Chapter thirty-one: And dream of sheep


Thomas exhales raggedly as he pulls himself up off the floor. He'd hoped that he'd be able to sleep peacefully without waking up Kate. But he was wrong. The nightmares followed him everywhere. There was never to be any peace for him in this life of his.

Her door opened. "Thomas?"

He whips around to see her hurrying towards him. "I'm sorry," he pulled himself up from the floor and sat on the couch, rubbing his eyes. I didn't mean to wake you."

She kneels beside him. "It's alright, I wasn't asleep anyway. What happened?"

He chooses not to answer her as he exhales rapidly. "It's alright, go back to bed."

"No." She shakes her head as she hoists herself up onto the couch beside him. "I'm not going to think any less of you Thomas, if it's what I think it is." he glances towards her. In her haste to get out of her room, she hadn't even bothered to grab her robe. She was wearing a delicate, pale blue, silky nighty that rested above her knees. "I have them too on occasion."

"Have what?" he was actually so distracted that he'd forgotten what she was talking about for a moment.

"The nightmares." She places her hand on top of his. His heart stills in his chest that he looks towards her face. "I see and remember the faces of men I saved on occasion. It's mostly, the ones I wasn't able to save that keep me up at night."

He nods. "I'd have hoped a woman…wouldn't have seen what we had to see."

"There's one man who comes to taunt me once in a while. He'd been shot in the head." She swallows. "Wouldn't have been so bad, had he not been alive and conscious."

Thomas cringes. "Christ Kate."

"Matron wanted to teach me a lesson and didn't mind putting him through hell." Her tone, though calm, is still filled with emotional torment. "She wouldn't let me sedate him, so he could pass peacefully. He kept pulling at my hand, begging me to help him, but there was nothing for me to do but to hold his hand for 30 minutes before he finally died. He wasn't in any pain, but…he was awake and aware that he wasn't going to live for long."

Thomas looks up at her. She is like him, inwardly broken but strong on the outside. "So, you get them too? The nightmares?"

"Yes." She whispers softly and he squeezes her hand. "Some nights…. I wake up to the taste of fresh blood in my mouth." She drops her gaze as he shifts closer to her. "The bloods mine because; I was biting my tongue so hard in my sleep. The nights I dream that I'm drowning in blood….are the worst." She chuckles bitterly. "And the worst of it is….we actually signed up for it, but…neither of us was expecting it."

He shakes his head. "No."

She sighs. "What torments you at night?"

He's silent for a moment before stating. "Shovels."

"So, you were a tunneler as well?"

He nods. "Sometimes, it lasts all night." "And I lie here…and I listen to the shovel…and the picks…against that wall there." he glances towards the wall in the room, staring at it for a moment. "And I pray the sun will come up with the curtains before they break through. No, I don't pray. I hope. Sometimes it happens, the sun beats them. But mostly…the shovels beat the sun."

Kate rests her head on his shoulder. "If you ever need to talk, I'm here." she asks quietly. "Don't ever think I can't understand, because I do. We've both seen Hell….now; we've got to cope on Earth."

He exhales sharply as he leans forward, his knees on his elbows and his hand over his eyes. He inhales and exhales again as Kate rubs his shoulders comfortingly. She doesn't say anything more, but he can feel the understanding. For once, someone in his life actually knew the horrors as he had known. He'd never expected to find a woman who could be strong and understanding about such a thing.

"How old are you, Kate?" he asks as he sits up, clearing his throat.

"That's not a very gentlemanly thing for you to ask me."

He laughs at the light, slightly teasing tone in her voice. "Right, I'll tell you my age first." He reaches for her and pulls her into his side. "I'm twenty-nine."

"Come Christmas, I'll be twenty-one." His brow arches in surprise. "What? Am I too young for you?"

"You act a lot older than twenty, but then you've seen a lot more than any woman should have ever seen." He frowns as he counts back the years. "So, you were seventeen when we met in the war?" she nods. "They shouldn't have let you go out there, that young."

"My father falsified my record," she explained. "told them I was twenty-one. He was hoping that I'd come back from the war, hating Germans and I'd agree to stop seeing Emmett." She's silent for a moment. "If my math is correct, you were twenty-six."

"Yes." He's silent for a moment before saying softly. "You could have died out there in France. I would have never known you."

"Ironic, isn't it?" Kate tilts her face up towards him. "You were so protective of me in those brief, first, few minutes."

"I wanted to shake you till your teeth fell out of your head." he admitted honestly.

She smiles faintly. "What I recall, is the moment before you put me in the ambulance. A shell went off and you covered me with your own body." He inhales sharply, remembering that moment as well. It had been a poignant moment for him. He remembered feeling as if the world had slowed down around him for just a second and he couldn't understand why at that time. Now he did. "You had no idea you were protecting someone who could end up as your future wife."

Thomas pulled her towards him and held onto her tightly. He needed her, so much; it was almost scary for him. There was something between them tonight, it was strong and strange. It had grown stronger, especially since they'd been so open with each other about their thoughts for the future. And now, they shared the secret nightmares of their past.

Kate smiles as she wraps her arms around his shoulders, holding onto him tightly. Her touch was as calming as the most soothing balm he'd ever felt to his soul. Kate looked at him, a soft smile on her face and he came undone. Propriety be damned, he had to kiss her and drink her in. Kate seems to surrender to him and she returns his kisses, seemingly with a thirst that matches his own.

Kate's wearing this delicate, pale blue nightdress and he's wearing only his union shorts, so it doesn't take long for his body to react to the feminine body underneath his. Kate isn't protesting, in fact, she seems to be responding to his kisses. Even when he locks his arm around her waist and shifts so she's lying on her back and he's between her legs, she continues to respond.

He couldn't stand it a moment longer, he wanted her so badly. Kate let out a moan as he slipped his tongue inside her mouth. She squirmed slightly, but she didn't push him away. As he gently manipulates her tongue with his, he loops an arm under her leg and guides it around his waist. Kate sighs and tilts her head back onto the armrest of the couch. She's breathing fast, her eyes are closed and she actually looks aroused.

He can bear it no longer. He needs to feel her, to touch and to be in her. He brings up her top to her stomach, and slides his hand inside of her silken undergarments. He glances at her, Kate was a very proper woman, and the fact that she's not protesting this is confusing to him. Kate's eyes flutter open as he looks down at her. Then, he remembers the look she'd given him before going into her room that night and it all becomes clear in his mind.

Kate wants him!

"Thomas?" Kate's green eyes widened and she gasps as she feels his hand pressing against her.

He instantly assures her. "I'm not gonna have sex with you, Kate." His tone is harsh, but he can't control his voice, he's wanted her for too long. He hopes he can keep that promise, but it's not going to be easy for him, especially since Kate at this moment is being very willing and compliant towards him.

"What are you," He slides a finger inside her. Kate lets out a cry as she throws her head back, her eyes closed. "God!"

Thomas leans forward, so he's hovering over her body. She looks up at him, her green eyes wide with many emotions in them; terror, curiosity, and arousal. He inhales, remembering that he needs to go slow for her sake. She's tight and wet, he can feel her throbbing around his finger and he hadn't been with a woman since the night he found her in his stables.

He shifts closer to her, kissing her deeply and he feels her hands creep towards his shoulders. He moves his lips across her neck, causing her breathing to go ragged as he sucks and nibbled on the exposed skin that peeps from the thin straps. God, he wants so badly to just throw romancing her out the window and just bury himself deep inside her. To take her until she lies underneath him, senseless and completely his. The only thing preventing him from doing that was knowing the moment he did anything without her permission, it's over with her.

Thomas slides another finger inside her, causing her to grab a hold of him tightly as he pumped harder. To his surprise, Kate begins moving her hips in sync with his movements. He can practically feel her heart pounding out of her chest as her breathing becomes more and more breathy. Unable to stop himself, he leans forward and gently bites her collarbone. Kate lets out a soft moan as her entire body stiffens. Her fingers dig into his shoulders as she tenses around his fingers before letting out a cry as she experiences her first orgasm.

Kate holds onto him, her breathing heavy. Thomas decides in that moment he can wait no longer. He desperately needs to find his release, but when he does, he wants to be inside her. He lifts her up into his arms while she looks curiously up at him. Her green eyes are sparkling, her mahogany hair is a mess about her face and he'd never seen her look more stunning in that moment. He had to get her back into her bed before she came off of her high.

He leans forward and kisses her, causing her to moan. His senses are on high alert as he enters her bedroom. Kate continues to respond to his kisses without a word. He pauses so he can turn up the oil lamp by her bed so he can see her expression better. Kate says nothing as lays her down on the bed onto the bed; she doesn't even push him away as he carefully gets on top of Kate. She says nothing to him as he spread her legs and settles between them.

Her eyes dance nervously across his face, and the love that he feels for her forces him to ask. "Do you want this Kate? Do you want me?"


Idcam: Yes, she's adamant, but every once in a while, Thomas manages to find the kinks in her armor. Apologies in advance for the cliffhanger! I'll try to post a new chapter tonight!