*Last time on WO: Rey is up and walking by herself, and discovers how dry some of the Jedi texts are, along with the helpful or interesting. (And she pinches Ben's booty.)*
The next month and half passed in much the same way. They spend the mornings in meditation with Luke and the other students, then breakfast all together-outside if the weather was cooperating- then poring over texts with little luck until lunch. After Ben and Rey took walks around the grounds, she loved being out in the forest. She loved to kiss him up against those trees, or sitting on the forest floor. Or anywhere really. Their lips were drawn to each other, and they had each other's memories. Rey felt such a sense of pride and power whenever she made him moan, and when he was hard against her stomach or her thighs.
They were coming back from one such walk and make out session, and came out of the woods once Ben had control of himself again.
"What is their deal?" Rey snapped.
Ben was surprised that she hadn't mentioned it before, but he was hoping that she just didn't notice. She did, of course. Ben had been ignoring his classmates for years, they were always whispering when they saw him, and steering clear. Now, they eyed Rey with speculation, and Ben hated them for it. Rey had chalked it up at first to her being an older person, all of the sudden joining classes-that she could understand. But she'd begun to hear Ben's name too often now. Rey wasn't sure if they thought they were being discreet or if they were doing it to get under either her own skin, or Ben's.
"They've never liked me. Maybe because I'm related to Luke as their Master. Or because of my parent's legacy. There have always been rumors that I'm dark. My temper and all my loss of control doesn't help that, nor the fact that Luke won't let me train one on one with the younger students," he sighed wondering if he should continue. "The girls think I'm an ugly freak. They tell me often enough out loud, and I hear it doubly behind their hands when they whisper. The boys just want to fight me, to prove some sort of point. I never go full out because I don't want to lose control, so that just reinforces that I'm a failure. It's some kind of twisted pride they get when they make Ben Solo bleed." He hung his head, and wondered what Rey would think of him.
She's going to get tired of you, you know. You're broken. You let those boys best you and those girls get to you. I can give you power. You have enough power now to crush them. Do it. Do it now. Show the girl how strong you are. Bring her to me, she'll come with you now, willingly, but she will change her mind eventually. Ben slammed the walls down, the headache forming quickly behind his eyes. He took deep breaths, focusing on keeping his lunch where it was, not reappearing on the ground. It passed and he looked at Rey.
Miraculously she seemed to miss the struggle and the darkness. But the bond was filled with righteous anger. Rey dropped his hands, and marched towards the group of girls across the way. Ben tried to gently steer her way, but she shook him off. He followed at a distance. He had no clue what she had in mind, but he wanted to go along for the ride.
"Got something to say?" Rey demanded getting up in Lara's face. Ben didn't know if Rey was aware she was the ringleader, or just the first one she reached. It was Asuaro's girl, the guy who had fought him when Ben lost control, not only with Asuaro but with his own blade.
"Just wondering what you see in him, I guess," Lara replied flippantly. "Where did you come from anyways? We've been wondering where Master Luke drug you in from. Wherever it is, doesn't look like you were treated well. Though, I guess that your scars are a great partner for Ben. He has them everywhere, he carves his arms up, did you know? But he doesn't have them on his chest, though, you're not matching there. Plenty of time for him to fix that though," Lara waved vaguely at Rey's chest, where the scars from where she'd clawed herself when the darkness got the better of her. Rey yanked her robes closed, but advanced even more on Lara.
"What happened to you?" Rey said, her voice low. Almost compassionately in a weird way.
"What do you mean? Nothing, I have parents who love me, and aren't terrified of me. I'm beautiful, and I have a boyfriend who isn't a freak."
"I just figured something bad must have happened to you to make you so cruel, so blind, and clueless about life. And people, for that matter. That man," she said, pointing back at Ben, "is the smartest, kindest person I know. And I think that you are just jealous. Ben is more handsome than your boyfriend could ever hope to be. More powerful too, more light and control of the Force in his pinky than you," she said, gestures to the gathered group, "will ever hope to have in your whole life. Oh, and tell your friends who aren't here-he is the most amazing kisser you will ever hope to find." Rey turned, leaving Lara and her friends gaping as she walked away. For good measure, when she reached Ben, she tugged his mouth down to hers and kissed him slow and gentle, cupping her hands around his face.
Ben was flabbergasted and pretty sure he fell even more in love with her right in that moment. When she pulled away, she took his hand and led him back into the academy. Once they were through the doors, she slumped against the wall. Her emotions through the bond were all over the place. Ben sat beside her, and put his arm around her shoulders and pressed her into his side.
"That was… amazing Rey. You didn't have to though. I've gotten good at ignoring it," he said softly, still rather in awe. Then he traced a finger down the side of her face. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I guess the part about the parents hit me hard," she said. Then so softly that Ben had to strain to hear her. "And the part about her being beautiful, and that I'm not. With my scars and lack of curves from being so hungry most of my life. You deserve someone as beautiful as you are handsome."
"Rey, look at me," Ben ordered. He waited until she met his eyes before he kept speaking. "I think you are The. Most. beautiful. Woman. I have ever seen." He kissed her forehead. "I don't notice your scars are signs you are a fighter, survivor, and strong beyond belief. They don't take away anything from you being gorgeous. Does mine bother you?"
Rey started and frowned. "No. Not at all." She lifted his arms and traced the deepest one. "Not the way that you think anyways. I wish that you wouldn't have been is so much pain, or that the darkness, that stupid Sith wouldn't make us lose our sanity, no matter how briefly."
His head was still throbbing, and he tried to push it away. But Rey noticed. "Again? I didn't even notice. I was too wrapped up. I'm sorry. I could have helped." She opened the bond wide, and mentally soothed the bond, sending icy healing directly where she felt the darkness latched on. "Is that better?" she asked, her voice sad.
"Yes," he responded. It really was but he still felt off. Distracted and antsy. She got up and settled on his lap, facing him. Ben swallowed thickly. This was new. Rey traced the curve of his ear, down his jaw, then rubbed his neck, larger circles at first, then smaller. He shivered and pulled her in for a kiss.
It didn't last long. They had both forgotten, or else didn't care that they were in the middle of a hallway. "Geez, no one wants to see you make babies, Solo. They'd be too freaky, too unnatural to let live," another padawan around their age sneered, and kicked at Ben's foot. Rage filled him, and he got up hurriedly placing Rey on her feet and advancing towards Jianyang.
"It's one thing to insult me, but that is my girl. Apologize, and get out!" Ben was in Jianyang's face, his eyes dark with rage. Jianyang was silent a beat too long, and when Ben raised his clenched fist, Jianyang wisely looked terrified.
Rey sent a wave of calm towards Ben. She was worried, it wasn't even an hour ago that the voice was taunting him, and Rey knew that anger and insecurity were huge ways he was vulnerable to the Sith getting in his head. Rey sprinted over to Ben and laid a gentle hand on his arm that he wasn't about to pummel the boy with. Ben shrugged her off, not gently. But he shook his head and seemed to come to his senses. He dropped his fist, but stayed in Jianyang's space.
"Look, sorry man. Just joking," he replied, only barely keeping the tremor from his voice.
"Not me, you nerfherder. Rey," Ben gritted out.
"Oh, right. You're right. Rey, uh, I didn't mean to insult your baby. Umm, your future babies. Or you. Or your family. Are you pregnant? Of course you aren't. I mean, you and Ben would obviously be able to make a baby. A beautiful baby..."
"Oh, Force, shut up you e chu ta. Go," Ben seethed.
Jianyang turned and sprinted out of sight, nearly losing his balance as he slid around the corner.
Rey giggled. She felt slightly off balance, but had found the exchange quite hilarious. Except the part about Ben nearly smashing in his face. Or what the padawan said in the first place. That sobered her a bit until she remembered the blubbering idiot asking if she was pregnant, and then complimenting their future babies. She snickered again.
Ben's face was calm again as he met Rey's eyes. "Something funny?"
Rey tried to go for serious saying "I think that Jianyang wants to meet our beautiful baby one day. We should invite him to the naming ceremony."
Ben just shook his head and gave her a soft smile. "We would you know," he said.
"We would what?" Rey said, still trying to stifle her chuckles.
"Make beautiful children," Ben answered, giving her a kiss on her cheek.
Rey's laughter stopped, and she looked up at him, marveling. "I didn't realize you could have more than one child, and sometimes not even that without dying. And I don't want that…" Rey trailed off.
"Oh, sweet Rey. It's only in places like Jakku that it is so harsh and nearly impossible to survive for a mother that having children puts them both at risk like that."
"Oh. That makes sense," she answered quietly. She hated when she said something like that-what she thought were given facts of life-and it just reinforced the image that she was unintelligent and a nobody.
Ben felt the humiliation, sadness and a twinge of something that felt like defeat through the bond and he wanted to smack himself. He never phrased things like that right, when he heard things that made him so sad. He knew that she didn't like pity so he tried not to go for that approach either. He wasn't sure what to make it any better, so he settled for sending a wave of comfort laced with apology. She gave him a weak smile, and started walking back to her rooms. Ben's head started aching again, even though he felt no danger from the voice. Just a sense of discomfort and disappointment in himself.
"I'm going to shower, can I meet you for dinner in a bit?" Rey asked when they reached her door. Ben nodded, as much as he wanted to stay, it did sound like a good idea.
The walk back to his room felt longer than normal, which he supposed was true because he was slowed down thanks to his headache. He took a capsule and stood under the steam for awhile until the pounding slowed almost completely, and he didn't feel like he was on the edge of vomiting.
Feeling better, he began to clean his hair when the tug of the bond startled him. He scanned her emotions but felt nothing out of the ordinary, so he continued. But when he opened his eyes again, he wasn't in his shower anymore. He was in Rey's. And Force, she was naked. And soaped up, slick and delicious looking. He snapped his eyes away, he didn't want to invade her privacy. She didn't seem to be aware of him, and he briefly wondered if she were sleeping, or maybe he was dreaming. He'd witnessed her dream of him kissing her, but then he'd been an outsider, watching but not interacting. Here, he could smell her shampoo and feel the droplets of water spraying him. He felt a sense of panic to return to his own shower before she found him there and kicked his ass, or worse. Or maybe she would embrace him and kiss him. Kriff, don't think about that. I need to be back in my shower. Ben thought to himself, trying to picture the four walls of his own fresher, while fighting not to gawk at Rey's bare body.
Rey thought she heard a gasp, and felt something a little off in the bond. She looked around but she was alone. One second she'd felt the bond flare like it did when Ben was in reaching distance and the next he was back to being farther away, like when he visited his room. She shook her head, but did examine the bond. Nothing felt too off. Ben's emotions had been all over the place the whole day, but now she felt a strange mixture of raging desire, guilt, vague but dissipating pain and weariness. She closed her eyes and sent comfort and love though the bond and wished that he was back by her side.
She reached up to get the soap to finish her shower, but it was not where she thought it was, and it did not smell like her floral shower. It smelled like Ben. She opened her eyes and she was in his shower. He was facing away from her, and she eyed the width of his shoulders, and the plane of his back. His hair was plastered to his back and she wanted to run her hands through it, and pull him towards her. But she restrained herself, averting her eyes so he wouldn't catch her ogling him without his knowledge she was even there.
But then he turned to the side, leaning hard against the wall. If he turned his head at all, he would see her there, but he didn't. And now Rey could not help but stare. She'd seen glimpses of his chest before, but never completely bare. It was a sight, one that made her knees feel like they were going to give out. There were muscles and definition everywhere. Even the strange muscles that made a sort of "v" leading down. Force! She'd felt it often enough but seeing his manhood was a different experience completely. It was larger than she'd estimated, and it jutted out a bit, something that clothing did not particularly allow for. Rey knew that she shouldn't watch, that she should try to get back to her own shower, or at the least, let him know that she was there.
She opened her mouth to do just that, but when Ben took his soapy hand and grabbed his length, she was rendered speechless. They'd talked briefly a while back, admitting to touching themselves, and she was fascinated how it worked for him. She did know that he said it was pleasurable when he was hard, and she wanted to know what he did when he touched himself that made it feel so good. Her own clumsy explorations on long nights in Jakku felt okay, but left her vaguely empty. And it did nothing to relieve any tension. Maybe it was because she had different parts than Ben, and if she couldn't get hard, it didn't feel good. But she was thinking too much. Ben moaned and she snapped her eyes to his face. His head was thrown back, his mouth slightly open, and a slight crease formed between his brows. Not the one when he frowned or worried, but the one where he was intent, or concentrating.
His hand started to move, and she watched. His long fingers grasped himself firmly, and made several slow strokes, and if possible he grew a little bigger. His hand moved faster, and his breathing picked up. It wasn't long before he stopped the steady rhythm, jerked a few times, and something came out in spurts. All the tension seemed to drain out of his body, and he slid to the floor.
Rey suddenly felt extremely guilty, she knew she'd witnessed something private, and she tried to imagine being back in her shower. As her vision shifted, she was seeing a weird mix of both showers mixing together and then pulling apart. Before everything shifted, Ben looked up and their eyes met.
"Rey?" Ben asked quietly.
But they were separated again, and Rey put up the wall between her and Ben so that he didn't feel her guilt and shame. She desperately hoped that he would forgive her, but knew he might need some time. She didn't want her raging feelings to influence what he decided.
