's existence be wiped from public record? And how could it be connected to Revan?
"Are you sure this is what you want to do?" Ben asks gently. She looks up at his face, and for a moment she wants to back out, fear taking over briefly. But she forces it down, nodding. She won't stop now. She can feel something, tugging her forward. She isn't sure if it is fate, or the force, or the person who had planted the dream in her mind. But something is urging her onwards.
He looks tempted to argue for a moment, but visibly stops himself. He reaches to brush her hair back behind her ear, a sad smile gracing his lips for a moment.
"Then let's go," he sighs. He opens the door, and Jeyna is about to follow him before she realizes he's left his helmet, forgotten on the floor by the bed.
"Wait! Your mask!" she says, grabbing his arm to stop him from exiting the room. He pauses, his gaze flickering from her face to drop down to the mask. The bright lights of the room glare off the metal.
When he looks back at her, she is again struck by the calmness of his energy, the quiet confidence that now fills his eyes. "I don't need it," he assures her. Her lips part in surprise, even as he takes her hand to pull her from the room.
They see the nurse down the hallway. She freezes as they pass, her mouth dropping open at the sight of Kylo Ren unmasked. Jeyna glances back, the other woman is staring after them, her hand rising to cover her still gaping mouth.
Ben's hand squeezes hers, and she looks back forward, unable to stop the happiness that fills her chest at the feeling of his hand holding hers as he leads them forward. Whatever is ahead, at least she'll face it with him.
Aboard the Command Shuttle
Jeyna joins him in the cockpit of his shuttle, surprised to see both HK and an astromech droid as they pass through the hold. She settles into a seat near the navigation chart as he primes the shuttle to take off and double checks their hyperspace routes.
"We're taking HK?" she asks curiously.
"It's an assassin droid, so it's combat ready. And for the time being, you're its master. I figured it might be good to have around, if something happened," he says.
The ship jerks slightly as they lift up from the floor of the hangar bay. She watches as he guides them out into space, and away from the control center full of First Order officers. They'd barely contained their shocked stares as their Supreme Leader had given them his departing orders, bold even without his mask to hide behind.
"Are we planning on something happening?" Jeyna asks after a moment.
"It's smart to have backup plans," he says dismissively. "If something happens to me, the astromech is capable of piloting the shuttle. It will answer to you."
They jump to hyperspace as he speaks, and Jeyna turns her eyes from the blur of lights beyond the viewport.
"There are no routes directly to where we need to go," he continues speaking as she eventually closes her eyes, fighting the dizziness hyperspace always brings her. "I know it's in the Chorlian sector, but beyond that we'll have to find it the old-fashioned way. The astromech can scan for us, but it might take a while."
"Should we have brought the Knights?" The thought turns her stomach, which only furthers her current state of nausea. But perhaps they would be helpful, if he is concerned about the mission becoming dangerous.
She hears his seat move as he switches the ship to autopilot. "I don't think I can trust the Knights any longer."
She snaps her eyes open as he sits in the navigation seat across from her. "Because of me?" she asks, guilt flooding her.
"No," Ben denies immediately. "They are loyal to the dark side. It was only a matter of time before they felt the conflict within me."
She drops her eyes to look at the floor, still feeling partially responsible. Had they caught a glimpse into his mind when he was distracted with her? "How did you do it?" she blurts out suddenly, speaking before her mind can fully form the question.
He raises an eyebrow slightly. "Do what?"
She doesn't know how to explain her question further. How had he managed to devote himself to the darkness for so long, despite the strength of the light she'd glimpsed in him? How had he fooled the Knights, and hidden his true nature for years?
The ship jerks as they fall out of hyperspace, but neither of them moves. Before she can attempt to rephrase, he must understand her thoughts. "It was all I had," Ben says quietly. She searches his face, but he doesn't meet her gaze. "The dark side wanted me."
Her heart aches at the implication of his words. She tries to stop her thoughts, but they instantly go to Leia, the pain in her voice as she spoke about her son. Jeyna can't help but imagine Leia's past, a mother sending her child off in hopes of him learning to use his powers. She'd wanted him to become a Jedi, and instead she'd lost him to the darkness. If Ben could see the memory now, hear how Leia had spoken of him, wouldn't he know his mother wanted him back?
But as Jeyna continues watching him, she realizes he's distracted. His head is cocked slightly, the way it is when he is detecting something beyond her senses.
"What is it…?" she asks tentatively.
His eyelids fall closed, a hand reaching out into the air. She watches as his fingers spread slowly, before curling into a fist. Her curiosity grows as he remains silent, frozen like that.
When his eyes snap open and he jerks backward, she flinches. "What's wrong!?" she exclaims.
His expression darkens, his face tightening. "Luke."
Her eyes widen with confusion. "What about him?"
"I haven't been able to feel him for years. He's hidden from me," he explains. His voice is low, and strained with repressed emotion. "But he's reaching out now. He's searching for me."
