Chapter Seven

Expedition

The morning came when it was time for the Expedition to head out. Varric, Anders and Bethany stood with Hawke while Carver and Fenris stood with me. Isabela, Merrill, and Aveline stood off to the side to see us off. Hawke and I had each been 'allotted' 2 companions – not counting our dogs – for the trip; Varric didn't count since he was one of the main 4 contributors 'Investors'.

"We've chosen one of the hidden entrances; the Deep Roads there will be nice and virginal, ready for a good deflowering," Bartrand said. He looked similar to Varric; strawberry hair rather than blonde, blue eyes instead of brown, 4'8 so he was an inch taller… but he had a beard that had enough hair for two braids – one on either side of his mouth. He also wasn't as good looking as Varric.

"Now there's an interesting image…" Varric chuckled from between Hawke and I. I gave him a smile.

"It will take a week for us to get to the depth we need, and there are bound to be leftover darkspawn from the Blight. Big risks, big rewards."

I noticed Bodahn and Sandal look my way; Sandal began jumping and clapping, calling 'Enchantment!'

I smiled and waved back, much to the amusement of our companions as Sandal came rushing over for a hug. I leaned forward and hugged him back. "Sandal! It's mighty good to see you again! This is Revas, Fens pup," Revas came close and sniffed at the boy before barking playfully.

"Good to see you again, Ara! It'll be nice having a familiar face on the trip." Bodahn came closer and shook my hand as Sandal played with Revas. Bodahn was 4'6 with brown hair and clear blue-grey eyes. He had a beard that trailed into a small braid at the tip of his chin. He was in his 40s but it hardly showed. Sandal was his son; adopted of course. The Dwarven boy was 'simple' to most people, but I knew the truth.

Sandal was only half dwarf. His father was an Aeducan and his mother was either an elf or a human… likely a mage. Sandal had magic, not that he showed many signs of it. He wasn't simple at all; he could predict the future well enough – if you listen to him in DA2 he predicts Solas' actions.

The Savant boy was merely Lyrium Addled from his time traveling the Deep Roads until he was 5 when Bodahn found him. Sandal was almost 5 foot tall; made sense given his blood mix. He had white blond hair – like Fenris' it was turned by over-exposure to Lyrium – and his eyes were like mine… silver and they glowed in the sunlight.

"Now, before we… wait. Who invited the old woman?" I heard and turned to see Leandra.

She was actually only 5'5 so the kids must have gotten their height from Malcom. She had blue eyes like Bethany, and grey hair. I knew her kids all got the black hair because both she and Malcom had once had it themselves. She was quite pretty, overall.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, Ser Dwarf, but I need to speak with my children."

I wondered over. Carver gave an exasperated sigh, "Mother, no. we've talked about ow important this is!"

"I just want to know one thing: are you planning to take Carver and Bethany with you?"

"I can't leave them behind, mother. Carver is talented with his blade and Templars are circling for Bethany… she needs to get out of Kirkwall."

"If it helps, Lady Hawke, I will look after them. I've made several trips to the Deep Roads before, I know what to expect. And if something happens, I know how to help them. I swear to you, you will see all your children again if I have any say in the matter."

All four Hawkes relaxed.

"Personal drama over with? Then let's get underway."


We were a mere day away from our destination. I had a new tent up – Anders, Bethany, Carver, Varric, myself with Fenris, and Bodahn with Sandal.

"Alright Ara; we're almost there, so no turning back for any of us… you told me you'd explain." Hawke said that night as we ate dinner.

Bodahn had already taken Sandal to bed.

I sighed. "Women should know that, going into the Deep Roads, if they're captured, they need to find a way to get dead quick. Darkspawn kill the men, but they take women to turn into Broodmothers, Hawke. That's how they make more Darkspawn. Bethany will be safe from that, and I'm immune to the taint, but if we brought more than one female, we can't guarantee protection for them all. Carver and Bethany will contract the taint down here, that's unavoidable, but I have a letter of Conscription for them both, signed by Warden-Commander Aedan Cousland. They will be Ferelden Grey Wardens, under my care as soon as they are able to return to me. According to the letter, we are attempting to take care of Darkspawn that have surfaced in the Marches near Kirkwall; in truth, I just want them to stay with family until that's no longer possible."

"You had me bring my siblings knowing they would be tainted?!"

Carver actually looked fine with it… Bethany looked horrified.

"Yes. It was this or they'd end up in the Gallows. Carver as a Templar, Bethany as a mage… and in less than 6 years, something will happen that will make it less safe for them than being a Grey Warden. I'm trying to keep your family alive in the only ways I know how Hawke. This way won't require an Equal Exchange; no one has to die for this option, because it was the way things would have been if it had just been you, one sibling, and Anders here. I already paid for Bethany's life; I will not let her die, Damnit!"

"They'd… they would die if they didn't become Wardens?"

"Yes, Hawke… depending on which side you take in the conflict, at least one of them would die."

Hawke sank back into his chair. He had stood to yell at me but now… he looked like he had aged 10 years in 10 seconds.

"How long have you had that letter?" Anders asked. "The second night Alistair visited the Vigil; he brought me the official stationary from the Denerim Warehouse. I had Aedan write it up the night before he left to protect Amaranthine. Technically speaking, the Twins have been Wardens for as long as they've known you, Anders. I can't say as long as they've known me, sense Bethany met me in Lothering almost two years ago, now."

Hawke looked horrified. "What does that mean for them?"

"Not a damn thing. I didn't have Aedan date it on purpose. As far as Stroud will know, I only received the letter before coming down here… but if he asks, one of you will have to say it; I can't tell him that lie."

"I'll say it," Anders shrugged. "He doesn't like me, anyway… I stole his maps."

Hawke snorted and not long after, we went to bed.


We arrived the next afternoon. There was a red glow to everything, and I could feel the singing of the corrupted Lyrium in the walls.

A bald dwarf with extensive face tattooing came running up to Bartrand, "There's been a collapse – the way forward is blocked. The side passages seem to be too dangerous."

Bartrand went slack for moment; looking completely relaxed before he reached up, gave his face a scratch and punched the poor blighter in the face. Shooting the messenger… "Useless; what am I paying you blighters for?! Set camp!"

I rolled my eyes and went to help the bald dwarf to his feet. He gave me a look of surprise before nodding his head to me and rushing off.

It was a few hours later when Hawke approached Bartrand. "Sodding Deep Roads! Who knows how long it'll take to clear the path?" Bartrand complained.

"Shall we not try to find a way around, instead? Seems the logical choice," Varric shrugged.

"You think I'm an idiot, Varric? The scouts say the side passages are too dangerous."

"See this is why you bring someone like me along." Hawke smirked.

"We'll take a look. If we come running back, screaming, you'll know staying put was the right decision."

Bartrand looked ready to strange someone as he groaned, "Fine, fine! Find a way around. Just do it quickly."

"This is why I left the Wardens… I hate the blighted Deep Roads," Anders pinched his nose as a giggled. "Like I gave you a choice? I know you would have left anyway, but face it… I kidnapped you with the Warden-Commanders blessing."

He chuckled, "I suppose you did at that."

Anders and I had spoken at length about what would happen in the future. I told him he would die for it; he knew what needed to be done. He had looked at me with determination and nodded. Justice had peaked out and told me, 'the safety of the many depends on this… I will wait until the time is right.'

It had killed me. I wished so badly that I could prevent it all together, but I knew that was ill advised – law of Equal Exchange. They were meant to die, and if not then who would die in their place – children, elderly or worse…?

"Ara… I hate to add to your burdens, my friend, but I fear I must! Sandal has wondered off; he's somewhere in that passage right now," Bodahn begged me.

"Bodahn, my friend, we will find him. Hawke is an excellent fighter and we will save him from whatever harms tries to come for him. He will be safe."

Bodahn looked from me to Hawke – realizing now that Hawke was the leader – and gave him a pleading look.

"As Ara said, we will return your boy safe, Bodahn," Hawke nodded.

We were just barely out of site of the main camp – we had all taken our belongings at my insistence – when Varric looked at the rivers of lava next to the 'roads' and sighed, "It's official: my ancestors were crazy."

I snorted.

We fought darkspawn; and because I hadn't said when the twins would get tainted, they were subconsciously being more careful; a trait I knew would wear down later, causing them to contract the taint.

When we had a small break, I stabbed my thumb with a dagger and smeared some of my blood on Hawkes face. "Erm… what did you do?" Fenris asked.

"It's not magic. My blood is immune to the taint, so I'm making sure Hawke is protected. He's vital to the future; like even after everything happens in Kirkwall, he will still be needed. Besides, doesn't that look sexy on him; the red streak on his face?"

"I'll give you that it does make him seem more… appealing. And so long as it isn't magic, that's all I need."

Hawke groaned. "Are you just going to put it back if I wipe it off?"

Fenris, Anders and I looked at each other before all saying "Yes," at the same time.

"Do you at least think Isabela would like the look… if I got like a tattoo or something?" I thought about it. "Honey, she'd like you any way she could have you… I know Merrill likes Carver. And I know someone who is already in love with your sister…"

"Excuse me?" Carver asked as Bethany squeaked a, 'what?' and Hawke looked stunned.

"Who loves me?" Bethany asked. "Now don't take this weird, but you have yet to meet him. I told him about you and… had a vision of the two of you… you're both Grey Wardens so it's acceptable… and even if it wasn't you two make a lovely couple. He's been nervous to meet –"

"You can't mean the Archer?!" Anders cried out.

"I'll have you know he is a perfect gentleman! And honestly Anders, you know he'd be great for her!"

"I'm sorry, who are you talking about?"

"Nathaniel Howe… Son of former Arl Rendon Howe, currently a Grey Warden. He's really sweet. And he knows you're a mage, Bethany…"

"Well… the least I can do is meet with him. I trust you, Ara. If you say we'll be happy together, I'd give it a shot." Bethany smiled.

I perked up as we headed further into the Deep Roads. I heard Carver questioning Anders about if he'd known Merrill had liked him. "Feathers, have I told you lately that you have a way with people?"

"More than once, I believe."

We encountered the spiders – yes there really was a massive one – before moving on to more Darkspawn… I hated the Darkspawn.

I was making sure to 'loot' as much treasure as I could, knowing what Bartrand was going to do. I kept it all in a Void Bag tied to my waist. The others gave me funny looks, but didn't question it.

"Well, I'll be a nugs uncle… isn't that Bodahns boy?" Varric asked and I smiled at the perfect ring of Darkspawn corpses surrounding him… and the Frozen Ogre hovering in mid-air.

Sandal was facing away from us as he scratched his thigh and Hawke began to approach.

"Hello…" Sandal gave us a grin as his face was covered in blood. I used magic to clean him up.

"It is! The great warrior stands victorious!" Carver laughed.

"I'd really like to know how you managed to kill all of them…" Hawke chuckled, kneeling in front of the Dwarf.

Sandal looked him dead in the eye, holing out a small blue stone with red etching on it. Hawke took the stone gently, and Sandal said, "Boom!"

"And, uh… how did you do that?" Hawke motioned to the Ogre. "Not Enchantment," Sandal replied gravely.

Hawke ended up escorting Sandal back to camp while the rest of us cleared the small area; we didn't want anyone taking advantage of Sandal.

When Hake returned, we continued on.

It actually took us two days to clear our way to the Dragon… and the group was not happy that I hadn't mentioned the Dragon until the last second…

"Well, where is the fun in surprises if you know about them before hand?" I asked.

"Very funny," Hawke said dryly. Varric was chuckling but no one else seemed amused.

"Well, here we go. This looks like it goes right where we need to be. Let's go back and tell Bartrand; he'll be so pleased," Varric grinned at me.

"Fenris, Carver and I will make camp here and set it up for the excavation teams. Hawke, your group should go back and get the others… I don't think you'll run into any problems, but you will a two day trip there and back… much faster now that most of the 'spawn are dead…"

Hawke nodded and my group began setting things up in the Cavern for when they got back… it only took us a few hours to finish before I set our tent.


That first night, Fenris and I were talking.

"When will I fight Denarius?" He asked. "Not for several more years, love."

"What does one do when they stop running?"

"You start over, Fenris. You look around, find out what you want to stay and what you want to get rid of… and you begin working to make it happen. For me… I knew who I'd follow, but I didn't know I'd find love along the way. It was… difficult. Back on Earth, I was considered rather… undesirable. Sure, I have nice eyes and a great rack, but I'm over-weight, rather plain looking and damaged. I have so much baggage following me around – even back then – that most people didn't find me worth the effort. Now I have Alistair, and two other wonderful men I love… and I'm terrified of losing any of you. If I have to accept a role of only friendship to be near you, then that's what I'll do. Fenris, you have Hawke, Carver… me… we all love you in our ways."

"My first memory is receiving these markings; the Lyrium being branded into my flesh. The agony wiped away everything. Whatever life I had before I became a slave… it's lost…" he shook his head and looked away from me. We were snuggled up together on our bed. "I shouldn't trouble you with this… my problems are not yours."

I snorted. "They are though. Even if you said nothing to me of them, my love, I would still know. If you want to know more… I can tell you a bit of your past. It isn't pretty, but it isn't my choice."

"I don't think I'm ready for that yet. I know that Fenris was the name Denarius gave me; his 'little wolf'."

"Well… I could help with your problems…" I gave him a sly grin, "Or give you a few more." He laughed, "Only a few?"

"Depends if I really work at it, don't you think?" he kissed my forehead and I looked up at him in shock. He smirked, "You're a beautiful woman… are you sure you wish to bestow your affection on me?"

"You want to repeat that first part?"

"I'm quite certain that I need not repeat the obvious." He chuckled. "You know I'm an escaped slave and an elf… living in 'borrowed' mansion… none of this bothers you?"

"I'm also a former slave; one that looks like an elf… and if the mansion bothers you, you're free to claim my home too… I know you won't, but I'd love to have you there any time. Not to mention, I'm married to the King of Ferelden, you will likely have to have a talk with my brothers at some point if we do this, and to top it off, I'm so messed up you wouldn't believe it. I can't mention almost any of my 'kinks' to any of the men I love because of the way the past has played for any of us…" realizing what I had just said, I looked away.

"Well… you raise some interesting points. I will consider that." He looked slightly uncomfortable.


When Hawke returned we all continued on…

Bartrand whistled, "I thought… an abandoned Thaig, something old, but… what is this?"

"How did you even know it was down here?" Hawke asked.

"Old scavenger tale; after the 3rd Blight. A week below the surface they said; nobody believed them… looks like they were right."

Bartrand nodded at me, "Thank you for setting camp."

Did he just… thank me? Or was that my imagination?

After a day of looking around, Bartrand approached our group. I could tell the Lyrium had been singing to him. He looked ragged; I was the only one to notice, it seemed.

"I don't get it; nothing makes sense."

"Why's that?" Hawke looked like he was expecting Bartrand to just tell us to pack up and go home.

"We're well below the Deep Roads… Wherever dwarves lived here, they came well before the first Blight. But where are the statues of Paragons? I don't recognize the markings on the walls or anything in the rubble."

"That just means its valuable… right?"

"Yes, but… I know enough about our history to know that Dwarves haven't changed much. We've been mired in Tradition for ages. These dwarves may have been unique. If so, I hope they kept their valuables close at hand."

When we were away from Bartrand, "What is it you're not saying?"

"He's right. This place hasn't been inhabited since before the Arlathan Empire fell. No statues because there were no Paragons, only Titans. I'm not sure how the Golems got here, but there are a few: it's odd because the Golems were only created during the First Blight in 255 Ancient. I know that Caridin had led a few expeditions to reclaim Thaigs… maybe this was one of them? I won't know for sure, unless I could talk to Caridin again…"

"Wait… Paragon Caridin has been alive since 255 Ancient? That was the year 940 of the Tevinter Empire… that's more than a thousand years ago, Feathers."

"Yeah, and? He's a Golem, Varric, he doesn't age. He was forced onto the Anvil only 7 years after making it, you know."

"Still… hard to believe that all that happened before Andraste was even born…" Hawke breathed.

I shrugged. "Let's get to work… we have a long adventure ahead of us."

Bodahn stopped us on our way. "Thank you again, Messer! I owe you a great debt. I will repay it; I swear it on my life," he spoke to Hawke and I smirked from behind Bodahn as Hawke shot me a look. I gave Sandal a hug.

"Er… no need. I'm just glad he was alright."

"Because of you. You will not regret this, Messer," Bodahn had tears in his eyes as he thanked Hawke. "Revas… keep watch over Sandal for me, okay? I'll meet you back in Kirkwall," I whispered to the hound, who barked and sat next to the Dwarf with a happy look as I handed Sandal the void bag of dog food. "Doggie!"

"Bitch," Hawke said as we continued past Bodahns hearing. I giggled and danced ahead before turning and leaning forward to stick out my tongue as though I was in an anime.

"You're just jealous that I thought of it first! I've known Bodahn for almost 2 years Hawke; that boy is his life."

"Fuck yes I'm jealous! I don't need gratitude for something Sandal did himself. I tried telling him that, but he thought I was just playing it off!"

Fenris gave me a small smirk. It really was a simple hour walk to get to the Red Lyrium Idol.

"You seeing what I'm seeing?" Varric asked the group.

"Is that… Lyrium?" Hawke asked me in disbelief.

"Well, whatever it is, it's definitely magic; and not the good kind," Anders muttered.

"It doesn't look like any kind of Lyrium I've seen."

Bartrand entered the cavern and Varric turned to him. "Look at this, Bartrand; an Idol made of pure Lyrium, I think… could be worth a fortune!"

The other Dwarf whistled and said, "You could be right: excellent find."

Hawke picked it up and tossed it lightly to Bartrand, who caught it. As Hawke turned his back, I saw the Dwarf smirk and head toward the door.

"Not bad, we'll take a look around and see if there's anything further in." Varric looked to Hawke.

"You do that," Bartrand said, having just exited the room. Carver was the first to notice.

"The door!" he shouted rushing to reach it before it closed.

Bethany looked horrified while Anders and Fenris looked at me in speculation.

"Did you know he'd betray us?" Hawke asked as Varric shouted through the door.

I nodded, looking away. "This Thaig… in the future is called Bartrands Folly. The Idol will drive him crazy… crazier. He would have betrayed us before the whole Idol thing, but… Red Lyrium is a disease; it's toxic and… Bartrand was a lost cause before we ever left Kirkwall…"

"Why did you allow any of this?" Varric spat.

"The Idol… it helps us learn things we need to know for the future; also… it plays an important role with the person he sells it too… and… I can't explain everything. Please, Varric… I swear to you, you will see him again. In a few years."

"Is that your response to everything? In a few years? Honestly, Ara!" I flinched as Varric yelled at me.

"Varric…"

"No, Hawke; she fucking knew!"

"Of course she knew; she's the reason things have gone so smoothly. She's the reason we're all here; in fact, I've placed my siblings' lives in her hands, Varric. We knew when we started out that she couldn't warn us about everything. We knew that bad things would happen, and that they'd need to for the future to survive. She told you that the whole damn world needed things to play out a certain way, and you accepted that."

I looked away as I slowly followed the group. I felt my heart drop as I finally realized why the people in those damn stories never told their friends that they could see the future. It was because of things like this. But I was unable to lie… I couldn't call things 'just a hunch' or a 'feeling'…

I felt tears slip from my eyes as we killed shades and demons. I felt an arrow pass close to my ear and flinched as it hit the wall next to me.

"That was uncalled for, Dwarf!" Fenris growled. "Thought I saw a demon," Varric shrugged. I bit my lip as shame colored my cheeks. I lowered my head and did something stupid: I rushed off. I heard Fenris shout my name and I knew Anders was holding him back, telling him to give me time when I heard Fenris yell, "We don't have that luxury, Abomination! There are too many enemies around!" I didn't hear the rest; I had gotten too far away.