I finally arrive home. It's been a long drive. Technically it was twenty minutes, but with the disturbing phone calls it felt like two hours. No. That's ridiculous. My fatigue has affected my sense of time.

I pull into my long driveway and then park in the garage. I leave my shoes in the car, sanitize my hands and arms, then strip. My clothes go in a plastic bag, then in a bin, and I walk naked to the pool house.

I hear a whistle. "Nice ass, Edward," Emmett yells. "Hey, do I see shrinkage?"

I sigh. Why is he outside right now? And why does he live next door? I voted no on the idea when the house came up for sale, but apparently my family and friends aren't very democratic and didn't let me participate. I was voter-suppressed and I'm still bitter.

I glance down. My penis looks exactly the same. But I make a mental note to ask Bella if it looks different to her. She is the expert in that field.

"Go inside, Emmett. I have to decontaminate."

"I'm bored," he whines. "Rosalie kicked me out for an hour. She said if I didn't leave she'd kill me or...well, there was no other choice."

I feel your pain, Rosalie. Figuratively, of course. But she chose him as her partner, so I'm not that sympathetic. "I'm naked, Emmett. And I haven't seen my family in almost a week."

"I know. By the way, forty looks good on you, bro. Those extra crunches are paying off."

"Umm, thank you?" I mean what else can I say when my best friend is judging me while I stand naked in my yard. "Talk to you later. Please follow all protocols for disinfecting and social distancing."

I hear him mumble something about "wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole." I sigh and make a note to remind him that his distancing pole should be six feet long. Honestly, why do I bother sending anyone my reports?

I finally step into my shower and give myself a vigorous scrubbing with soap. I dress in the extra clothes I keep there for post-decontamination showers. I wipe everything down with my wipes, (ha, I bet that case I always have available doesn't look so ridiculous now, does it) and then I am ready to see my family.

I walk quickly to the back door of my house and punch in the code to unlock the door.

And what I see...

I have no words.

Except for, "No!"

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BPOV

The relief I feel when Alice, Jasper, and Dalai come through the front door is so intense that I hug all of them. Seeing how tired and stressed I look, Jasper offers to watch the kids while I go take a shower and nap. And as much as I would love a nap, I'm not entirely sure I'll be able to really rest until Edward gets home.

"Boys," Jasper says, taking off his shirt. "go to your rooms and put on your swim trunks."

Jasper places a small leather bag on the coffee table – which he then pushes to the side of the room – while Alice and Dalai start placing small woven blankets in a circle.

"Ummm…." I look over to Alice. "Do I even want to know?"

Do I even care as long as I can have thirty minutes alone to myself?

"Don't worry, Bella," Alice says, coming over to give me another hug. I forget how strong she is for such a tiny person. "This is fine. It's actually great. It will be good for the kids, and it will keep them occupied for a while. It looks like you could use some time to yourself."

"Really, Bella," Jasper reassures me, as he places small brown vials of essential oils in a straight line on the coffee table. "We're just going to do a little holistic aura cleansing to get the family in the right frame of mind and body. Lavender is excellent for soothing anxiety. Basil oil does wonders for the bronchial tubes. Bay laurel is known for its healing properties for coughs and colds, along with clary sage oil. Lemongrass has tremendous antiseptic properties, and orange oil will help with anyone struggling with constipation."

"No one is dealing with constipation, Jasper," I tell him, trying not to laugh.

"Speak for yourself, Bella," he says seriously. "And finally, thyme oil is good for lung infections, and I think all of us would like to ward off any possibility of that."

"Fine," I say. "Just don't get any oil on the carpets."

I head to the master suite to take a long, hot shower. It feels good standing under the stream of hot water, and for a brief moment, I imagine Edward is here with me. Yeah, the physical part of our relationship is still awesome, though, not entirely as frequent as it used to be before we had three kids.

But we still make use of the hot tub Edward insisted on installing when we bought this house.

And even with everyone staying here for the next…who knows how long, I'm trying to figure out how we can find some alone time for just the two of us.

Soon.

I've just finished drying my hair when I hear Emmett's voice in the backyard, so I walk over to look out the window. And I'm shocked to see my husband – and his fine-ass naked body – walking through the yard to the pool house.

Damn.

How does he still look this good after all these years?

And why is he naked in the backyard?

My first thought is to run out there and join him, but running naked through the house in front of our children and family is out of the question. It doesn't matter how much I really want to. So, I take my time getting dressed instead, happy in the knowledge that Edward is home.

Finally.

And soon I'll be in his arms.

I'm lost in my thoughts when I hear his booming voice scream, "No!"

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EPOV

"What in the fu-front door are you doing here?" I yell at my brother-in-law. He has my children in a circle, sitting shirtless, in some sort of pose. I almost cursed, but I stop myself when I see my children and my niece. "Bella?" I call out, desperate. "Why are my children disheveled and greasy? Are we doing a homeschool production of Lord of the Flies?

"It's like Uncle Emmett's house now with all the yelling," says Bennett. "Cool. Dad, I missed you."

"Hi, dad," the twins call out from the floor.

"Hi, boys. I missed you so much." I say, trying to cope with the obvious breach in my defenses and not freak out my kids.

"Edward, we just cleared out the negative energies, and you brought them back," Jasper says. He seems irritated. Like I'm contaminating the space?

"Alice?" I ask in a panic. "How could you come here without my permission? I established clear protocols. I thought at least you would follow them."

She looks at me, sheepishly. "It's fine, Edward. I promise."

"We are all completely anointed with cleansing oils, Edward," Jasper replies.

"How could they be clean? It smells like a medieval apothecary. Which is not at all sterile."

"I'm sensing you're distressed." He starts walking toward me. He wouldn't do that if he could actually sense how I'm feeling. Charlatan.

I look around desperately for my wife. This is a nightmare. A germ-filled, oily nightmare.

Alice walks toward me too, hands out. It's like one of those zombie shows Heathcliff and Benjamin like to watch. Only this is actually happening in my house and not in a dystopian world.

"Six feet. Stay back," I call out. I spot my social distance tool and hold it up in front of me.

"Edward," Bella calls out from the stairs. "Calm down. Can I come hug you, or are you going to poke me with that six foot stick?"

"Bella," I sigh with relief. She hurries over and I drop said stick in front of me, then envelop her in a hug. She whispers how much she missed me and needs me in my ear. I kiss her, briefly forgetting the anarchy in my great room. We pull apart as we hear snickering. Once again I become aware of our audience.

"Why is this happening, Bella? Do my safety protocols mean nothing?"

"We took the proper precautions, Edward. It's just Jasper. He's harmless. The boys do yoga all the time with him. It's good for their health and posture. You can appreciate that." She does make a good point, although I've never had to utilize ancient North Indian practices to maintain good posture.

"It's also-" Bella gives Jasper a look which stops him from saying any more.

"Yeah, not the time, Jazzy," Alice says. "Edward. We've basically been in isolation for the last two weeks. We were on a meditation retreat in the desert. We haven't been in contact with anyone for that whole time. I would never endanger you or your family."

I take a deep, cleansing breath. Well, as much as possible because of the cloying stench in the air. Now I know why he always smells like Nana Cullen's bathroom.

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BPOV

I take Edward's hand, and he squeezes back. For a moment, I let myself be happy that he's home and he's safe, and so is my family.

My crazy family.

I lean up and whisper in his ear, "Really, Edward? A six foot stick?"

"Yes," he says seriously. "Six feet is the minimum space allowed for social distancing."

"Who says six feet?"

"Yes. WHO said. Literally. The World Health Organization. I can't always have a tape measure and I refuse to estimate."

Sometimes, he reminds so much of the young man I fell in love with forever ago. And right now, at this moment, I think I'm falling in love with him all over again.

This is who he is.

The man I married.

And I would do it all over again.

"I have a woven blanket with your name on it," Jasper tells Edward. It was blessed by our shaman, if you'd like to join us."

I see the abject fear in Edward's eyes before he says, "You are very lucky that studies show the virus is not transmitted through fabric."

He squeezes my hand harder.

"As much as I'm sure Edward would love nothing more than to sit down and take part in…all this," I say, trying to diffuse the situation, "He's been working for several days straight, and I think he might need some time to rest before he participates in any family activities."

"Of course he does," Alice says, coming to Edward's rescue. "Edward, why don't you and Bella go and get settled, and when you're rested," she winks, "you can come back. Jasper and I will entertain the kids."

"Can we watch Frozen 2?" Bennett asks.

"You've already watched that today!" says Heath.

"I want to watch 'The Mandalorian,' " Benjamin pipes in.

"Noooo!" Dalai cries. "Let's watch Bob Ross!"

Edward looks concerned.

"Studies have determined that excessive television viewing causes a reduction in brain function, which can lead to lower grades," he says with absolute gravity. "It also causes poor sleep and leads to aggressive behavior. Just ask your Uncle Emmett."

"I would ask Uncle Emmett," Bennett whines, "but Mom said we weren't allowed to go over there."

"What if we play a game?" Alice says brightly.

The kids all perk up, and I take this as my cue to finally be alone with my husband. I mean, it's not like I can take him upstairs and have my way with him with a house full of people.

Can I?

We could be really quiet…

"Let's go upstairs, honey," I whisper. "I've missed you."

His smile… Yeah, that's one that made me fall in love.

He's pulling me toward the stairs when someone knocks on the door.

Loudly.

"Don't open that," Edward says. "We don't know who it is until I look on the camera in the kitchen."

"Bells," someone yells through the door. "Open up!"

Is that my… "Dad?"

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AN: The response to this has been great. Thank you for reading.